joined on 11/07/07
last updated 10/28/08
November 17, 2007
In the short time I've known this man I can positively say what an articulate and thought provoking person he is. I first had the pleasure of meeting him at a party that fell through and while the party may have fizzled out I met a very special person. He's not only intelligent, he's also warm and funny. He's open minded and will have a fun and rational conversation on almost any subject. In other words, he's not only a good talker, he's a great listener!
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about me
I'm a dominant, professional male with an abiding interest in developing life-long friendships with intelligent, creative people. I'm also an expert at humiliation scenes, age play, and puppy training, and have often been called "The Patron Saint of Sodomy" for My skill at anal training of all kinds.
When it comes to BDSM, I'm much more interested in D/s and psychological play than I am in primarily physical S&M or B&D, although I do incorporate aspects of both into My scenes. My mind is My biggest sex organ, and needs to be fully-engaged for Me to achieve sexual or emotional satisfaction.
Also, while it's very hard to sum up one's philosophy about D/s in a few short sentences, it's worth pointing out that My idea of dominance is about using force of personality to create form and structure. I believe in defining boundaries, but also in creating space inside which a relationship can grow organically--and hopefully flourish.
November PowerMunch
(events » community)
Monday, November 26, 2007 - 6:30 PM
The Reno PowerMunch is a D/s-oriented social gathering where members of the BDSM community can come together in a public space to socialize over food and to discuss issues of common interest.
The PowerMunch takes place the 4th Monday of each month at 6:30 PM. RSVPs are recommended, but not required; however, munches with insufficient RSVPs are subject to last-minute cancellation at the discretion of the host.
Please ask the restaurant staff to direct you to the private banquet room when you get there. If you're still in doubt about being in the right place, just ask the folks in the banquet room if they're part of the munch group.
This event takes place in a vanilla (non-fetish) venue, so appropriate attire and acceptable public behavior are required at all times. If you have questions about what is or is not appropriate, please contact one of the hosts directly.
For more information, please sign up for our announcement list at tinyurl.com/2ovazd or call our information line at (916) 273-3638.
We look forward to seeing you there!
Reno PowerMunch on Apr 27, 2009 at 6:30 PM
( events » community ) The Reno PowerMunch is a D/s-oriented social gathering where members of
the BDSM community can come together in a public space to socialize over
food and to discuss issues of common interest.
The PowerMunch usually takes place the 4th Monday ...
read more
event starts Monday, April 27, 2009 - 6:30 PM
1 RSVP
Reno PowerMunch on Mar 23, 2009 at 6:30 PM (New Location!)
( events » community ) ######################################################################
# We've moved! Please take note of our new location below.
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The Reno PowerMunch is a D/s-oriented soc...
read more
event starts Monday, March 23, 2009 - 6:30 PM
1 RSVP
Reno PowerMunch on Feb 23, 2009 at 6:30 PM
( events » community ) The Reno PowerMunch is a D/s-oriented social gathering where members of
the BDSM community can come together in a public space to socialize over
food and to discuss issues of common interest.
The PowerMunch usually takes place the 4th Monday ...
read more
event starts Monday, February 23, 2009 - 6:30 PM
1 RSVP
Reno PowerMunch on Dec 22, 2008 at 6:30 PM
( events » community ) The Reno PowerMunch is a D/s-oriented social gathering where members of
the BDSM community can come together in a public space to socialize over
food and to discuss issues of common interest.
The PowerMunch usually takes place the 4th Monday ...
read more
event starts Monday, December 22, 2008 - 6:30 AM
1 RSVP
Reno PowerMunch on Nov 24, 2008 at 6:30 PM
( events » community ) The Reno PowerMunch is a D/s-oriented social gathering where members of
the BDSM community can come together in a public space to socialize over
food and to discuss issues of common interest.
The PowerMunch usually takes place the 4th Monday ...
read more
event starts Monday, November 24, 2008 - 6:30 PM
Reno PowerMunch on Oct 27, 2008 at 6:30 PM
( events » community ) The Reno PowerMunch is a D/s-oriented social gathering where members of
the BDSM community can come together in a public space to socialize over
food and to discuss issues of common interest.
The PowerMunch usually takes place the 4th Monday ...
read more
event starts Monday, October 27, 2008 - 6:30 PM
Enslave the whales!
( events » community ) Well, every group needs a slogan. I figure those of you brave enough to
come face Me next weekend at laser tag might want to think up your own
mighty slogans, even though they're unlikely to do you any good when
you're trapped between My unerri...
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event starts Saturday, September 20, 2008 - 4:00 PM
Reno PowerMunch
( events » community ) The Reno PowerMunch is a D/s-oriented social gathering where members of
the BDSM community can come together in a public space to socialize over
food and to discuss issues of common interest.
The PowerMunch usually takes place the 4th Monday ...
read more
event starts Monday, September 22, 2008 - 6:30 PM
A Forest of Emotional Trees
(blog entry)
Summer vacation is almost over. A few more weeks, and the School for Wayward Girls will be back in session. So, while school is out, here's something to think about while basking in the summer sun.
One of the biggest challenges in any relations...
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SSC vs. RACK: Exploring the differences between "Safe, Sane, and Consensual" and "Risk-Aware Consensual Kink"
( events » community ) The Reno PowerMunch is sponsoring its next round-table discussion group
on Wednesday, August 6th from 6:30-9:00 PM. Hors d'ouvres will be
provided.
A round-table is neither a formal class nor a free-form social event;
the PowerMunch round-ta...
read more
event starts Wednesday, August 6, 2008 - 6:30 PM
Summer vacation is almost over. A few more weeks, and the School for Wayward Girls will be back in session. So, while school is out, here's something to think about while basking in the summer sun.
One of the biggest challenges in any relationship, D/s or otherwise, is maintaining reciprocity. By that, I don't necessarily mean an equality of give and take, but rather that both partners get what they need out of the relationship. This is particularly tricky in a D/s relationship, where roles often circumscribe the way in which one seeks to get needs met.
I think it is a common mistake to equate strength with either indifference or insensitivity. This can cause problems in a D/s relationship.
In My experience, submissives tend to be very emotional, and live in a state of constant emotional flux. As a result, submissives are often drawn to dominants who are emotionally stable, and can provide a lodestone for them as they navigate an extremely rich—and sometimes disorienting—emotional landscape.
However, it is perhaps a step too far to think that dominants don't—or perhaps even shouldn't—have a complex emotional life of their own. It is all too easy for a submissive to become lost in the forest of her own emotions, and lose sight of the fact that her inner life has an impact on the other person, and on the relationship itself.
This is not to say that a good dominant shouldn't encourage a submissive to explore her emotions deeply, or that a submissive should ever be afraid to express her inner truths honestly and fully. Rather, I think it's important for both partners in a D/s relationship to make sure that the dynamic never becomes so imbalanced that a submissive cannot experience her inner life fully, or that a dominant is unwittingly dragged along on another's emotional roller-coaster.
A good dominant should ensure that a submissive's feelings are validated, honored, and—if not shared—at least respected. Likewise, a good submissive should ensure that her inner life does not occlude the needs of her dominant, and that she continuously strives to meet his needs and desires while honoring her own.
This is easier said than done, of course, but so are all the important lessons in life. The virtue is in the effort.
Class may not be in session, but there are always lessons to be learned. Enjoy the last days of summer!
Tue, August 26, 2008 - 3:35 PM
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Okay class, settle in. It's not summer vacation just yet!
Today's lesson is about topping from the bottom: what it is, and why it's bad for you. It won't make you go blind, of course, but it *will* blind you to what's wrong in your personal power dynamic.
So, what *is* topping from the bottom? It's not easy to apply a checklist, really, but the definition is pretty straightforward: it's a self-centered mindset that treats dominance like an on-demand service. This attitude is more common than you might think.
Especially in the S&M world, topping from the bottom is incredibly common, especially among sensation players. Bottoms who enjoy feeling certain sensations, be it thud or sting, or even just the too-frequent endorphin junkies, can easily become "do-me queens" expecting a top to service them.
If a top is getting his or her needs met too, then this isn't really an issue. But in many cases it's not really a negotiation, as the person topping from the bottom thinks she's at Burger King and just wants it her way.
This seems to work for some people, but I firmly believe that being a "service top" is destructive in the D/s realm. How can you possibly feel empowered if you're following someone else's script?
In My opinion, the difference between authentic power exchange and "service-topping" is in the application of contingent rewards. This requires creativity and good communication, but it is *essential* to good D/s.
The key to creating contingent rewards is to link a submissive's desired experience (e.g. a good, thuddy flogging) to the dominant's fulfillment. Perhaps an illustrative example will help.
If the submissive enjoys restrictive bondage, this should be linked to something the dominant enjoys, such as high-protocol dinner service. Perhaps he will have her serve a three-course dinner while hobbled, or use her naked body as a serving tray while she remains bound in intricate shibari. The idea is that the submissive would get what she wants through fulfilling the dominant's needs, rather than simply because it suits her.
Contrariwise, if a submissive enjoys a good, thuddy flogging, a dominant might set up an expectation that his submissive will be flogged later in the evening regardless of how the evening proceeds, but make the type of flogging (i.e. thud or sting) dependent on how well the submissive cleans the house with a feather duster in her ass. :)
As you can see, it's not about selfishness, as ideally both parties are getting their needs met. Instead, it's about primacy: the dominant's needs are the *gateway* to the submissive's fulfillment, and should come first.
Of course, the dominant should try to set the submissive up for success, and has the responsibility to apply rules consistently and to ensure rewards are given when earned. This is the price a dominant pays for having his needs made the primary focus of the relationship.
Non-contingent rewards certainly have their place, but cannot form the basis of a healthy D/s relationship. If you're looking for more than sensation play or public-scene S&M, contingent rewards must be the bedrock of the relationship.
Whether you consider yourself a bottom, submissive, or slave, I firmly believe you will be happier if your significant other makes you work for your rewards. And whether you are a top, dominant, or daddy, you will feel more valued and empowered—and perhaps be less susceptible to top-drop—if you understand how to avoid the service-top trap.
As a reward for listening quietly during class, you may now go enjoy your recess. See how easy contingent rewards can be? :)
Mon, June 2, 2008 - 2:37 PM
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Well, if you're new to Kinxism, it may surprise you to know that I've been blogging rather extensively on other sites before signing up with Tribe. So, if you can't find your way through the Internet stacks on your own, I've thoughtfully provided a few links to help you further your historical research:
* alt.com/blog/MasterKinxNV * bondage.com/i/1372572/blog.html
For the convenience of the faithful, I will ensure that future blog entries appear here on Tribe directly. In the meantime, have a very happy Thanksgiving!
Thu, November 22, 2007 - 12:04 PM
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