So I decided to transfer over my Friendster testimonials cause non of my friends will say anything this nice about me twice. :-)
Ric has turned out to be a good friend through situations that would have broken others apart. He is the Lennon to my McCartney as songwriters. I am happy and proud to call him my friend. There's a dead whale on the mountain!
Ricardo is my other half. I think I would seize to exist if Rick wasn't my friend. We've spent the past 16 years of our lives walking all over the city with a brown bag in hand and a smile on our faces. As well as, playing pool at various old man bars. All the while discussing the meaning of life and seeking consul from each other. He has helped me discover who I really am and not to take myself so seriously. He has inspired me beyond belief. I definitely know that I would not be the person I am today with out him. Rick has enabled me to enjoy life and for that I'm for ever indebted to him.
Update: I just finally got through reading the entire "About Me" section above. Have you actually read that shit? Jesus Christ on vegemite-covered toast, this guy can write. And he's totally correct about vegemite, that crap deserves a special spot in Hell's deli.
My mom told me never to trust an ex- con with tattoo sleeves. You know what? In Rick's case she was right fuckin' on. Which just goes to show you, Mom is always right. Always. Anyway, the respect I have for a guy who can write such consistently piss- your-pants funny advertisements for Crumpled Napkin's shows cannot be overestimated. At times he's funnier than Shannon Dery. Stick THAT in your dirty sock and smoke it, beeeeeyatch. Now for a small digression: RICK WITH CHILDREN. OK, nightmare over, continue with your paltry little lives.
Rick is sexy man pizza...now if only I had a good movie and a bottle of red to keep me happy, life would be perfect. He is very endearing and kind. He gives great hugs and boy is he funny....not to mention, he likes to photograph his pee pee. Now, that is a man's man!
Ricardo is this crazy Frank Zappa type rock star dude in some crazy tighty- whiteys. Additionally, he is one of the funniest people I know. He shares my sick obsession with Jerry Springer, especially the incest episodes.
I've known Ric for eleven years.... am I the only living person who hasn't seen his schlong? Ric is so damn unique. So mellow. Yet, as a world traveller, musician, actor and poet... his zest for living and taking on each day to it's fullest, is unmatched. One can only stand back and admire him. The great part (and by GREAT PART, I do not refer to the aformentioned LEGEND between his legs. EDITORS NOTE: a 'legend' is a thing on a map that says 1 inch equals a mile) about Ric is that he comes from the heart-always. You can lay out whatever is really going on with you and he'll listen, smile, and tell you the truth. I don't think I've ever met a less judgmental person, or anyone who made you feel more comfortable to be around. Ric is witty, silly, warm and wise. I'm proud to call him friend. There is no one I know who more richly deserves the happiness he has found... because he passes it on at every chance.
Update: I gave Rick both boobs in both eyes last weekend, plus a little reach- around! Oh yeah, baby! Good times...
Ryan Lee, 07/22/2003:
I'm not saying anything about Rick's nuts. I haven't seen em. But I will tell you that Rick is one of about three people that I work with that don't piss me off, so that's saying something right there. Ask him about his love of Journey, and most importantly, Don't Stop Believin'!!!
Rick has probably the largest balls I will ever see. He once tea bagged this car and it seriously sunk into the ground. I was impressed.
There was this one time when Ricardo was smoking crack. He was having this convo with himself about the validity of surealism in art and life in general. It only lasted about 20 minutes, but to this day he swears that I admitted he was right about something. Crack.
Not so much the life of the party (that's for the guy trying to hard) as the heart of the party. Kooky with rarely a straight answer to be found, he makes the absurd a serious matter. Wildly perceptive (judging by his always cool testimonials)-I can't believe i didn't meet him years ago.
Rick's got this cock, see. And it's accompanied by these two balls. And he puts every ounce of all of them into his music. The dude rocks hard behind a kit, behind a mic, in a fucking tutu, I mean come on! How can you NOT want to like this guy! Yeah, sure, we've only just started crossing paths on any semblance of a regular basis in the last year or so, and yeah, he's probably right, I should be focusing more on my music than I seem to give myself time to do, but you know what? That fucker needs to do the same damn thing. Crumpled Napkin is a one-eyed hunchbacked midget's acid-induced wet dream that would put anything David Lynch might put on screen to shame. I hope I get to cross paths with him and his partners in crime more often. If not for anything else, for that cock...
Yeah, he is still the devil, but Ric is a lot more htan that. He exudes a feeling of warmth and welcome, and can look as pimp as Hef in his silk pajamas. Come to think of it, how many people would bring silk pajamas to a Ren Faire? Really? With a sense of style that is all his won, Ric truly is one of a kind. I'm still trying to figure out if that is a good thing or not.
Lets see. I know everyone always puts all BS in these testimonials. Like "This is the greatest guy in the world, his cock is 36' long, he can leap tall buildings in a single bound, blah blah blah." I won't do that with Ric. I will tell you the straight dope, period. I haven't ever seen Ric mad, he is about as laid back as it comes, when it comes to being angry. He is happy, all the time. But laid back DOES NOT apply to his personality. He is ecstatic about being alive, and lets you know it. Its hard to be grumpy around Ric, I mean the guy is a waterfall of happiness. On top of him being super happy and kind and all that nansy-pansy bambie crap he is also a wild man. This guy has balls the size of coconuts. I guess literally and figureatively actually. I don't think he has the ability to be embarressed. He does things that would have everybody laughing AT you, but when Ric does these htings everyone laughs with him. Its quite amazing actually. OK, so we now know that he is perpetually happy (without the aid of heavy doses of narcotics), and that he is super crazy wild. On top of that he is really dedicated and is a hard worker. Now coming from a super anal-retentive person as myself that has some value. When you delegate something to Ric and it needs to get done, it gets done. THAT tells you a lot about this guy. Now as a closer I will say that in addition to all that stuff above he is also super nice. I haven't met anyone who didn't think he was super cool within 13.9 seconds of meeting him. I have to be honest about one thing though, someone needs to tell Ric that Converse Hi-Tops are just not the right shoes to wear with G-Strings and Tighty- Whitees. I just don't have the heart to break it to him, I think he will be crushed.
Rockstar doesn't do a modicum of justice to describe the superior sexiness, endless libido, and divine talent found in just a sample of Rick's semen. Not only does he have some serious hottitude happening he is also the most kind, generous and giving person I have ever met. He also makes me smile a lot. I could go on and on and on for days...Instead, I will just say that I hope to be Rick someday...Until then, I will just be in his pants. ;-)
sexy sexy senor burrito! mr groove-a- licious and the best looking guy in a red lace dress i've ever seen... if i was hungover with the flu and pink-eye i'd trust him to floss my toes.
mah homie! Q-vo! see...i'm not gay or nothin' but this guy is hot! oh yeah, rick...don't come near me with that thing! hahahahaha...huh?
He ain’t heavy he’s my brother Even though we were born 3 years apart he is like a twin. The only person I know that I could sit in a room with, say nothing, and both of us would know exactly what the other is talking about. The best friend or, brother anyone could ever ask for.
I can attest to the God-like proportions of Ricardo's Mammoth Cock. Like a huge hot purple popsicle sticking out of his fuzzy tiger chaps. Never in a million lifetimes will anyone else like Rick walk this earth. He'll leave his dirty socks in your living room and spill his burrito on your white carpet and let your new kitty drink beer from his bottle cap, and his smell will drive you from your home at times, but that's all part of the package. When the day is done, you'll never forget him, and you'll never want to.
This one time, at a party, Rick and I'd been hanging out, when we heard some noises coming out of the laundry room. We peeked through a crack in the door, and saw a guy on his knees giving a blowjob to another guy. So we video tapped it and made a bundle on eBay.
What words can I use to describe Rick? Funny: definitely! Sweet, Talented, Kind: Totally! Normal: not a chance! Rick lives in his own world, and baby, I'm movin there real soon! I can always count on Rick to make me laugh exactly when I need to. And he's a sexy bitch to boot!
Rick's just creepy. Maybe it's the horns or the tail... I haven't quite pinned it down yet. His performances always leave me guessing as to how much insight he really has on these evil characters! But it's creepy in that good, private guilty pleasure kinda way... Honest!
Watch out for this gen-x poster child, he's young, dumb and full of.....Wonderfully twisted ideas. My little world is turned upside down when he aint around. I cant wait to drink whiskey with him when were old and wrinlkey cause it will be like being at the bar...with yoda. Think about it.
Rick is the living embodyment of Bill the Cat but with out a hairball problem... But the Rock Idol, the political dissonance, the Columbian cocain, the sex symbol... I am telling you it's all there... Plus he is the only person who I have drawn a stick figgure of who has 3 legs...
Rick is the devil...and a damn good one at that.
I have to agree with Suzy about the size of Rick's cock! Oh yeah, he is a pretty good guy, too.
Its always a great time with Rick around. He's a funny,wacky man who I can bounce crazyness with. Knows nice boobs when he sees them.
Rick rocks and has huge cock!
Rick is from outer space. But he never lets that get in the way of having a good time down here. His ongoing mission: to educate mere Earthling mortals in the ways of the Great Meat Whistle, and travel incognito disguised as Ricardo Montalban.
He has, like, a huge boinger. I seen it, he peed in my direction.
Super neato, cool, groovy and happening in a far out way!!! Dum Ditty dum ditty dum dum dum....
What can I say about this man He loves beer but not from a can. Guinness or Bass would be just right but don't even offer him a bud light.
"untitled" a Barbarian movie!!, *Kingfish and Eddie's Hubba Hubba Revue*, 12 oz Mouse, 5 Cent Coffee, American Bindi, BirdWatching, Charles Bukowski, Crumpled Napkin, Dead Hensons, Demented Circus: A Tiger Lillies Tribe, Dog Talk, Dogs In Doublets, East Bay Bands, Everything's a Dollar in this Box, Ex-Mormon Stripper Show, Fierce Invalids, Hearts and Flowers (aka Love for Lovers), Hobohemians Boxcar Band, I.K. BONITA, Ivan's Mega Party,