blog is a four-letter word...

conjunction junction, what's your malfunction?

no_thanks — Tue, 06 May 2008 23:36:26 GMT

well, there certainly are some transitions going on right now. this weekend was a bizarre collision of 'out with the old, and in with the new'... i got the first shot for my film 'in the can', as it were (make up your own jokes there). a tricky little tracking shot of a miniature - 16 ft. long minature, that is. when peter jackson does it, they call them 'bigatures', but i ain't in new zealand just yet. 32 takes, and after reviewing the tape, we pretty much nailed it on take 21...not just good, but good enough. it felt pretty damn strange, i gotta say...actually filming something that's been knocking around my head and hands for at least 4 years now. hopeful. and then the following day i had to stop a tattoo session short because my hand and wrist were pretty much imploding. it didn't go numb exactly, but after years of working through that sensation and alot of actual pain, i sorta lost my sense of touch and sense of grip in it. very weird. it came back the next day, but not before i dropped something on a trip to the fridge. that's it folks, i'm really, really, really, REALLY done. i don't have a choice anymore. that is, if i still want to be able to draw or write my name or something in the next 10 years...and that's pretty weird as well. ze tattoo gear is going into long term storage. sorry, if anyone was holding out. can't oblige. bad enough i can barely straighten my neck out anymore. i guess you'll have to "wait for the movie..." so here's a still of the set we shot saturday, taken by miss magpie.

1-800-RIP-VACA

no_thanks — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:34:14 GMT

here's the video we just finished...pretty snappy for 4 hours of shooting and 20 hours of post...and suffering through windows movie maker. enjoy. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1755509512528239690&q=Sales+from+the+crypt&total=5&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0 Are you tired of the same old, boring vacations? Rest in Peace vacations has the cure. Produced by IGNH of Eastern Michigan University and Kedziplex Films; "Sales from the Crypt" is sure to raise some laughter while raising the dead...

once again...

no_thanks — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 19:26:44 GMT

i'm glad this week is over. tuesday being the brunt of the bad tidings...i found out first thing in the morning that one of our warehouse guys was murdered: http://www.mlive.com/news/saginawnews/index.ssf?/base/news-6/120645480316580.xml&coll=9 http://blog.mlive.com/saginawnews/2008/03/saginaw_county_prosecutors_are.html then later that night i (accidentally) punctured my hand with an exacto knife all the way up to the handle. pulling it out is a lot less comical than the 3 stooges make it look...yeah. RIP Stan Kelsey. he was a good guy. services and a big gnarly stagehand wake were held friday, i did not attend. been working on a video project (ironically enough an infomercial parody for cemetary vacations) with carl, many late hours but well worth it...funny shit. i'll post it next week when it's done. thought buying a new power supply might fix my 'good' computer. no such luck. i think i'm just gonna bite the checkbook and take it in for a diagnosis...a diagnosis which i'm terribly afraid will be a motherboard problem...i've tried everything else i can think of...*sigh* on a more inspiring note, check out more of this badass artwork @ http://www.kuksi.com/

all i do is complain...

no_thanks — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 04:15:05 GMT

but honestly, i'm just killing time right now until i can try to sleep again. i have not been this sick in a long long while...something to do with putting in 7 shifts without heat and a ridiculous stressload. i am SO SICK of being cold...i don't remember ever having body aches like this from the flu. if i get under the covers, i start sweating, when i get up, instant chills. until today, i was holding on, but we've got another 9 days straight to go before a real day off. the nose, cough, throat deal is one thing...but today, i made the mistake of eating lunch and doing an energy shot, and my guts went on strike: everything-must-go style. nothing to do with the obscene coffee load, handfulls of pills, and bending over to lift 40 lb. magnetic ballasts all damn week. in the cold. the worst part is i can't bear to think about calling in and losing the overtime i've built up so far this week. DAMMIT. this final push is pretty much my last chance to put aside anymore cash before the end of the season, and it's going to be a serious headache for my brother, the good boss, not having the lighting dude there to pull lighting for this gig. but there is no way in hell i can do this another day if i wake up this bad in the morning. i'm fairly sure i have developed a total immunity to tylenol, which is the only OTC that's ever worked for me...sorry, liver, but them's the breaks. i feel like absolute hell...far too 'uncomfortable' to sleep. my eyeballs hurt. someday i'll have some good news to type in this little box, but until then, would one of you be kind enough to put a plastic bag over my head and wake me when it's california?

where is the lesson in this?

no_thanks — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 02:24:11 GMT

sure, this job is turning me into some sort of part machine, part animal, part unpleasant thing to be around by the sheer volume of workload and stress...but just when you think it can't get any more surreal, frustrating, horrible... BOING. let's back up a minute. you know my manager's the definition of a douchebag. his life revolves around underage tits and bacon martinis on the playa. life is just what happens in between episodes of burning man. he almost got me killed because he doesn't know what a ground wire is after 6 YEARS in the stage lighting business. he's berated my hardships, leaves early for 'haircuts' with his girl on the side..i'll cap it there or i'll be typing all night. he's got the personal skills of a landmine and couldn't delegate a lunch ticket. point being, he thought it would be a good idea to hire another notorious douchebag that WE'VE ALL AGREED WE CAN'T STAND not only to work in the shop during the most stressful month of the year but also to INVITE HIM INTO MY CAR WITHOUT ASKING. three of us carpool every day. and it's like a little bit o zen in the morning, a decompression chamber in the evening, and where we talk amongst ourselves, hatch mutinies, blow off steam, go have a beer together sometimes after a rough day... and now, someone we can't stand as badly as our boss, is in the car with us. MY CAR, every other day. "uh, huh, uh, i guess i shoulda warned you before monday morning...uh, huh, uhhhhhhhhhh. boobies." these people are ignorant scum. i want to scream. constantly. i always want to jump to the conclusion that he's doing this shit on purpose BUT I KNOW HE'S TOO STUPID. good thing he makes twice as much as any of us. i only had to interact 5 MINUTES with the newest douchebag today...at nearly 5 o'clock, and he did EXACTLY what i asked him not to do. oh, the reason we all hated this dude *before* he started 2 weeks ago? he NEVER shuts up. he's THAT guy that sits down at your table in the coffee shop, the bar, no matter what the situation is. barges into ANY converstation you might be having, invites himself wherever you're going... has no idea what's going on at work but knows a better way to do everything. sweet lord, help me. chest pains, heartburn, neck cramps...what's next?

blur

no_thanks — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 16:33:51 GMT

after a long saturday, cleveland is ready to ship out monday a.m. at least we earned ourselves a sunday off. yay. hell month is almost over, in a couple weeks, we'll have the ny show out the door...and then we can work at a reasonable pace checking it all back in without the time pressure we've had for the last few weeks. a mountain of fixture repairs already...detroit is the worst for that. thank you, corrupt unions. and then... big changes. purge mode, logistics, dusting off what's left of my personal life and re-prioritizing big time. i'll just be really grateful to get out of survival mode. things at home are, well, complicated...but we're back together for now. which makes the moment a little saner, and makes the next 5 months alot more difficult. jesus. i've given up this illusion of some kind of break ever happening, and i think i'm okay with that.

play, pause, resume.

no_thanks — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 20:03:20 GMT

i just got my "film/video/entertainment" resume re-written this morning. it doesn't look nearly as bad as i remember. the irony being that my current position of slavery looks really good on paper: "Currently employed as Conventional Lighting Supervisor, Tobins Lake Studio Productions, Brighton, MI. ( http://www.tobinslake.com/ ) Head Technician for fixture testing, maintenance, repair and quality assurance. Warehouse inventory management, labor delegation, show prep, equipment pulls, forklift operator, truck loading. Cable and Rigging experience. Sept. 2007 to present." hah. i've been keeping an eye on craigslist for video related jobs (it's time i sat my tired old ass at a desk) in various cities, and the bay area has been consistently encouraging...hmm. i'm guessing there's about a bazillion qualified people for every one of those listings, but hey, maybe my faith isn't quite dead yet. however, the next step would be re-writing my "will do anything for money" resume, which is a little less than exciting... i think i'll go tackle the sink fulla dishes instead.

reset

no_thanks — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 02:32:17 GMT

let's try this again, shall we? my best wishes to all you who are "more human than human" out there in the net...happy new year. thanks for being there, even though there's no "there" there. i've got my next few months cut out for me... et vous?

new grist...

no_thanks — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 01:46:23 GMT

no, really: http://www.lakefrontbrewery.com/sorghum.html this stuff is really good. if beer feels too heavy for you sometimes, this is what you want. none of that phony ass 'cocktail' malt beverage boo, but this. it's super clean tasting, and i'm already writing a testimonial after only two of them... enjoy.

four years on tribe.

no_thanks — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 02:09:53 GMT

i just noticed that. looks like neil's on his way to NOLA...got a text from him earlier. see ya in the fall? hard to tell. getting some rest, aside from a rough friday night. sometimes things come out you don't want to come out. but they were probably meant to. xox

my subtle hustle...

no_thanks — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 00:32:58 GMT

finally, a break. from my life-threatening job... from the 6:15 alarm... from the cold... from the carpool... from the inane small talk in the break room... from the ramen... from the outside. turns out my douchebag boss was wrong again (insert surprised face), this time about our vacation days. we get 2 weeks a year, not just one. yesterday was my 1 year as an official employee, i had worked there for a few months as a temp, but in any case, i'm taking 11 MF'n DAYS OFF IN A ROW and none of you can stop me. combining xmas, eve, and 2 weekends with 5 vacay days = a kinder, gentler atom. without losing a day's pay. so SUCK IT, tobins lake studios. i'm going to eat, drink, sleep, and make art until i lather rinse repeat... try and salvage my relationship. make crab rangoon. pretend i'm interested in xmas. catch up on tribe. did i mention i was almost killed at work? more on that later... anyhow, this was my last chance to R&R before chicago/new york shows plunge us into hell again...detroit is in the air and will be so for several weeks. thank you, scumbag unions. january thru april is gonna be full bloody combat so i managed to grab this at about the last possible moment. and i have f'n EARNED IT. what better way to wrap up the worst year of my life than with a serious snooze session. time to start over. time to reframe, recharge, refresh, and re-evaluate. 2 days to go.

i'm back, BITCHES...

no_thanks — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 23:38:33 GMT

got a wireless verizon modem, so brace yourselves. HAH!

glimpses of a potential outcome

no_thanks — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 19:40:51 GMT

alright, since i haven't got the wherewithall to start the "sen" tribe just yet, here's a peek at what it's starting to look like... i'll toss some more pics in my album for now, check 'em out. sculpting done by my partner in crime, kiera...most of the mechanics and stuffs by me...the script is still a first draft, but we've got lots of things done already...i am forever struggling with storyboards and concept drawings, but i'll have some scanned for you kids soonish. i expect the running time to be about 45 minutes, we'll hopefully have it all shot by the end of the coming summer, then comes animation, effects and editing. and looping. and music...oy. trying to formulate an escape route from my current employment, while keeping my head in one piece and not falling any further behind in rent. it may stop, but it never ends. all my loves. a xox

overtime sucks.

no_thanks — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 19:36:24 GMT

but it keeps the lights on. still slowly building up production on the film, which is entitled "SEN". the real reason i'm still working for pennies a day at this lighting studio/slave camp is the carloads of five finger benefits. as soon as i get photoshop installed on here, i promise to float some pics into the ether for y'all. life goes on, even @ 60 hours a week. i'm officially head of the lighting dept. now, which means jack shit other than doing the work of 3 people instead of 2 for the same pay. viva fuckin' france, man. here's a shot of our kitchen table in the old apartment.

60 hours.

no_thanks — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 19:36:31 GMT

close to it, working that is. viva fuckin' overtime. ah, now i can pay last month's rent. i had opted for a new pair of shoes, and groceries for august. and i just had my first physical since high school. blue cross, m'kay? got a perscription for xanax. YAY. busted our asses the past two weeks to get the weekend off. now it's time to crunch down on some puppets n things. photos coming soon. i suppose i might need to start a tribe for the production...hmmm. better get my email working first. anyone remember my email settings? no?

may 15th?

no_thanks — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 16:09:06 GMT

whoa. my last login to tribe was 4 months ago?. not by choice, i assure you, dear friends. apparently, life has been getting turned inside out for alot of folks...alliances are shifting, bedfellows are getting stranger...it's hard to say, but it sure seems like we're all being positioned for the next bfd. my transition has been the most painful six months i can remember, worse than letting go of my beloved tattoo studio, which led to the loss of alot of close friends, not to mention integrating all my kitchen dishes into the soles of my bare feet during a viscious psychotic break. i'm letting go of the life i invested everything into, my wife, my home, and my wonderful dogs (who are no less than hairy little adopted children to me) and trying to maintain my belief in my creative work while having neither the time, money, or energy to further along most days. i've lost 30 pounds in the past half a year. i want to thank every one of you for your kind words and support thru all this...the next round's on me, even if it's non-alchoholic. most of mine are nowadays, for various reasons including watching my father decide to live or die in ICU from melting down his internal organs with whiskey. last i heard, he was doing well. especially considering the doctors thought he wouldn't make it. it's difficult to speak with him, so i spend alot of weekends with the phone in my hand trying to bring myself to dial his number. work is incredibly difficult. i'm not sure what this 38 year old former tranny tattoodler is doing in michigan working in a warehouse, but i'm trying to make the best of it. i have made some good friends there, it's a little strange having my former brother-in-law as my boss, but it's really no stranger than anything else, i suppose. mars approaches. the moon swells. the war goes on...i need to get back to work on the film, now that i have a computer that works from time to time, i can pick up some wireless access once in awhile, so i'll cut this short. we're making slow progress, i hope to be shooting by spring, somehow. if you promise to keep in touch, i promise to be touched. xox, a

new day

no_thanks — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 01:05:53 GMT

i just got back from the grocery store. the cashier asked me if i "had a good day on the planet". i had to answer yes. hungover, tired, sore, still slightly cold ridden...and yet, good. for once. went to michael's birthday blast last night, partied like an irish rockstar...met a great friend and potential roomate. generally had a good time. this morning, hung out with some of these groovy new friends at the coffee shop, went for indian buffet, and got 3 pairs of work jeans from the thrift store (which i desperately needed.). endless synchronicities, cool conversation. saw an amazing sunset on the way to the store. there was a red beam shooting straight up from the horizon, at a 90 deg angle. bizarre. took a pic with the crapola camera phone, if i can figure out how to upload it, i'll show ya. uh-oh. cartoon o'clock. and then back to the salt mine early tomorrow... later all.

3 years on tribe.

no_thanks — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 18:51:44 GMT

way to go, me. it's definitely lost some of it's original sparkle. i've been spending more time on deviant art... http://atom28.deviantart.com/ partly because my website's been down forever so i needed to find a backup joint for my work samples, and partly because i'm getting totally addicted to browsing through other people's galleries... working on freelance video, still writing and designing the upcoming film..and just got officially hired full time at the lighting factory. built a whole new computer from scratch. scratch, scratch, scratching dogs, not vinyl.

generic updates

no_thanks — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 15:20:56 GMT

it's the most wonderful time of the year... sing along kids. got my puter back in order. dumped about 300 hundred bucks and got a hot disc burner, top shelf video capture, and a usb 2.0 card. now all i really need is a flip switch and i can get the work box off the internets...i got a spare from the folks to use for a virus catcher. AND i got my laptop going again so it'll be easier to finish the movie script on the comfort of the couch...i suppose i could get a wireless card for that old thing as well. but i retyped the 30 pages or so that got lost, and i figure it'll be 15 or 20 more until it's done. filling in the 2nd act always becomes more like work than the beginning and ending. so now, thanks to the new job (previous entry) i actually have something like a crew coming together: a potential lighting supervisor, and more importantly, another experienced puppeteer. hoo-ha. if i can just get the heat going in the garage, we should be ready to shoot by summer. although, the irony of a steady job is in full effect. i got some duckets, but no time to spend them. i'm pretty exhausted most of the time. got to get the place in shape for halloween, not to mention the insurance inspector and appraiser coming next week to fill in the blanks for our mortgage. that's right kids, we're buying the house - whoo-hoo. but mostly we're getting a mortgage with the quickness to be able to buy a second car...hopefully a used element (rare find), maybe an aztec...i think they're ugly as sin, but they got some great features. getting along at work with the longsleeves, as i call them. management. the guys with desks. not that i don't get along wiith the rest of the grunts on the floor, i just don't want to be humping par cans forever. that's very technical lighting lingo. not that i'm going to accept a salary job, either. to many trucks seem to pull up needed to be unloaded at quarter after 5...like yesterday. so i've been charged with creating the identification charts for all the different cable and lighting. we spent a couple days this week shooting most of it, and this weekend i'll be starting a layout draft for the longsleeves to murmur over...and hopefully get it finalized well before the halloween shindig. haven't even begun to think about our costumes yet. and i was really hoping to build something cool that would top the recycled angel from last year. not a chance, timewise. speaking of, i better go. the dogs probably need to get out, and there's much to be done. now that my puter is in better shape i should be able to upload some more artwork from the archive. if i ever get my hands around the throat of anyone who ever wrote a virus, it'll be the last thing they ever know. xox a

cable world

no_thanks — Sat, 09 Sep 2006 15:44:11 GMT

i just came back from my first week of work in the real world, and BOY are my arms tired... my brother in law got me in with a staging company...it pays well, it's a bit of a drive, but all in all it seems to be working out pretty well. i'm pretty sure i'm the only vegetarian there, and i'm very sure i'm the only one on the floor who doesn't smoke boo all day long. what do i do, you ask? i roll cable. more specifically, semi trucks come in, we unload lights, rigging, truss, drapes, and most of all, hundreds of cases of cable off of them...and all of it is a fucking mess. who gets to sort it out? cable world. that's me... by very rough, very conservative estimate, i figure we unload, roll, and test 150' of cable every 5 minutes, that's 1800 feet per hour...which is a couple of miles of cable before lunch...i worked 3 11 hour days, and friday was only 9 hours...that's alot of goddamn cable. and it's HEAVY. feeder cable and multi cable are made out of bricks and anvils i'm pretty sure. feeder is like 2 inches thick. some of those rolls are easily a hundred pounds. i'm a roadie that doesn't go anywhere...how weird. and the fucked up part is, i'll take it over tattooing any day of the week, buddy. so sorry kids, i'm slamming the door on any new appointments. i'm finishing up whoever's unfinished and THAT'S IT. been trying to quit for 5 years and i'm done. DONE i say... after this load is done i'll likely get to move around into some other departments, so i'm learning loads about lighting and all that shit that comes in handy if you want to, uh, i dunno...make a movie or something...plus, i should be getting to work location at some shows when they come up in the area. so that's cool. and i'm finally going to get some muscles back after working in a chair for 15 years...so it ain't all sweaty for no good reason. aside from getting up at 6am, i think this is going to work out fine. ask me again when it's 20 degrees out.

deleted from myspace?

no_thanks — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 15:37:09 GMT

can anyone log on over at hell on earth dot com and see if my profile's gone? "Invalid Friend ID. This user has either cancelled their membership, or their account has been deleted." that's what i got when i tried to log on. i know they're constantly having server issues over there, and i certainly haven't been on there more than 30 minutes of my life, so offending tom is pretty unlikely...

escape to new york

no_thanks — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 16:06:36 GMT

oh man, it's been awhile... my lovely wife and i are heading out tomorrow for gotham city, visiting friends and family, and hitting alex grey's cosm: http://www.cosm.org/ *not* alex grey's chasm, which i have no interest in. along for the ride: a2 and mr. b, and with any luck we'll be meeting up with brother Om. i'm gonna miss those puppies while we're gone, and i'm a little concerned about what shape the garden is gonna be in when we get back...the cucumber onslaught has already begun, and the great wall of 'maters isn't far behind.... *sigh* what can ya do...? also, i'll be taking pandora (the puter from hell) with me and dumping it in my dad's lap, hopefully he can perform his left brain voodoo on it and exterminate zee buggies... actually, it's not even hope, he's as good with them as i'm bad with them. sometimes i just call him and wave the phone over it and it's fixed. so yeah...be back next week with tales of east coast insanity. ta!

oh, and btw...

no_thanks — Tue, 04 Jul 2006 21:24:45 GMT

i've been in virus hell since friday... still rebuilding my machine...GRRR! so i'll catch up to you kids later...

12 hours on myspace

no_thanks — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 18:34:02 GMT

"Hello Pretty One !!! What are the dreams and desires of such beauty in female human form?I want to know.I want to see a smile on your beautiful face and be the reason that it is there. Your body,your mind and your soul are truely a work of art a true master piece.You are something so very special and need to be treated as such.I hope to one day get the chance to do so.........I read your profile and would be very glad to talk with you in real time, to start our relationship.I'm gentle and passionate man with a velvet sight and tender hands, kind heart and purposeful, resolute character. I can be soft and gentle as a cat, and I can be a passionate lioness with my unique lion. I very romantic and very much love a life! In fact in it so a lot of interesting! Very much I like to travel, meet interesting an pls if u wanna get to contact me real fast i mean to know each other better u can IM me on this yahoo ID ashingba_alleyesonme@yahoo.com u can as the same drop urs too thank u. "

happy 4/20 ya filthy hippies...

no_thanks — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 22:04:45 GMT

i'm high up in my upstairs in my house of residence right now... listening to the *exceptional* new tool album and i just painted the walls a very pleasing indigo/periwinkle color. film at 11.