Stuff that caught my attention

Who Killed the Electric Car?

neecer — Mon, 19 May 2008 21:56:19 GMT

"This is a 2006 documentary film that explores the birth, limited commercialization, and subsequent death of the battery electric vehicle in the United States , specifically the General Motors EV1 of the 1990s. The film explores the roles of automobile manufacturers , the oil industry , the US government , batteries , hydrogen vehicles , and consumers in limiting the development and adoption of this technology." I just watched this and found it very interesting, you can find it at most vidieo stores it's worth watching

Lessons from the Daffodils

neecer — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 18:56:24 GMT

I've seen this before, but someone just sent it to me again, and it's so worth reading more than once. Since I last saw it someone has added some other good things at the end too... so I hope you'll read it and enjoy. Neecer Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over.'' I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday", I promised a little reluctantly on her third call. Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house, I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren. "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!" My daughter smiled calmly and said, " We drive in this all the time, Mother." "Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her. "But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this." "Carolyn," I said sternly, "Please turn around." "It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience." After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road. On the far side of the road, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, " Daffodil Garden ." W e got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers. "Who did this?" I asked Carolyn. "Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house. On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking", was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958." For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time, often just one baby-step at a time and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world â€¦ "It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. " What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? "Just think what I might have been able to achieve!" My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said. She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?" Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting..... Until your car or home is paid off Until you get a new car or home Until your kids leave the house Until you go back to school Until you finish school Until you clean the house Until you organize the garage Until you clean off your desk Until you lose 10 lbs. Until you gain 10 lbs. Until you get married Until you get a divorce Until you have kids Until the kids go to school Until you retire Until summer Until spring Until winter Until fall Until you die... There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching. Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day! Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Thoughts To Change Your Outlook

neecer — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 00:47:34 GMT

* A person who smiles in the face of adversity.....probably has a scapegoat. * Plagiarism saves time. * If at first you don't succeed, try the Presidency. * Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. * TEAMWORK.....means never having to take all the blame yourself. * Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups. * INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY. - Next mood swing: 6 minutes

50 YEAR OF HISTORY IN 3 MINUTES

neecer — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 20:13:36 GMT

You're going to love this, it's almost as addicting as the penguin batting, just trying to see everything. 50 YEAR OF HISTORY IN 3 MINUTES!!!! turn up your sound - this is way too cool. Someone went to a lot of trouble to put this video together. It is well worth the time for a couple minutes of enjoyment. It takes a second or so to load but very entertaining. This is a great, turn up volume, sit back and enjoy a review of 50 years of history in less than 3 minutes! Thanks to Billy Joel and someone from the University of Chicago with too much time on Google !! Just Click on the Link below.... http://yeli.us/Flash/Fire.html

From The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

neecer — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 21:39:06 GMT

Captain Mosey and the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he can't find a pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" by the FSM, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards". The FSM's commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition. The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" 1.I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject. 2.I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people. 3.I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia. 4.I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change. 5.I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b*******. 6.I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick): A.Ending poverty B.Curing diseases C.Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator. 7.'d really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint? 8.I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something

Depression

neecer — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 23:24:37 GMT

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day, so I called the suicide hotline. I didn't realize they had gone off-shore to save a few bucks until they put me through to their "call center" in Pakistan. I explained that I was feeling suicidal. They became very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an airplane.

Some facts...

neecer — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 18:01:07 GMT

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive-Aggressive Disorder THINGS THAT ARE DOWN RIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. 2. Nope, no more beer for me. 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

the History of Manure

neecer — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 22:42:31 GMT

(or... where the word S.H.I.T. originated, and aren't you glad that you have such a friend who will educate you on such important things! LOL) Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM ! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term, "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term, "S.H.I.T" (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

Loneliness

neecer — Sun, 20 May 2007 21:01:08 GMT

Loneliness isn't the same thing for those who are solitary. Being alone is no problem for us at all. By ourselves on a mountain, in a forest, or out on the sea, we're happiest, for those are places where we feel at home. It's when we're surrounded by people who don't understand us, and won't accept that we can't be like them, that we feel what we call loneliness. - The Birdcatcher

But wait Dr. Laura, what about...

neecer — Tue, 01 May 2007 04:22:39 GMT

Laura Schlesinger is a US radio personality, who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. She recently said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstances. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura which was posted on the Internet. Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your adoring fan, Homer Simpson-Caldwell --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No nursing home in my future.

neecer — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 21:06:16 GMT

Found in my e-mails About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc. all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back-to-back. As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home". So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations on a Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for: 1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day. 2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast-in-bed every day of the week). 3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night. 4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo. 5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. 6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days. 7. TV Broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience. 8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them. 9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or (name where you want to go) ? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship! PS: And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side - No charge.

Bet you never heard this in Sunday School

neecer — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 01:01:34 GMT

Where do pets come from? A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the Answer to "Where do pets come from?" Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us." And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves." And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And It was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG." And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well." And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration." And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved. And God was pleased And Dog was happy. And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.

RESOLUTIONS OF EPIC PROPORTIONS

neecer — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 23:53:11 GMT

I just got this from Patrick and even though it's long thought I would share it with everyone for the New Year, have a great one and be safe, Neecer A Poem For Every New Year by Patrick P. Stafford COPYRIGHTED (C) BY PATRICK P. STAFFORD POETIC SUMMARY In these 408 lines of verse it is believed that the purpose of life is personal growth, change and self-improvement. Poetically speaking, every individual can achieve a greater sense of well-being and spiritual growth by believing in and effecting a change in attitude, behavior and values. Great change usually requires great quantities of motivation and inspiration. But it is often a challenging task to effect even a small change in one's personal life and physical environment. Every turn of the year people everywhere find that now is the time to make a great change or improvement in their lives, but often fall short of reaching their goal from a number of reasons, not the least of which is a lack of inspiration. The purpose of this epic poem is to provide in heaping amounts and in rhapsodic, conventional verse the inspiration necessary to effect one of these small, little changes. People dress them in mantra and dictum and masquerade them as New Year resolutions. And they become the lip service of our longings struggling to become real, and not just heard. But they are no more than simple desires and nagging urges to transform ourselves into better people and happier lives wherein the world is harmoniously united and ever reaching greater heights, and where existence is a morally-uplifting, wondrous, joyful experience and one well worth living everyday! Resolutions Of Epic Proportions is a gauntlet thrown down, a call to arms and action, an appeal to the better angels of our nature, an impetus to think and consider, a command to believe and try, and an assertion that people everywhere can contribute to changing and bettering the world in small or great part by simply first imagining and then changing a small portion of themselves. If I stir a single soul in the smallest degree to mutiny, passionate resolve or even momentary action, then this poem--and the wild, hopeful, dithyrambic inspiration I felt when writing it--will not have been in vain. " RESOLUTIONS OF EPIC PROPORTIONS" Today, and not tomorrow or some other day Is going to become the first day of your life. Just as you have dreamed and imagined it would be, And just as you always knew you were born to it! And by God! You're going to go and change the world In some incredibly great or fantastic way! And you're going to start by first changing yourself In just one indelibly magnificent way: By starting, commencing, and beginning the day With an urge or a wish or a dream you believe, And now with a thought then a word and then the deed! --Today, and not tomorrow or some other day. 2 You're going to do something good and wonderful And something no one else has ever done before. You're going to think and dream and become yourself And fulfill the uniqueness that is only you! No one is going to stop you or hold you back And no one will ever persuade or dissuade you From thinking, believing and doing what you are. From being and living what you have always been! You're going to change what fate has changed you into And you're going to take control and change your fate! By first accepting the reality of change, And second, by making that reality real. 3 Ah, you're going to put an end to destruction And terminate the existence of war and death. And you're going to do this by practicing peace, And by simply swearing loyalty to that practice. You're going to have to conquer your heart and mind And make yourself think thoughts of calm benevolence. You're going to have to muster all your goodness And fight to make it stronger than your evilness! You're going to have to give up anger and hate And then surrender all your selfishness and greed. For I know you can do it--that's it worth the try! For trying is all you need to make it happen. 4 Now, you're going to start living to find the truth. And peace and happiness will become its rewards! You're going to learn to learn and then learn to teach And then teach all of it to those who have learned naught. But first, you're going to start to learn to listen And only teach what you have listened to and learned! And when you have learned what all the world has taught you You will know learning and teaching can change all things! And in these knowings and sharings of constant change, By seeking truth and the child whose name is knowledge, The children by whom we are taught and whom we teach Will change us as we change them--while the world changes! 5 For you will believe in Christmas and Thanksgiving And special days you celebrate especially. You will revere special dreams and special moments And all the brief, fleeting seconds of special joys. For you will especially know yourself special In order to be and become even better! You will make yourself from what you are and have made And now think thoughts of strength to make yourself stronger. Then once you are strong, you will have thoughts of courage As you learn to make yourself incorruptible! For you will be stronger and braver than the past And now see every future strong with deathless life. 6 You will know humility and apology And you will learn to stand together and alone. You will yield civility to uncivilized minds And dispense hope to all those who are weak and frail. You will restore faith in the most desperate heart And then you will spark and regenerate the past For future lifetimes who will carry your white flag. For you will destroy misery, hunger and plague And teach children not to be born in poverty! You will unleash sanity on insanity Then rehabilitate every cursed, diseased soul! --And this you will do by setting an example. 7 You will stop indulging urges, whims and vices And overcome all your limitless addictions. You will neither evade nor escape the present But all its darkness you will transform into light! For you will reject all your negative teachings And all the pessimism shoved inside your mind. You will discard self-doubt and insecurity And achieve any damn thing you wish to achieve! You will reach your potential and climb its summit And you will be a friend and a benefactor And a genius and a sage and then a savior To everything and everyone that deserves them. 8 For no one is greater or mightier than you And you are equal to any burden or task. You will see your dreams come true--you will see them live! --And with a will stronger than that which saw then die. And you will be an inspiration to others And the purpose and the goal at all those who dream. For you'll find true love and live faithfully to it. And you'll have the courage to ask and to question As you will know when and why to say yes or no. For you will become like the Rock of Gibraltar And your mind shall be an indestructible force While your soul remains an unmovable object. 9 You shall believe in yourself and trust your beliefs. You shall love yourself and have respect for that love. You shall live for the happiness of your values And learn to value honesty above all things. You will never need to beg or borrow or steal And never need to fear failure or disaster. You will learn to become humble--but remain proud. You will learn to be generous--but remain fair. You will enjoy lavishness--but maintain restraint. You will be ruthless with justice--but know mercy. And the greatest, most fantastic thing you will do Will be making yourself the best you--you can be! 10 You will get warm and spiritual and teary-eyed And learn to respect the majesty of nature. You will humbly understand what you do not know And then feel self-esteem for all the things you do! You will battle and struggle and fight for freedom And respect the rights of all individuals. You will live for no one, and live independent, But you will ask no one to ever live for you. Ah, you will be meek and gentle--but triumphant And strive for an united, liberated world. But first, you will feel emotion and wonderment While you stand in awe of the mystery of life. 11 You will do something considerate for someone And give of yourself what you have never given. You will speak a kind word and do a gentle deed And go and tell that long lost friend how much you care. You'll find a father...and cry your heart out to him. You'll see a mother...and take her into your arms. You'll love every son, daughter, brother and sister Then remember just how lucky you truly are-- To have just one person to love and be loved by, Knowing that a whole lifetime of love awaits you; Knowing that the world lives to be loved and give love --That you can drink all of it and never be filled! 12 For today will be the greatest day of your life, All and simply because you now want it to be! And each tomorrow will be as great as today, All and simply because you have now made it so! For you are determined to live life as you should. You are resolved to keep trying till you succeed: Knowing you are never beaten until you quit. Knowing that surrender is not a word you speak! That you are not defeated even when you are! That you will never give up even when you must! For yes, today is the greatest day of your life... But only and simply because you have earned it. 13 For you're going to fill your mind with bright ideas And think only the purest, truest, kindest thoughts. You're going to be proud of yourself and happy And share that happiness with both stranger and friend. And with people who are hungering and thirsting To taste all of your happiness and share their own. For you're going to put an end to oppression And annihilate tyranny and depression. You're going to suppress arrogance and conceit And convert mediocrity to excellence. You're going to demolish suffering and pain And drown humanity in camaraderie! 14 You're going to bring in the new year with good cheer And feel every day of every year just the same! You're going to be responsible and patient And always do your duty with propriety. You're going to be disciplined and organized, But most of all, you're going to be tolerant And now listen to what every soul has to say. For you will believe in fables and fairy tales. In the grandeur of Greece and the glory of Rome. In queens, kings and errant knights--and in Camelot! In all rare moments and great men of history. And in the best that ever was and will yet be! 15 You're going to dream dreams that have never been dreamt And create philosophies never created. You're going to be better than you've ever been And more superb than you ever thought you could be! For at last, you're going to make a difference And then see that difference make a difference! And it doesn't matter who you might have once been, Now you know that it is never too late to change! (And never too late to be and do something great!) For now you're going to become someone's best friend And be a shoulder for others to lean upon (The fortress and stronghold for the weak and needy!) 16 You're not going to think only of yourself now. (Especially, after you have discerned so much!) And you're never going to worry anymore Or ever despair over anything in life! (Especially now when you know there is no need To ever take any of it seriously!) You're going to learn to laugh--and laugh at yourself But never laugh when everyone else is crying. And never cry when the world is laughing at you! But still, you will be serious and dramatic And never be afraid to cry sensitively. (While you possess harmony and noblesse oblige!) 17 You will live skillfully and die courageously. And never desire death--but still know to fear it. And you will perceive that there is life after death No matter how much evidence that there is not! You will journey time gratefully and in earnest And will desire to do and accomplish all things; And make time when you know there is none to be made. You will enjoy music and literature and art And appreciate all the cultures of the world. You will be young and reckless but be old and wise And cherish the memories of youth and wisdom. (And honor the dignity of the life you live.) 18 You will reach for the clouds and then grab for the stars. You will worship the Sun but entertain the earth. You will be proper, correct and professional And commence to make equals of all your lessors. You will sing melodies of splendor and beauty And share all your inner visions with simple folk. You will flourish with devotion and commitment And relish the marriage of true love and friendship. You will become a leader and a follower And then become true enough to be neither one! You will become a star and then a demigod... And then fall upon your knees before the One God! 19 You will salvage yourself from the worst inside you. You will win! You will prevail! Ah, you will succeed! You will fly like an eagle but soar with the dove Who has, like you, learned to fly lofty and alone But somehow still glides with the entire human race! You're a born winner and a born-again dreamer Who has learned to believe in the most hopeless dream! You're a true believer and logical thinker Who will think it all, do it all, and earn it all! No matter how great the loss or how much you lose. No matter how often you fail or seldom win. And no matter how sad and bad your life may be. 20 For you will know grief and suffering and torment And how to endure pathos and melancholy. Ah, you will experience anguish and distress And how to suffer bitter, outrageous fortune. You will see all the ones you love perish and die And all your plans of certain glory go awry. You'll see war and death and ultimate destruction And know the end of innocence and of beauty. You'll see women and children and great minds murdered And the greatest, purest dreams ever dreamt--destroyed! But even after you see the worst of it all... You will still maintain a positive attitude. 21 You will realize all your strengths and limitations And will increase the one and then change the other. You will accept all your ignorance and wisdom And become wise enough to learn from both of them. You'll know how to be obnoxious and audacious And sometimes will become discourteous and rude; But you'll know how to deal with these things with regret And never fear to face your guilt and punishment. For you won't try to have your cake and eat it too Nor desire preference or special privilege. You'll grit and clinch your teeth and then grin or grimace But you'll be tough enough to take your medicine! 22 For you'll be true to others and unto yourself And be true to your word and make your word your bound. You'll speak words and know the meaning of all those words And listen to what they mean to your listeners! You'll not be chaotic, erratic or foolish And will practice sound reasoning and good judgment. And you will exist only to do the right thing Knowing that the ends never justify the means! You will strive to experience and learn to grow And then learn to become all things to all people, Remaining always tactful and diplomatic --Doing nothing with an ulterior motive. 23 For you will be moral, ethical and righteous And never, never compromise your principle! You will learn never to judge the whole by the part Nor be judgmental of any human being! You'll follow the laws that are written in men's hearts But know when to obey all the laws of your own. For you will learn to forgive and learn to forget And be willing to give someone a second chance. You will deal with crisis, trial and tribulation Then see the brightest stars behind the darkest clouds. Yes, you will know grave sites of death and funeral Then perceive the light of life that gleams after death! 24 Ah, by God, you'll see the spring beyond the winter! And will have laurel wreaths and kingdoms and children, And know of love and of family--then of home, And experience loyalty and its conviction! And by God, you'll be glimmering and brilliant And scale any mountain and solve any problem! You will overcome all your genes and chromosomes And conquer every curse, nightmare and foreboding. You'll choose a side--the right side--then right every wrong And fight injustice--wherever you may find it! And foremost among all your strange, cosmic searchings, You will search to find the goodness in all men's hearts. 25 For you will defeat corruption and temptation And create your own heritage and destiny. You'll be even-tempered and never defensive And be bold and daring but never offensive. Indeed, you will change the world, and with it--yourself But remain loyal to the truths that change and do not! You'll overcome each argument and every quarrel And be impassioned but never lose your temper. You'll strive for what you want and work for what you need And share with the less-fortunate all that you don't! But you will never grant nor accept the unearned; --You will never be a miser of charity. 26 Ah, you will get all the facts and argue for truth And base all your conclusions on sound premises. You will be dynamic, glib and hypnotizing But be of simple words and remain down to earth. Indeed, all men shall count with you and none too much, But more than this: you will teach all men how to count! Yes, you will be a learner and a listener But remain a philosopher and a teacher, And a kindred spirit to all kindred spirits, And a loyalist to the crusades of good causes! You'll be the guide and leader and the impetus Of heroes and heroines throughout the universe. 27 For today, not tomorrow or some other day You're going to make the greatest change of your life. Beginning with thoughts and words, then with acts and deeds; And it may be minute or infinitesimal And require the greatest sacrifice of your life. It may at first seem wasted and irrelevant And will never make a difference in your life, Or in any life that has ever lived or lives. But you'll give it time and patience--and nurture it And nourish it with springtime and with commitment, And coax it with self-esteem and relentless love, And then cherish it with deathless integrity. 28 For now, this moment, this instant, right this second! You're going to think it and say it--then do it! You're going to believe it, trust it and feel it! And nothing and no one is going to stop you! For you're going to find the Chi of your essence And become one with the soul of the universe! And create the incarnation of your Karma Then become everything you were born to become! For you will find the answers and the solutions Then understand the nature of your truest self. You will suddenly relax and know perfect peace And simply discover...the purpose of your life! 29 For today, not tomorrow or some other day You're going to feel terrific and fantastic! And you're going to dream and visualize visions Then make your world--and every world--like your visions! And then become a visionary to that world. You're going to live like an immortal mortal And teach all the gods of the world a thing or two About triumphing with only a modest fate! You'll sleep beneath the stars and awake to the sun And know to live life with complete care and caution. You'll greet each day with the eagerness of a child And never live life by what others think or say. 30 You'll be everyone's hero and everyone's friend And the dreamer of dreams that all the world dreams of. You'll be the height and the depth of understanding, The rainfall and the sunshine of every planet, The subtlety and the euphemism of words The metaphor and the hyperbole of thoughts, And the Lancelot and Guinevere of romance. Dreamt by everyone who has ever lived and dreamt Who has witnessed the lifetime every life has lived. Knowing deep inside that somehow and in some way All the magic of life that had been yours--still is! (Ah, and all you have to do is believe in it!) 31 For you are today--and the hope of tomorrow, And the most sweetest song ever written or sung! You are the young and the old and their synthesis And everything every life was or could have been. For you are stupendous and serendipitous And will now enjoy this magic of life you've found! Now, because you know there is no need for anger, Because you know you can conquer pain and sorrow; Now, because you see the light of evening and day, And because now you are a virgin of truth and love Who will now restart the journey of life anew And make each moment a paradise for each day. 32 You'll be the emerald smile and julep flower And the sun that blooms and blossoms upon each day! You'll be the prodigal priest of resolutions, --The all-knowing ignorance of all innocence! And now, as you change yourself and all of the world And finally and at last make a difference And overcome everything that overcomes you And change everything you never knew you could change, Right this moment, as you change yourself--I am changed! Right this moment, as I change myself--you are changed! And now, together and united--or alone: Billions of us will change the world billions over. 33 And...it's going to be joyous and beautiful! And you're going to get greedy for more of it! And God it's going to be quite incredible And like nothing you've ever, ever felt before! It's going to make your heart burst with happiness And see your spirit overflow with abundance! You're going to scream and shout and tear down silence And gather everyone up in a crowd of joy! You're going to embrace every stranger you see And tell the whole world about this sunken treasure! And...and...your eyes are going to be filled with tears And the whole world will celebrate in unison! 34 It's going to happen now--and right this moment! And you're not going to wait another minute! Because you're hungry and crazy for that treasure And out of your mind for that happiness and joy! And...and...because you know you were born for this day And because this is the day you've been living for! (So begin! Begin right now, this very instant! Get crazy and greedy and mad with the longing To create what you were created to create! Now, damn it! Not tomorrow or some other day! Ah, you will thank the gods that you finally did. And your life will be magnificently fulfilled.)

The world is flat...isn't it?

neecer — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 16:29:16 GMT

Stephen Hawkins, renowned physicist and cosmologist said that, recently, during a scientific meeting at the vatican, the pope tried to “convince” the physicists to abandon their search for the birth of the universe…..I wonder why... I suppose he wanted them to search for the holy grail or maybe Da Vinci’s code? They are pretty smart guys after all… I believe the pope said basically the same thing to Galileo about 5-600 years ago, in that case he “convinced” Galileo that the sun revolved around the earth…they were better “convincers” back in the good old days…… .the beat goes on….gotta luv it…

Having A Bad Day At Work?

neecer — Tue, 23 May 2006 02:54:38 GMT

Try Working In ICU! In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. on; Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m., all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.â€ Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Of interest ....Sort of

neecer — Thu, 04 May 2006 22:50:58 GMT

Mostly for Oregonians pleasure.. Portland, Oregon (AP) -A seven year old boy was at the center of a Portland courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Portland Trailblazers, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Deep breath, heavy sigh

neecer — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 15:18:46 GMT

My forcast for the month, So far it seems to be holding true You start the month right in the thick of things. What things? How thick? Look around at the doings in your professional life, and you'll have answers pretty quickly. Through the 3rd, get in there -- get your hands dirty and don't be afraid to sweat. Things settle enough for a period of analysis on the 4th and 5th, and by the 10th, you have a sudden, intense inspiration that tells you how to solve a complex problem (you cut right through it with your professional sword!). On the 14th and 15th, you can feel that you're getting close to a brand-new solution to a fascinating business problem, and if you pull it off (which you probably will), things could change forever -- for the better. Stay focused on the 19th. If you have to make sacrifices (giving up free time, extra cash, a new TV) on the 23rd and 24th to ensure long-term success, well, do it! On the 29th, you're back in the thick of things. And you know exactly what that means

Just for fun

neecer — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 21:28:10 GMT

This will really make you feel old....... Put your birth date in the pop up window after you click on the below link. What happens is pretty interesting. It's also amazing how quickly it computes!! Very cool. Send it on to all you think might like a bit of trivia!! Click here: http://www.frontiernet.net/~cdm/age1.html

neecer — Sat, 25 Mar 2006 19:51:41 GMT

I’m getting ready to move my shop from in Salem out to my home, I have to be out of this shop by the 3rd. I found this daily horoscope very appropriate to the situation that I find myself in *You've got a lot to do and very little time to get it done. Fortunately, if anyone can manage it, it's you, mostly because you're used to this type of thing -- the pressure, that is. Better get an early start, though, and plan on being up late. You won't be able to rest until it's all done, and you know how you get when you decide you're going to finish something.*

The 2010 Olympics

neecer — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 18:44:53 GMT

QUESTIONS ABOUT 2010 OLYMPICS Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!) Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) A: Depends on how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) A: Let's not touch this one. Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) A: No, WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) A: Only at Thanksgiving. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

neecer — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 20:17:26 GMT

I had a friend, (he is a R. but not bad most of the time) send me this mostly to bug me so I sent him my answers 18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL ---My answers 1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand. -I am for capital punishment for violent crimes and abortion with reason but not as a primary birth control 2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and Governments create prosperity. -Big business creates oppression, in point, the loss of family farms to corporations and the lack of tax breaks for independent businesses. STABLE governments create prosperity 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists. -Guns are a threat in the hands of uneducated bubbas who see communistsin any new idea. As for the nuclear threat in Korea, It’s the present government that is ignoring this threat while they look for oil wells, I mean weapons in Iraq 4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding. -I’d rather fund art then have Bush tapping ANYONES phone calls without legal warrants 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's. -Actually I think it has more to do with unfiltered gases let out into the ozone by big factories who have huge tax breaks and hairspray 6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural. -Gender roles are obsolete in this society, many women are more capable of supporting the family and many men are better in the domestic setting but neither should be forced into anything that doesn’t feel right to them. There is medical proof that being homosexual is natural. I’ll send you the site links if you want 7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding. It’s spread by people who are afraid of persecution by gun toting morons if they seek medical help, this goes for both homosexuals and prostitutes 8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. -I’d rather they teach about sex that have them telling my kids how to worship 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do. -70% of the hunters that came out to Montana to hunt had NO clue, they felt that the earth was theirs to trash as they wanted, I know this first hand, I picked up after them 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. -I’m sure this is NOT just a liberal point of view, other wise CEO’s, the President and his staff wouldn’t be so smug 11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only. -No, it was to spread more conservative/religious propaganda. 12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution. -ACLU wants all parts to be equally up held, I am a member 13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high. -Taxes on the rich and big industry are too low, individual taxes are too high get it straight. ATM fees just suck 14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee and Thomas Edison. (Dan had to google the first two names. The last three I'd be amazed if any American did NOT know.) -Gloria Steinem and Margaret Sanger brought about a revolution that gave women the right to enjoy sex, I have never heard you, or any man, complain about that. BTW You should google T. Jeffersons site and read some of the stuff he wrote, he was very much a liberal 15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not. -Not racist, they try to compartmentalize a Childs intelligence and that can not be determined by standardized tests as we all have different backgrounds and experiences. 16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge. -Socialism won’t work because people like to show off things they own so capitalism will win out. 17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal. -I don’t care for them but they are not sponsored by taxpayer dollars and are a form of free speech. Private Christmas displays are fine, the ones paid for by tax dollars are not. 18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast,right-wing conspiracy. -Just people whom are misinformed by far right and can’t think for themselves. GOD BLESS AMERICA

Three Good Arguments

neecer — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 21:27:46 GMT

There were three good arguments that Jesus was black: (l) He called everyone "brother"; (2) He liked Gospel; (3) He couldn't get a fair trial. But, then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: (l) He went into His Fther's business; (2) He lived at home until he was 33; (3) He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God. But, there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: (l) He talked with his hands; (2) He had wine with every meal; (3) He used olive oil. But, then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: (l) He never cut his hair; (2) He walked around barefoot all the time; (3) He started a new religion. But, then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: (l) He never got married; (2) He was always telling stories; (3) He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all argues surprisingly that Jesus was a "Woman": (l) He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food; (2) He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it; (3) And even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do! Amen!!!

The Hormone hostage

neecer — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 16:21:52 GMT

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!! DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: WOW! Look at you! ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: What did I do wrong. SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars. ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: What did you do all day? SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today. SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe! ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate. 13 Things PMS Stands For: 1. Pass My Shotgun 2. Psychotic Mood Shift 3. Perpetual Munching Spree 4. Puffy MidSection 5. People Make me Sick 6. Provide Me with Sweets 7. Pardon My Sobbing 8. Pimples May Surface 9. Pass My Sweat pants 10. Pissy Mood Syndrome 11. Plainly; Men Suck 12. Pack My Stuff........And my favorite one... 13. Potential Murder Suspect And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings. Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds. Here, have some chocolate.

Tequila and salt

neecer — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 19:32:53 GMT

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true. 1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for. 2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. 4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you. 5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep. 6. You mean the world to someone. 7. You are special and unique. 8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you. 9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. 10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look. 11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks. So............If you are a loving friend, send this to everyone, including the one that sent it to you. If you get it back, then they really do love you. And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!!

I'm gonna have some fun!!!

neecer — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 18:26:31 GMT

Here is my horoscope for the day: If anyone can convince someone else do try something, because just deciding to go for it is more than half the battle....well, let's face it, it's you. That's going to go double now. Your quest is to use this amazing skill only on those who have used it on lesser beings themselves with little or no conscience about it, or on someone who appreciates skill and technique in this department so much that they'll actually get a kick out of it. Now whom should I use my “power” on and what should I get them to do… (Insert manic cackle while rubbing my hands together… and don’t forget the wicked gleam in my eye)