I have been a spiritual seeker all my life (I'm 46). I've been very interested in awakening my Kundalini for some time now, but have never been able to do so on my own, no matter how much or how long I meditated. I'm not sure now how I found Yogi Madan, but after reading some of the other testimonials, I thought he may be able to help. There are so many self-proclaimed gurus on the Internet now, many of them charging money for such services, so I knew this man must be very different. And I was right!

Although I didn't have very extreme experiences during the six days of Shaktipat, the peace and energy that I felt during the first day were very physical. A wonderful warmth permeated my entire being afterward, but the most interesting experience came for me that first evening after I lie down to sleep. I found myself in a "mind awake, body asleep" state, which I believe has also been called "Clear Light Sleep" by some long-time meditators. I could hear my body breathing heavily, deeply asleep, but my mind was detached, calm, very aware, and feeling very, very blissful. I think I was lying there for several hours like this, simply enjoying the sensations. I have read that some advanced Yogis no longer sleep because they no longer need to, and though I only had this experience the first night, I can see now that this is actually possible.

Although the rest of the meditation sessions were relatively uneventful compared to what others have experienced here, at this moment I can certainly feel the tingling sensation up my spine and on my crown whenever I focus on it. To be honest, I thought that a kundalini awakening might be more intense, and perhaps even TOO intense, and a part of me was hoping for that in order to "prove" to myself that it was real. As it turns out, however, I am EXTREMELY grateful that I can feel the Shakti at all, because I know that in time my experiences will grow as I do. Even as I sit here writing this, I can feel the gentle tingling of the Shakti on my crown, reminding me that we are all spiritual beings in a world of wonder of which we can only see a very small part.

Yogi Madan is a real Yogi. His gift to me, which was freely given by my asking, means more to me than I can ever express. He is gladly awakening the Shakti in all those who wish it, and what a wonderfully compassionate thing to do in a world that is now in such desperate need of it!

Blessings and Love to Yogi Madan and the Siddha Yoga Lineage!

Namaste,
Morgan

Namaste!

Yesterday I received distant Shaktipat for firts time from Guru Madan.

I started sitting on a mat at 8 pm and meditate, as agreed with Guru Madan. Started feeling warm energy in specific parts of my body, especially head, hands and sacral bone area. Also I had a bit of shivers in my body, like those before a fever. After shaktipat I went to sleep, my back was really hot, I was feeling very hot.I haven't had any mystic vision or kriya movement as Guru Madan made it so that I didn't get that kind of experience as I told him I am very scared and don't want to feel too much spaced out. So don't be scared of shaktipat, it will happen in gentle way if that is what you prefer.
I am still under the shaktipat effect, my mind is like more still and it seems difficult to think, like unnatural.

I suggest you to contact Guru Madan if you are interested in awakening kundalini.
I asked him if I could send him a symbolic offer for the shaktipat and he said he doesn't accept payments for shaktipat as it is all garce of all Great Gurus of his Lineage including Maha Avatar Babaji if the shaktipat can happen. He is definitely a genuine Guru!


Thank you Guru Madan!
I hope many others will have possibility to experiment shaktipat through your Grace!

Yogi Madan was kind enough to offer me Kundalini Shaktipat awakening. I am a westerner living in the Caribbean who has only connected with Yogi Madan via email and one telephone call. I didn't know what to expect but I had been hoping for a Shaktipat experience for years. But I was aware that most authentic Indian yogis shun westerners and I wasn't very hopeful. More so when I realized that it would be a remote experience (long distance). But I decided to follow his instructions and I was amazed by my experience. Here are the details:

DAY ONE
Everything went amazingly well. I was overwhelmed with the "power" of Mother Shakti. Within five minutes of sitting down, my upper body began to roll around and I felt my hands grow hot. There were some pin pricks in my shoulder and a pain ran through my right leg (which pains me because I jog regularly). Then I felt my arms and legs out of control, going in different directions. My hands began to shake uncontrollably during the sessions I had to get up at one point and begin a jerky dance routine. I felt my inner thighs hitting each other during the thrashing around. My feet also began to stomp around of their own accord. Then I felt myself being pushed downward and then pulled back upwards and in between my upper body would keep rolling around. I felt like I was drunk most of the time, slurring my words.

I sang silly songs, made funny high-pitched noises like an ambulance siren and then roared quietly like a lion. Then I began acting like a baby, gurgling, and calling"mama". At one point in time I found myself uttering only words beginning with the letter "f" such a fuggy, flew, fooh, fley etc. I also made a lot of gutteral sounds from my throat as if I were trying to free something stuck in there. At times I felt myself screaming but in a subdued way so only I could hear myself.

In the first 30 minutes or so, I was sweating a lot and felt my clothing becoming damp. Afterwards, I cooled off a bit. The energy stayed with me for approximately 1 hour and 25 minutes with a few short breaks in between, none lasting more than 2 minutes. Every time I prayed to Kundalini Shakti, She came back and I felt Her energy coursing through me again making my arms and legs move about without control. I think She was actually listening to me! I felt very nauseous for about an hour and more than once I made my way to the sink to vomit but nothing came up.

At 2.00 pm my time, I was so exhausted I had to lie down. I gave thanks to the Mother, the Lineage Gurus and your kind self for helping me with this awakening.

All of this is very astounding, given the fact that anyone who knows me will tell you that I am very conservative in my behaviour - very prim and proper. I speak very softly and I don't drink, eat meat or go out dancing and I never shout. And yet, there I was under the influence of Mother Kundalini acting very contrary to my usual behaviour!

However, at the end of the session I just felt lighter and 'cleaner' not necessarily blissful.

I also noted that I began feeling lighter in the morning even before you started your prayers and invocations. In fact I noticed a few beneficial things happening that were not expected - concerning mundane matters. I don't know if there is a connection or it is just coincidence.

So there you are! A full report and my deepest thanks for your effort and devotion. Tomorrow we continue again, same time and same place.

DAY TWO
Well the second day was fine and very similar to the first day. There was less thrashing around with the hands and feet and fewer gutteral sounds but still enough to make me tired at the end of the session. She rolled me around and there were intervals with intense leg movements. The "f' sounds continued and at times I felt myself hissing like an angry snake or singing in a high pitched tone.The overall feeling of drunkeness stayed with me throughout the session. Whenever I tried to tie my hair up, Mother Kundalini would shake me from side to side until my hair came cascading down - almost as if She didn't want the hair tied up. There were a few heavy inhalations and exhalations. I had more mental experiences this time with a feeling of whizzing through the cosmos. The feeling of nausea was present and I suspect it might be connected to the vigorous upper body movements which gave me motion sickness. (I suffer from motion sickness when I drive through high altitudes). I drank some water and the nausea disappeared.
At the end of the session, I gave thanks to Mother Kundalini, the Lineage Gurus and your good self.

So there you have it for Day Two.
Thank you so much again and we shall begin tomorrow at the same time.

DAY 3
Today's Shaktipat went well with a difference. There were less physical movements. It took longer for me to feel the Energy but She did come. It was more mental this time. Actually I was a little worried because I woke up with bad nausea this morning and (tiredness as well) and I wondered if my stomach could take more shaking up. But I was prepared for anything.

I had my eyes closed and felt the impact from the crown of my head when She descended upon me. She shook me up a bit and drunken feeling came but there was less thrashing around this time. I did have the urge to spit out the "f" words and there was some hissing and high-pitched noises but not with the same intensity like Monday. She kept moving me backwards and forwards and I felt my upper body being pushed down over my knees several times. While down with my eyes closed, I would see the colour blue - a deep dark, rich blue in various patterns. Once or twice, I saw this blue colour in a pattern of indescribable beauty with tiny points of lights in other colours sparkling in the collage. Another time I saw the same blue in a mechanical design that wasn't pretty. When I attempted to raise my head with my eyes still closed, I would see red everywhere in the form of a huge red sun shining at me.
She was very quiet at times and I would also close my eyes during these moments. I would see an inner sky with waves of beautiful multi-coloured clouds rolling across each other. Once I saw pink and at other times, I saw blues, greys and greens. It was quite stunning. I recall seeing an avenue of yellow lights as well.
At the end of the session, she shook me up again, rotated my body until the chair shaked a bit and then She left.

As usual I gave thanks for the Blessing of Her Grace and to all who helped me in the initiation.

So there you have it for Day 3.

DAY FOUR
How are you? Well today was different. There was very little physical movement although I did get rolled around a bit ...but no dancing or hands and feet moving in different direction. There were a few hard breath exhalations and a few facial contortions. The feeling of drunkeness was not as intense as before. It was largely mental in that I had inner experiences similar to those I have in meditation. I closed my eyes and saw the inner sky with multi-coloured waves of spectacular dimensions. I felt the energy descend upon money every time I prayed to Her. I felt light.
So there you have it. Thank you again for the patience and time and I also express deepest gratitude to Mother Kundalini Shakti and the gurus of the Siddha lineage for their grace.

See you again tomorrow at the same time.

DAY FIVE
I trust that you are well. Day five of Shaktipat went well. There were more physical movements today than yesterday and I felt Mother Kundalini more intensely although not as intensely as Monday. I found myself singing all kinds of silly little songs, in languages I don't understand. Most of it must have been nonsense but the urge to sing was very strong. There was a little shaking up and rolling around as well. I felt myself exhaling very strongly at times and a gutteral sounds came from my throat. I felt myself spitting out words beginning with "f" again. At one time She made me jump up and down for about a minute. At another time She made me shout out loud for a second.
There fewer mental experiences today but I felt light bordering on a gentle form of detached bliss. The feeling of drunkeness was there and it stayed with me for up to 20 minutes after the session ended at 2 pm (my time).

So there you are...once more my deepest gratitude to you, the Mother and Gurus of the Siddha lineage.

See you tomorrow at the same time for the final session.If there is anything I need to know with respect to following up, please let me know.

DAY SIX
Yesterday, the last day of Shaktipat went well. There were fewer physical movements and almost no mental experiences. I felt myself singing, yawning and moving around my arms and feet a bit. I was feeling a little low in spirits in spirits before I started but after I completed the session, I felt better. Now I will continue my prayers and meditation and see what happens. I intend to visit to visit India later this year or next year and I shall be considering some of the ashrams I see listed on your links.

So there you are.... once again thank you so much for your assistance. Thanks to as well Mother Kundalini Shakti and the gurus of the Siddha Lineage. If there is anything that you wish me to do for you, please let me know. I shall give a small offering to the homeless as a debt of gratitude for this awakening.

Many thanks,

The upliftment and healing is incredible - yes... there is nowhere else to go but inside.

I have been on the path for many years and have
experienced a few periods of incredible
connection and bliss, grace of god. I recieved a
message from yogi gautam one day and was blessed
to receive shaktipat from him. The following
were my experiences.

Day 1
I began to meditate at 8:30 am. I was not sure
how to meditate and look at you and your lineage
at the same time. What I did was try to memorize
what everyone looked like and to visualize them
and you while in my meditative state. I felt a
lot of very icy cold energy, as if being in icy
water. I felt waves of goose bumps. I felt
pain in my neck and shoulders, then down my spine and
finally in my left buttock, strong. In my
sciatic nerve, in my lower spine. In my arms and
my legs. I have much blockage! I felt a lot of
cold energy moving in my meridians. I saw very
bright white light, I felt your presence. I
heard you telling me to not be so distacted.
That is all I remember. Many blessings to you,
and thank you,

Day 2
I am so sorry, I am crying in frustration. I do
not understand why I cannot do this. I do not
want to waste your time and energy. I have tried
everything. I just cannot stand the cold. I have
been cold for so long. I will stop my whining. I
have been praying and praying for surrender.
I sat for meditation, actually I did a bit
better at that part today, I was less
distracted. I felt a lot of very cold goosebump
type of energy. Waves of it. I had less pain
today, only in the left side of my neck. Will, I
know. I had a lot of sexual images. I saw a
bright white dot of light coming toward me,
getting closer and then I tried to draw it into
my self. I think it came into me. Thank you
so much, many heartfelt blessings to you, still
praying for surrender,

Day 3
Today was so much better! And there was a lot,
I will try to remember it all. I began with
gloves on, under the covers (!) but I heard
'take off the gloves', ha, so I did. I felt/saw
you and all your Gurus around me, we were in a
circle. Then we were traveling, we went to a
temple, then mountains of Tibet, then Machu
Pichu ( I always wanted to go there). I saw
colors, very deeply hued, purple, blue orange
yellow red, a crown, then a shape I think like a
pope's hat (?) I am definitely not catholic. It
was kind of like a pyramid. I felt pressure on
my shoulders, a weight. My neck hurt but just
for a moment. I felt many waves of the cold
goose bumpy energy. I think pressure on my crown
( all 3 days, I forgot to mention that). I kept
coming back to seeing all the Gurus around me. I
heard things like people speaking. I kept
chanting Sat Nam and Ong Namu Dev Guru. To try
to bring my focus back. I saw myself travel back
in my life to when I was a baby and saw myself
getting beaten with fists. As far as I know this
did not happen to me, it did happen to a friend;
I saw myself being thrown across a room into a
wall. This happened to the same friend. It could
have happened to me. I saw myself in my teen
years, a very humiliating sexual experience,
shameful, and was shown that the two events were
connected. That my lack of self love was due to
early abuse. I knew this, I am not sure why I
was shown, perhaps I need to be more aware, or
need to do more forgiving. I then had the very
strong pain in my left hip/leg, I relaxed into
it instead of fighting it. It was very strong.
It could just be due to my position. I also had
a pain which I have had for years and could
never figure out what it was, I think I was
shown that it was due to my tailbone being
broken when I was 20 and I fell on some ice.It
is being straightened, or kundalini needs to
enlarge or move something. I had a lot of sexual
feelings and I saw fire in my 1st chakra then
all the main chakras were lit. I felt more waves
of the goose bumps, then a lot of sexual energy.
I saw Shakti and Shiva at one point, Shakti was
all golden and she entered me, and I sort of
'became' her. I think that is all, I stopped
early all 3 days, but I lasted longer every day,
today I made it till about the last 10 minutes.
I feel very peaceful, grateful and peaceful.

Day 4
Today was strange...I feel like I did well with
the meditative state, but not too much seemed to
happen. I got a lot of waves of tingly energy, a
lot of waves of electrical feeling energy, lots
of very bright white energy, a lot of Golden
light, a lot of green, a weight or pressure on
my chest, the pain in my hip, and in my neck,
both left side, sexual feelings, a feeling as
tho things were just being gotten ready.
An image of the goddess taking me apart and re-
arranging my parts.

Day 5
Today was bad. I was very distracted, it was
very loud here, no help for it. I could not get
into and stay in meditative state. I did see
colors, bright white light, golden light, a pale
blue/purple. I heard bells.

Day 6
Today was much better than yesterday. I got a
lot of bright white and golden light, waves of
energy, I saw myself being born, coming out of
the birth canal. I saw the bright light going
into my perineum. I got the pain in my neck, but
much less so and I kept imagining it being
massaged and removed and the pain would lesson.
I made it for the entire hour and a half. All in
all it was good. I kept doing the root lock,
trying to bring up the Kundalini, but it didn't
happen.

This was a wonderful experience and I thank you
for the shaktipat. I would definately reccomend
it to anyone who is seeking.

Thank you so much yogi gautam , you are my very blessed
Guru and I love you dearly. Namaste. Carol

I trust that many of you reading this have found Yogi Madan’s post/blogs inspiring and or intriguing. I was and am very much taken aback by Sir’s openness and straight forward honesty in responses in posts and blogs.
This is taken from my first email to Yogi Madan :
“I have never sought a Guru before, as you may have come to see that Western society has tainted the words Guru from it's true meaning thus robbing both sincere Guru and disciple from reaching their chance encounters. But I have also been told that when a true seeker is ready and Teacher will be there waiting.”
I never felt that anyone one I found was a true of heart Guru. And I was just as cautious as I see many on this site are. If you are one that is, I suggest you go through Yogi Madan’s blogs and read through the blogs regarding Sir’s Lineage. And understand that you are in the presence of a great gift that was nearly lost but through selfless devotion these great Gurus have made this wonderful blessing available to us, they only ask that you seek it with a true heart.
I contacted Yogi Madan through email and was very hopeful that my search for a true of heart Guru was not in vain. Yogi Madan responded and we set an agreed upon date and time when I was to receive my initiation of Shaktipat. Here I share with you six days of my experience:

Day1: Promptly at the agreed time I sat in my make shift meditation room. I was a bit nervous and did my best to keep an open mind and have faith in Yogi Madan.
Just as I sat down and began to take deep breaths it sounded as if many bees where in the room with me. Then slowly My body began to tremble uncontrollably. I did my best to keep praying and in the midst of the body trembles I felt the presence of two great Gurus, one on my right side and the other on my left meditating with me. Then I felt a great energy rise up from the bottom of my spine all the way up to my chest. It was so powerful that I felt like I could not breathe. My heart was beating fast. I did my best to stay calm and surrender to Kundalini. I felt so many energies in my body. Then I saw many images in my mind, some of people I’ve never met before, others where animals like a snake, and eyes. I keep trying to stay focused and allow Kundalini to take over. Then a clear vision came into my mind, I saw clearly that I was in a garden meditating. The vision faded but I was left feeling very blissful and at peace. Then it felt as if someone had their hand on my forehead, it was a slight pressure. Following that my left leg began to ache very bad, while I felt so much energy moving around in my body. Out of my control my torso began to move back and forth then in a circle, then my lower half did the same thing. My eyes flew open, I tired to close them but I could not, I felt like I was only in my body but did not control of it. I laid down in corpse pose and felt more energy moving and centered at my 2 chakra and slight sensations up my abdomen and in between my eyes. The top of my head began to vibrate. It was nearly 2 and a half hours before I came out of meditation.

Day2: This sitting was much more peaceful and calm. Sometimes I felt a little sad but then happy again. As soon as I sat down to meditate my torso began to move back and forth then in a circle, I moved like this the whole time in meditation. The movements felt very snake like, the whole time I felt very blissful. I felt vibrations at the bottom of my spine then it started to burn all the way up to my chest, I felt energy moving on the right and left side of my spine, with right side being strongest. I felt pressure on my for head and the top of my head. And when the energy is strong in my chest I feel like I can not breathe, but the feeling does not last very long. I saw the image of a woman.
After meditation I felt very peaceful and forgiving of myself and everyone around me. My spine still felt hot. And throughout the rest of the day if I sat still enough Kundalini energy would take over and my body would again begin the movements from earlier in meditation and strong energies at the bottom of my spine would rise up.

Day3: Today's sitting was much more subtle than the first two. As soon as I began to meditate I felt a piercing pain, like someone one burning a hole in the back of my neck and spine. I felt a cool burning sensation in my lower spine that keeps trying to come up and I feel the energy very strong like a million bees buzzing in my spine then come all the way up to the back of my head, but it only lasted for a little bit. I saw more visions of a snake and visions of eyes. I tried to remain focused on meditating.
It felt like there was a great Guru sitting in front of me. Then there was pressure on my forehead and it felt like someone was squeezing my whole heard and my head pulsed three or four times then the feeling was gone. After that I think I went into a trance (partially awake and asleep) and then I had a vision of a garden and a great master was sitting on a lotus flower with many petals, he was very old and was wearing a white robe and holding a wooden staff, he had white and gray hair and a beard. I was praying at his feet but I was a man. I felt the master was teaching me many great things but I don't know what. I don’t know how I know he is a master and I've never seen his image before in my life. Then I felt Kundalini very strong in my spine and my body jerks and my breathing changed to be more deep.
After meditation I had mixed emotions, I felt great sadness(I was on the verge of tears) but also a deep compassion for Mother Earth in my heart while in my head I felt peaceful. It was confusing me.

Day4: Today in meditation it was easier to keep my mind focused. And it seems that I hear more sounds now, I can hear all of the birds singing outside and feel the vibration of each car passing by. I felt as though my body was being pulled in many directions, I was not sure if I was moving or if the ground beneath me was moving. It was a very strange feeling. I also felt a light cool wind on my face and when I breathe it in it was very cool and sweet and felt very pure. I saw visions again of eyes and snakes, but this time small bright blue dots where in my visions. Sometimes they where the pupils in the eyes and sometimes they where the eyes on the snake shinning bright. And sometimes there where many of them. I felt like Kundalini was releasing blockages in my upper back, especially on the right side of my spine. Then I felt a strong energy in my lower back, the energy tickled me and I laughed. Sometimes my hands feel numb and cool burning sensation all over my body that felt very pleasant. I did not feel sad like yesterday, today I felt calm and peaceful inside. I felt very connected with the universe. I also felt strong sensation on the top of my head like many tiny needles and my upper back. And also a sense of restlessness, like I can not sit still for too long, I needed to move around and be with plants and nature.

Day5: Today's sitting was again a subtle one. I feel mainly energy in my upper spine, back and shoulders. I felt like I was falling asleep but still awake and aware. Then I heard two drum like sounds in my right ear and I sat up straight. Then I felt like Kundalini was adjusting the way I was sitting. I felt intense pressure and burning like pain in my neck. I tried to move my neck to relieve some of the pressure but I could not! I felt a little bit scared. Then it was like a hot straight light was inserted from the top of my head down all the way down my neck then to the root of my spine. The top of my head felt like someone was pushing it down. Again I had visions of eyes and bright blue dots. I felt so much energy moving around it was hard to sit still, like Kundalini wanted me to move around jump, run, sing, dance all at the same time. I felt pressure inbetween my eyes and then my head began to hurt. Then Kundalini moved me to bow many times and the pressure was released a little. Sometimes I would feel strong energy powerful wanting to rise up from the bottom of my spine, it feels like I might die because it is to strong for my body to take. But I remain calm and tell myself that if I die it is only my physical self not my soul. My body is also jerking from time to time. And again it feels like the ground is moving beneath me, as if I am being shaken.

Day6: Today in sitting my experience was very strong. I felt so much energy in my spine and body. My body could not stop jerking and shaking. So much energy shoot from the bottom of my spine like a fountain, it felt painful and blissful at the same time, I laughed and then I wanted to cry. My body move to bow many times and I asked for blessings, I don't know why I asked but it felt like a natural thing to do. After I feel very peaceful and I feel much compassion.

This is my true experience with Shaktipat and Kundalini awakening. I hope that me being open about my experience I’ve helped others be open and have faith that Yogi Madan is indeed a true to heat Guru. Sir has been very nurturing during my whole experience. Sir was not judgmental or absent in emotion. I am on the seekers path to self-realization and Yogi Madan never told me I was on the wrong path or try to force me into a certain belief. Yogi Madan’s blessing of Shaktipat has been like a map for me. I have great respect and deep gratitude towards Yogi Madan.

Thank you for helping me realize JOY.
This has been the most amazing experience.
*Much love and respect*

I was in search of a soul who can help me on the path of kundalini mahayoga. In today’s day and age it is very difficult to find a true and sincere help. In my further search I happen to find Madan Yogi. I found him to be very honest, sincere and devoted spiritual mentor. He gave me shaktipat initiation. My experience was subtle but still powerful in its own right. It is not always what happens outside but also what happens inside overtime that counts. I am very grateful to him for his help and continual spiritual guidance. I look forward to learn and grow with him.

I was in keen search of a real path to self realization when i met my Guru/Mentor Shri Deepak Yogi Ji at Hapur. Before that i have tried several kind of meditation and yoga techniques but nothing very fruitful. He initiated me in Kundalini Yoga with Shaktipat Deeksha in May 2004. At that time Kriya Shakti starts working in my body and I felt some current running through my spine and felt tremendous energy in my head, that experience was so nice. After that whenever i sit for meditation Kriyas started them self even just by thinking about Kriya Shakti/Guruji/Spiritual beings. I have got many sittings of Shaktipat which boosted my Kriyas and depth of meditation. I was having chronic backache which was not allowing me to sit longer in straight posture, once my Guruji touched my back during yoga practice and that backache was cured forever. Kriya shakti is always helping and guiding me. We belong to Siddha Lineage of Swami Vishnu Teerthji Maharaj. My Guruji is now brahmaleen, one with the omnipresent consciousness and always guiding all of us through our inner self. He had authorized his elder most disciple Yogi Madan Gautam ji as his successor Guru. Madan Gautam ji is a sincere devotee and practicing Siddha kundalini yoga from last ten years. Yogi Madan Gautam ji is my brother disciple. He has deep affection towards me and all the brother disciples. He is carrying the great work of my Guruji and spreading his message, he is also giving Shaktipat Deeksha to sincere truth seekers. We are sure and it's our wish to god that he will take this torch of Shaktipat kundalini yoga to far above expectations. Guruji and all Siddhas bless all of us. OM

When I received an email from Yogi Gautaum I knew exactly what the reason was. I had been waiting for so long to meet the person who could teach me the things that I need to know about how to raise my kundalini responsibly and properly. I have always been very deeply intone with my own reservoir of kundalini, I have been a force since I was a little girl, but up until I meditated with Yogi Madan it was not being properly used and now I understand that it could not possibly be used correctly without the shaktipat.
I believe that for the first time in my life I am feeling the true and constructive energies that have always been there, in my character and my life path, but could not be actualized. I was a piece of machinery that worked, just like most of us, but it seemed like I was tapping my own power in incredibly inefficient ways. I would deplete my energies very quickly and then also get bursts of too much with no idea how to use it. That seemed to be the mode of operation for most of my life. Incredible insights, energies, understanding, but I think that the best way to describe how I was before as ‘ill’, energetically, which I am now realizing is only just now changing for the first time.

Six years ago, age 21 my whole life changed in a way I never could have anticipated. I fractured my spine and suddenly went from being a classical dancer, gymnast and avid soccer/basketball player…to doing nothing. It felt like my whole connection to the world was cut off, what I didn’t realize at the time was that my connection to the world the way it was before WAS gone, but my connection to the greater world, the universe at large, was being allowed to wake up. Before my injuries I was a body in motion, free and- I believe- very attached to my personal kundalini force, but with no control, no fine tuning. Like a battery that drains its charge but has as remarkable charge when it works=), I really had no idea at that point how to balance myself or control my reservoir. My level of conscious awareness was usually the thing inside me that was half asleep… and I was raised by very conscientious, poor and humble people compared to most in this country, but even at my best it was impossible for me to be using my energy in the proper way. It was like a propeller rocketing me around my life with no understanding or cultivation. Being rocketed around by powerful forces you don’t understand gets you nowhere pretty quickly.
After I broke my spine the whole world changed to one bed, starring at one ceiling, for 6 months. After lying in that bed for 6 months you lose all your precious muscle mass, which is very important for holding the spine in place…and then there is really nothing you can do to get it back once whatever muscles are left grow back in whatever way they can manage. The next summer I was required to have surgery again, with only 2 months of recovery.
The experience of fracturing my spine and watching my world close down to a tiny pinhole seemed like a curse on my life for a lot of years. Intense and disciplined classical ballet was the center of my life, if I had ever felt really passionately in love with something in this world it was that. And now, here I was, in pain all the time and I don’t take any prescription medication. Shut away from the world. FORCED to just be. I felt like I had left the world. I was angry...in deep deep ways. I was sad. I thought my life was over. But of course what I thought was a curse on my life has led me to this point, but its led me soooo far from that place and now its led me way out here to this amazing house in the middle of nowhere, complete with the recent traumatic break up between my partner and I…after trusting him and moving out here…its forced me to face the few things that have been left unattended inside of me
It stared me right in the face and put me into a position where I had no choice but to make a few huge jumps in my own personal growth. And here I am, fully working on it and really working it out. I can say that with complete confidence. Its joyful.
Two months ago when I got an email from Yogi Madan I was skeptical about dealing with anyone who calls themselves a guru, especially online, but after reading only a few of his writings and responses to people in his tribes I new that I trusted him and that this was not a front, this was not about HIM, he was not misusing these important tools. I felt, this might sound silly, but he was not coming from the third eye haha- he was coming from the fifth.
Even still I was wondering if it would be a good idea to go through the process of kundalini raising in my current living situation, going through the painful process of parting ways with my partner, but it was just so natural and I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew that raising kundalini could be potentially destructive, but I believe that it was the absolute time and place for this to happen, Yogi Madan in obviously very intuitive =)
All his message said was “would you like me to show you who you are in reality? OM”
=)
and I knew exactly what he meant by that. I was almost in disbelief that I was finally getting my chance! And it just happened without me seeking him out, he found me.
I was ready to get rid of one more layer of self…and this time it was going to be a big one, require some help. I felt like Kali Ma was waving that Vagra brush at me…asking me if I wanted to do things the hard way or the harder way. I picked the hard way- possibly for the first time in my life I picked the hard way over the harder one!- and Im so glad.

I am so grateful for the experience and at the time I had no idea what to expect. I have a lot of experience with meditation and yoga and out of body work, but this was a completely unique experience. I felt physiological reactions to the meditation that I normally would not have felt so consistently…for the first three days I felt intense heat and pressure all over my body but concentrated around the main chakra meridians, very intensely around my solar plexus, main heart chakra and the two sides of the heart chakra inside the shoulder and below the colar bone. I felt my root chakra doing… things haha, from about the first five minutes of the first hour session and throughout all four sessions. The third day was very intense with the strongest heat and pressure of all four days concentrated (mostly) just around the heart chakra and my head…
and led into the fourth days experience perfectly. The fourth day I felt something completely different. I could only describe it as being perfectly still and sitting up but feeling like I am between awake and asleep…falling, but sitting up perfectly straight. This state came to me within the first few moments of the fourth days meditation and lasted the whole hour, like I was taking one long in and out breath that last for one whole hour.
This was the most beautiful experiences of my life and definitely one of the greatest things that I have done for my own well being, for my life. I needed his help, I asked and asked…or just sort of set my intention…to connect with someone like I him… but I had no idea how or when I would meet him. Throughout our meditation sessions I felt as if I were sitting right there with him… If my mind wandered or if I tried too hard to ‘observe’ the physical sensations I would just feel him pull my attention, very gently and caring, back to the direct connection between us while we were sitting there. I felt like he was just making small but important adjustments in my body…maybe the places where I am losing energy or am too closed off to energy in other places. Ive felt for some time like my chakras are fractured where my spine is fractured (around the 2nd and 3rd.. chakras, I have a metal cage around the L4 and L5 vertebrae…metal and the chakra meridians?) Sitting with him was a very particular feeling, which I don’t believe I have even ever felt with someone who I was sitting right next to, let alone someone on the other side of the world. It was a perfectly loving peaceful place, I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all.
I am very grateful for that experience. I am grateful to myself for having the sense to engage in the shaktipat when it came to me!
Most of all I am in awe of the work that Yogi Madan in doing, helping one person at a time, which is the only true way to affect the world.
Thank you.