Woke up around 4 AM this morning, after what was a series of nightmares. I jotted down several notes, things that stuck out or that I felt I’d forget later but probably should remember. Definitely one of my more interesting dreams in months. The following is from those notes.

Awoke abruptly, the room seemed far too bright to still be nighttime and I feared that I slept through my alarm and missed my ride to work. The lighting, however, wasn’t right for any time of day. Artificial twilight. So I looked to my alarm clock and couldn’t read the numbers. They were just scrambled. Studying this I then noticed from my periphery stood a figure near the entrance to my apartment, but I could only see him from the corner of my eye. When I’d attempt to look directly at him, he’d shift positions so that he always remained just out of dead on focus. My heart started racing.

I wanted to yell, “Who the fuck are you?!” but couldn’t open my mouth to form the words and instead made a series of guttural sounds. My pocket knife rested next to my computer, which is next to my futon where I laid. Thought to just leap up, grab the knife and stab him. But when I made to move I found that aside from my head, the remainder of my body refused to cooperate. He came closer to me. He smelled of cinnamon and was dressed in shadows, that is, I couldn’t tell what he was wearing because the shadows would cater to his movement. I wanted to scream.

He put his index finger to my lips and disappeared. I then sat up and realized my t-shirt and boxers were soaked in sweat. I noticed two rats on the floor, in front of the television and staring at me. One is a large black rat, female. The other, a tiny white rat, also female. They were clean rats, ones you’d purchase at a pet store. I picked them both up. The smaller white rat ran up my left arm and snuggled herself in where my neck and collar meet. I could feel her heartbeat and tilted my head to the left while raising my shoulder to give her a tiny squeeze, just enough to let her know she’s welcome there.

I held the larger black rat with both hands. She stares at me. She wants to go outside, I think. I walk over to the entrance of my apartment, shifted the rat’s weight from both hands to just holding her with my right so I’d be free to open the door, and as I’m turning the knob she bites me on the index finger. I curse and put her back down on the floor. She darts across the room, back to the futon. The tiny white rat runs down my body and follows the black rat. They both rest on a pillow.

I then sense the figure dressed in shadows again. He’s in my restroom. This time I do grab my knife and walk in. Nobody is there. What is in there, however, is another door, one that only exists “when the stars are right.” I open that door and walk through.

I’m outside and where what appears to be the school I attended in the 3rd and 4th grade (Field Elementary, which by the way was demolished several years back in real life, the last time I went to California I visited Field to discover it had been turned into a field. Really. Funny, that). It’s still artificial twilight outside. The school rests in the middle of a desert. I don’t see this but know that’s the case. There are people here, many people, mostly inside the school cafeteria. I think this place is no longer a school but a hippy commune. That just seems like what it is, but maybe a little more like the Manson era Spahn Ranch. The people here just don’t seem right.

Walking into the cafeteria I am greeted by L. (the girl I had the pregnancy scare with last year in real life). She appears physically sick. Actually, everyone seems a little sick. I think that maybe it’s an infirmary but that doesn’t seem right. No, it’s more like a little hippy commune. L. and I talk.

“Why are you here?” she asks.

“I came through the door because the stars are right.”

“They’re never right, but I’m glad you’re still reading Chambers.” [note: Robert Chambers wrote the King in Yellow, the only book to ever give me bizarre dreams. Very Lovecraftian, in fact it influenced Lovecraft’s Cthulu Myhos]

“Yeah, well I do what I can, right?”

She mumbles something that sounds English but wasn’t, like I should understand her but don’t. I ask her to repeat herself.

“Brian, what if you were to just take me right here? Right on the table? Nobody cares. You’re in a Free Zone right now, not even Kraig would mind.”

I think Kraig is her boyfriend. He’s also somehow a leader within this community, but not THE leader. And upon that revelation I also understand that this isn’t a group of hippies, but zombies. I want to laugh initially, because zombies never scared me before, in fact I find the whole thought of zombies to be funny. I’ve entered a bad 70s horror movie. Awesome. But then the thought really sinks in: I’m surrounded by zombies. Whoa. But I don’t overreact. I also understand that as long as I remain calm, none of zombies will attack me. They’ll think I’m just one of them, just not as sickly looking.

L. takes my hand and walks me out of the cafeteria. She asks me again if I’d like to. I tell her that I’m in a relationship.

She says, “But you were always against monogamy. You said it’s unnatural for humans to be that way.”

I reply, “Yeah, monogamy is unnatural, but humans do unnatural things all the time and sometimes it’s in their best interest. Heck, love is unnatural; it’s the mutant byproduct of poetry and mathematics.”

She smiled, “They’re never right, but I’m glad you’re still reading Chambers.” She kisses me on the forehead.

I wake up.