I get to set the rules on what we call the vagina

Some Notes on Dirty Talk

With nearly a decade of varied sexual experience with a modest number of partners I’ve determined myself uncomfortable with a certain manner of coital conversing. Because I recognize that I will encounter more dirty talkers in my future sexual endeavors- because they mask themselves as intelligent men with impressive, or at least inoffensive, vocabularies- I can only hope to raise some awareness regarding appropriate conduct for the dirty talker in the budding sexual relationship. So fellas, please keep reading to ensure that we can come to a compromise in which you can run your filthy mouth without causing my vagina to clench up in sheer disgust.

1. Start out easy. We’ve never done this before. I’m not going to venture into terribly adventurous behavior on our first romp, I figure if things continue to go well, we’ll get to that later. Don’t bust out with how your dick wants to fuck my moist pussy when all I’ve said since the removal of my underpants is “that feels nice.” Take her easy, friend, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

2. I’m going to get more comfortable with this as we go, because I realize you like it and I’m in this as much to please you as in pursuit of my own orgasm. But please don’t use any noun to refer to my anatomy that I don’t use first. I get to set the rules on what we call the vagina, because she’s mine and I have some respect for her. I’ll do the same for you- we can call your penis by any name you express appreciation for. There are lots of words out there I like to use for my vagina. There are a few that my vagina and I don’t like and don’t use and we don’t want to have sex with people who use them. Follow my lead, we’re going to build a colorful vocabulary.

3. Use this dirty talk all you want to make declarative statements and describe your fantasies, but please resist the urge to ask self-indulgent questions. “Do you like my cock?” is perhaps the most insecure and unsexy thing to throw in between the sheets. I’m probably going to let you know via moans, groans and declarative statements how I feel about your penis. At the moment that you ask, there is a chance I’m actually considering your penis. Perhaps I’m comparing it to others in the past, or thinking about how it’s larger/smaller/thicker than I expected. I also might be thinking about the surprisingly high quality of your bedding or the balance in my bank account. The fact is, I’m going to tell you how I feel about your penis when I want to, and when you ask me outright if I love your cock, I’m going to eek out a “yes” that I may or may not mean and resent the interruption. And, for the record, if this is not the first time we’ve fucked, I probably like your penis just fine, have no significant complaints, and find your fishing for compliments pathetic.

4. When the deed is done, acknowledge that our dirty dialog occurred. You can’t get up, hop in the shower, and drift off to sleep without recognizing that you’ve just disclosed your kinky little preference to me. I was there, I noticed, I participated, if you want me to increase my participation next time, now is the time to say “I like to talk dirty while we fuck.” Then I can make a joke, tell you it kind of turned me on, and we can go to sleep in relative comfort.

I leave you to figure the rest out on your own, boys. It’ll be fine, the quietest conquest can buzz with your brand of naughty sweet nothings if you stop to consider what you sound like in your lady friend’s ears. We’re girls, we want to pretend you respect us for the twenty minutes you’re thrusting into us. That doesn’t mean we can’t talk for a while about cocks and cunts fucking, it just means there’s got to be a little more thought put into how talking dirty is deployed.


bestof

Happy cat haz run out of happy.

serious bob is serious.

Her bone structure screams
"Touch her! Touch her!"

Soy confuso, otra vez.

rechazamiento sin incluso pedir

does that even make sense?

um beijo é tudo que eu quero.
e eu recebo somente elogios rasos.

i am spinning in circles con respuestas

i am going in and out of languages.

¿puedo ser pasivo?


-these fingertips are moving faster than these lips
So you can only imagine how jealous my mouth is-

the internet is a strange thing

people miscontrue things so badly. even i do.
so many many many times, simply because of the fact that there is no emotion, no facial patterns, no body language, no tonality, to convey the feeling you are having when you say something online.
the other night,
i was talking to my ex, and maybe because he was cranky os some shit, i dont know, most likely from 11 hour jetlag on his way back from thailand, well he snapped at me once again. but not in an unexcuseable way.
i realised after reading what i had said, i may have seemed kiddish, playful, dull, or dumb.
but he had said something like his dog was in vancouver waiting for him to come back from thailand
and i said "yeah cus that makes sense."
he doesnt live in vancouver, he's from the bay, so to me it didnt make sense completely but my initial feeling, was that i was joking, i was playing around, because it was obvious it could not have made any sense without knowing a background. but he knew that, ad i wasnt asking for any reasoning, i was kidding with him,
he responded with, "it actually does, and i dont have time for this right now. later,"
geez. if only we had been talking on the phone, the conversation would not have ended like that.
but alas, internet, shows u what u want to see, how u want to read things is in your hands.
oh well.
its on the most frustrating things ever, but we do it, dont we.
continue to IM, email, myspace, whatever.
and we hope that what people say is not how we percieve it initially.
thanks technology!
yet again, you have screwed us wholly!
[im laughin at this point..im not angry]
i think identifying feeling throughout dialoge might change things a bit.

im off.

-B

So much for NYE

i hate New years.
this is bullshit.
no one is answering their phones and the people who are i cant reach.
No where to go but home or back to aarons which isnt any better cus in Rockaway Beach theres no internet, but movies.
At aarons, luke is there using the internet and no movies and no food.
this is bullshit.
peace

my vacation is what?

ok so im in NY. rockaway beach.
my friend who im stayin with has to go to NJ and then fly out back to my home, SF, till monday.

I'm here alone now. no phone. just internet. cant get to nobody without directions.
SOMEONE know anyone here help me out, show me around, get me out of the house!
i'm next to Beach 90 Station on rockaway beach..i know the A train an thats about it.
i just wanna ge somewere and hang out with someone cool. for a few hours or something!

Update.

i made my page more simple.
cus im just a simple person.

im only me.
no one else.
people in this world need to lower their expectations.
<2 - half-a-heart.

Am i losing it?

i ended up on criagslist casual encounters page the other night looking or kinky bastards with wierd fetishes like mine.

i found a guy who wanted a ninja girl. i emailed him but nothing interesting except for plans to play croquet dressed as ninjas, silently.
:]

i found a guy who looked like my ex so i emailed him. he ended up not looking as close to him as i thought and now i might go surfing with him out of (compensation?) LOL

i guess people dont like pirates as much as me.
should i mention i have money next time?
HA-HA.

soliciting pirate sex.. I am the loser of losers.

i just want something DIFFERENT!!!!! FOR ONCE.

its not as easy as it sounds, especially how impatient i am.

-B

ps. go comment my new picture and i wont tie little strings around every hair on your body an then yank them off at the same time just to see the look on your face. savvy?
thank ye kindly.

A different kind of horoscope

I swear to goddess its all true. WHAT THE HELL? LOL

Aquarius (Jan. 20- Feb. 18) --

MY favorite sluts are Aquarius. Why? Because if you don't expect anything in return, you won't be disappointed. Sounds easy, huh? They will get under your skin though, so beware. It's easy to be hurt by an Aquarius because they don't want you to know what they are thinking. If they are silent but you are in the room with them...chances are they are in heavy thought. But don't worry, chances are they are thinking about you...and fifteen other things. Water bearers look at sex like it is a form of recess. They can turn you on by simply walking in the room. They are the Rain Man of the Zodiac. They give too much of themselves to others that don't give a shit...then get shy to those that care about them.
Go figure.
They like kinky. They are easy going. To them, it's a learning experience. Male Aquarians like to tease and live life in a fantasy world. Female Aquarians can't masturbate enough...Males never get the chance to masturbate because everybody wants a piece of them. They like their ankles nibbled. They love back massages. Their ultimate adventure is the "But we might get caught" game.
They will fuck wherever they run the risk of being seen or found by another lover. Don't expect faithfulness from these creatures...it's just not in their DNA. They are open minded to the point that anything shiny will derail their train of thought. Fucking while standing or leaning is a plus here. Fuck with their mind and they will follow you anywhere. They enjoy being fucked in groups of three. Think being Jack Nicholson in bed with the three Witches of Eastwick? This is a Aquarian dream. They need you to make the first move. Not to be dominated. But to bring them back to earth now and again for a little physical funtime. They get lost in the clouds a lot. Don't derail from your personal pleasure course, however, otherwise you will be just talking to them all night. which can be stimulating just as well too. Beware! They are the flirts and teases from HELL! Never take one on a trip to a Home Depot when you are both horny. This can lead to nasty things.

I'm the water bearer