Ok, so most everyone won't want to hear this, but I just about lost it all today on the freeway when a car changed lanes into mine at a crawl speed as I was coming in hot from the open freeway behind me. I was shook up, but otherwise unharmed as I braked, swerved and got around.



I had one of those wake up the machine experiences, where for a split second or two you don't know what to do, don't know which reaction programming to download and run in order to get out of a sticky situation. And then I realized, had I chosen wrong, it might have been the end.



I realized I'm not quite ready to die yet. And it's not that I am suicidal. But the art of dying and the continuance of the real journey which follows are something I am interested in, and are often in the back of my mind. Death is not something I seek in itself, rather I seek to bring myself into such a perspective that once I realize I am dying, that I can accept the transition calmly and with Attention.



Obviously any kind of traumatic incident already exponentiates the whole experience, but would it be possible to live your life in such a way that should such a scenario arise, that one could still accept it and transition with it? To be able to know you have lived, truly lived, given it your best shot, done what you willed, and be able to let the rest go.



How do I bring about a consciousness of being that would allow me this? I hope I can keep this in my mind over the next few years, through my readings of EJ Gold and my personal Work, and the teachings of Koyote.



I'd like to be ready when it's my time.