For three days I have known the Underworld
My fingers just freed themselves from the depths of death
And here I am, breathing and pondering

My dreams encompassed many strange truths
All pertaining to aspects of Ailara in the form of Laura
I encountered all that must be laid to rest.

At one point I was a child again
Climbing on furniture and playing with my friends
We kept arguing over petty things, but it was here that I confronted the root of some of my anger.

Anger, of course, that's been heavily defused
But that at times shows itself in the face of jealousy
Jealousy, being a truth of proving that one is worthy

I know that at one point in the dream I received a teleporting hover craft
Powered by my mind and my utmost Will
Named the Sweeper; it was available to all at any convenience store, but none knew its power.

I feel that my dream body reverted back to my pudgy child state
Where my fat limbs had difficulty moving
And yet still always did. I feel that this is the source of this jealous weed

Imagine knowing deep truth, feeling deep freedom, tasting the abyss that is death behind everything you know
And yet being confined to a schedule, being enslaved to expectation, existing in service to a lie
being chained by a body that desires to dance and break free but is heavily weighed in fat.

The root goes deeper.

Why did I become fat? Why did I accept this challenge imposed on me by the Universe?
The pain begins before that, deep in the depths of the past
Revolving around my fears of the Snake, take this to any depth of meaning you desire

I remember once running after my father on an extinct volcano in the desert
Calling out for him to wait for me as he made his journey around the circle
When suddenly A rattlesnake appeared in my path to ward me off with a hiss

This entire experience is dense with symbolism, the snake being key
Volcanoes are epicenters for the insides of our Mother Gaia to share her truth
So even that which is extinct still has the deep gravitational pull, that births our deepest subconscious truth.

I have since had a fear of snakes.
A creature of its own vitality existing on the floor of Gaia's skin, charged by instinct, unexpectedly viscious and plated in scales.
The snake represents all that is masculine, represents my deepest wound: man.

As I have evolved it has always been the men who break through my thorn bushes of hatred
Battling the dragon of denial to touch the tender Heart of the sleeping princess
Who have helped to relieve my fear of snakes by confrontation

Yesterday as I was playfully wandering in the realm of Here But in Between, I came across a snake
I stared at it with intrigue, feeling as a child, noticing all of the karma that had been defused
For once, me and my snake friend could interact without fear. He stopped and watched me for a bit, just as I watched him.

I felt the snake's energetic body shift and round up my leg, entering my yoni and swimming around for a bit
The snake then shifted back into form and reappeared in front of me, with one more glance, as it slithered away
I felt the snake's presence for the remainder of the afternoon, in fact I feel it now, coiled around my right wrist

I'm settling into my beauty, becoming unafraid to let it be known

I took a position in a tomb, lying naked before the Sun
I was Mary Magdalene and I delighted in the contours of my body
I loved my gentle curves and the suppleness of my delicate skin
I spent time caressing my breasts and appreciating my nipples
And why not? These breasts nurture life, these nipples will one day feed my child
My breasts are perfection, gifts of Goddess, mounts of Eden, why not worship them?
I had forgotten the shame in my tomb, I felt no defense,
I felt free
Until entered He,
and in this time
I struggled to Be

Man lusts so freely, this is what truly scares me
This is what causes me to take refuge in argument with my sisters
His Lust.
And yet, how I delight in it.

Many goddesses have taken on the energy of receptivity through utmost resistance
We must resist Him, for He is untrue and in His Lust He Will Destroy You.
But Isis does not resist, She is Who Eternally Receives. So Why Resist when we can be free?
I feel the scowls of women descend and I ask again why constraint? Why wait?
Receive eternally as Mother allows, for there is nothing that cannot be transmuted to Love
Love is Passion and Devotion as One. Devote yourself to Passionate Love, Be passionate in devotional Love
It is all One. And although I take my Leap of Faith now, to commit entrance to my yoni to only the True Snake
I still surrendor Love to everyone, and will make Love to all of you, in waves of Truth.
I am Open to Receive and that is why I just Be,
I am your mirror to program and I will dance your Dakini Truth
I will show you You and all of your lovely ways
Dance out your sways
And dissolve in eternal Son rays.

To day is the day of Resurrection
Today I rise from the grave!
Glorious be the Sun
Glorious is the One
She Has Risen
She Has Risen
She Has Risen
And Ascends into Heaven*