Amusing musings
Hello again
Sun, June 18, 2006 - 6:39 AM
I lament these times we are in for my disappointment with community and country are great, perhaps most of all with myself. Yet I also understand this is the way of ages coming to a close heralding the phoenix rising. This new age of life on Earth is before us if we survive this deep darkness that preludes the dawn.
I wish I didn't sound so melodramatic in my statements but nonetheless this is how I feel and after all isn't expressing these intimate thoughts what a blog is for?
That problem isn't why I began this entry. I actually wanted to make an appeal for help to my friends of another kind. It is too bad that I live so far away from so many of you. It is difficult to find common ground.
I feel overwhelmed. I have begun so much but I cannot finish alone. I have ideas and resources, skills, tools and plans. The problem is getting organized and staying on track from beginning to end. It is also finding others that I can share goals with.
The conflicts of meeting the needs of others and those of myself often seem irreconcilable. Perhaps humanity really is simply too diverse to really unite. I find that most groups recruit without reason and depend on factors that I find deplorable so the end result however is that I belong nowhere.
To truly feel a part of something larger than oneself is a desire we all share but what defines that entity larger than the self is something that more and more appears impossible to agree upon.
Feeling alone when isolated is understandable but feeling isolated and alone when surrounded by family and community implies a level of disassociation that is symptomatic of serious problems. The question for me is how to reach across this divide and find others to share with in a meaningful fashion.
Enough rambling if I do not just post this it will never get out.
Sun, June 18, 2006 - 6:39 AM -
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6 Comments
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Sun, June 18, 2006 - 3:12 PM
Not alone brother!
wow laz, reading this saddens me. i don't know you well, but you've won my respect dozens of times with your unique and intelligent perspective. i hate to think of your feeling so isolated. the only two thoughts that come to mind are these: sometimes we find ourselves alone in life for a period because we need to be. we need to reconnect with more fundamental emotional and personal realities that we've been avoiding; the other thing that comes to mind is something i personally suffer from -- over-intellectualizing and politicizing my feelings. this is very difficult, because our feelings are very connected with intellectual and politic realities, for sure. but it's almost a matter of language. emotions need space to be expressed and aren't always most relieved via relating to them through a secondary level of understanding.
i don't know if these thoughts are any help to you. i hope they are. how about this thought? political radicalism, both activitist and awareness, is at an all-time high right now. the mass media won't represent this back to us, but even the protests against the invasion of iraq were the biggest in human history. feminist awareness, multicultural awareness, freedom of speech -- all have increased greatly in my lifetime. what we are seeing is the night before the dawn, the backlash, the last gasps of an aged regime. i think we are moving in a good direction, overall. the world is getting smaller, war will become largely obsolete with time, and capitalism is the new paradigm that will evolve. it's getting it's day in the sun, and it will change as we learn more and more its faults. i think there are reasons to hope. |
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Sun, June 18, 2006 - 3:14 PM
the nowhere group
"I find that most groups recruit without reason and depend on factors that I find deplorable so the end result however is that I belong nowhere"
there is a large group of us who belong nowhere! funny how "nowhere" is also "now here." |
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Sun, June 18, 2006 - 8:13 PM
Hi Lazarus,
I am sorry to hear of this feeling of isolation. I often think we are ALL alone inmany ways and then the world proves me wrong...I prefer my solitary independence of perspective often... but then at other times I feel that there arre, in fact, many people who see the world in a way that is not so diffferent from my own perspective....perception flucuates.. Anyway, I wish you well and hope that thngs go more smoothly in whatever endeavor it is that you pursue. |
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Wed, June 28, 2006 - 8:45 PM
we the disinfranchised
it almost sounds like you've taken these words strait from my own heart and added years of your own literary experience to them.
I feel the tide changing... I cannot hold it back. my resources too... are many... and still many years away from fruition. I hope that it will all bud in time... but there is no telling what will be left when the waves roll back. far separate but standing together with you... through the core of the earth we both stand, connected! I cannot jump out of the screen at you... but we are connected through our souls' soles! those with eyes to see... those with ears to hear... know that we are still here! |
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Wed, June 28, 2006 - 10:06 PM
heartfelt thanks
I truly appreciate all of your comments. I take from them inspiration and support.
There is a difference between time shared in person and time shared virtually or just existentially. I am too far away and too be able to work physically on the same task with any of you and that is only part of the frustration. Actually building teams focused on a common task is always difficult unless the team members have common goals to begin with. BTW B your poetry is spot on. So in honor of the playfulness that should always accompany any serious endeavor I have a surprise for all of you in my next blog entry. Just remember that no good deed goes unpunished. |
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Tue, August 15, 2006 - 10:58 PM
There are many of us who feel alone in our thoughts and musings, dissatisfied the way things are going, but we are not alone.
What matters distance? We can reach and touch in love yet be far away. Thoughts and ideas feels nothing for distance. Paradox only exist in the reasoning mind, but we live with it anyway. |
