In the moment, I am contemplating radical lifetsyle changes. Last week, I was looking into doing a work exchange at a Permaculture Retreat Center in Costa Rica. Last night, it was writing to several organizations in Peru that host guests for shamanic diets. Today, it is searching through job posts on career builder.com and imagining living out the fantasy of a beach side flat in the Palm Beach/Fort Lauderdale area. Random, I know. I think you can see the parallel, no? The Sun. I dont mean this watered down thing floating above the mountains here in Southern Oregon. I mean tan skin year round....salt in my hair...and a smile on my face. Those of you who know me well, recognize this banter. Its only recently, that I have recognized, I can do whatever the f&*k I want to do with my life. Not sure when the light bulb went off, but even in the midst of the Amazon, there was this notion of a life I had to return to. This rubber band behind me, stretched nearly to its capacity....threatened to yank me back in the instant that I continued beyond its flexibility range. Not sure where the hell I got that notion or when it opened up.....but all of a sudden, I am considering anywhere in the world as a potential home and being really honest with myself about what I truly desire. At this point, enjoying the possibilities and honestly, just throwing ideas in every direction to see where doors may open. There are a few commonalities in the potential futures I take off the rack and try on.....One is a desire to have another child. Not sure when that one crept in, but lately I feel like a woman whose hormonal clock is ticking. Everytime I see a baby, I want to go over to it and pick it up as if it were my own. God, I can't imagine how it must be fvor women who actually have that internal timer ticking. Another common thread is as mentioned, warmer climes....the ocean...and proximity to urban conveinences. I'm drawn to latino influences...spanish speaking...spicier more colorful styles....oh, yeah and darker complexioned boys and girls. I want to live in a place where I can do yoga at sunrise on a relatively quiet beach, have lunch in a styley veggie-ish, hip cafe....work on my laptop outside on the deck of my home in a pair of flip flops and surf shorts, head to a local card room for a poker tournament and afterwards celebrate my winnings at funky dance establishment that is filled with bohemian goodness, rather than the usual drug induced, silicone inspired, chaos. Does this place exist? Look into your crystal ball and search for me, will you?