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An interesting discovery...

missroach — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 04:00:04 GMT

While musing last night I suddenly discovered something about myself. While I am entirely comfortable, (and perhaps even enjoy) being watched, I dread being looked at. It has mostly to due with power, and control of the gaze. Being watched, I can control how much or little someone sees of me... and by very definition, there's a certain distance,whether literal or figurative that I find comforting....hell, I'm a trained stage actor, after all. But being looked at....not only more intimate, but rather than putting on the "Roach show".... one could look and discover who they see behind my eyes and skin and beating heart. I can accept a compliment while being watched... to blow it off with a smile or shrug or blush... but when one is looking.... really looking.... all bets are off. Its an act that grows easier amongst friends and intimate lovers....eventually they all stop looking for the secrets locked inside.... but there are those who look, with such intensity it strikes me dumb, and I'm unable to be the mirror that most so desperately want to see.... I'm just.... me. And in those times I wonder, and I hope that it is enough.

Absinthe Party TONIGHT!

missroach — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 23:27:21 GMT

At my place in Oakland. 8p.m. ish to 8a.m. We'll be serving absinthe in the evening, and brunch in the morning. Dress old timey/classy/formal, or just wear some green. PM me (or if you have my #, text) for directions. Hope to see some faces tonight!

Birthday Party Part ONE

missroach — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 07:20:21 GMT

Hello kiddies! I'm fixin' on having a gathering on WEDNESDAY MARCH 19th at the Glas Kat Supper Club. 8:15 SHARP. Tapas and beverages (for happy hour: yay!) I'll be turning 26 at midnight. Come out, wear your most fabulous, outrageous, fierce and foxy attire.... I'll be proving the party hats. Attending the RSVP dinner will get ya into the club later for free (bondage a go go) Come help me celebrate the last few minutes of the first quarter century of my life!

January 20th: Wednesday Bloody Wednesday

missroach — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 00:15:04 GMT

Hey kids! This wednesday is going to be my DEBUT as one of the new Go-Go Dancers at Bondage A Go Go! http://bondageagogo.tribe.net/ It'd be awful nice to see some familiar faces there that night to cheer me on! GLAS KAT 520 4th STREET, SAN FRANCISCO 18 and over. 9:30pm - 2:30am. Cover is anywhere between $10-15. Take advantage of the early door time and make it to "happy Hour"! Cheap stiff drinks, just like your momma usta make! Dress code is enforced, no jeans, no sports attire, minimum all black, but all permutations of "alternative" looks are acceptable - punk, goth, industrial, kink/fetishwear. And this wednesday we'll be having LIVE BLOOD WRESTLING! Hot sexy ladies will toss each other around in the pool for your amusement! Hope to see you there!

Come to the Glas Kat tomorrow Night!

missroach — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 01:06:47 GMT

Wednesday, January 23. I'll be auditioning to be a go-go dancer at Bondage A Go Go! Come get in your finest attire... (Minimum all black, no sports attire, denim, etc.) Have some fabulous beverages, listen to fabulous music, dance your fabulous ass off, enjoy fabulous company.... And cheer me on when I put my exhibitionist hat on and climb onstage to go-go my heart out!

NYE 2007/2008

missroach — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:37:32 GMT

Get to city around 9p.m. (ish) Begin drinking with best friend. Hit up Bootie party at DNA lounge. Dance ass off. Consume an amount of alcohol to be at 2 sheets to the wind Consume rockstar. Consume one more beverage, now at 3 full sheets to wind. Head to Debaucherama. Consume Absinthe. Consume more rock star. Dance my ass off. Consume any combination of elixirs that shall keep me in the happy buzzy place, and awake enough to see sunrise. Smoke like a chimney. Consume more Rockstar, with or without vodka. Arrive at Breakfast of Champions. Drink and Dance until I need to be removed in a stretcher. I'm packing in 8 months of forfeited weekends and days off into one night.

Best things ever

missroach — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 23:13:19 GMT

Drunken dials from best friends in Scotland, at 2:30a.m. their time, and 6:30 p.m. our time. Driving around on a calm, sunny christmas morning in the ca. foothills, listening to Badly Drawn Boy, and just taking in a moment of quiet. Being serenaded at the best bar in the world by a mandolin, toy accordian, and a washboard with a 12' saw blade attached as a cymbal. Goin' shooting with my pops on Christmas Eve-- and discovering I have excellent grouping with his .9 sig, but that I shoot a little low. (yes, that's an entendre!) warm wishes in the form of text messages from many friends. Finding acute joy in a life that is often frustrating.

Talking Vaginias?!?!?!

missroach — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 16:03:33 GMT

A production of www.SacActors.Com a Project of Theater Residencies, Incorporated Featuring Amber Kloss, Madres Story, Rachael Devlin San Francisco Run Save on tickets bought before 9/23 The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler Witty and irreverent, compassionate and wise. The longest running independent production of this show in America. After more than 200 performances in Sacramento, it will reopen in San Francisco on September 21. September 21 through November 10 Fri & Sat at 8:30 p.m. * Sun at 2 p.m. at The Next Stage 1620 Gough Street (near Bush) in San Francsico Tickets can be purchased at: http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/event/EventListings?orgId=16944 *This show is for adults and mature teens accompanied by parents or guardians. "A poignant and hilarious tour of the last frontier, the ultimate forbidden zone. Witty and irreverent, compassionate and wise. Eve Ensler is alive with passion and conviction. "You don't just hook up with Eve," says Glenn Close, "You become part of her crusade. A core of us are Eve's army." Time Magazine writes "Ensler can soar to Rabelesian heights. She may not save the world, but what other playwrights even try?”

)(%#^% Double Standards!!!

missroach — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 02:16:44 GMT

GRRR. I HATE double standards.

CAR

missroach — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 17:06:48 GMT

I need one. Car. Truck. Van. Vespa. motorhome. As long as it runs, I wanna buy it. Extra points if its something that screams out "I wanna be an art car". IF you have one, see one, pass one by on the street... LET ME KNOW!

Oakland Sublet

missroach — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 18:57:50 GMT

Hello All. I'm possibly going to be subletting my room while in Thailand. Funrished room in a 3 bed, 1 bath house. We've got a driveway for your car. Live with 2 cool roomies and 3 sweet kitties. Spacious common rooms, hardwood floors.... right off of 580 at Fruitvale, near Mills College. BART is about 2 miles away, so best if you've got a bike. $250. (half rent for over half the month!!) Feb. 12-28. PM me or call me if interested, or know someone trustworthy who is.

Your Gal Friday

missroach — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 21:02:18 GMT

Need some help? Someone you can trust with a personal touch? Someone that's punctual, organized and just plain crazy enough to deal with your shit? I'm your gal. Need braids/dreads? Need someone to help organize your home office? Need a housecleaner for a few weeks? Need an errand girl? I'm your gal Friday.

One night in Bangkok

missroach — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 00:44:45 GMT

and the world's my oyester-flavored tofu cube. That's right. I'm just going to gloat away: I'm going to Thailand. I'm going to Thailand. I'm going to Thailand. WHOOOOPEEEEEE!! 13 whole days on the ground. I leave in less than a month which means... I need to make some major cashito. (I know its cheap, but man, I do wanna have SOME fun and be able to pay the rest of my way) So.... yeah. Anyone need some braids put in??? I'm going to Thailand. I'm going to Thailand.

I need a car trailer

missroach — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 02:03:08 GMT

I cannot afford one more parking ticket. If you've got a car trailer that I can borrow for half a day tomorrow, please TRIBE ME ASAP, or call me if you've got my number. Even a lead on one that will cost me less than $60 would be greatly appreciated. I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY cannot stress enough how broke I am and how much I really need this vehicle moved.

My late blog re: Burning Man 2006

missroach — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 05:01:56 GMT

Not really a "blog" per se, but more of just a note to anyone that I wanted to, but was unable to see/find at the event this year. In addition to working a fuck-ton, my back went out on wednesday night and kept me from moving very fast or very far from camp for the remainder of the event. Sorry. Hopefully, I"ll have better luck next year.

Tribing lately

missroach — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 04:58:29 GMT

I just don't have the time. Not just to keep up in my discussion threads, or maintain my tribes or anything... I don't even have the time to check tribe lately. When I got home from the playa I refused to log on for 2 weeks.... and when I did the Burning Man tribe had around 14,000 new messages or some other ridiculous number. I just don't have the time or energy lately. I'm working this job... 12-8:30 every day... my days are gone... i still don't have internet at my OWN house yet... and the new job is internet free. (boo!) I can't wait till my new, sweet and fabulous roommate moves her DSL in. That will make me happier. Even though we'll be sharing it or whatever.... still. A connection at home, finally. So yeah. Still living in Oakland, still working, still hanging out with Rabbi, for the time being, and still just doin. Trying to play catch-up, trying to make money as fast as possible to pay off my debts, to make some to put away, to pay for Realtor classes, to go to Thailand.... and to basically feel like I'm not stagnant, feel like the crappy job is somehow worth it and feel that I'm connected agian.

Braid Trade?

missroach — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 16:15:16 GMT

So the person who was supposed to help braid my hair flaked on me. I'm bummed out mostly because I REALLY don't want to do it myself-- because rather than taking around 4 hours, it will probably take closer to 7. What I'm looking for is another experienced (even semi-experienced) hair braider to do a braid-trade. What I can do: braid/extentions dread/extentions hairstick/silky dreads. What I want done: Phase One: Braid my real, natural hair Phase Two: "wrap" braids in silky dread extentions. I leave for burningman on the 18th. (will return for 2 days, then go back on the evening of the 22) So if there are any experienced hair braiders looking for a trade--- PM ME!

My Roommate bought Devo Tickets...

missroach — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 17:53:55 GMT

... instead of paying her rent. This i find out last night from my OTHER roomie, when I explained that I was kicking "V" out. She disappeared for 5 days. She hasn't payed rent, her phone is now 'out of service'.... and the only contact I've had from her is a phone call about a "family emergency"... and how she wouldn't lie about a family emergency.... and never really said what the "emergency" was. Maybe I'm an asshole, but I"m calling MAJOR bullshit. So I cleared out her room, posted on craigslist for a roomie for THIS weekend.... cause I'm broke now.. . I can't afford 2 rents.... and told my other roomie that she's out--- And he tells me that she had a sob story about being unable to work for a few days (not my problem) and that she "HAD" to see Devo. So she will. She will see Devo, and now she has no place to live. So anyone with a stable job/steady income looking for a cute place to live in oakland? Yeah, talk to me.

Radiohead Lied: It isn't easy.

missroach — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 23:46:13 GMT

It took me nearly 5 years in downtown Sacramento to cultivate the friendships I've made there. It took me that long, becuase I was in college and didn't always have a lot of time to meet people.... and it took that short because one fated night, Cara and I happened upon the weatherstone, and they happened to be hiring, and even though she got crazy sick the first week, Brodie still hired her and she inducted herself into the glory reserved for the "weatherstone girls". With Cara as a 18, 19 at the most, year old hottie working at the 'Stone.... many of the friendships were forged through her. Cara was a "connector". She was young, she was super hot (still is) and every guy that passed through that patio wanted to bone her. Since they couldn't .... they made friends. I studied at the stone, spent hours upon hours there, helped the girls cleanup the patio on lonely summer nights, and slowly but surely began to meet the other denziens that called the patio home. (Coincidentally, most of them also call Bennys home too) After 5 years, and a pretty major life shift, I've come out with an amazing group of friends and acquaintences that I'm proud to be associated with. The strongest, loudest, most outspoken, artistic, strange, crazy jackasses ever. Fast-forward to now. I've finally moved out of Sacramento. For a number of reasons, not just the male reason. It was something I needed to do while I was still young and ballsy enough to do it. If I fail, which I still might... I can always come back home to lick my wounds.... But for now, I'm forging a new life. A new house, which I love. Roomies who drive me nuts and might not last long, but they're okay too. New work with the various temp agencies around here, and earning FAR more than the assholes in Sacramento were deigning to pay me. I'm still settling in... I've still got boxes (and boxes, and boxes) of books to unpack, more furniture to acquire, and a garage to organize. I've got projects I want to start, new skills I want to learn, and the thing is, I'm now in a place to get it all done. My nights are blown wide open without the opportunity to fall back upon my friends. There are so few people that I know here. Fewer still if I weed out the people I know through him. HIS friends. I'm transported back to being 19 agian... the shy wallflower. Where do I go? How do I start? Where to the pierced, tattooed, cruiser-riding hipsters hang out? Where do the loud, obnoxious, racous burningman people hang out (as opposed to the pot-smoking, crystal-wielding burningman people) ? And Radiohead lied. Meeting people isn't easy. But stapling your hand to your forehead on the intraweb is.

Craigslist and Roomie Hunt

missroach — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 19:15:58 GMT

This is a picture of the house. 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, 2 common rooms, fireplace, kitchen, washer/drier, garage, driveway... sigh. I want it. I want it so bad. I just need 2 roomies. Is that too much to ask? So, since my best friend isn't really that commited to moving per se, I've resorted to craigslist. So far.. a few creepy emails where their "name" and "display name" haven't matched up. I'm pretty liberal about this as my screen name is "Miss Roach".... but if your email is "mo bones mo probs" i probably don't want to live with you. First Impressions, people. There have also been "hi I'm john" but his display name says " Eric Tamera" or whatever. WTF? Are you using someone elses' email account? Are you a spammer? Or are you some sort of craigslist predator who seeks out single women and emails them in hopes to rape and rob? No. Probably just my over-active imagination So then, we get to actual decent canidates that have met my strict approval of basic spelling and grammar check, we get down to 5 emails, 3 returned phone calls, 1 no-show and 1 meet for coffee. Which was okay. She seemed cool enough but we just didn't seem to 'click'. Maybe I'm being too picky for someone that needs a roomie NOW, but I'd really like to have a good friendly chemistry with someone... I hate that "living with strangers" feeling. I'm meeting a girl tonight and trying to decide whether i should call a guy named "buddy" back.... do I want to live with "Buddy?" I mean, there's only room for one "Buddy" in my life and that spot's been filled in sacramento. No. No Buddy. Sorry, buddy. Agian, first impressions. So now I bitch and moan and wax philosophic about needing to find creative minds, artists, musicians, burners, fire people, fringe.... who also know how to balance art and fun with the real world and paying rent. And for (higher power)'s sake, i just don't want to live with an addict. So OVER that drama. And no "oh my boyfriend needs a place to crash" either. Fuck that bullshit. I give myself over to a higher power and the serenity that comes with knowing that it is all going to work out. <blech> fuck that hippie shit. I'd rather take matters into my own hands: If you're: 1. employed 2. not crazy 3. not a dramaqueen. 4. not an addict/alcoholic 5. not a child molestor, conservative, or gay-basher 6. like cats 7. are looking for a place in oakland- a HOUSE Or know anyone who is.. have them PM me.

$$ Puts a Roof over my Head...

missroach — Thu, 15 Jun 2006 19:30:34 GMT

Have I mentioned that I braid hair? That for the past few years I have put in braid extensions for playa-bound beauties? Have I mentioned that my prices are CHEAP compared to salon prices... and if there are any problems/concerns I'll fix them for free? I mention this, because I could really use the extra side-work folks... gotta get a roof over my head. East Bay to Sacramento, I'm your gal.

Doom and Gloom

missroach — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 20:43:20 GMT

I am happy. Really, very much so. I just put in my two weeks notice at my job in Sacramento and am preparing to make the jump to Berkeley. Hopefully, I still have a fab job being offered to me, and my friends have been wonderfully supportive. That guy person has been wonderfully supportive too -- and not just by saying "get the fuck down here yesterday"... more than that. He's excited to have me within bike riding distance rather than some obnoxious hour and fifteen minute drive. I am excited to finally live in the Bay Area, ride my bike to work, buy organic groceries, and drive a bio-diesel car... (well, maybe in a few years). I'm excited to have someone who's willing to help me through the transition. And even though I'm happy -- with it all, I can't help but be reminded of what Harvey Fierstein said in Torch Song Trilogy, as he signed "not enough". It's just not enough. Never enough. Why do we get into things that are doomed? Are we all doomed from the start? Just living in happy moments of borrowed time... .until the sand runs out and --oops-- that's it... its over. Now, I'm not looking for my "career" or to be "discovered" or to get married and start spawning tomorrow. That's not what its about. Its about the here and now, and being "in the moment" and all that actor crap. (aparently AA crap too). IN the moment, in each of these moments, as I write this blog, as I finish up my last few days at Spectrum, as I finish the last few weeks of my show, as I move all of my shit away from my home, as I spend stolen moments with that guy: is it enough? Is anything ever enough? Because I am happy. The grass is green. Is it just human nature to wonder about the grass' quality of green-ness? Are we doomed to always wonder if there is something more? Doomed? Bah. Whatever.

My secret Blog

missroach — Wed, 01 Mar 2006 00:03:28 GMT

I have not illusions that this blog is in any way secret. In fact, due to the way tribe is setup, more people probably read this blog than my other one on good ole myspace. (I admit, I still have my account post- FOX takeover) But this one is my secret blog. Because far less people from the "scene" in either oakland or sac will be reading this. Because many of you propbably know-who, doesn't check tribe. So I've got this itch to scratch. This incessant need to workout my inner shit splayed open on the interweb for all to examine. It's crazy. I mean, what the fuck? Using heavily guarded and coded language and linguistic acrobatics, I am able to keep the thin illusion of anonimity. But it's false. Most know who I'm talking about-- and what's worse, those who don't KNOW, do know, they just don't know that they know, and at some later, unforseen date, that little lightbulb will appear-- that moment of realization that this is who i've been talking about, blogging about-- oh, my. But then agian, that could be just me being a bit over-dramatic, self-centered and entirely narcissistic to think that someone would actually give a shit what I've got to say.

The resounding clank.

missroach — Thu, 23 Feb 2006 18:37:52 GMT

Tuesday. The light had just failed, so I pointed my headlights at my rented 8 X 9 space.8 hours of working. 2 more hours after work desperately scrambling to get stuff into Steve's van. Then that last little moment: surveying my kingdom locked inside a storage container in west sacramento. everything I own, except my car(s), the clothes in my trunk, and my soul is in that storage continer. I have a feeling that couch surfing is going to tire me much faster than i had guessed. My back hurts. My head hurts. I've had a pervasive headache for 3 days now. I keep oversleeping my alarm(s). So who knows. I may be in east bay sooner than I thought. Or I may come to my senses and stay. I'm too tired to be positive about it right now.... plus,.... for fuck's sake, I need a little extra support. But it will be okay. being homeless builds character. and the pocketbook. This is one of those times I'm going to look back upon when I'm 80 and remember that I lived a fabulously interesting life.

ART CAR

missroach — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 19:54:27 GMT

So last friday I rode my bike to Neal's shop and picked the fucker up. It has now been sitting on 18th Street for 5 days as I will need to jump start her agian if I want to move it. I bought 5 cans of high gloss black spray paint last night at the evil walmart. Today at lunch I hope to see how much of the car this will cover. I also hope to clear out the reminants of BM inside. Nick, the pirate formerly known as hott carl marx, has offered to help teach me to weld so I can attach the wings to it. This is only phase one. I have a feeling the art car will consume a majority of my artistic desires for the next few years. But for now, I am happy that it is by my house, and I may begin.