I would like to open the forum to people opinions, experiences, and beliefs. BDSM is very controversial and still raises eyebrows in most circles… What’s your take? Remember this forum is and still maintains just because it is different does not make it wrong!

"Sexuality doesn't just arise at puberty" she says. "Like other pans of someone's personality, sexuality develops at birth and takes a developmental course through a person's life span."

I personally have explored many avenues of BDSM, was trained in San Diego as a Sub, because at one time and I am sorry but I think it still holds true today….that a good Top must have a full understanding and concept of what it is like to be a Bottom. The Master I trained under was very good at helping me understand more than just the pleasure aspect but the respect and communication, which I know I was lacking while Topping others. To allow another human being to have full control and consent over any form of pain, pleasure or sexual act (BDSM often has nothing to do with the sexual aspect) takes strong commitment to your partner whether they are your life partner or simply your play partner.

I came away with many different views and opinions after my stay with my Master. I came to realize I really did enjoy many facets of being a Bottom, but more in the aspect of BD rather than SM, I also realized I do not like to Top Men…. Many say I am a born natural for that role but I derive no pleasure from Topping Men. However I do receive immense joy from Topping Women! Go figure! Frankly, I like to Top Women and then have a Male counterpart sexual satisfy her. While I observe and maintain full control and maintain responsibility to my Sub. For it is I she trusts and communicate with and if a third person is involved they must also respect the gift I can present them with. At NO time do I ever leave the Sub alone.

I had the great pleasure of meeting Lily Fine attended some of her workshops and admit her teaching are well worth seeking out. Lily Fine, a professional dominatrix who teaches S & M workshops across North America, explains: "I may hurt you, but I will not harm you: I will not hit you too hard, take you further than you want to go or give you an infection."

After all, the ingredients in good S & M play--communication, respect and trust--are the same ingredients in good traditional sex. The outcome is the same, too--a feeling of connection to the body and the self.
People often confuse the fact that they feel good after S & M with the idea that S & M is therapy, "But to prove that something is therapeutic, you have to prove that it has lasting beneficial effects on mental health...and it's hard to prove even that therapy is therapeutic." In mental health terms, S & M doesn't make you better and it doesn't make you worse.

What ever we engage in the key words for today are CONSENT and COMMUNICATION!


I found this Glossary in my large collection of fun things, I thought it would be a great forum to bring it out, for us all to re-visit and for some of us actually learn something new.

Excerpts from an S & M Glossary
Sadomasochism (S & M): An activity involving the temporary creation of highly unbalanced power dynamics between two or more people for erotic or semi-erotic purposes.
Bondage and Discipline (B & D): A subset of S & M not involving physical pain.
Top: The dominant person in a scene; synonyms: dominant, dom, master/mistress.
Bottom: The submissive person in a scene; synonyms: submissive, sub, slave.
Switch: A person who enjoys being a Top in some scenes and a Bottom in others.
Sadist: A person who derives sexual pleasure from inflicting pain on others.
Masochist: A person who derives sexual pleasure from being abused by others. Sadist and masochist are sometimes used playfully in the S & M community, but are generally avoided because of psychiatric denotation.
Scene: An episode of S & M activity; the S & M community.
Negotiating a Scene: The process of loosely outlining what the players want to experience before they begin a scene.
Play: Participation in a scene.
Toy: Any implement used to enhance S & M play.
Safe Word: A prearranged word or phrase that may be used to end or renegotiate a scene. This is a clear signal meaning "Stop, this is too much for me."
Dungeon: A place designated for S & M play.
Dominatrix (pl. Dominatrices): A female Top, usually a professional.
Lifestyle Dominant/Submissive: A person involved in a relationship in which S & M is a defining dynamic.
Fetish: An object that is granted special powers, one of which is the ability to sexually gratify. It is often wrongly confused with S & M.
Vanilla Sex: Conventional heterosexual sex.

Portland has some really awesome forums for education take advantage of it….
PLA (Portland Leather Alliance), Darklady Productions (classes and events), It’s My Pleasure (bookstore and classes), local munches, socials, forums are available, may be a good time to check out the links section in the group. Club 6124 has an awesome Dungeon, Seattle’s Wet Spot another great one; Just Out Magazine has great resources…

Go find your passion regardless of your preference.

Peace,
Miss Mars