Ah Love...

Where does one even begin with a topic so broad? How does one go about explaining a feeling unexplainable? A feeling worth giving up "everything" to gain the true everything?

Many poets try to explain love. It is that feeling in the back of your head that just glows. It leaves a person speechless. To find love, true love; it is what we are all at least subconsciously searching for. I know personally, it has been the focus of my goals since I was about 6. Someone to hold, someone to always be near me, someone to want everything I want, but in a different enough way so that it remains interesting. Someone who would give the world for me, for I know I would give the world for them. As I si here typing in my state of lonesomeness, I know that true happiness comes from within. Though I can't shake this sadness, for the truth is I love being held, and I love holding.

Maybe I am still not ready for that relationship, maybe I never will be, maybe no one ever is. This feeling that is supposed to make life worth living. "You make my life worthwhile" "I would give the world for you" Well what about those still missing their "you"? Is here life not worthwhile? Surely there must be something else... Many would claim that it is the thrill of the search. I disagree with this claim, and I am sure that many would agree with me when I say that the search is painful.

As I said before, I believe true happiness needs to come from within. Love oneself, and then others, and when ready, your one will come o you. This may be one of the hardest things in the universe to learn, and an even harder feat to accomplish. To be told that the greatest thing in the universe is something that as long as you are looking for it, you will never find it. To learn to just be happy alone, and then you get the gift of true love.

This ideal gets compounded in difficulty when you add to it the pain of a lonely heart. One of the hardest pans to ignore. One of the deepest hurts one can feel. How does one look past this sadness? I know ignoring it is not the right answer..... Trying to embrace it for creativity works for only so long. A simple delaying of the ache inside.

I've been told that God is love, and love is God. Well this would make sense. Both are impossible to describe. Both are commonly viewed as the greatest in the universe. Why would they not be the same? But even n this regard, it just makes a broken heart all the sadder. Does this mean that a person feeling lonely feels both unloved by the world and by God? I am not claiming anything religous here by the way, I am sort of just playing devils advocate with myself out loud. I am a big believer that everything is one and that one is God. I don' see it as a stretch to say that everything is love. I feel as though that too is possible.

This could mean quite possibly that lonesomeness, the feeling of being unloved, is indeed the worst thing in the universe. "Hell is the absence of God" Well if God is love, then when a person feels alone, they are in hell. Again, these are just my thoughts in writing... t is helping me think.

i do believe strongly that a person does not need to be dead to be in heaven or hell. I honestly don't believe anyone ever truly dies, but that is for another time.

Sigh.
Love.... Love... Love....
How I miss thee.
I wish to be able to feel love from everything.
If everything is God, and God is love, why can I not feel love from everything/anything? What is so embedded in my mind that I feel this way?
Is it because there is a different kind of love? A unique love? A greater love? One between two individuals amist the everything? A love within love. Is that what I am in search of? Is that why I feel alone? Is the key to find this love within love simply just to connect with the love all around first? If so, How does one do this?

It is no secret that love, when pure and true, is everything. love is all a person truly needs. I know I would give up all I have to be with my one true love. The answer to all my dreams. Afterall, stuff is just that, stuff. It can be replaced. After all, with ones true love, comes happiness. I believe that everything falls into place when one finds their love. career, money, heart, soul, life.

Well I am going to go back to staying up way too late, thinking way too much, and searching way to hard for something that I will only find when I stop looking for it.... And I wonder why I have no motivation and feel apathetic so much.
Well regardless, I love you all. I don't care who you are or what you have done, for when you act ill you do so of ignorance in one way shape or form. Everyone deserves a meaning to life, so I love everyone. With love to all... me