Musings and wonderings

Archery and World Team Trials!

Lee — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 16:22:00 GMT

It's been so long since I've posted on tribe, I'm sure you're wondering if I'm alive! I am and doing well and shooting great! Just had the US World Outdoor Team Trials and I posted a score that was 264 points higher than my last big competition, which is a huge jump. I am now about 65 points away from being able to join the Paralympic team, provided that when I get evaluated that I am crippled enough. Can you imagine worrying about not being handicapped enough?! Too weird! I'm trying to get to the Olympic Training Center for the next training camp with the Paralympians and created a chipin.com site to help defray costs. Please share the link with all your friends in the digital world. If everyone I know, and 1 person that they know, all contribute just a buck, I'll have plenty of money for equipment, travel, entrances fees, and training time that I could possibly need! I'm working hard, shooting great and even getting the National Head Coach's attention! Not too shabby for a cripple girl!! smooches Lee

Selling my weekend pass to TribalCon

Lee — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:36:20 GMT

My eye has decided to hemorrhage this week so I need to take it easy and not overdo it. I have archery nationals too, and am vending and performing at the show so something has to give. I really am afraid of going blind so just trying to de-stress about this weekend. The weekend pass is $285 and you can paypal Ziah@tribalcom.com and let her know what it is for. It's first come first served, so email her first to see if someone has beaten you to the punch. I really can't keep up with who is doing what, check in with Ziah, stress levels must go down.

My first robin hood

Lee — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:52:34 GMT

It's just silly, too, since I was doing blind bale shots in my condo. Blind bale is when you stand about 6 feet away from the target, just far enough that you don't hit the arrows with your stabilizer, and close your eyes and just feel the shot in your body. Works on your form. Am supposed to do 50 per night, which I did last night. The picture happened on #50 last night! Down to 8 arrows now. I need new arrows to get to 70 meters but was hoping to have enough to last until spring while we are still shooting indoor. oh well! Coach says it's means I'm getting better, but gosh! Every time that happens I lose 2 arrows! ;D

Today's Archery Results

Lee — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 05:05:27 GMT

I beat my personal best score with a 441 and won 1st place. Was really only competing against myself, but really happy with how I shot today. I'm exhausted from shooting and all the driving. My string fingers are killing me. I'm going to bed with my medal. ;D

What the fuh?

Lee — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 02:33:54 GMT

So it's another year, I'm finally back on tribe, the love of my life left me since he was crazy, I've been spending a lot of time alone, and a lot of time with my girlfriends too. Makes me wonder if I'm not better off alone, just me and the kiddo. I've got my archery, that should be enough. My archery, you ask? Yes, my archery! I love my bow, I love my archery club, I like tournaments and shooting. I want to be a world class archer and my coach says I'm going to be a great archer someday. I really want it, too. If I can't make the Olympics, there's always the Paralympics for my crippled ass. I've only been shooting seriously about 6 months, but my coach has faith in me and calls me a competitive archer now. I really am going all the way. Next stop, Las Vegas for the World Archery Festival. Stop by the Riviera if you're in town. ;D Still, I wish I had someone to share my dreams with, who believed in me and supported me. It's hard doing everything all by yourself. Shelby says that I'm the best mom in the world and I love her to death. Just want more. Maybe I'm asking too much. Oh well, time to shoot some arrows here in the condo....

Tribal Carnivale

Lee — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 16:29:40 GMT

This is a show my friends are putting on and it should be awesome! www.redlightcafe.com www.awalim.com October 18, 9pm

Beer, Bow, Bellydancing & FIre!

Lee — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 17:15:41 GMT

The event was a smash!! Please check out the fun pix and video! Remember that you can still contribute to the fund via paypal to flamegoddess (at) gmail (dot) com!! Thanks so much to Christy and Doug for use of their house and wonderful photography! http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=42917351 http://picasaweb.google.com/flamegoddess/PartyWithAPoint#

The archery fundraiser is on for Sept 13!

Lee — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 18:34:30 GMT

Here's the link to the evite: Click on the evite link and get the scoop!! http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?event=CXESHKGQPPWCJBDWPSUC&inviteId=BKRVGNZPTBTGNNLPSDQQ&showResponse=&sortOrder=&responseToExpand=yes Please check it out!!

Archery fundraiser - Beer, Bow and Fire!!

Lee — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:26:35 GMT

Does anyone have any ideas on a place to throw a small to middlin' party, with belly dancers, fire performers, dance artists and archers? The two places that I was looking at for a fundraiser to help me purchase my new bow have fallen through. Any homes or places of business open to a party with a point? Please email me at flamegoddess at gmail dot com! The date was set for September 13 and I'd like to stay with that date if possible!!

Archery, archery, archery!!

Lee — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 21:15:34 GMT

So I've had my second competition and we've come to realize that I need to get my own bow. I did pretty well in practice at 60 yards (aka55 meters) but when the rain moved in and I needed to move my sight to compensate for the water in the air and on my arrows, I couldn't do it, the sight couldn't go any further or it would have impeded the arrow on its way off the bow. The bow I'm borrowing is great, really nice and is a good indoor bow, but its poundage is too low for those really long distances that I have to shoot. My coach says that if I am going to shoot professionally, then I need a professional bow. Which is kind of hard to accomplish when your daughter is outgrowing YOUR clothes and shoes and needs new everything. And with the break-up, I'm wiped out. So some of my teammates suggested a fundraiser. They said that I should tell people that they can send donations to my paypal account, flamegoddess at gmail dot com and then use that money to throw a big fundraiser party, have a silent auction for belly dance and fire shows and whatever stuff people would donate. Do you think that would work? I would need a place to hold the party, and maybe get a keg or something. Have someone spin some great music to dance and spin fire to, maybe be able to be outdoors and indoors with weather being so weird. And I have no idea how to throw a party. I didn't even have a housewarming, its so intimidating for me. But they thought that a lot of archers would come to see bellydancers and fire performers and they burners and boogie-people would love an excuse for a party and that would help me raise the $600 to $800 a bow would cost. So, if anyone is reading this, help!! Help me line up a place to have it, what sort of preparations need to be made, stuff or services to donate to a silent auction. I am really motivated to become a good archer, this is something that I'll be able to still do when I wind up in that wheelchair I sense is on my horizon someday, and who knows, maybe my Olympic dreams that were dashed when speed skating didn't work out because of my Crohn's Disease could be realized after all! Maybe sometime in the fall we can all get together and have fun, make some art and fire and dance happen and help a girl get a sexy new weapon!! ;D

Coming back to default reality

Lee — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:52:20 GMT

I have to say that T4mus 08 was probably my best burn ever, short of my first time on playa. It was very free, open, loving and fun! Exactly what I needed. I had time to think about what is going on in my life, I was able to re-connect with friends and extended family that I haven't seen in a while, and I also got to spend time with ATL folks that I just don't spend enough time with. I had time to realize what it is I want in life. Thanks to all the wonderful citizens of Mysteria that made my burn so wonderful!! Conclave rocked, the lake was superbly cool and the effigy burn was so amazing. It looked like a hershey's kiss made of fire. Mmmm, fire and chocolate, is there anything better?

Georgia Games -Olympic Recurve Archer division

Lee — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:54:09 GMT

So I'm going to do my first archery tournament, at the Georgia Games of all places!! I'm so not ready, but the experience will be good for me. Keep me in mind on Saturday and hope and pray I don't embarrass myself!! This is my first step (other than ruthlessly cleaning and organizing my house) toward my new future, whatever that may be.

A beautiful review of my Saturday performance

Lee — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 16:01:21 GMT

Not sure where it was published, but the lovely Sukari emailed it to me: Lee, Atlanta's Flame Goddess, came to stage with her veiled poi. Wearing gold brocade print with matching palliates on her headband, bra and belt she whirled those props around that stage spinning gracefully. I really enjoyed it. She has such control when performing these pieces…its really impressive…different in the sense that-not everyone is doing this. While her Poi presentation is very modern it does pay homage to the sister dances of Raqs done in many parts of Asia (particularly the South East…&surrounding islands) perfect for a TEC event.

Forlorn, it's a good word

Lee — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:50:46 GMT

Brent picked another humdinger of a fight with me last night. I don't know why, he's leaving in a couple days, what difference does it make?!? I paid his f'ing bills, am stuck with the engagement ring, paid for his hunt lease so he could get out of town and bring food home, and now he's taking the freezer and the meat with him. I really can't take his crap anymore!! The video camera that his parents gave US for Xmas is now his, and the computer crap that I bought to download video to the computer, I just gave him, because I give up. I give the fuck up! He calls me selfish because I wanted him to help pay his own way, because I didn't make him feel like a king or whatever it is that he wanted. He is the one who didn't want to try to make Atlanta his home, he didn't want to make friends, or start his classes up, or do anything, but it's all my fault. How can I trust anyone after this?! He knew that I had trust issues going into this. I just see my last chance at having kids going down the drain, when I worked so hard to get him help. He finally agreed to counseling but to prove that he wanted to do it, all he had to do was give me his insurance card so I could find out about benefits and stuff. I was going to do all the legwork, like I take care of every other thing for him. One thing, just give me the card, but for months he wouldn't even do that. I'm done, I just really want to give up on everything. I'm broke, used up and fucked over!! I have nothing but bills and a hole in my heart to show for this relationship. I am so fucking stupid.

To go or not to go

Lee — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:43:37 GMT

I am just so exhausted with all the turmoil and upheaval in my life right now. Brent will be moving back to Florida in about a week. Who knows if my boss is going to keep working with his cancer coming back or if he'll keep the firm open. I was so upset about T4mus and their abrupt change in their age policy. Brent thinks I should go but his advice isn't exactly anything that I want to hear right now. But Shelby telling me that I should go made me think about it again. I mean, she's the one being excluded here. I really need to learn from her innocence and selflessness. Or maybe she's planning on twisting her dad around her little finger! ;D I have to think about it some more, I really wanted to have that time with her, showing her the wonders of a Burn, playing in the lake, seeing if I could get her to stay awake long enough to see the effigy burn. But then I realized that what Caroleena said was valid, about waiting so long to go and re-connecting with people that I haven't seen in so long and who knows if there will be another T4mus. I don't know, the emotional upheaval of the past month, with Brent and I not getting married and him deciding to move back, work being so weird with the new attorney, its been a real strain. Maybe I reacted from my pain and anger at everything and need to remember rolling with the punches. I'm still upset for all the adults who have been summarily discriminated against, consent-age adults who won't be bringing their camps and energy and enthusiasm to Mysteria. Maybe I can effect change from within...

How do you pick up the pieces?

Lee — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:22:23 GMT

It's official now, my fiance is moving back to Florida. He just hates Atlanta, he's got show opportunities back home, his good friend just died and he's worried that his dad will soon. But he doesn't want me to move. Says it wouldn't be good for me. I've worked so hard on this relationship, read books, asked for guidance, tried my damnedest to get him to be happy when all he did was pick fights and get angry. I spent tons of money on him, supported him, paid for his hunt lease and now I just feel used. I'm numb. I took a huge chance on him after dealing with gregor and he knew that. Brent knew that I had been through horrible shit and promised that he would never do anything like that but here he is breaking my heart. I can't go through this again. I just can't!! I will never let anyone into my heart again, because it seems that I only pick assholes. I don't trust myself to care anymore. This is it, I'm ready to be a crone now. I'll dedicate myself to making sure my daughter is happy and no one else, not even myself. There's no point. I've gone from planning for a wedding and hoping for another child to devastation. What did I do to deserve this?!?! He says he loves me and always will but the combination of everything just makes him need to go home. Just say you don't love me and get the fuck out! Why the games? I can't do this anymore.

PIctures of veil poi are up...

Lee — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 02:38:18 GMT

I made some pretties!! Tell me what you think... Any color combination is possible, I love working with all the colors. Flag poi pictures are coming soon!

Chattanooga/Ringgold Underground Oasis

Lee — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:56:38 GMT

Wow!! All I can say about the wonderful people in Ringgold and Chattanooga who made this little firefreak feel right at home!! Everyone was so cool, so welcoming and that audience!! All the screaming just made me get even more stupid and in the zone! My thanks to Jillanna for setting up such a cool show and for setting up the workshops all at the same time, and for putting me up for the night! Thanks to Timothy, Leslie and Jennifer for their help with the show. Thanks to such beauties as Mahsati and Desiree for being hot and making me feel so welcome. Thanks to Sean and Brandon for helping me move stuff and many thanks to Mike and Lisa for their wonderful drumming!! So hopefully I will be appearing in Asheville in the near future and teaching there. And Richmond, VA is still in my uncertain future. Florida is looking like a real possibility too. I hope to be in the show at Southern Fusion Fest and do some voi. Working on getting my name back out there, one beautiful city at a time.

Underground Oasis - Morbid Cabaret

Lee — Fri, 30 May 2008 20:57:31 GMT

Yeah all, I'm doing some poi and choreography workshops in Chattanooga, TN this weekend and performing in a delightfully dark show Saturday night. Here's the info: http://www.merrybellies.com/underground_oasis2008.htm Hope you can make it out if you can!! smooches FlameGoddess Lee

Jillanna in Chattagnooga is so cool!

Lee — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:06:14 GMT

She's putting me in her event in May and I'm going to perform and teach workshops too!! Poi and dance theory. Check out her site, very cool, dark and handsome! http://www.merrybellies.com/underground_oasis2008.htm

Poi workshop - Thank You!!

Lee — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 01:54:50 GMT

I just want to thank everyone who came the workshop!!! We filled the studio completely and had a great time connecting and learning new things. Pictures by Mickey (see my friends list) should be up soon, and I for one can't wait to see them. Thank you again!! I had so much fun sharing with such beautiful people today!! smooches Lee

Only a week till the workshop...

Lee — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:57:47 GMT

And I'm getting so excited! The hand painted flags and veils are just stunning! Nothing moves like silk does. Did a showing at Bitch HQ last night and they were very well received. Also got schooled on not undervaluing myself. Hard lesson to learn but probably one of the most valuable. Spaces are filling fast for the workshop, getting offers from faraway lands to do ones there, I tell you, it feels good to get out and do my thing and feel like I'm making real contribution. Feels really! So here's the info on the class again, I appreciate everyone spreading the word like they have. I am truly blessed and am working on expressing gratitude to the Sacred every day! Repost: Poi for Belly Dancers workshop on Saturday, April 5, 2008 at Jai Shanti Yoga at 2:30 in the afternoon. We're going to be covering glow poi, flag poi, veil poi, and last but not least, fire poi and how they can be used by the modern belly dancer. This class is appropriate for cabaret, tribal, or my personal favorite, tribaret dancers. Non-belly dancing poi dancers will also be accommodated as poi principles, dance theory and fire safety will also be covered. The class will be a $35 donation, payable on PayPal to flamegoddess@gmail.com Glow poi and silk flag poi will be for sale, or you can pre-order a set. Email me at flamegoddess@gmail.com for more information! Reserve a space now, the day of the workshop it will be first come, first served. Jai Shanti Yoga is a beautiful yoga studio in the heart of Candler Park, close to public transportation, Little 5 Points and Candler Park Village. Their website is www.jaishantiyoga.com for directions and other class times.

Happy Ostara!!

Lee — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:40:15 GMT

Happy Spring Equinox, first day of spring and you can just feel the magic in the air, inspiring creativity and fecundity of all kinds!! Enjoy the pic!

Take a test

Lee — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:32:07 GMT

Got this from my friend Joyce: Below is Dr. Phil's test . (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah - she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out! The person who posted it placed their score in the subject box. Make sure to post this in your blog and change the subject of the post to read YOUR total when you have finished. It's only 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each question. Answers are for who you are now --- not who you were in the past. Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Ready?? Begin. 1. When do you feel your best? A) in the morning B) during the afternoon and early evening C) late at night 2. You usually walk... A) fairly fast, with long steps B) fairly fast, with little steps C) less fast head up, looking the world in the face D) less fast, head down E) very slowly 3. When talking to people you. . A) stand with your arms folded B) have your hands clasped C) have one or both your hands on your hips D) touch or push the person to whom you are talking E) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair 4. When relaxing, you sit with. A) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side B) your legs crossed C) your legs stretched out or straight D) one leg curled under you 5. When something really amuses you, you react with... A) big appreciated laugh B) a laugh, but not a loud one C) a quiet chuckle D) a sheepish smile 6. When you go to a party or social gathering you... A) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you B) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know C) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed 7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted.. A) welcome the break B) feel extremely irritated C) vary between these two extremes 8. Which of the following colors do you like most? A) Red or orange B) black C) yellow or light blue D) green E) dark blue or purple F) white G) brown or gray 9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are... A) stretched out on your back B) stretched out face down on your stomach C) on your side, slightly curled D) with your head on one arm E) with your head under the covers 10. You often dream that you are... A) falling B) fighting or struggling C) searching for something or somebody D) flying or floating E) you usually have dreamless sleep F) your dreams are always pleasant POINTS: > 1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6 > 2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c ) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1 > 3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6 > 4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1 > 5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2 > 6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2 > 7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4 > 8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1 > 9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1 > 10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1 Now add up the total number of points. OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should 'handle with care.' You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you. 51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate. 41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out. 31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken. 21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature. UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you’re boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Is it time for Spring yet?

Lee — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:57:25 GMT

What a change in my life lately. Have been working on my workshop and getting new ideas for making poi and holy moly, silk painting is an amazing creative outlet!! I'm going into full production, just to see all the wonderful and beautiful things I can make. Brent and I are better than ever, a real sea change in our relationship. Shelby is getting so tall and even had a boy from her class ask her out to the movies. I'm not sure I'm ready for that! Work is crazy busy but having my own cases is really teaching me so much. There is just so much going on. I'm feeling so much better, back-wise, and my bad leg is getting there. Although it seems to act up more when I'm more active. Just the price I'll have to pay in order to get better I guess. I ran a 5K with my daughter on Saturday (and we even finished with respectable times for a kid and a crippled lady), I'm sewing and painting and creating things. Spring is a week away and I can feel the new beginnings just waiting to burst forth. I'm actually happy! Brent and I changed the date for our handfasting to the fall, our colors will look better in the fall, we'll have more time to save up, and we decided to do it here in town. Can't afford a big fancy thing, but we want something meaningful. We have all these ideas for business opportunities that will hopefully make us more financially secure. We talk on such deeper levels now, I'm so in love with my fiance! Great Goddess, I'm happy! Happy Ostara!