Last night a guest asked how can we cultivate a soft heart. and what is self love?
I replied: our proper identification is with our heart.
In which direction our heart is moving, that is the all important factor in our life. It is a heart transaction. The begining of this awakening is faith, as faith matures it awakens through the spirit of dedication or self-giving and ultimately blossoms to become love, divine love. Divine love is dormant in our hearts. Presently it is manifest in a shadow form as selfish conditional love based on exploitation. It is bodily centered or mind centered but is ultimately unfullfilling due to its rootedness in a misconception of "self". love is our proper identity, selflessness is the doorway to understanding our true "self".

In order to properly understand what is self love, we first must understand what is self and what is love.

The gita gives many directions on the true nature of true self that transcends the limited conceptions of bodily and psychological identity: We are not merely biological bodies composed of earth, water, fire, and air. Nor the mind, inteligence or ego. Biology, psychology and indeed all objective experience "float" upon the deeper reality of consciousness. We, as conscious subjects manifest objective reality through intentionality and action.

avinasi tu tad viddhi..."that which pervades the entire body is indestructable, no one can destroy that imperishable soul."
What pervades the body is consciousness, the symptom of the non-materially quatifiable transcendent self. Immesurable in its infinitely small dimension, yet potent in its full manifestation.

nainam chidyanti sastrani: "the self can never be cut by any weapon, burned by fire, moistened by water nor withered by the wind." najayate mryate va cadacin: " for the self there is neither birth nor death. (we are beginingless...) nor having once been does she ever cease to be. The self is un-born, ever-existing, undying and primeaval. The self is not slain when the body is slain. This is the science of identity. further vedic evidence elaborates the qualities of (1) sat-eternity (un-assailable existence, (2)chit-sentience, consciousness, awareness (3) ananda- joy, ecstasy, loving exchange, fulfillment.

Ananda is the food of our hearts, our souls....to be "needy" is to misconcieve oneself as an absorbing unit of self-conscious concern, and to seek fulfillment in personal gratification at the expence of the environment.. A healthier concept leading to genuine fulfillment is found when we properly concieve of our selves as radiant giving units of joy and ecstacy. In the dynamic of self giving we generate more energy and love to give. This is the paradox of love.

As my Spiritual Master, Srila Sridhar Maharaja taught: "By serving the center of all beauty, everything is beautifully done".