Male

36

My Self-Summary

I used to be able to say with impunity "I'm weirder than you are."

Then I moved to San Francisco.

When I was a kid I was often accused by adults of being "Too smart for [my] own damn good."

I dress funny, I talk funny, and I think funny. I'm tired of being asked "where are you from, anyhow?"

I only logged in here because everyone else was doing it and I figured it would give me a chance to stretch my wings on the way down.

Here's my current incarnation upon the financial plane of existence... a fork in the eye of Apple and the RIAA:

www.songbirdnest.com



What I'm Doing With My Life

Walking around a big city.

Gambling a chunk of my money in the bank on the business I'm helping start.

Kidnapping colors, abusing them and treating them as numbers, and then mathematically brainwashing them into spinning around crazily and calling themselves "art."

Finding amazing music and theatre whenever I turn around.

Drinking bourbon at Zeitgeist and terrorizing the billiard balls on the red felt.

Pretending like I've got it all together and everything is going great.

Failing to find any reason whatsoever why that wouldn't turn out to be true.

Trying to quit smoking (no, really, I swear). (wah HAH! and now I get to wear these funny little round things on my arm and tell people I am addicted to band-aids... progress progress progress!)

Divorcing myself from worry.

Dancing like my sanity depended upon it.

Helping innercity elementary school children learn to better read, think, and shoot video.

Throwing glass rocks at stone houses.



I'm Really Good At

Answering invasive questionnaires.

Creating strategic lists of single sentences.

Thinking up brilliant retorts 90 seconds too late.

Being 8 years younger than I am.

Walking and chewing gum at the same time.

Karaoke in cartoon voices.

Collecting adverbs, brilliantly.

Hammering the uneven surfaces of our lives.

Reacting with aplomb.

Never settling.

Blaming the mess on society. Wiping it on my Levis.

Rafting down the waterfalls of smalltalk and pleasantries.

Consuming hapless populations.

Entertaining myself both in-vivo and vicariously.

Getting all excited about trivialities.



The First Thing(s) People Usually Notice About Me

Jesus christ you're a fucking freak.



My Favorite Books, Movies, Music, and Food are

a) pablum words b) pablum weird c) anything live d) anything dead



The SIX Things I Could Never Do Without

The great Buddha once said: "Need is not my favorite color."



I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About

Things to think about.

The inherent value and worth of prepositions.

Seismography.

How to properly communicate with my tapeworm.

What I had for lunch today.

Grinning zippers.

The price of steel in China.

Happenstance.

Rhetorical questions to frighten away burglars and lawyers.

Presumptuous emanations from my navel.

The migratory patterns and gregarious behaviours of the desert locust.

How to find another "get out of jail -- free!" card.

What to do with all the leftover bus transfers.

The innate siren song of the clothespin.

How to get the chewing gum off the cat.

Creative fun with solvents.

Chromatic opportunism.

WW%sD?

The dielectric dialectic: electron-thesis, positron-antithesis, BOOM!-synthesis.

Lattice QCD & M-Theory, laymanlike. (No, seriously, tho.... some nice quanthead needs to explain this shit to me... So I've got my massless spin-2 boson that's not confined to the local 3-brane and that can drift off into the bulk and quite possibly affect other "nearby" 3-branes. That part makes sense. What I'm trying to determine is why everyone in the world doesn't immediate think that's a really obvious possible source for the elliptical dark matter halos around every galaxy, which seem to me like the statistically-averaged aggregation of (say) 1/100th of the graviton flow from each of a few hundred galaxies that all superimpose the same "point in space" in their respective branes. Googling for the life of me, I can't find anyone out there explaining why this is a really stupid idea. Usually, for past crazed hypotheses, I've found that to mean I'm just merrily twiddling with a REALLY really stupid idea, but, hey, it's fun to twiddle -- right? Can you help me sort this nonsense out? Hey, wait, why are you running away?)

How "merrily twiddling" just rolls so evocatively off the tongue.



You should message me if:

You found my pet rock.

You like to shout "Chinchilla!!!" at passing automobiles to get a sense for how prophets must feel.

You think brains are sexier than mullets.

You like to jaywalk in big cities.

You think all good movies are supposed to make your head hurt like that.

You understand the differences in the role of serotonin in limbic and cortical systems.

You think comparative religion is an amazing practical joke to play on young, devout, college kids.

You respond quite viscerally when properly stimulated, rationally.

You pay attention to which direction is downwind.

You are interested in summoning the rainbow triangles to go spinnng behind your eyelids.

You know how (or would like to learn) to speak Neptunian.

You need someone to help you plant the dynamite under your TV.

You're absolutely sure this is a trick question and are eyeing the entire matter quite suspiciously (bonus points for melodrama-style facial contortions).