joined on 03/27/05
last updated 04/09/07
about me
39 yo Mexican/Italian dude. 6'1', 235, hairy, big feet! Got a good sense of humor, spiritual, very outdoorsy, can be quiet and deep in thought sometimes, very creative & a writer. Love good discussion. Oh yeah and hella good sex and a lot of it.
December 27, 2005
A naked soul baring it all for the Love of y'ALL! it is true-ly a blessing to know he exsists and takes right action to life.!.
JBRAP10.tipod.com
December 8, 2005
Such an amazing man. I never know where to start or where to end with the compliments about him. Inside and out an incredible man. I look forward to getting to know him more and more over the years to come.
November 29, 2005
This guy feels like home, he feels like the comfort of homemade biscuits you sop in jelly and butter or mama and auntie nem's fried chicken with some and don't forget tortillas and ceviche for extra spice. Lorenzo es muy caliente!! En Fuego!!!....He adds so much to the tribe and to the Universe I am finding out his energy is what draws me to him like a magnet...
Like a moth to a flame Papito!!
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I am a survivor....I have managed to now come to the age of 45. I have always been one to make some real good friends in life, from the age of two until just this year and I am fortunate enough to be able to count them as close friends to this day. As I recall the early days of my adult life, though, nearly all of the amazing men that helped me come out and become the man I am today are dead. They are dead of AIDS.
I remember when I was just 16 years old, I was at a friend of my mother's. They were talking in another room and I was the bored teenager that we all are at 16; trapped with two women on a weekend afternoon. I saw Rolling Stone magazine on her coffee table. There was something about this AIDS epidemic in the magazine. I knew that I was gay, always knew, but kept it deeply inside me and scared to death that someone was going to find out.
I picked up that magazine and was horrified to read about this disease that was killing all these gay men. I did not know what to do. I buried it further inside of me. Knowing that if anyone found out then I would be kicked out of my family and left to die in the streets. If it was in Rolling Stone then it had to be true.
But God has a way of being sure that we all be who we are meant to be......The first time I kissed a boy I knew that this was who I was and had to be that no matter what.
The last time my friend Michael ever left his house before he died, it was with me. I drove his new car that he was too sick to drive to Macy's at Serramonte Mall in Daly City. He was so frail that I pretty much had to carry him from department to department so he could point to things that he wanted me to get for him. I remember the first time I met him. He was about 5 years older than me, blonde, gorgeous, amazing taste and the finest things I had ever seen. I admired a painting of James Dean that I saw the first time I went to his apartment. He said he would leave it to me when he died, then we both laughed. He became infected with HIV a year later. That painting hangs in my living room today. Thank you, Michael. I love you very much and miss you so much.
And Rob, and Doug and Ron, and Vincent and Miles, and Mark.....and to all those other amazing men who have gone on but have lit the path that we all take day by day, positive or negative.
I have dealt with more death and dying and suffering than all of my elder family combined. And most of this happened before I turned 30. Yet, somehow I have survived and gone on and have thrived and have had a good life.
I am different these days. I see the World differently. I love differently, but still just as deeply. My career is different. I am loving a man who is ten years younger than me and who is in the process of adopting a young son. My man is positive. Things change and things stay the same.
A man that I once loved is about to die. We had an amazing, crazy and tumultuous relationship. We got married on a whim and I took his name, much to my family's shock and horror. :) He was a tortured artist who taught me many things about love and passion and heartbreak and survival.
Armor that I wear on my 45 year old soul that provides wisdom and protection from the day-to-day bullshit that seems to consume society these days. Things that I will need to step into the role of papi that I was worked towards all my life.
Thank you friends, lovers and men whom I have known, laughed with and fucked. You all are remembered this day and know that my experience of all of you stays with me today and forever. You will always be loved and cherished.
Tue, December 4, 2012 - 12:05 AM
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0 comments
Wow, its been some time since I have been on here. Funny how time can just begin to slip away, spent on other things in life that I suppose that I choose, but posting on tribe is like being home. Its raw and provocative and more real than the voyeurism that seems to be observed at will these days.
Mon, December 3, 2012 - 11:27 PM
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There is nothing exquisite
about you and me
lost yesterdays
a Love that withered
on the wings
of a wind blowing south
The laughter
the sly smiles
the back of the Chevy
fade like the
brilliant colors of
autumn.
There is nothing exquisite
about
me not being able
to touch you
your body
your soul
How could I be so careless.
with my life?
How could I not?
Thu, November 22, 2007 - 9:05 PM
permalink -
0 comments
In a strange house,
a strange bed
in a strange town,
a very strange me
is waiting for you.
Now
it is very early in the morning.
The silence is loud.
The baby is walking about
with his foaming bottle,
making strange sounds
and deciding, after all,
to be my friend.
You
arrive tonight.
How dull time is!
How empty-and yet,
since I am sitting here,
lying here,
walking up and down here,
waiting,
I see
that time's cruel ability
to make one wait
is time's reality.
I see your hair
which I call red.
I lie here in this bed.
Someone teasted me once,
a friend of ours-
saying that I saw your hair red
because I was not thinking
of the hair on your head.
Someone also told me,
a long time ago:
my father said to me,
It is a terrible thing,
son,
to fall into the hands of the living God.
Now,
I know what he was saying.
I could not have seen red
before finding myself
in this strange, this waiting bed.
Nor had my naked eye suggested
that colour was created
by the light falling, now,
on me,
in this strange bed,
waiting
where no one has ever rested!
The streets, I observe,
are wintry.
It feels like snow.
Starlings circle in the sky,
conspiring,
together, and alone,
unspeakable journeys
into and out of the light.
I know
I will see you tonight.
And snow
may fall
enough to freeze our tongues
and scald our eyes.
We may never be found again!
Just as the birds above our heads
circling
are singing,
knowing
that, in what lies before them,
the always unknown passage,
wind, water, air,
the failing light
the falling night
the blinding sun
they must get the journey done.
Listen.
They have winds and voices
are making choices
are using what they have.
They are aware
that, on long journeys,
each bears the other,
whirring,
stirring
love occuring
in the middle of the terrifying air.
Wed, November 14, 2007 - 5:16 PM
permalink -
1 comment
Shit...what a month. Not on here much these days for sure. Don't look like much is goin on in Tribe anyways. School, school, school. The sacrifices for education. I have been interviewing for jobs here in DC for my externship at a restaurant. I have one on Friday for Wolfgang Puck's new joint, Source that just opened up. Should be a good gig if I get it. I NEED to be workin right now for sure. My budget for school has been blown now. Sometimes I ask myself if I am doin the right thing. I friggin love what I do now and I am sure but it sure is hard sometimes. Some days the only thing that gets me goin is music. I have to listen to what I got though cause there is no dinero for new music cept for the occasional splurge at I-tunes. Just splurged and got India Arie's..."ready for love". what a song. Yeah, I am datin here n there but to be honest that takes bucks too. I just need to get laid. My mind goes into the nether places when I am too focused on shit.
Wed, November 14, 2007 - 5:03 PM
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0 comments
For “L”
By The Literary Masturbator™
His skin is soft like butter and the color of a flour tortilla
Papito you gotta know, at this point a brotha is feelin’ ya
His voice soft and smooth, his eyes soulful and brown
He possesses the energy of a man who is experienced in the art of gettin’ down
The magnetism that draws me to you is born in our ancestry
We are descendants of African and Aztec Warriors, farm laborers and those forced into slavery
By our very existence we build a link between traditions shared by many
Our peoples have been called wetbacks, cans, jiggaboo, and pickaninny
Yet we stand proud of our heritage and fully embracing and celebrating our culture
Same gender loving men determined to fulfill destinies and help build for the future
Will you take my hand and embark with me on this journey?
Wherever the road leads with you by my side is where I want to be
! Dia De Los Muertos,
!Majestic Mexico!,
**Disgruntled Restaurant Workers**,
- ★ M4M THE DEEP KISS ★,
- ★ Black guys are Hot ★,
- ★ Latin man Vibes ★,
-- Double Stuffed --,
-- Self Service --,
AFRO FUNKE' - weekly funk invocation.,
Afro-Latin [ Afro Diaspora ] Tribe,
Baltimore / DC Gay Boys,
baltimore cumdumps,
Barebacking Men of Maryland,
Barrio Chicano,
Biracial/Multiracial Folks,
Boys4Daddies,
Brother Lovers,
ChefNOW! Talk,
Chefs,
Colored Queers,
...
Reflections of World Aids Day...
(blog entry)
I am a survivor....I have managed to now come to the age of 45. I have always been one to make some real good friends in life, from the age of two until just this year and I am fortunate enough to be able to count them as close friends to this da...
read more
Has it been that long?
(blog entry)
Wow, its been some time since I have been on here. Funny how time can just begin to slip away, spent on other things in life that I suppose that I choose, but posting on tribe is like being home. Its raw and provocative and more real than the voye...
read more
Nothing exquisite
(blog entry)
There is nothing exquisite
about you and me
lost yesterdays
a Love that withered
on the wings
of a wind blowing south
The laughter
the sly smiles
the back of the Chevy
fade like the
brilliant colors of
autumn.
There is nothing ex...
read more
Munich, Winter...James Baldwin, 1973
(blog entry)
In a strange house,
a strange bed
in a strange town,
a very strange me
is waiting for you.
Now
it is very early in the morning.
The silence is loud.
The baby is walking about
with his foaming bottle,
making strange sounds
and decidi...
read more
School Daze......
(blog entry)
Shit...what a month. Not on here much these days for sure. Don't look like much is goin on in Tribe anyways. School, school, school. The sacrifices for education. I have been interviewing for jobs here in DC for my externship at a restaurant. I ha...
read more
No one is 'illegal'-Please call today.......
(blog entry)
NCLR Alert: ACTION NEEDED IMMEDIATELY on DREAM Act!
NCLR Alert: ACTION NEEDED IMMEDIATELY on DREAM Act!
Take Action!
Two Minutes to Help Immigrant Children!
The following is an urgent alert from our friends at the National Immigration La...
read more
SOOOOOOOOOOO... am a Chicano! Glad I figured that out!
(blog entry)
THE BELLINGHAM HERALD
Sep, 24, 2007
CULTURE
Hispanic, Latino or Chicano?
No single term defines ethnic groups
SERGE GIACHETTI
While Whatcom County groups plan events to mark Hispanic Heritage Month,
not everyone thinks the month is ...
read more
Fall is shown up
(blog entry)
Well, after a storm last night, the weather has changed at last. I am bittersweet. We are finally in the 80's from the upper 90's-100's for months. It felt as if I were home in the bay area again. The change of seasons are upon me again and it r...
read more
Prayers
(blog entry)
Please, please say a prayer for my ese, Kengi. He needs them these days for his journey. Please also pray for the indigineous people of Central America and Mexico who were unable to flee from the hurricaine that has just made landfall there. Thes...
read more
¡Nunca arquearemos abajo!
(blog entry)
Alberto Gonzalez ha traicionado a su gente! Él merece ser castigado por sus crímenes y lo ruego nunca me reclino otra vez. Soy cansado de los americanos que nos tratan como no pertenecemos aquí. ¡Mire alrededor y vea quiénes ahora son los esclavos...
read more
Top Chef....wtf?
(blog entry)
I am in shock that Tre got the boot on Top Chef. It is the one night a week that I actually watch some tv and to see this talented and hella sexy man get booted just sucks. I cannot figure it out. You got all these whiny bitches on there who canno...
read more
I (heart) NY!
(blog entry)
Well, got to NYC yesterday to see some family and kick it for the week. I am stayin in Midtown (Hell's Kitchen) with my uncle and have been at his yoga studio in SOHO today. Off to get some lunch and check out the fine, let me say, FINE ass brotha...
read more
Outfest concert
(blog entry)
Well-checked out the outfest concert last night here in DC. Margaret Cho is the fuckin bomb! Laughed my ass off. I was more into other music in the 80's but Erasure was good and Cindy Lauper rocked! It was friggin gay central out there and there w...
read more
Star Wars-30 years later
(blog entry)
Well, there I was, a snot nosed 10 year old kid in Santa Clara, California. This 'Star Wars' movie opens and I see the ads on TV. It was playin a couple miles away at the Century theaters. I was in shock....so me & my friends at the time got a rid...
read more
Spring is here
(blog entry)
After a grueling winter in DC, today was finally a beautiful day. It has lifted my spirits to see the sun at last and I feel a new sense of hope. I am having such a hard time lately with what is going on...the shootings at Va Tech have affected me...
read more
WHO IS RUNNIN THE COUNTRY??
(blog entry)
can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 11...
read more
The Chicanos are coming (home)......head for the hills!
(blog entry)
Joe R. Feagin
excerpted Wrom: VCJVTLBXFGGMEPYOQKEDOTWFAOBUZXUWLS Mexican Americans: Rethinking the "Black-white Paradigm", 54 Rutgers Law Review 959-987, 957-965 (Summer 2002) (154 Footnotes Omitted)
In May 1990, three white men in suburban ...
read more
Where am I?
(blog entry)
My soul feels invisible.
Immigrants are NOT the enemy!!
(blog entry)
3/7: NEW BEDFORD MIGRANT WORKERS ARE NOT THE ENEMY
Released 07 March 2007 By Boston May Day Coalition
NEW BEDFORD MIGRANT WORKERS ARE NOT THE ENEMY
Massachusetts, March 7, 2007. An army of 300 federal immigration agents from the U.S. Immi...
read more
Finally found a church
(blog entry)
I attended my first serivce of City of Refuge DC yesterday. I had an amazing experience and was filled with the spirit and heard the message. It has been quite a while since I have been to church and miss my church in SF. This is actually an offsh...
read more
Reflections of World Aids Day...
(blog entry)
I am a survivor....I have managed to now come to the age of 45. I have always been one to make some real good friends in life, from the age of two until just this year and I am fortunate enough to be able to count them as close friends to this da...
read more
Has it been that long?
(blog entry)
Wow, its been some time since I have been on here. Funny how time can just begin to slip away, spent on other things in life that I suppose that I choose, but posting on tribe is like being home. Its raw and provocative and more real than the voye...
read more
Nothing exquisite
(blog entry)
There is nothing exquisite
about you and me
lost yesterdays
a Love that withered
on the wings
of a wind blowing south
The laughter
the sly smiles
the back of the Chevy
fade like the
brilliant colors of
autumn.
There is nothing ex...
read more
Munich, Winter...James Baldwin, 1973
(blog entry)
In a strange house,
a strange bed
in a strange town,
a very strange me
is waiting for you.
Now
it is very early in the morning.
The silence is loud.
The baby is walking about
with his foaming bottle,
making strange sounds
and decidi...
read more
School Daze......
(blog entry)
Shit...what a month. Not on here much these days for sure. Don't look like much is goin on in Tribe anyways. School, school, school. The sacrifices for education. I have been interviewing for jobs here in DC for my externship at a restaurant. I ha...
read more
No one is 'illegal'-Please call today.......
(blog entry)
NCLR Alert: ACTION NEEDED IMMEDIATELY on DREAM Act!
NCLR Alert: ACTION NEEDED IMMEDIATELY on DREAM Act!
Take Action!
Two Minutes to Help Immigrant Children!
The following is an urgent alert from our friends at the National Immigration La...
read more
SOOOOOOOOOOO... am a Chicano! Glad I figured that out!
(blog entry)
THE BELLINGHAM HERALD
Sep, 24, 2007
CULTURE
Hispanic, Latino or Chicano?
No single term defines ethnic groups
SERGE GIACHETTI
While Whatcom County groups plan events to mark Hispanic Heritage Month,
not everyone thinks the month is ...
read more
Fall is shown up
(blog entry)
Well, after a storm last night, the weather has changed at last. I am bittersweet. We are finally in the 80's from the upper 90's-100's for months. It felt as if I were home in the bay area again. The change of seasons are upon me again and it r...
read more
Prayers
(blog entry)
Please, please say a prayer for my ese, Kengi. He needs them these days for his journey. Please also pray for the indigineous people of Central America and Mexico who were unable to flee from the hurricaine that has just made landfall there. Thes...
read more
¡Nunca arquearemos abajo!
(blog entry)
Alberto Gonzalez ha traicionado a su gente! Él merece ser castigado por sus crímenes y lo ruego nunca me reclino otra vez. Soy cansado de los americanos que nos tratan como no pertenecemos aquí. ¡Mire alrededor y vea quiénes ahora son los esclavos...
read more
Top Chef....wtf?
(blog entry)
I am in shock that Tre got the boot on Top Chef. It is the one night a week that I actually watch some tv and to see this talented and hella sexy man get booted just sucks. I cannot figure it out. You got all these whiny bitches on there who canno...
read more
I (heart) NY!
(blog entry)
Well, got to NYC yesterday to see some family and kick it for the week. I am stayin in Midtown (Hell's Kitchen) with my uncle and have been at his yoga studio in SOHO today. Off to get some lunch and check out the fine, let me say, FINE ass brotha...
read more
Outfest concert
(blog entry)
Well-checked out the outfest concert last night here in DC. Margaret Cho is the fuckin bomb! Laughed my ass off. I was more into other music in the 80's but Erasure was good and Cindy Lauper rocked! It was friggin gay central out there and there w...
read more
Star Wars-30 years later
(blog entry)
Well, there I was, a snot nosed 10 year old kid in Santa Clara, California. This 'Star Wars' movie opens and I see the ads on TV. It was playin a couple miles away at the Century theaters. I was in shock....so me & my friends at the time got a rid...
read more
Spring is here
(blog entry)
After a grueling winter in DC, today was finally a beautiful day. It has lifted my spirits to see the sun at last and I feel a new sense of hope. I am having such a hard time lately with what is going on...the shootings at Va Tech have affected me...
read more
WHO IS RUNNIN THE COUNTRY??
(blog entry)
can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 11...
read more
The Chicanos are coming (home)......head for the hills!
(blog entry)
Joe R. Feagin
excerpted Wrom: VCJVTLBXFGGMEPYOQKEDOTWFAOBUZXUWLS Mexican Americans: Rethinking the "Black-white Paradigm", 54 Rutgers Law Review 959-987, 957-965 (Summer 2002) (154 Footnotes Omitted)
In May 1990, three white men in suburban ...
read more
Where am I?
(blog entry)
My soul feels invisible.
Immigrants are NOT the enemy!!
(blog entry)
3/7: NEW BEDFORD MIGRANT WORKERS ARE NOT THE ENEMY
Released 07 March 2007 By Boston May Day Coalition
NEW BEDFORD MIGRANT WORKERS ARE NOT THE ENEMY
Massachusetts, March 7, 2007. An army of 300 federal immigration agents from the U.S. Immi...
read more
Finally found a church
(blog entry)
I attended my first serivce of City of Refuge DC yesterday. I had an amazing experience and was filled with the spirit and heard the message. It has been quite a while since I have been to church and miss my church in SF. This is actually an offsh...
read more
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