A Leap of Faith!

This past weekend I experienced one of the most debilitating flu viruses in my life. I was physically immobile, unable to move or *very* slowly at best, no appetite, constant chills/hot flashes, chest congestion...the list goes ON! It was so bad that I slept thru a party at my house on Saturday night!

Something I learned this weekend is that I take my health for granted in a big way. I take for granted that even if I am sick I can still function, move and operate thru my daily life with a relatively full brain capacity. This wasn't the case this weekend and it scared the shit outta me. My brain went limp, my body couldn't function and I was a mess. I decided I needed some outside medical assistance on Sunday but being Canadian and not having access to medical here I chose to take another route. A dear friend of mine has been recommending her Chinese herbalist to me for quite some time now and I've been meaning to go. . . and here was my chance! Yesterday I was feeling a bit perkier so I dragged my ass outta the house and went to see him. The experience was unlike anything I'd ever had and I had to write about it. It's a long one, so get cozy with some tea, or speed read it, or don't read it at all. Whatever. I had to chronicle it somewhere and I figured here was a good place.

Know that i"m feeling *much* better despite the bone racking cough that rests in my chest. I'm getting healthier every day. This illness was a sign that some kind of change within my health/life has to happen....for sometimes we get sick for other reasons than just to get sick....

happy reading!

A Leap of Faith!


Yesterday (Sunday) was probably the worst day of my
illness. I went out for a short spell and came home rather quickly as I'd hit my wall and needed my bed. I had cold sweats, was shaking, super tired, and not able to deal with reality at all. I laid down on the couch in my room with Welu the cat all tucked underneath the blankets in the crook of my belly and fell fast asleep for two hours or so...and didn't move a muscle.

When I woke my whole body still ached like crazy, my head was banging, and I was not well. I decided that I was in need of some outside assistance in a bad way. Seeing as medical doctor's aren't an option for me here I decided to finally go and see my friend's Chinese Herbalist in the Inner Richmond. She's speaks *volumes* about him and how he and his herbs changed her life. I believe every word she says for I've seen her jump from being a shy, quiet mousy woman hiding in the shadows to someone who stands out in a crowd, has more self confidence, and now won't shut up when you talk to her! So great! In the last two years she's gained ten pounds??? to her frail frame and has improved her health ten fold. She no longer has bouts of depressions or chronic illness that would keep her in bed for weeks at a time. she's discovered a motivation and drive to succeed in her illustration's as well! In the last year she's been winning poster contests left right and center and is now considered an up and coming Poster Artist!!! She literally is a different person.

And off I went this morning to see him, Tony, in the Inner Richmond which has been called the new Chinatown. Clement street is a neat little pocket of San Francisco. Fresh fruit markets selling lots of things I don't recognize, fresh fish stores with lots of things that scare me, one of the best used book stores in town (green apple books), strange bargain stores with things you'd never normally buy but do because they're so dang cheap and this highly recommended Chinese Herbalist, Tony.

When I called this morning I spoke with a gruff Chinese woman who yelled into the phone a lot. I asked for an appointment with Tony and she yelled at me "WHAT TIME YOU WANT!". I stuttered a bit and she yelled again, "ANYTIME YOU WANT JUST TELL ME WHAT TIME!". I managed to mumble noon and she yelled back "OKAY. SEE YOU TWELVE O'CLOCK!". She didn't take my name, my number nothing. Just hung up the phone.

What we expect and what we receive are often two different things. I expected an 'office' of sorts where I'd be ushered into a waiting room and told to sit down and wait until 'Tony' was ready to see me. (NOTE--I've never been to any kind of Easter Doctor so I was only going on my Western Expectations) What I got was something so much better than that! I got a rich cultural experience that put me on edge and took me out of my comfort level because I NO idea what I was doing...I was seriously questioning if a) was I in the right place and b) if I was in the right place.

I walked into a small, cramped overstuffed store. There was just enough room to weave your way thru the piles of herbs stacked up on the floor and you had to watch your head on the shelves at your ears to reach four chairs that sat across from a glass topped display case. This display case was also *stuffed* to the gills with all things Chinese that I had no clue about and behind this counter were two women frantically working. The women were dolling out measured portions of Chinese herbs onto square, white pieces of paper that were lined up on the counter top, a folded corner of the paper dividing each paper so the herbs didn't spill onto the next. There seemed to be a multitude of these pieces of paper and a thousand different kind of herbs to be stuffed onto these small pieces of paper.

There was no music in the store. The only sound was of the street outside, the sharp angular sounds of Mandarin...or was it Cantonese??? and the hollow thud or light whispering of the herbs as they hit the crinkle of the paper. I watched in fascination as the two women would go to the metal drawers behind them and fill their measuring things with whatever required herb was needed and drop it onto the paper, one measurement at a time.

Their measurement things were this:: a long chopstick looking thing with a metal plate hanging off one end. On the other end was what looked like a weighted measure so that they'd take off a 'weighted' measure of each herb according to the weight on the end? That's the best way I can describe it.

When I arrived I approached the counter with hesitation when one of the women looked at me. I said "I have an...". "YOU TWELVE O'CLOCK?" I nodded my head silently. "YOU GO SIT THERE! THIS LADY IN FRONT OF YOU!" She didn't miss a beat with her measurements when talking to me. I did as I was told...sat on one of the four crowded chairs in amongst the Chinese herbs that were dripping off the shelves and onto the floor next to me and tried to keep my big feet outta the way.

The woman who was 'in front' of me was perched on a stool on my side of the counter in between the cash register and the herb allotments. She sat patiently and waited for someone to help her. An elderly Chinese man, whom I assumed to be Tony, came and sat across from her. They spoke together in Cantonese...or was it Mandarin? in quiet hushed voices. I watched them intently to try and understand what was happening. She was having her appointment with her herbalist *right there in the middle of the store!* she was explaining her ailments for all to hear, unabashedly and without hesitation! For a moment I'll admit that I freaked out inwardly as I realized that I too would have to do the same thing...explain my ailments for all to hear! But as I watched I noticed that nobody really cared. Nobody took real notice of the woman complaining about her sore neck and showing her prescriptions for 45 minutes. So I took heed and figured the same would be for me too..that nobody would notice a tall white girl perched on a stool in between the cash register and the herb allotments explaining how she can't stop coughing.

So I sat and watched the going's on in this teeny tiny pocket of the world with great fascination. The Yelling Woman seemed to be the one in charge of most things. If the phone rang the other woman would answer it in mid measurement but invariably it would be for the Yelling Woman. The phone would be brought to her and even before putting it up to her ear she would say, "HELLO!" If she missed the mouthpiece the first time she'd merely repeat it a second time, "HELLO!"....all the while still dolling out the strange and interesting herbs onto the crinkly white pieces of paper, never missing a beat. If someone came in asking for something she'd appear to ignore them as she continued her mission of the herb allotments. Then out of nowhere she'd bark something at the incoming inquisitor and a bag of whatever it was they needed appeared, cash would be exchanged and off they'd trundle back into the day as the piles of herbs on the counter got bigger and bigger.

Then I noticed a large middle aged white guy come in. His face was shiny, happy, jovial and set off his salt and pepper hair nicely. He thrust a large bag of biscotti at the Yelling Woman claiming that they were no good for him. Her face broke out into the only smile I would see the whole time I'd be in there. It was beautiful! She said thank you quietly, shoved the bag onto a shelf with loads of other things and went back to her business.

I tried to cough my horrid raspy cough quietly in the middle of this mayhem hoping nobody would notice. Then I heard someone reffering to my cough out of nowhere...."I had a cough like that until I came here to see Tony!". I turned to see this large white guy smiling at me and continuing on with his conversation that apparently involved myself and my cough. "I've been coming to Tony for years! He's helped me out in so many ways it's unbelievable! I had a lung infection and Tony helped me cure it with his herbs!".....and on he went about the amazing-ness of Tony all the while his eyes dancing with delight. He told me how he commuted from Stockton just to be here (two hour drive). We spoke together about coughing in the night, how hard it was to sleep etc. He shared with me his 'little secret' of Ricola Candies, the all natural ones. Just as he was going to sleep he'd pop on in his mouth and suck on it to help his throat so he could sleep. We seemed to speak about this aspect for quite sometime! I vowed to try it myself as it didn't sound like a bad idea and I liked Ricola Candies. He then proceeded to give me his tips on how to best boil the herbs, what kind of pot to use, how much water, what the best ratios were etc and estimated times as though this was a huge science. He wanted to share his experience with me so I could learn from his mistakes and not burn a day's worth of herbs by accident. I was thankful for his advice!!

Gradually I began to ease into this experience....I began to relax and understand that I was in the right place. I trusted my friend's advice with every instinct I owned for I had witnessed such an amazing change in her over the years--unlike anything I'd ever seen! But now I believed that I was in the right place for definite and for sure.

The woman in front of me was finally done. She got up to leave and Tony caught my eye and motioned for me to sit down on the stool.

Tony's face was soft and kind. Much softer than that of the Yelling Woman (whom I later found out is his wife...everyone needs balance). His voice was soft and his eyes were inviting and kind. His hands were pudgy all over, as though the lines in his hands could barely keep the pudge in. They too were soft and beautiful. He handed me a piece of lined paper and asked me to write my name and phone number at the top.

I have to mention here that there weren't any computers in this store, no electronic devices that assisted them in categorizing their thousands of herbs or patients. They did everything by memory and by hand. All orders that were to be filled were written out on lined paper and categorized in large three ring binders.

And so he began to record my case in Chinese Characters on his lined paper. He asked the usual questions of me, "how long have you been feeling like this, do you have a headache, fever, are you having bowel movements every day, when will you next menstrate, do you urinate a lot?" And then he asked me questions I found unusual to me, "Do you dream, when you cough in the night do you cough just before sleep or in your sleep, do you have a tickle in your throat or is it in your chest?" He gazed at my tongue a few times, felt my pulse on both hands, stared deeply at my face and wrote down a bunch of stuff in his Chinese Characters. He gave me a list of things I shouldn't eat or drink while taking my herbs, charged me a very minimal amount for what I'd received and told me to come back in an hour and a half to get my herbs. I said a profuse thanks, he smiled with genuine warmth and I turned to go. As I did, the man I was speaking with earlier held out a Ricola Candy to me. "Here, it's my last one. Try it and see if you like it." I smiled broadly, said thanks ever so much and wished him safe journeys home to Stockton.

In an hour and a half I returned to retrieve my herbs. By this time I was tired and ready to go home as I'd been wandering the neighbourhood, poking thru stores and generally killing time. The Yelling Woman was weighing the final product of my herbs at the far end of the counter and beckoned me over. I picked my way thru people, herbs, large feet and chairs until I was at the end of the counter on the other side of the cash register. Piled high on the weight scale were things unknown to me. The man who was currently sitting with Tony saw the look of curiosity and shock on my face and merely said "It's a Leap of Faith". I looked at him and smiled.

On the weight scale I noticed this large flat white thing....I had no idea what it was. So I asked the Yelling Woman "what is it?". She replied something in Cantonese....or was it Mandarin? When I asked her again she threw her hands up in the air and shook her head. I laughed a little at this as the guy next to me leaned over and said "It's a Leap of Faith."

And with that, I gathered up my bags of herbs and trundled off home ready to take the Leap of Faith.