ah-hahhhhhhh...

I may be too old for that sort of thing, but it was my birthday, i was among friends and everyone had a good time.

this kitteh sums up how i spent yesterday in the wake of the weekend

(and fuck the green beer and the tens of thousands of drunken douche-bag frat-boys in fuzzy green hats and all of the accompanying projectile vomiting that goes with them)

another pointless rant

Nobody asked me, but here's what i think:

*Fix your goddamn ballcap, already...you ear is in no danger of being blinded by the sun.

*If you are wearing a hoodie with the hood up and a bandanna tied over your face, you had better be either a guerilla fighting an insurgency somewhere or otherwise prepared for the sort of genuinely subversive or criminal activity for which you might actually need to protect your anonymity. If you are a middle class suburban American kid and it's just something that you and your subculture do, you are all a bunch of fucking poseurs.

*If you ever invoke the name of Bill O'Reilly as the source of a social or political discussion or argument, expect me to laugh at you. To anyone with their own independently founded reasoning skills that guy is as credible as any of the raving loons who pop out at me from behind dumpsters on occasion.

*torture is useless because once their resistance (if offered) is broken, the person being tortured will say whatever they think you want them to say, regardless of accuracy, if it will make the pain stop

*"Fergie" is oddly attractive but her music is some of the most utterly annoying crap that has ever crossed my eardrums.

*Tim & Eric from [adult swim] are still not funny

* Joe Lieberman should just come out of the proverbial closet and admit he is a Republican

* Rudy Giuliani needs to shut the f**k up about 9/11 already, he did not do anything particularly heroic, he just latched on to it and milked it to wash away the taint of his previously insipid legacy as a raving douchebag.

* The increasing relaxation of the rules regarding the consolidation of media ownership will prove to be a bad thing. The FCC has pretty much become Big Media's (News Corp, Gannett, Clear Channel) bitch. Even though he is no longer the chairman, the amount of enabling he did to that end just serves as proof that if former FCC Chairman Michael Powell was gonna be the end result, Gen. Colin Powell should have pulled out early during that encounter.

* that Britney Spear's little sister is pregnant should not be news... because A) there weren't too many people i knew when i was 16 who hadn't already had sex; B) teenagers tend to take stupid chances and abstinence education is a failure anyway; and C) really, who f*cking cares anyhow?

* I just saw the creepiest family portrait of presidential candidate Mike Huckabee and now i wonder: between his family's matching outfits, Rick "man on dog" Santorum's youngest daughter being dressed up in the same outfit as one of her dolls and Arkansas state Senator Jim Bob Duggar and his wife Michelle (whose uterus has been pulling double duty as a clown car, what with their seventeen kids) the ulta religious hardcore wingnuts have this creepy tendency to dress the whole family up in matching outfits

rusted armor blues

To put the weekend's suckage into context, i should preface what set me on edge in the first place.

My little clique of neighbors and i were hanging out in our usual space on Thanksgiving evening, as those of us who attended family functions that day did our celebrating early and were already back with leftovers in tow.

that part was all well and good.

We were joined at our hangout by a neighbor i will refer to simply as Ms. J. or "J" for short after we saw her walking buy looking cold, tired and most of all...hungry.

Her jerkbag boyfriend had shoo-ed her out of the apartment early in the day so that he could invite his ex over and would not let her back in until the ex was gone, something i learned he was in the habit of doing.

J is a little tiny slip of a girl. just a hair shy of five feet tall and probably not quite all of 90 pounds.

She didn't go out of her way to draw our attention to her plight, as she was trying to go by unnoticed, sort of like the pair of stray kittens that occasionally goes tear-assing around the corners of the courtyard whenever they think any living creature has laid eyes on them.

After a little prying, my friend ET coaxed a tale of ongoing gross disrespect and psychological abuse out of her that had me pondering what it would feel like to rip the guy to shreds on general principle. Though i did not give voice to this urge, everyone could see it on my face, especially when the asshat and his ex came outside and the little bastard started giving us "the stinkeye" apropos of nothing, since J ducked out of sight as soon as she heard their door start to open,

By her own admission he had not resorted to hitting her yet, but i was convinced that such an outcome was not far away and J already showed clear signs of being quite afraid of him, which just fueled my dislike for the guy.

My other friends convinced me, based on information they had to let them apply a different solution that involved the unusual amount of foot-traffic of herky-jerky strangers coming by the apartment that day and perhaps involving local law enforcement to remedy that situation and that maybe since i am the de-facto party cook among my little clique if i could not perhaps spare some food for J.

I confess that , waifishness aside, J is kind of cute, so i required even less persuasion than usual to head back to my kitchen to whip something up (i've acquired a bit of a reputation for being a good cook, as some of my neighbors and i in the back section of the complex sometimes do communal meals in our little courtyard)

so, while i was tinkering in my kitchen, J hid out at E's place and the police just kind of spontaneously showed up and removed the a-hole from the premises.

On the few occasions i had spoken to the guy, he seemed more than a little asinine and way over-animated, so i won't be too upset by his continued absence, as he just bears out my belief that i have never met a tweeker who was not also, in some form or other, an utter douchebag.

So i went into friday still feeling a pretty potent hate-on for that guy when Crazy McCrackHead decided to get in my face and everyone else's on the way home from the store, and so i think giving up the idea of tearing into an even more deserving assmonkey may have been why i was that much less tolerant of the second guy's crap.

friday night bus stop fight

full moon, rambling tweeker scumbag coming up to me at the stop outside the grocery store
demands a cigarette from me even though i didn't have a pack handy
keeps telling everyone at the stop to "shut the fuck up" even though nobody is inclined to say word one to his stupid ass.
throws his bicycle down in front of startled woman, gives her the hard look followed once again by the command to "shut the fuck up"
steps out into the street and gestures at passing cop car, i would not have shed a tear if the cops had accidentally drifted over into the lane and flattened him or splattered him all over us.
"i'm not afraid of anything, not my daddy and not afraid even of god...are you afraid of anything?...shut the fuck up"
bus finally shows up, douchebag goes to put his bike on the rack on the front of the bus, i get in line with the rest of the people at the stop

asshole tries to pull me out of the doorway of the bus to get on in front of me "i'm first...shutthefuckup"

tired of him..."motherfucker, i don't care who hears me, if you touch me again, i'll fucking break you" i tell him

his hand on me trying to pull me back again as i proceed up the step to the farebox

i elbow him in the teeth right in front of the bus driver, fuck it, i don't care, he catches me with a quick but light shot to the jaw, tries again but i catch the next shot with a good block and lay the worst indignity on him.

i pimp-slap the fucker and shove him back to the sidewalk, allowing the other people who he was trying to bypass to get on before him.

bus driver lets him on but warns that if he makes one sound, he's off. i pick up my groceries from the little flat area in front of the passenger-side front row seat and make my way to the seat by the rear exit door.

he bumps me absentmindedly..."sorry" he mutters softly

"you're goddamned right you are" i grab my head and twist my neck, making a loud, rather wet cracking sound hat makes passengers within earshot cringe audibly, except for the woman who he was pestering most beside me at the stop

she nods at me with a half-smile and then laughs in the guy's face, she didn't have a cigarette to meet his demand either seeing as how she was not a smoker so he called her a greedy whore who was just waiting for karma to pay her back for her lack of generosity. "Now that's what I'm talking about" she says out loud, provoking a sullen look on the idiot's face.

i figured once i lost all that weight and muscle mass, dipshit people like that guy would quit trying to prove themselves at my expense, but i guess i was wrong. it's no wonder my bar-tab cut slightly into my rent money this week, so now i either have to pay a few days late or i have to bum some money from my brother and sister to cover the slight shortfall (about $40 in all)

damn, my weekend sucked.

random playlist: Stampeding cattle (thru the vatican) edition

"kinky..."

10. Asobi Seksu “Stay Awake”
9. Eurythmics - “Sweet Dreams (are made of this)”
9. Shiny Toy Guns - “You Are The One”
7. Soft Cell - Tainted Love
6. Gary Numan/Tubeway Army - “Are ‘Friends’ Electric?”
5. Goldfrapp - “Strict Machine”
4. Revolting Cocks - “Do ya think i’m sexy” (greatest cover of rod stweart ever)
3. Frankie Goes to Hollywood “Relax”
2. Nine Inch Nails “The Only Time”
1. Depeche Mode - “Master and Servant”

BONUS TRACK: Rammstein - “Bestrafe Mich”

if anyone had any doubts about how awful i can be sometimes...

i know, i know...
it sounds pretty horrible, but little else beside the spectrum of negatives from minor annoyance to horror and despair came out of that particular time period anyway.

I should have let him die that night, i should have let his appendix burst.

with him dead, i never would have met the rest of that gathering of rampaging asshats who plagued me for a year and frayed the edges of my sanity almost beyond repair

with him dead, the other idiot would not have stuck around too long either and thus none of those fucks would have leeched so much off of me

and most importantly of all....

with him dead she would have never come back into the picture and i wouldn't have fallen for her, and if i had not fallen for her, who knows how much better off i would have been in the intervening years of tying myself in knots while simultaneously jumping through hoops to prove myself to her...and how ridiculous is it that she has been out of my life a hell of a lot longer than she was ever in it and by an ever widening margin now. ten years since that walk through the park and the stoned, giggling ramble up the rocky foothills at the edge of town talking, laughing watching the bats return to the shelter of the little caves and outcrops as the sun rose over the desert

I could have stayed what i was and been fine with it, but no, i had to go and open that door

and i guess it really is true about how one seemingly innocuous decision can alter every outcome thereafter

----------------
Now playing: Gary Numan - Are Friends Electric?

a sudden and uncontrollable urge.

while i will never feel the urge to completely shave my head down to the shortest possible stubble ever again** unless i discover that i am going seriously bald, i am feeling inclined to take my shears, slap on my #2 cutter guard and free myself of a good portion of my hair.

There are enough people around this town sporting the jail-house-fuck-up look that i don't care to add myself to it, but i've said this before.

(once when i was 17 when i signed up for a particular variety of government employ wherein i received a buzz cut and looked a lot like everybody else before being told that certain crimes i had committed but not copped to made me a liability...a fact i find ironic in light of recent political scandals of the last 3 or so years and the second time not long after i kicked the junk...then it was a symbolic thing, but i promptly grew it back out when i realized that i looked like a bunch of people for whom i did not particularly care)

[yes, i'm occasionally a judgmental prick, but unlike many other judgmental pricks, i can and will readily admit to it)

one versus the other

more fun with the Father Coughlin of the 21st century

FALAFEL!

more fun with der kulturkampf-fuhrer

Hey, Bill O'Reilly, eat this...

i hear this picture really pisses you off