n.o.stalgia (and stuff, umm, yeah)

Of Atheism...

NonValidePourVoyager — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 22:47:10 GMT

The following definition of Atheism was given to the Supreme Court of the United States in the case of Murray v. Curlett, 374 U.S. 203, 83 S. Ct. 1560, 10 L.Ed.2d (MD, 1963), to remove reverential Bible reading and oral unison recitation of the Lord's Prayer in the public schools. “Your petitioners are Atheists and they define their beliefs as follows. An Atheist loves his fellow man instead of god. An Atheist believes that heaven is something for which we should work now – here on earth for all men together to enjoy. An Atheist believes that he can get no help through prayer but that he must find in himself the inner conviction, and strength to meet life, to grapple with it, to subdue it and enjoy it. An Atheist believes that only in a knowledge of himself and a knowledge of his fellow man can he find the understanding that will help to a life of fulfillment. He seeks to know himself and his fellow man rather than to know a god. An Atheist believes that a hospital should be built instead of a church. An Atheist believes that a deed must be done instead of a prayer said. An Atheist strives for involvement in life and not escape into death. He wants disease conquered, poverty vanquished, war eliminated. He wants man to understand and love man. He wants an ethical way of life. He believes that we cannot rely on a god or channel action into prayer nor hope for an end of troubles in a hereafter. He believes that we are our brother's keepers; and are keepers of our own lives; that we are responsible persons and the job is here and the time is now.” Taken from: http://www.atheists.org/Atheism/

Sarcasm Seen as Evolutionary Survival Skill

NonValidePourVoyager — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 16:22:49 GMT

Sarcasm Seen as Evolutionary Survival Skill Meredith F. Small LiveScience's Human Nature Columnist LiveScience.com 2 hours, 32 minutes ago Humans are fundamentally social animals. Our social nature means that we interact with each other in positive, friendly ways, and it also means we know how to manipulate others in a very negative way. Neurophysiologist Katherine Rankin at the University of California, San Francisco, has also recently discovered that sarcasm, which is both positively funny and negatively nasty, plays an important part in human social interaction. So what? I mean really, who cares? Oh for God's sake. Don't you have anything better to do that read this column? According to Dr. Rankin, if you didn't get the sarcastic tone of the previous sentences you must have some damage to your parahippocampal gyrus which is located in the right brain. People with dementia, or head injuries in that area, often lose the ability to pick up on sarcasm, and so they don't respond in a socially appropriate ways. Presumably, this is a pathology, which in turn suggests that sarcasm is part of human nature and probably an evolutionarily good thing. How might something so, well, sarcastic as sarcasm, be part of the human social toolbox? Evolutionary biologists claim that sociality is what has made humans such a successful species. We are masters at what anthropologists and others call "social intelligence." We recognize and keep track of hundreds of relationships, and we easily distinguish between enemies and friends. More important, we run our lives by social calculation. A favor is mentally recorded and paid back, sometimes many years later. Likewise, insults are marked down on the mental score card in indelible ink. And we are constantly bickering and making up, even with people we love. Sarcasm, then, is a verbal hammer that connects people in both a negative and positive way. We know that sense of humor is important to relationships; if someone doesn't get your jokes, they aren't likely to be your friend (or at least that's my bottom line about friendship). Sarcasm is simply humor's dark side, and it would be just as disconcerting if a friend didn't get your snide remarks. It's also easy to imagine how sarcasm might be selected over time as evolutionarily crucial. Imagine two ancient humans running across the savannah with a hungry lion in pursuit. One guy says to the other, "Are we having fun yet?" and the other just looks blank and stops to figure out what in the world his pal meant by that remark. End of friendship, end of one guy's contribution to the future of the human gene pool. Fast forward a few million years and the network of human relationships is wider and more complex, and just as important to survival. The corporate chairman throws out a sarcastic remark and those who "get" it laugh, smile, and gain favor. In the same way, if the chair never makes a remark, sarcastic people are making them behind his or her back, forming a clique by their mutually negative, but funny, comments. Either way, sarcasm plays a role in making and breaking alliances and friendship. Thanks goodness, because life without out sarcasm would be a dull and way too nice place to be, if you ask me. Taken from: http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20080620/sc_livescience/sarcasmseenasevolutionarysurvivalskill

Just a little more to disturb you...

NonValidePourVoyager — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:34:07 GMT

OVER A BARREL By ARIEL COHEN May 11, 2008 -- As you go deeper into debt filling up your tank with $4 gas this weekend, look on the bright side - you're helping to fund countries that hate you. From Russia to Iran to Venezuela, America's adversaries are splurging on oil windfalls, while programs directed against Uncle Sam and his allies are funded by petroleum revenues. Big bucks are allowing the oil sultans and dictators to intimidate US allies, buy politicians and academics, and purchase election outcomes. Oil prices are going up partly because of supply and speculation - but also because these countries can decide to punish the US or limit our influence, particularly when they disagree with policies toward Iraq and Israel. Part of the reason they can do this is that governments of the Oil Producing and Exporting Countries (OPEC) cartel, and the non-cartel producers like Russia, make sure that international oil companies do not own reserves in the ground. Exxon, for instance, spent only 4 percent of its exploration budget in the Middle East last year - local governments do not allow Western companies to take control of their own destiny. Thus, the global oil production is at the mercy of opaque and corrupt national oil companies, while the governments that own them enjoy skyrocketing oil prices and the growing, mindboggling wealth. The revenues of the major oil producing countries have quadrupled in three years. Since 9/11, oil prices have more than quintupled. This year Europe and the US will spend approximately $2 trillion on imported oil, while the world will spend close to $3 trillion. This money recycles back to the US and the West, often in the most legitimate ways. Sovereign Investment Funds have acquired large chunks of America's financial flagships: Citigroup, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, Blackstone and the Carlyle Group. A foreign government acquiring a serious stake in US corporate gems can influence US policies in the Middle East and elsewhere. The oil sheikhs can "tweak" attitudes towards extremism and terrorism, and buy access to politicians through lobbying and campaign contributions. In the future, these funds may acquire defense and technology flagships: Boeing, General Electric, Lockheed Martin and others, or go after primary media assets, from CNN to FOX. However, oil revenues may be used in much more sinister ways. Money can buy nuclear weapons programs, ballistic missile arsenals, and other arms. It can also pay for terrorist armies. Today's attempt to overthrow the pro-American government in Lebanon is bankrolled by Iran. Hezbollah is a wholly-owned Iranian subsidiary. Its chief has the official title of the "representative of Iran's Supreme Leader" in Lebanon. Iran paid for the 27,000 rockets Hezbollah has aimed at Israel. Iran also buys Hamas weapons and popularity in Gaza. In a recent children's TV broadcast by Hamas' Al Aqsa TV, a "Hamasnik" boy is shown assassinating President George W. Bush in the Oval Office and declaring that the White House will be turned into a mosque. Money may not buy you love, but it sure pays for propaganda. Al Jazeera, the Qatari Arabic and English language TV is a propaganda arm with global reach. Viciously anti-American, it talks to tens of millions of Arabic speaking Muslims worldwide, as well as audiences in Pakistan, India, London and Detroit. Saudi Arabia, the cradle of Salafi-Jihadi ideology known as Wahhabism, is financing hundreds of religious seminaries (madrassahs), educating generations of US-hating and anti-Semitic Muslim extremists from Michigan to Manila. Some of them will pick up arms to fight the US and its allies in Iraq and Afghanistan. Wahhabis deny other religions the right to exist in dignity, as a recent religious ruling (fatwa) in Saudi Arabia demonstrated. Two journalists who argued for tolerance were sentenced to death. In the US a majority of mosques partake of Saudi and Gulf largesse. The Saudis often provide religious leaders (imams), textbooks and curricula, to Muslim communities and schools. There is little to no control as far as the content of the teachings or school books, but a Freedom House study found that these are anti-Christian, anti-Jewish, anti-American and anti-Israel. Despite trips by President George Bush and Vice President Cheney, Saudi Arabia refuses to increase output - and why would they? They can use it as leverage to get their way, particularly in Israel. Riyyadh also employs an army of lobbyists and other "influencers" in Washington, London, Brussels and elsewhere around the world. These shadow mercenaries promote a benign image for the Kingdom. They appear on TV, write newspaper and journal articles, direct university programs on Islamic or Middle Eastern studies. Saudi princes have poured tens of millions into prestigious universities, from Georgetown and Harvard to Cambridge and Edinburgh. Former senior government officials and ambassadors are on the royal payroll influencing their colleagues in the diplomatic service. This is how the Saudi "peace plan" calling for undermining Israel through a massive influx of Palestinian "refugees" received US support at the highest levels. This is how the Carter Center in Atlanta ended up taking millions in Gulf oil money. This is why Jimmy Carter looks like he's shilling for the Iranian-Saudi client, Hamas. If all this were not enough, Hugo Chavez, the socialist-fascist ruler of Venezuela, is spending billions in dollar oil subsidies to assemble an empire of dependencies in Latin America. According to evidence on a laptop taken from a dead guerilla leader in the neighboring Ecuador, Chavez supports the FARC narco-guerillas who are attempting to overthrow the democratically-elected government of President Alvaro Uribe of Colombia. Chavez, an ally of Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, provides cheap oil and loans to Daniel Ortega and his wife, the Sandinista rulers of Nicaragua. Chavez also supports leftist leaders and forces in Cuba, Ecuador, Bolivia and Paraguay. Their intent is to deny the US influence and allies in South America, and ease the way for an Iranian-Hezbollah penetration of the Southern Cone. Russian leaders, more anti-American today than ever, have written the book on using money and energy muscle to buy friends and influence neighbors. They made an example out of Ukraine, by cutting gas supply to it on New Year's Day for four days. They also intimidated France and Germany into bucking the US at the Bucharest NATO summit and objecting to Georgia and Ukraine being issued a North Atlantic Treaty Association membership plan. Russia's Gazprom has hired former German Chancellor Gerhardt Schroeder as the Chairman of a pipeline consortium, and made a similar offer to former Italian Prime Minister and the top Eurocrat Romano Prodi. Vladimir Putin does brisk energy business with Silvio Berlusconi, and with the French President Nicolas Sarcozy, though both are considered pro-American. German businessmen enthusiastically lobby Chancellor Angela Merkel on the Kremlin's behalf. Russia, some argue, has more clout today in Europe than Washington. Finally, Iran, Russia, Venezuela, and even US friend Kuwait are dumping the greenback in favor of the Euro in energy transactions. This is likely to decrease demand and increase the supply of dollars, sending the US currency into a tailspin. Weaker dollars and higher inflation may add insult to injury in the prolonged process of America's economic deterioration. To stave it off and to combat its oil-rich adversaries, the US needs, in the short term, to expand its domestic energy sector. Increasing oil and gas production in the West, along the Pacific and Atlantic continental shelf, and in Alaska will help, and so will a coal and nuclear power build-up. The US Congress should also abolish corn ethanol subsidy and lift tariffs on the really competitive ethanol made from sugar cane. Brazil and Africa can produce more ethanol than Iowa and Nebraska. However, in the long term, more advanced technological solutions are vital to stem the global wealth redistribution to OPEC potentates and other America-haters. World powers have risen and fallen over major economic factors. This should never be the case of our nation. The oil potentates should know that the US will not be intimidated - or bankrupted out of existence. --- Ariel Cohen, Ph.D., is Senior Research Fellow in International Energy Security at The Heritage Foundation and the author of The Real World, a weekly column published in The Middle East Times. Article taken from: http://www.nypost.com/php/pfriendly/print.php?url=http://www.nypost.com/seven/05112008/postopinion/opedcolumnists/over_a_barrel_110289.htm

disgusted

NonValidePourVoyager — Fri, 30 May 2008 22:38:38 GMT

Please read the following blog... http://undergroundunbeliever.blogspot.com/2008/05/some-exciting-newsabout-ad.html I don't even know what to say that hasn't already been addressed on the blog or the subsequent comments on that blog. I'm just...fucking shocked.

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

NonValidePourVoyager — Fri, 16 May 2008 14:44:55 GMT

The health benefits of sex extend well beyond the bedroom. Turns out sex is good for you in ways you may never have imagined. By Kathleen Doheny When you're in the mood, it's a sure bet that the last thing on your mind is boosting your immune system or maintaining a healthy weight. Yet good sex offers those health benefits and more. That's a surprise to many people, says Joy Davidson, PhD, a New York psychologist and sex therapist. "Of course, sex is everywhere in the media," she says. "But the idea that we are vital, sexual creatures is still looked at in some cases with disgust or in other cases a bit of embarrassment. So to really take a look at how our sexuality adds to our life and enhances our life and our health, both physical and psychological, is eye-opening for many people." Sex does a body good in a number of ways, according to Davidson and other experts. The benefits aren't just anecdotal or hearsay -- each of these 10 health benefits of sex is backed by scientific scrutiny. Among the benefits of healthy loving in a relationship: 1. Sex Relieves Stress A big health benefit of sex is lower blood pressure and overall stress reduction, according to researchers from Scotland who reported their findings in the journal Biological Psychology. They studied 24 women and 22 men who kept records of their sexual activity. Then the researchers subjected them to stressful situations -- such as speaking in public and doing verbal arithmetic -- and noted their blood pressure response to stress. Those who had intercourse had better responses to stress than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or abstained. Another study published in the same journal found that frequent intercourse was associated with lower diastolic blood pressure in cohabiting participants. Yet other research found a link between partner hugs and lower blood pressure in women. 2. Sex Boosts Immunity Good sexual health may mean better physical health. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections. Scientists at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., took samples of saliva, which contain IgA, from 112 college students who reported the frequency of sex they had. Those in the "frequent" group -- once or twice a week -- had higher levels of IgA than those in the other three groups -- who reported being abstinent, having sex less than once a week, or having it very often, three or more times weekly. 3. Sex Burns Calories Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Doubling up, you could drop that pound in 21 hour-long sessions. "Sex is a great mode of exercise," says Patti Britton, PhD, a Los Angeles sexologist and president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators and Therapists. It takes work, from both a physical and psychological perspective, to do it well, she says. 4. Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health While some older folks may worry that the efforts expended during sex could cause a stroke, that's not so, according to researchers from England. In a study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, scientists found frequency of sex was not associated with stroke in the 914 men they followed for 20 years. And the heart health benefits of sex don't end there. The researchers also found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half for the men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month. 5. Sex Boosts Self-Esteem Boosting self-esteem was one of 237 reasons people have sex, collected by University of Texas researchers and published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. That finding makes sense to Gina Ogden, PhD, a sex therapist and marriage and family therapist in Cambridge, Mass., although she finds that those who already have self-esteem say they sometimes have sex to feel even better. "One of the reasons people say they have sex is to feel good about themselves," she tells WebMD. "Great sex begins with self-esteem, and it raises it. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it." 6. Sex Improves Intimacy Having sex and orgasms increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, which helps us bond and build trust. Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh and the University of North Carolina evaluated 59 premenopausal women before and after warm contact with their husbands and partners ending with hugs. They found that the more contact, the higher the oxytocin levels. "Oxytocin allows us to feel the urge to nurture and to bond," Britton says. Higher oxytocin has also been linked with a feeling of generosity. So if you're feeling suddenly more generous toward your partner than usual, credit the love hormone. 7. Sex Reduces Pain As the hormone oxytocin surges, endorphins increase, and pain declines. So if your headache, arthritis pain, or PMS symptoms seem to improve after sex, you can thank those higher oxytocin levels. In a study published in the Bulletin of Experimental Biology and Medicine, 48 volunteers who inhaled oxytocin vapor and then had their fingers pricked lowered their pain threshold by more than half. 8. Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk Frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men, may reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life, Australian researchers reported in the British Journal of Urology International. When they followed men diagnosed with prostate cancer and those without, they found no association of prostate cancer with the number of sexual partners as the men reached their 30s, 40s, and 50s. But they found men who had five or more ejaculations weekly while in their 20s reduced their risk of getting prostate cancer later by a third. Another study, reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, found that frequent ejaculations, 21 or more a month, were linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men, as well, compared with less frequent ejaculations of four to seven monthly. 9. Sex Strengthens Pelvic Floor Muscles For women, doing a few pelvic floor muscle exercises known as Kegels during sex offers a couple of benefits. You will enjoy more pleasure, and you'll also strengthen the area and help to minimize the risk of incontinence later in life. To do a basic Kegel exercise, tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor, as if you're trying to stop the flow of urine. Count to three, then release. 10. Sex Helps You Sleep Better The oxytocin released during orgasm also promotes sleep, according to research. And getting enough sleep has been linked with a host of other good things, such as maintaining a healthy weight and blood pressure. Something to think about, especially if you've been wondering why your guy can be active one minute and snoring the next. *** Taken from: http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/10-surprising-health-benefits-of-sex

may not be entirely true, but amusing all the same...

NonValidePourVoyager — Thu, 15 May 2008 22:53:21 GMT

From a forwarded email I received today... Fun facts from infection control: After just one hour swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine. In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.) An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs. Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands. Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands. In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your dirty linen basket. At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests. Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases.

Chris Paul will honor a boy whose wish to see the Hornets went unfulfilled

NonValidePourVoyager — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:09:38 GMT

The following made me cry. Felt the need to share: *** Chris Paul will honor a boy whose wish to see the Hornets went unfulfilled Thursday, May 08, 2008 By Katy Reckdahl Staff writer Before tonight's playoff game, New Orleans Hornets superstar point guard Chris Paul will write the name "Brian" on his shoes, paying tribute to an 8-year-old fan who died Monday night before he could meet his basketball hero. Brian, who had cancer, wore his Chris Paul jersey nonstop, said Michael McMyne, president of A Child's Wish of Greater New Orleans, an all-volunteer nonprofit that helps fulfill the wishes of about 100 critically ill Louisiana children each year. McMyne asked that Brian's last name not be used to respect the privacy of the grieving family. Brian's wish was simple: He wanted to go to a Hornets game. So McMyne got him tickets to Monday night's playoff game against the San Antonio Spurs. But at the last minute, a friend of Brian's family called to cancel. The boy had been rushed to the hospital with a high fever, she said. He died hours later. In his final weeks, Brian told his family that he knew he was going to heaven and that he wanted to meet Jesus wearing his Chris Paul jersey. Someone within the Hornets organization sent around an e-mail telling Brian's story. It caught the eye of Paul and Hornets owner George Shinn. Both cried. "It was very touching to me. Tears welled up in my eyes," said Shinn, who sent flowers and a letter to the family and offered to help with funeral costs. The family, overwhelmed with grief, was touched by his kindness but declined. The location and time of the funeral also are private. Shinn and his wife hoped to attend the funeral with Paul and his parents. But the team will be on road at the time, so that isn't possible, Shinn said. The family plans to bury Brian in his favorite jersey, as he requested. Footwear tributes aren't new, Shinn said. But usually the name is directly connected to the player. His mother. A family member. A favorite coach. "The NBA allows you to do that, to honor that person," Shinn said. Shinn has never before seen a player write a fan's name on his footwear, "particularly a fan that the player hadn't even met," he said. The tribute is "above and beyond imagination," McMyne said. "This genuinely heartfelt response by Chris Paul made this delicate family feel fortunate as they grieve their angel." . . . . . . . Katy Reckdahl can be reached at kreckdahl@timespicayune.com or (504) 826-3396. Taken from: http://www.nola.com/sports/t-p/index.ssf?/base/sports-37/1210225031270110.xml&coll=1

Dates

NonValidePourVoyager — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:07:12 GMT

It’s funny, yesterday I kept on thinking that something historically significant happened, or that I had some important thing I had to do or something but kept on drawing a blank… Then it hit me this morning: yesterday marked the anniversary of the 1992 Los Angeles Riots…AND I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THAT SHIT. You’d think it would always be on my internal calendar or something. This makes me wonder if there will come a time when August 29th will be just another date to me.

The Pelican Brief: An Interview With New Orleans’ Brian Pelican

NonValidePourVoyager — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:05:14 GMT

[Brian’s note: I met J Trek- from Oklahoma City- via the web a few months back. He got in touch with me concerning an online Hip Hop magazine he planned to start, featuring interviews with rap music artists who were largely unknown but who represented far more what Hip Hop “is” than what it appears to be. I sent him a few of my unreleased songs, we did some email exchange back and forth and about a month and a half ago he called me- while I was drinking- to conduct an interview. The following is more or less what you’ll see on his upcoming website] The Pelican Brief: An Interview With New Orleans’ Brian Pelican By J Trek JT: Alright, so first thing is first; when I first contacted you about an interview, you were calling yourself Don Libido. What’s with the name change? BP: Don Libido is dead, long live Don Libido. I’ll tell you, man, there was hella time that passed that I thought I’d never drop the Libido name. But the name reflects a phase in my life, all as an artist, asshole, cat too over concerned about shit that kept me away from recording and performing. That is, dude, I can’t even lie: the past couple of years for me have been a cycle of drugs, alcohol and emotionally unstable, wait, scratch that, just plain fucked up women. I have stories. STD and pregnancy scares, stalkers, chicks still stuck on their ex’s so they betray you, eh, you know, right? I’m cleaning up my act and actions, now. Not that I’m pretending to be something that I’m not. I’m just trying to bring the right kind of energy out and reach people who I can build with, though it may not seem like it on the surface. I’ve been wearing my heart on the sleeve lately with songs and sometimes that shit is ugly. Hopefully some people out there will get the beauty in that. And as it goes, I still have one project left to record under that alias of Don Libido. That’s with my brother, Caligula. The group is called Libigula, the name being a combination of both of our emcee names. That’s going to be my swan song as Libido. JT: I respect that. But does that mean there will be no more songs that reflect a life that’s kind of low life? No more songs about sex with fucked up women and so drunk you don’t know where you were the night before? BP: Songs like that may be inevitable. I mean, just being human, fuck ups are likely. And you know, I’m not even so sure that presenting myself as something “ideal” is the ideal way to present myself musically. Especially in Hip Hop. There’s so much still riding on “keeping it real,” a decade plus after that shit became popular. Fuck, I hate that phrase. How am I able to do anything but keep it real? Even if I do a song that’s entirely fiction, I still have the mundane shit and general madness to deal with once I leave the studio. How’s about I record complete bullshit about my life? Let’s keep it bullshit, brah. I’m gonna record an album just about fucking triple titty, quadruple pussy, AIDS infected baboons from the planet Pluto and do it all straight-faced. JT: Pluto’s not a planet anymore, man. Read your science books. You’re not keeping it real. BP: [laughs] Exactly. I’m just ranting, man. Cool? JT: Cool. Go ahead. BP: You meet me at a bar, at some bullshit club, whatever, I’m still Brian. You can be some douchebag and have issues with your own perceptions of me, gassed off your insecurities, try to start a fight or whatever. Or just hang out, have a beer and shoot the shit with me. I have my own day to day hustle to deal with, you know? Let’s avoid the stress. Hi, I’m Brian, pleased to make your acquaintance. JT: That’s real, man. So there are people locally who have issues with you? BP: Eh, not so much at the moment. Maybe one or two guys. I don’t know, man. I keep my life pretty basic right now. Not trying to start or welcome shit from anybody. I have my regular hangout spots like Handsome Willys. Plug, plug. I drink a few beers, spend time with friends, watch the Hornets ball, deal with what I must to survive and so on. My life is so just like the average cat. Never really on some better than you shit. I just like to create, be it music or writing. JT: Yeah, but who wants to hear songs about being Joe Average? BP: Sometimes people want to listen to something they can relate to, sometimes they’re just looking to be entertained. I think I’m pretty adept at both, even giving a creative interpretation of my reality in song. You remember how NWA was able to get away with recording songs about a life they did not live? Their whole angle was that they were just essentially reporting what they witnessed from the streets? So I understand. Well, let’s say I maybe, MAYBE lived a life that far more reflects my reality than what NWA was recording about their respective lives, and then decide to record songs about my life. Maybe that’s what the Brian Pelican songs are now. Maybe. JT: So you have issues with NWA and groups like that, that had and have the whole “street reporter” angle and aren’t reporting from personal experience? BP: Not at all. I have a ton of respect for all those NWA cats, specifically. What they did was art. The subsequent wannabe NWAs that spawned from their creation of “gangsta rap,” eh, most of them blew. There was nothing added to the mix, just the same tired shit rehashed. That’s the garbage I have a problem with nowadays. Some artists, such as DJ Quik, AMG, MC Eiht, Hi-C and Snoop Dogg of course and a few others who are slipping my memory right now did something a little different, something creative, able to add a little something to the genre of gangsta rap and make their own distinct voice. That’s hella cool. My point is, even if you’re keeping it not-so-real but still have something creative, dynamic, mutant to bring out musically, then that’s fucking awesome. That’s magic. That said, most rap music is utter fucking garbage, not just gangsta shit, but shit in general. And it’s been like that for years. But that ain’t Hip Hop. I feel like an old man some days, dude, always wanting to complain about how shit was better way back when. But I promise you I’m not going to do one of those kind of songs. JT: Yeah man, I’m fucking tired of hearing the slew of “back in the day” songs. I’m going to bitch slap the next emcee who does some nostalgic bullshit. BP: [laughs] Uh, yeah, I understand. I have a few friends/acquaintances who have recorded songs like that, but I’m not about to get on their case about doing those kind of songs. We use music to get our issues out. If what they did helps them as artists, cool. JT: Do you feel like what you do is original? BP: I’m not so sure there is an original idea out there, but I think any and every concept can be mutated and made new. I won’t say there’s nobody who sounds like me, but if that emcee exists, I haven’t met him. I feel pretty fucking original. JT: I listened to the songs you have online and the few you sent me privately, and yeah man, I’ll give you that. You don’t sound like anybody else I can think of, well, except Paul Barman and Del. BP: [pause, then laughs] Fuck. Ah, whatever! Being compared to so and so is inevitable when being reviewed by critics. Fuck it. Either you dig what I’m doing or don’t support it. Simple, really. JT: Okay, so I did a bit of research on you before this interview, including thoroughly researching your MySpace music profile and reading your only interview you have posted there in the blog. So I have some questions, dude. BP: Alright, shoot, killer. JT: What’s up with you and women? No offense, man, but you kind of come across as more of a bitch than Atmosphere. Again, no offense, but that’s my initial reaction to you. BP: No offense taken. I can kind of get where you’re coming from. It’s funny you mention Atmosphere, too, but I don’t feel like going into it, here. My weakness, I guess. Shit, I don’t know, man. I think writing about women I’ve cared for and who may or may not have fucked me over makes for a more interesting song than if I’m talking about, eh, some guy I got into a fight with or whatever. Just doesn’t interest me. JT: So do you have a significant other at the moment? BP: Nah, I haven’t been with anyone for the past couple of years now who I’d consider a partner. A couple close calls, women I would have sacrificed my single status for and who managed to fuck with my head far too seriously to the point I’m doing really stupid shit, but eh, whatever. I’m not bitter. Not really. The world has moved on. And that’s all material for more songs. JT: So what do you look for physically and mentally in a woman? BP: Where you going with this? JT: Why the defense? You’re an open book, right? BP: Yeah. [sighs] I keep on thinking I’m going to meet this chick between 5’3” to 5’6” and has hazel or brownish or, eh, fuck it, I love blue and green eyes too, wears glasses, vegan or vegetarian but is cool with me loving that pork and cattle, heath conscious but drinks beer as a religion, appreciates Hip Hop, overall liberal but gets why I’m technically a Republican, bisexual so she can understand my misogynistic moments because of her own history with women, eh, someone game for a weekend road trip through the South to embrace this part of America or whatever, just spontaneous travel, but also could just do an evening of hanging out at my place with no plans, drinking boxed wine and watching Terry Gilliam movies. Or maybe David Lynch shit, just to be pissed off at the nonsense that asshole makes. JT: That’s still a bit specific. BP: Yeah. I know. I don’t think “she” exists, really. Honestly, I’m happy with someone who gets me, period. I have my issues and quirks after 30 plus years of programming from the world around me. JT: Hmmm [extended pause] BP: Hey, you asked, man. Wait , this is supposed to be some Hip Hop interview, right? JT: Yeah, so ummm, which artists are you working with right now in New Orleans? BP: Primarily it’s me and Tony Skratchere for our group, The Slick Bastards. The projects we have up and coming are going to blow the ass out your panties. I’ve been talking with The Able Chris for a while now about doing a few songs. Far as I’m concerned that shit is guaranteed. Same thing with ATM and C.O. I think we’re just so caught up in our own lives that setting aside that time to record is always an issue. I really want to hit Texas in the near future and turn out a few songs with Blaknificent, who- no disrespect to other producers I know- is the tightest most gets the essence of boom bap cat I know. Blaknif is Hip Hop. Of course there’s the Libigula album with Caligula, which I mentioned already. I’m also just working to put out my solo album as Brian Pelican, called “Non Valide Pour Voyager.” JT: Non valide pour voyager. Am I pronouncing that right? BP: Fuck if I know. I butcher French. JT: What’s with that name for your album? BP: It sums up my life. It’s French for “not valid for travel.” Those were the words printed on my rejection papers from Canadian Immigration. Back in December, 2007, I planned on visiting a friend in Canada, but due to my criminal record for some bullshit I did in New Orleans- per the Canadian Criminal Code- I am considered a felon. I thought it was just a misdemeanor and didn’t think anything about my arrest in NOLA last year when I travelled up there. So, yeah, I broke the law in the United States, but I paid my dues. I went to OPP [editor’s note: OPP means ‘Orleans Parish Prison’ and has nothing to do with the Naughty By Nature song], paid my fucking fine. But it didn’t matter. They wouldn’t let me in that fucking country. Even the U.S. Border Patrol dude thought my rejection was bullshit given my crime. But as it goes, man, I’m not allowed to step a foot within Canada or I will be arrested and some moose will make me his bitch. I can’t even visit for five years and don’t have the option to become a citizen of Canada until I’m 42 or something. JT: Were you looking to expatriate to Canada? BP: Yeah, that was my plan. I love New Orleans. I mean, I’m obsessed with the city but shit has been different since… you know, in a way that I didn’t feel was a supplement to my sanity. So, yeah, I felt the need to head out for a while. Take a breather and be Canadian. Even had it in me to start up a New Orleans Hip Hop scene in Canada, get a few of the cats I know here to move to Vancouver or Toronto and make music. JT: That would have been cool, man. I like the whole idea of transplanting an entirely foreign Hip Hop scene. And just see what happens… BP: Yeah, that was the concept. But I can’t go there. But you know, being regulated to New Orleans has given me a new perspective, really. You know where you’re truly welcome and adapt to that. New Orleans will always love me, even when she’s having one of her episodes. JT: So are there any non-New Orleanian Hip Hop artists that you’re checking for and if given the opportunity would work with? BP: Well, first I must mention MC Hype of the Jersey Bound Trunk Crew. You gotta check out his music, seriously. He’s one of the couple people I’ve met online who I’d really like to work with. I definitely want to see a collab on my album. There aren’t too many new or relatively new Hip Hop artists I’m checking for. For the most part, eh, most of the cats who have come out over the past ten to fifteen years don’t pique my interest. I mean, dude, seriously, I still listen to Kool Moe Dee and Jungle Brothers like that’s the new shit. That said, I’ve really been into Tech N9ne, Z-Man, Hangar 18, really dig Camu Tao, El-P, Little Brother, MF Grimm, Slaine and La Coka Nostra, umm, damn, I’m trying to think of the recent Hip Hop I’ve been listening to and am getting a major blank space. I think I listen to more Blues these days. JT: Any last words, shout outs, advice? BP: Uh, the Hornets will be the 2008 NBA Champions. Eat your veggies, wear a condom when making sweet love and spit on Ray Nagin, often. Oh, and despite the high murder rate and crime in general, New Orleans is still the greatest city in the United States, and if you don’t agree I’ll fucking kill you. I need another beer.

Bicycle Vs. Truck, Truck Always Wins

NonValidePourVoyager — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:22:06 GMT

I'm in a good deal of pain, today. Around 3 AM, Sunday morning, I'm riding my bike back Uptown after a night of Sage Francis at the Den and some drinks with friends. While on Prytania, this red truck zooms past me, clipping me in the process. I'm forced to make a hard right, which makes me collide into a parked car. The truck continues. Hit and run, not cool. I slam my ribs into the handlebars and bang my left knee on the pavement. Blood pours. I’m sitting there for a couple of minutes trying to make sense of what just happened. My head hurts and realize I must have banged it too once I hit the ground, though my knee took the brunt of most of the fall. I walk my bike the rest of the way home- a little over a half mile-because my left leg hurts too much to bend my knee to pedal. Crash at my place, too exhausted to investigate the damage. Wake up to find bloody shorts and bedsheets. My knee is pure ugly. I hop in the shower to wash it off and whoa the water hurt. I felt a little out of it and after a brief trip to Rite Aid for pain relief, I crash again, sleeping from 2:30 PM to 4 AM this morning, getting up here and there to change the ice pack. I get to wear shorts today at work. Pants are too painful.

Naughty Sausage

NonValidePourVoyager — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 21:38:54 GMT

So I’m- again- watching the video clip of George W. Bush dancing in New Orleans this past week ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_depth/7360260.stm ) between his meetings with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper and Mexican President Felipe Calderon for the North American Leaders Summit and think, “Gosh, I’m proud to be an American.” Because no matter what atrocities for which that bastard is at least partially to blame, the President can still groove to the music of MY city. My favorite quote of the moment: "Times are not good here. The city is crumbling into ashes. It has been buried under a lava flood of taxes and frauds and maladministrations so that it has become only a study for archaeologists. Its condition is so bad that when I write about it, as I intend to do soon, nobody will believe I am telling the truth. But it is better to live here in sackcloth and ashes than to own the whole state of Ohio." - Lafcadio Hearn in a letter to a friend in Ohio back in the 1870's (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lafcadio_Hearn for more about the author of this quote)

Shaving the Panda for Travel: Day One

NonValidePourVoyager — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:12:02 GMT

After a brief stop at my regular bar after mundane labor on Monday, I raced home to get to work on making Hip Hop tracks using Reason 4.0. After about 3 hours into playing around and getting reacquainted, I put together the rough beat for a song I’m simply calling “Baton Rouge.” Decided that I want to do all the production work for the Brian Pelican album (as opposed to the Slick Bastards and LIBIGULA projects which will have multiple hands on, including possibly material from a member of Wu Tang). It feels good to get back into being creative musically. I can totally see myself being a hermit for a while this summer to just focus on production work. Less boozing and bipolar women. I might even invest time in just reading books, again (something I’ve slacked off on a great deal). As for the material I recorded as Don Libido over the past four years, well, that’s going to remain up in the air for a while. There were several tracks recorded with a few different producers, and I don’t have at least half of those songs. I may just put together an album that’ll be a free download on the Slick Bastards website (http://slickbastards.com/ ). I figure if I’m handling all the production work, then there’s really no one to blame but myself when the album ain’t ready. You know I’ve been promising a Don Libido record in some form since 2005? That’s ridiculous. This isn’t to say there have been no releases with Don Libido songs. After all, there’s Dragon’s Breath compilation The Restless Natives: A Tribute to the Victims of Hurricane Katrina (and you can still buy the album on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Restless-Natives-Dedicated-Hurricane-Explicit/dp/B000R04WK2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1208282675&sr=8-1 ) which features two Don Libido songs. But yeah, considering how long I’ve been doing this, shit, I really should have had a couple records out by now. Anyhow, yes, the Brian Pelican album is called “Non Valide Pour Voyager.” It’ll contain several musical influences but most definitely still be Hip Hop. I’m even singing on it (yeah, I know, don’t be scared…I gots an alright voice, I swear). I’m going to shoot for completing this project by the end of 2008. Okay, gotta think about the Hornets Vs. Clippers tonight. Carry on.

Making Music

NonValidePourVoyager — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:26:07 GMT

Well, today I've started messing with Reason 4.0. The last time I touched Reason was in '06, when my roommate had a studio set up where I slept. I could just hop out of bed and let the muses spank me any time I felt inspired. Did some of my best recordings/production work in that studio/bedroom. Looking through the instruction manual. Tons of reading to be had. This is a good thing. I think getting back into Hip Hop production will do me well. After all, the Hornets regular season coming to a close. Plus, it would behoove me not to barfly as much as I have over the past several months...mostly for my health, ya dig. Keepin' busy. Word.

How To Handle The Jerk Next To You On An Airplane

NonValidePourVoyager — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:59:49 GMT

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case. 2. Remove your laptop. 3. Start up 4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you can see the screen. 5. Close your eyes, join your palms together, tilt your head up to the sky & move your lips as if praying 6. Then hit the link.... http://boortz.com/mp3/archive/countdown.swf

Yay! Vanilla Ice!!!!

NonValidePourVoyager — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:41:23 GMT

So I've learned that my buddy is going to see a Vanilla Ice show this Friday for laughs. Knowing this friend as I do, I totally expect him to beat the living shit out of Mr. Ice for fun. See, once my friend gets drunk, he can get violent. This friend is also one of the most legitimate Hip Hop artists I know and something about mixing him with the "Ice Ice Baby" element spells chaos. And I think a fight between Vanilla and this friend is hilarious. Am I wrong to find physical violence funny towards someone who has done me no ill? From what I've heard- and I have heard a few stories including from the owners of a club where I did a show last year- that Vanilla Ice is a major douchebag. Grade A Turd, yep. So, yeah, if a fight between my friend and Ice gets taped and finds its way online, I'll be sure to post a link here. I do hope my pacifist friends will forgive me.

Just in case you missed Wednesday night's Hornets Vs. Cavaliers game...

NonValidePourVoyager — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 00:30:28 GMT

Goddamn.... http://video.aol.com/video-detail/hornets-100-cavaliers-99-f/3224876431

Just So We're On The Same Page....

NonValidePourVoyager — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:14:56 GMT

See above image. Yes. The Hornets are #1 in the West. Today is the first day of Spring, yesterday marked the Persian New Year and today is Mr. Rodger's Sweater Day. Coincidence? I think not!

Lovely day...lovely day...

NonValidePourVoyager — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:30:48 GMT

Busy, busy this week. Writing, networking, blah, blah, blah. Worked a bit on the new house this past weekend. Light work, honestly, just scraping some old paint from the door for the room that will be my new recording studio. Once the place is finished it will be the raddest house in which I've ever lived. Yeah, raddest. Again, any time I can talk one/any/all of you out of towners into visiting NOLA, you'll have an excellent place to crash. Right now I'm looking to paint the interior in reds, yellows and oranges, hoping to promote a bit of a Carribean feel. The restaurant nearby- called Man Chu- does NOT sell Asian food (unless you count fried rice), though it is run by an Asian family (I think Vietnamese...not completely sure...I suck). What they do have is some of the best fucking fried chicken I've ever eaten. They also have other reasonably priced local food. Highly recommended if you don't mind tempting a heart attack. In other news, here's something I posted today on the Atheists tribe @ http://nogod.tribe.net (reposting it here because I feel like sharing): _Sparring With Trolls_ I’m not much for debate these days. I’ve enjoyed and learned from some of the recent exchange, but really don’t feel compelled enough to throw in my dos pesos (the irony that I’m posting something now, noted). Mickey, Jason and others subscribed to this group are far more adept at presenting their arguments and I commend their effort, however much it seems to fall on deaf ears. I have my reasons for being an Atheist and sleep perfectly well at night believing that upon my demise, well, that’s it. There is no God, no Satan, no heaven, no eternal torment, much less a waiting room where a saint reviews the actions I’ve taken during my remarkably short life. I don’t have to prove my beliefs to anyone but myself. If it turns out that I’m ultimately wrong, I still wouldn’t wish to embrace a divinity that finds it fair to punish me for not joining its team. I’m able to be an ethical, compassionate, kind, hard working, loving human without being threatened to play nice or else by a celestial boogey man. This is not to suggest I’m perfect or have committed no wrongs upon myself and other life, but I am decent far as the average Joe goes. And that’s more than I can say for a good deal of people I’ve met who claim to be “religious” (whatever that means), moral, Christian, etc. In my early 20s, I was of the more hostile variety when it came to dealing with people who held a belief in a divinity which compelled them to force their religious convictions upon non-believers. In my 30s, I still am greatly offended by these folks, but don’t feel as confrontational unless their convictions seriously compromise my or my loved ones lifestyle. Kudos to those who find it worthwhile to battle trolls online and the like. Me, eh, I’d rather spend my time reading some Raymond Chandler and down a few Red Stripes. To each their own, right? If following Jesus, Muhammad, the tenets of Buddhism, the B’hai Faith, even Scientology, whatever, genuinely makes you a better person (whatever you may deem as “better”), gives you a healthy outlook on life, a positive direction, and so on then good for you. But unless I explicitly ask, I’m not interested in learning about your take on the universe, life and everything, much less adopting it as my own point of view. That said, one leading by example has been far more effective at convincing me of embracing their belief than anything. The day I meet the happy and healthy zealot, the more I’d be open to hearing their pitch.

Brief Note On the New Orleans Hornets…

NonValidePourVoyager — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 18:46:19 GMT

I have two Hornets player jerseys right now: the Chris Paul All Star which is ridiculously fresh and I recently picked up an alternate Peja Stojakovic jersey. But after last nights game against the Phoenix Suns, I may have to go out and get either or both Tyson Chandler and Jannero Pargo jerseys, too. I love the Hornets. I may even be more into them than I was ever into the Saints. Don’t get me wrong, still about the Saints when it’s football season, but dang…the fucking Hornets are the focus right now. Solid team. No weak links. Watching them play makes me want to play again.

And So….

NonValidePourVoyager — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 18:59:14 GMT

Last night while having dinner…alone…but out at Snug Harbor, I look through the contacts in my phone and note that I’ve kept the name and number of two people I once knew who were murdered last year. Neither guy I was particularly close to, more of just being good acquaintances. I had no reason to keep the numbers, really. Yet I couldn’t manage to erase those entries. It was as if doing so would permanently remove them from this world. I know that doesn’t make sense and may even seem quite stupid. But the thought of deleting these two useless phone numbers seemed wrong. One of these men was the son of a famous New Orleans musician. He was killed during a drug deal gone badly (he had a crack habit). I learned of his death within a couple of days after it happened. About two weeks after that, he and I were supposed to record a few songs together. He had apparently been a fan of mine for quite some time. I regret not making the time before his death to have recorded at least one collaboration with him. Since ________ committed suicide last year (a girl I once dated), I make it a point of not actually speaking the names of the dead whom I had known. I can’t tell you exactly why I do this. I really don’t know. I just don’t like speaking the name of someone I knew who is no longer a part of this reality, at least not in any sentient human sense. Being an Atheist, this probably seems all the more silly I should feel this way. Yet I do. And I’m comfortable with that. I had another dream about attending my father’s funeral. Second one in two weeks. He and I don’t communicate as much as we should. There’s such a disconnect there. I’ll get on the phone with him and have little to nothing to say. It’s been that way for years.

The Mayor of New Orleans Seriously Disturbs Me...

NonValidePourVoyager — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 18:16:29 GMT

The above image is of Mayor Ray Nagin and NOPD Superintendent Warren Riley trying out a pair of the NOPD's new M-4 rifles Tuesday at the Superdome. I mean, don't get me wrong, guns are fun and all and good times are sure to be had when the NOPD is out busting heads and abusing their power, but this specific picture doesn't exactly give me peace of mind regarding the leader of my city. But Nagin hasn't been giving me peace of mind for quite a while now.... Good grief.

Lundi Gras Intermission...Brief Update....

NonValidePourVoyager — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 23:57:49 GMT

Has been an excellent Carnival weekend thus far. Of course tomorrow is the big day, then come midnight, January 6th all good Catholics must avoid meat for a while. Watched Le Krewe D'Etat parade pass my house on Friday night (along with a few other parades due to cancellations on Thursday from bad weather conditions). I love D'Etat. My second favorite next to Krewe du Vieux. Sure I've mentioned that already... So I’m watching the D’Etat parade on Friday night, having a great time and I overhear this couple next to me say the following: “Well, Le Krewe D’Etat is really just the Krewe du Vieux on a grander scale. If du Vieux were a super-krewe, they’d be almost identical.” I completely agreed, kind of why KdV and Kd’E are my two favorites. Then I hear the woman of this couple say, “Oh, yes, but Krewe du Vieux is just so disgusting and vulgar and nasty and…” She pauses and I note she’s looking at my Krewe du Vieux jacket I’m wearing. She finishes her sentence with, “…inappropriate…but, ummm, in a good way.” I laugh and tell her, “Hey, you’re entitled to your opinion, lady. Happy Mardi Gras!” And she's quite right. But that's why I like it. I haven't caught many beads this year, but then I'm not really trying. The only big bag I caught was during the Krewe of Muses parade. Made eye contact with a fellow on one float, he points at me, I nod, he throws, I catch and give him a thumbs up. I really don't have a need for a ton of beads so I share with a few kids around me, saving a few to send to friends who live outside of Louisiana. Saturday I met up with my friend, Damaris, and her friend, Tina, to carpool to my friends Ben and Delaney's Krewe of Endymion pre-party. They live near the parade route which means one major plus: CLEAN TOILET!!! We stay there most of the evening to watch Endymion finish up, then Damaris, Tina and I head to the Quarter and...yeah...I went to Bourbon Street (something I ONLY do when entertaining out of town guests...Tina was visiting from Texas and a Mardi Gras virgin). While on Bourbon, some chick in the crowd burned the webbing between my middle and ring fingers on my left hand with her cigarette. It was an accident, just being in the crowd, but I was still ticked off, like, “Bitch, don’t wave your cancerstick at people in a crowd!” I mean, it's a packed street with little room to breath, much less smoke. Fire is BAD. Fucking smokers. I had a tourist drink. The same one I only get once a year and only when I'm hanging out with out-of-towners: a Hand Grenade. We had dinner at Angeli and I was home well before sunrise. Had a hangover Sunday. Went to the Quarter to catch Bacchus (sorry, didn't give a shit about the Superbowl this year...hate the Patriots but I just wasn't invested), but didn't stay for long. Had work on Lundi Gras, that is, today, where I type from now. Anyhow, about to head out, catch a show tonight. Most likely Mad Happy as I try and see them whenever they pass through New Orleans. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Mardi Gras, even if you ain't blessed enough to be here. I'll save you a throw.

Charlie Parker, R.I.P.

NonValidePourVoyager — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 18:08:27 GMT

Charlie Parker was found dead this morning, just eight days after Winnipeg's passing. He didn't appear to have anything broken, so I'm at a bit of a loss as to what happened. Perhaps a broken heart? I really don't know.

Krewe du Vieux Doo, Time Travel and That NOLA Muse (or Carnival Literally Means “No Meat” and That’s Funny, Brah)

NonValidePourVoyager — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 00:16:58 GMT

“Paraders by night, magicians, Bacchantes, leapers to the flute and drum, initiates in the Mysteries--what men call the Mysteries are unholy disturbances of the peace” – Heraclitus (Fragment 76) My mom doesn’t get it. I told her last month that I was invited to join a Mardi Gras krewe. And I joined. And she wondered aloud why I would want to do such a thing, especially since the krewe doesn’t pay me to parade, but rather I pay dues to the krewe, and money to fund my costuming and such comes from my own pocket. I wanted to join to feel that I am part of New Orleans, again. To feel the rush that comes from making not just local history, contributing to the geist of NOLA, but providing a happy, pleasant, fucking joyous memory for fellow Mardi Gras season revelers. To give me back a piece of my sanity through acts of creative madness. We celebrate because it’s good for the community. Last night I marched with other members of the Krewe du Vieux. This was an honor and blessing for several reasons. The Krewe du Vieux (known also as Krewe du Vieux Carre, “Vieux Carre” being the old French name for the Quarter) has been one of my two favorite Mardi Gras krewes (the other being Le Krewe D’Etat) for years. They are quite possibly the most traditional of krewes: relying on mules or people pulling the floats (that are created by the members of the respective sub-krewes) rather than relying upon tractors and use live bands for the parade rather than pre-recorded music from boom boxes. The members make their own costumes and are encouraged to be individualistic with their costume design. The parade themes are also very satirical and largely political in nature, which makes them far more like the Mardi Gras parades of the 19th and early to mid 20th century. The sub-krewe in which I’m a member, TOKIN (the Totally Orgasmic Krewe of Intergalactic Ne’er Do Wells) marched with the New Birth Brass Band providing the music. From 6:30 PM until sometime after 9, we paraded through the streets of the French Quarter, feeling the love from the crowd (and there was so much love to be had). I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. It rained all day and I worried that our parade would be stormed upon, but nope, Providence smiled on the Krewe and we marched rain free. I kept looking to the sky during my adventure to study the few clouds, how they’d cover the moon then move. It was a sight that brought me back to the New Orleans I love more than I can express in a silly blog. Some revelers in the crowd screamed, “Hail, TOKIN!” I hooted and happily yelled back in return. I laughed. I handed out throws. I’d stop to chat with parade watchers who may have been my, ahem, type, wished them a merry carnival, then ran, leaped, danced to the drums and horns and caught back up with our sub-krewe’s float (pictured above). My major lesson this parade season: DO NOT WALK DIRECTLY BEHIND THE PATH OF THE MULE UNLESS YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT STEPPING IN MULE SHIT. Is true, I stomped mule poop at least twice. But whatever, the night was so perfect that a little doo doo on the Airwalks was a truly minor inconvenience. My medium lesson this parade season: KREWE GROUPIES ARE REAL. I initially thought it bullshit, as another krewe member informed me that even though I was going alone to the afterparty (had three dates cancel on me, each for very legitimate reasons so I ain’t mad or anything), it might actually behoove me to go stag, as if hooking up were a goal of mine, there were certain women who upon learning you’re in a krewe take a keen interest in you, as if you’re a rockstar or something. And yeah, it’s true. I had more game wearing a costume trashcan on my head and a garbage bag for a jacket than I ever did with just my day to day mojo. The costume does boost confidence, though, if nothing else. I wasn’t looking to hook up with anyone, but I do enjoy flirting just for the hell of it. And there was so much of it to be had while marching and at the afterparty, which was open to the public. My medium rare lesson of this parade season: CARNIVAL LITERALLY MEANS “NO MEAT.” It is suggested that the word “carnival” comes from the Italian carne levare, meaning “to remove meat” or from the late Latin expression carne vale, which means “farewell to meat,” referring to the final days one might enjoy meat before giving it up for lent. Catholics are a funny sort, but I love ‘em. Nevertheless, I was raised Baptist and am Atheist. I ain’t know nothing about giving up no meat. Me love meat. Meat YUM. But I’m still going to celebrate Mardi Gras and eat meat within the forty days that follow Fat Tuesday. Hope my friends who pray to saints don’t mind. My minor lesson this parade season: EITHER BRING A BUTTLOAD OF THROWS OR BE MORE STINGY WHEN IT COMES TO GIVING THEM OUT. I unloaded the majority of my throws (KdV wooden nickels and TOKIN stickers) during the first third of our march. There were just so many happy, screaming, beautiful women and other enthusiastic revelers of all ages along that initial stretch that I just had to part ways with my goodies. “Come get wasted with me, little mama! You need a nickel and a sticker!” “Thank you, Mister Trashman.” Smile. Wink. Dance. Repeat. I ran into at least 25 people I knew, a few of whom I hadn’t seen, much less spoken to in years (two I lost touch with following Katrina). And the reaction was love. No negative vibes whatsoever. Just joy. I hugged, was kissed upon, and became reacquainted with friends I thought I lost forever. Life is good, baby. After the parade was the Krewe du Vieux Doo, the annual afterparty/ball held by KdV. The musical lineup was amazing. Many people came in costume and that was a beautiful thing. I’m a firm believer that you dishonor the season if you do not at least costume a little for events. I met up with my friend Raven. We talked a bit, caught up to speed. A major surprise for me was running into my friend, Shelly. She had moved to Thailand a while back and while I heard she returned to New Orleans, I just never saw her while I was out and about. She also goes by MC Shellshock! We recorded a couple songs together in 2006, did a couple shows and I had a lot of fun working with her. We agreed to get back to the studio ASAP and do some new music. She also invited me to perform in one of her shows at the end of the month, doing our duet “Freak of the Week” (my character in the song is basically a player who is using her as my once a week booty call as all my other days are filled with other women). I don’t really know what to write about the Vieux Doo proper. It was just a wonderful event. In there I felt back in touch with the city’s roots I thought I’d perhaps forsaken. All of the bands that performed were great, but I looked forward the most to catching Quintron, who I haven’t seen in, well, it’s been months and possibly years. And I fucking rocked. Yep. Got home just after 4 AM and passed out shortly thereafter. And I’m feeling the effects of carnival season the following day, close to 12 hours after the parade began yesterday, but it was so worth it. Wish I could do it more often. Of course, that would make this whole Mardi Gras thing less special, no? (note: which is why I’m against people wearing beads unless it’s THE SEASON, ya dig?) At any rate, me and New Orleans are dating, again.

CUT IT OUT WITH THE EFFIN' TEXT MESSAGES!!!!!

NonValidePourVoyager — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 18:00:10 GMT

Seriously, I don't mind the occasional text message, especially when the other person or myself might be somewhere that makes actual talking difficult. I understand that. But if you fucking refuse to answer your phone and will only reply to text messages, I mean, the fuck?!?! Is it a side effect of being socially inept? I'm a little lost, there. I'd much rather hear your voice. Some communication is far easier that way. Pick up your fucking phone once in a while, please. I'll be flexible. Like I wrote, the occasional text message is alright, but if that's the only way you'll communicate with me...shit...I start taking that personal. And so many people I like do that: just TM. I am ANTI TM from this point forward. With the exception of a few here and there if it makes sense to do so. Feel me? I'm not asking for much. PS The above image are the shoes I want. Since my birthday ain't happening until November, well, if ya feel compelled buy me a pair for, ummmm, Mardi Gras. Okay, back to work...