Sometimes I guess it isn't good to share a Doctor with a loved one. Today Hubby and I both had appointments. I thought when I made my appointment, it was just to make sure I kept getting my prosac and celebrex, but the closer the time got for the appointment, the more I realized I really needed to see him. I have had a 30+ weight gain since the last time I was there, and I am retaining bodily fluids so that my rings don't come off by themselves and I have to use soap to remove them at all. None of my clothes fit, and I am more moody than before I went on prosac.

The thought of climbing in and out of the pickup truck I am forced to drive is enough to keep me from wanting to go to work, but since I am a house keeper, I don't need any extra incentive to keep me from pain I know I am going to be suffering by the end of my easiest day.

I no longer have a doctor, because as he was examining my husband I lost complete control of my emotions and told him how the cow eats the cabbage. He didn't have enough time to hear my complaints because, like always, in my head, he wasn't doing anything to help hubby stop hurting and in my head he is always more important than what I might be suffering.

So now I am being faced with the pain of going off the prosac on my own without the substitute of another drug to replace it, and no way now to get the arthritis medication for myself.

And by sitting here thinking this way I feel so bad because I am thinking of me and not the fact that Hubby no longer has a doctore either. I am in a no win situation both in realitly and in my head. And these STUPID blogs are all I have to feel alive. I don't have anyone in reality to help me deal with all the STUPID feelings that I am dealing with.

GOD I WISH I HAD SOMETHING GOOD TO LOOK FORWARD TOO.