Love

I'm in love. Totally, stupidly, utterly, completely, suddenly, unexpectedly, without reserve, absolutely unconditionally, and like I never have been before. The world is made new. This time I am not love-sick, but love-healed and love-whole. For the first time in my life I am genuinely happy to the roots of my soul, and I think I may stay this way.

Rant 2.0

I am sick. I am sick of it and I am sick of you. All of you, not one or two, no this is for fucking everybody. I am god damned sick of this shit. I am sick of all the people who want to own me and I'm sick of all the people who want me to want to own them and I'm sick of all the people who say they don't and change their mind the second they have to actually put up. I am sick of being the weird one, I am sick of the excuses, and I don't give a fucking DAMN if you weren't raised like me you've had a whole damned life to get the fuck over yourself, stop being selfish little bastards, grow a spine, and stop acting like two-year-olds bickering over the Legos. I am sick of being nice and understanding and supportive. I am so fucking sick of "processing" that the next person who uses that word with me is getting a dictionary shoved up their ass. I am sick of my culture and my species and all the god damned chimpanzee mentalities that we not only propagate but DEFEND. I am sick of people being hurt because I am who I say I am and do what I say I do instead of being who they secretly thought I really was but just wasn't saying it. I am sick of fighting an uphill battle for everything, I am sick of wiping other people's emotional asses for them, and I am sick of playing bellhop for other people's baggage. I am sick of giving you more time. I am sick of being patient with your shit. I am sick of all the problems people make for themselves because they need the god damned attention. I am sick of NEVER finding other people who actually feel the way I do about love and I am so terribly mortally sick of all the people who say they do and are fucking lying to themselves and to me and I am sick of finding that out too late. I'm sick of being rational. I'm sick of being fair. I'm sick of listening to everybody else's side of the story. After a decade of this bullshit I am sick unto death of being odd man out every time it comes to love. And don't you fucking DARE tell me everybody feels jealous and it's a natural emotion and it's perfectly fine because that's bullshit, jealousy is the part of you that never got over throwing a temper tantrum because you aren't the center of attention and the star of the show and how dare other people play with your toys.

And tomorrow I'll apologize and say I don't really mean all this and that I realize I'm asking for things people just can't give and being a horrible hypocrite but right now I don't fucking care and I'd set a match to the whole race if I could.

Hot Damn!

Myriad Mercurial
Some of you may recall a while ago on tribe.net I posted some thoughts about a "relationship questionnaire." people.tribe.net/ms_myriad...4c960b5379
I received a letter from a gentleman who runs zapoly.wuzzle.org/ telling me he has linked my questionnaire, hopes I don't mind, and has been using it himself. He also took the liberty of cleaning it up and providing a template here: docs.google.com/previewtemplate
w00t! A piece of writing that is at least nominally mine has made it all the way to South Africa!

I soooo want to go to this. Fuck yeah

www.babelgum.com/html/clip.php

Quote of The Day

"I love the smell of sex in the morning; it smells like victory"
That's right, I referenced Apocalypse Now at an orgy

Getting Started All Over Again

So, I'm starting work on my Sexifesto once again (yes, I think I'm actually sticking with this project) and at this point the rough draft is done and I'm looking to start turning this puppy into an actual piece of (debatably) literature. Here's where you folks come in. Ask me any question you may or may not have ever wanted to know about my sexuality. It can be silly, shallow, rude, idealistic, esoteric, technical, and overly personal. I'm looking to craft a book for future and current lovers and I'm too close to the topic to see it clearly. So, questions are welcomed. Help me think about this from an outsider's perspective if you dare.