so i have some sort of bug. pretty sure it was given to me via boogers of my friend's son. i was a suitable jungle gym during an lds service. i wish i had the kind of faith they have, in anything.
i don't have faith i can get my coding certification.
i don't have faith that i'm ever going to get any reasonable visitation with my daughter.
i don't have faith that my son will continue loving me, because i haven't been there for him as much as i should have been.
i don't have faith that ... read more

itchy from sunburn. exhausted and yet still up. the natives are all tucked in to their beds. playing the role of suburban housepet listening to the sound of nothingness echo throughout her head and coming up more and more empty is drowning me, and at the same time i have that sneaking suspicion that nothing will change it. half of that is hope, because when i'm out there on my own i feel so alone. yet i've gotten lost inside my own life now. like i got lost & died somewhere inside it. it's m... read more

for a while i've been drowning in my own funk, but i seem to be pulling myself out of it. i have got to find a happy job. one that i don't dread going to bed because i know i'll wake up in the morning & have to go there.
lost my poi =( of course i didn't notice i lost them when it was winter, but now that it's not a frozen wasteland, gotta gets me some new ones.
to return to school or not to return to school? to go back to school to get my medical coding certificate or to find something tha... read more