Bela Lugosi'd dead

www.youtube.com/watch


White on white translucent black capes
Back on the rack
Bela Lugosi's dead
The bats have left the bell tower
The victims have been bled
Red velvet lines the black box
Bela Lugosi's dead
Undead undead undead
The virginal brides file past his tomb
Strewn with time's dead flowers
Bereft in deathly bloom
Alone in a darkened room
The count
Bela Logosi's dead
Undead undead undead


-Bauhaus

Kenya

In 1988, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.  The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1988, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.  He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter's legs and smashed the shit out of him against the railing, killing him instantly

Probably wasn't the same elephant


This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming bullshit stories.

Still my favorite christmas movie.

www.santasm.net/

Tis the season.

About 15 years ago, I was working downtown Boston as a caterer in Post Office Square for this swanky racquet club. My normal hours were Mon thru Fri from 6a-4p. I used to take the bus, and would use my bus pass.

One night, xmas eve, I worked until 11pm. I left the club and started walking towards the bus. It hit me as fast as the cold. "CRAP! No bus this late!" It was about 20 degrees and windy. There was a slight snow wafting under my coat collar. I had no way of getting home.

The Boston T is famous for not giving a shit about the populous and I knew they would NOT accept my bus pass. It was 14 mile walk to my house. I decided to go plead / bleed / give a hummer to whomever was working the T box on xmas eve.

I get maybe 2 blocks away from the club and the cold starts to work its way into my bones. All of a sudden, two homeless dudes walk up to me stemming for change. yay.
"Hey man, got any cash?" I said "Nope! I don't even have cash to get on the damn T sorry"..

They just sort of stare at me with a blank expression.

One of the dudes reaches in his pocked and comes out with a handful of coins. He drops them in my hand and says "Go home and be with your family, man". I asked his name and he said "Flash" with a grin.

I gave him all but 85 cents back and started walking towards the T. His friend says "Now you won't think we're all bums, man" Flash says "I ain't no bum. I'm homeless".

I get home to bickering and blathering and was pretty goddam grateful for Flash and his friend.

The right to die.

www.youtube.com/watch

The suicide of a 59 year old Motor Neurone disease sufferer Craig Ewert.

A documentary screened on Sky Real Lives showed motor neurone disease sufferer Craig Ewert taking a lethal dose of drugs at the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland.
Mary Ewert told Sky News her husband was not tired of living - but faced a choice between death and suffering, or death.
"He at times felt depressed - and who would not, facing that fact that you had an incurable disease and there was absolutely nothing that could be done and, on top of it, the demise could be quite slow and quite uncomfortable?
"Many people would react to that with a sense of sadness, but that wasn't pervasive in his approach and, as I said, I think he had the idea all along that he could choose not to do this even when he arrived at Dignitas."


I wonder if they'll ever have this in the US.

I think I'm one step closer

This base jumping with wingsuit thing has me mesmerized. I'm definitely doing it this coming summer. Now I need to find somewhere in the USA where they're doing it!


www.boreme.com/boreme/fun...land-p1.php

This election

makes me want to vomit.

The Carpenter and the Dainty Bride

To the carpenter,
said the dainty bride,
the grass appears greener on the other side.
So let's clarify,
before you die,
the grass is never greener on the other side.

To the carpenter,
said the dainty bride,
I pledge to you my love tonight,
but I will not hesitate to euthanize,
if the grass becomes greener on the other side.

Said the carpenter,
to the dainty bride,
I would never do a thing to jeopardize,
this union I consider prize,
the grass never would be greener on the other side.

To the preacher man,
said the dainty wife,
he thought the grass was greener on the other side,
so I buried in his belly my butcher knife,
and ended these years of wretched strife.
Said the preacher man,
to the guilty wife,
though the law may give you twenty years to life,
pray forgiveness in the father's eyes,
and the grass just may be greener on the other side...
on the other side...
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
other side...
ha ha ha ha ha...

Look away.
Look away.
Look away.
Look away.

To the carpenter,
said the dainty bride,
the grass is never greener on the other side.
To the carpenter,
said the dainty bride,
the grass is never greener on the other side.
To the carpenter,
said the dainty bride,
the grass is never greener on the other side.
To the carpenter,
said the dainty bride,
the grass is never greener on the other side.
To the carpenter,
said the dainty bride,
the grass is never greener on the other side.
To the carpenter,
said the dainty bride,
the grass is never greener on the other side.
To the carpenter,
said the dainty bride,
the grass is never greener on the other side.
To the carpenter,
said the dainty bride,
the grass is never greener on the...

Patrice Oneal. FINALLY

Way to fucking far with the PC crap on the radio. I love this guy.

Sing it!

Comedy should NEVER have to be sacrificed for political correctness. Ever.

www.youtube.com/watch

I'll get off my soapbox now.