For Someone Who Did You Wrong~


Though its way is to strike
In a dumb rhythm,
Stroke upon stroke,
As though the heart
Were an anvil,
The hurt you sent
Had a mind of its own.

Something in you knew
Exactly how to shape it,
To hit the target,
Slipping into the heart
Through some wound-window
Left open since Childhood.

While it struck outside,
It burrowed inside,
Made tunnels through
Every ground of confidence.
For days, it would lie still
Until a thought would start it.

Meanwhile, you forgot,
Went on with things
And never even knew
How that perfect
Shape of hurt
Still continued to work.

Now a new kindness
Seems to have entered time
And I can see how that hurt
Has schooled my heart
In a compassion I would
Otherwise have never learned.

Somehow now
I have begun to glimpse
The unexpected fruit
Your dark gift had planted
And I thank you
For your unknown work.

John O'Donohue
To Bless the Space Between Us-A Book of Blessings

I have been tending bar for a mere 20 years now. I am often times blown away by the inability of those who frequent such establishments to recognize the symbiosis between bartender & patron. The dance that takes place on a busy night. Those shifts that teeter between flow and madness. Where you have it all jiving or you are lost in the weeds. Some nights it can be truly lovely, others... a complete & utter nightmare. :) If you would like to become well liked by your friendly local server then please read over these rules. They are really basic common sense but you would be amazed by how many folks have no flippin idea!!! Those of you who have worked in the industry~ whether it behind the bar, waiting tables, dancing or just generally having folks rely on you to get them things know exactly what I mean & will find this concise and brilliant outline both informative and funny. Those of you who have never worked in the service industry may find it highly enlightening. For those of you already aware...thank you so very much. enjoy :)

The Golden Rules for Bar Patrons~
A Bartender's Favorite...
"Can I get a lemon drop, a buttery nipple, a sex on the beach..." Someone once pointed out to me the fact that there seems to be a micro-economy in the service industry. Restaurant workers take their tip money out to bars and clubs at night and give it to the bartenders, who promptly return it to the waiters and waitresses the next day at lunch. The cycle is almost self-sufficient and is mutually beneficial. Knowing the pain of waiting on customers, each group tips the other well and never raises a fuss. These people do not need to be educated. The rest of you do.

Many of us have stood in a noisy, crowded bar and asked, "What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here?" Well, you're about to find out. Here are some Do's and Dont's that will keep the relationship between bartender and bar patron running smoothly.

DON'T...
Fail to have your money ready.
We're waiting on you. Everyone else is waiting on us. Therefore, by the Transitive Property of Equality, everyone is waiting on you.
RULE 1~ HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. Not only will following Rule 1 get you served quicker in a bar, it's a good general rule to adopt in life and especially helpful in Central American border crossing scenarios.
RULE 2~ Whistle. This is an absolute No-No. You whistle at dogs, not people.
RULE 3~ Wave money. Oh, you've got a dollar!! I'll be right over!! Hopefully I won't break an ankle in my fevered rush to get to you your "curz lite." Well, at least you're not breaking the next rule.
RULE 4~ yell out the bartender's first name. There's something deeply psychologically disturbing about hearing your name called, turning around and seeing a complete stranger (however, it doesn't bother me at all when a regular calls out my name). That's one of the reasons strippers use stage names. Many bartender's do too.
RULE 5~ Say "make it strong" or "put a lot of liquor in it". Oh, you're one of the rare drinkers that like their drink strong! When you say this, you're assuming I make weak drinks (which is insulting) and you're assuming that I'll stiffen this one up for my new best buddy, you. This is the best way to get a weak drink.
RULE 6~ Give the ever-expanding drink order. You want a bud. I go get it. I come back and now you want a margarita. Okay, no problem. I come back, and (oh yeah!) now you want a shot of tequila, too. You really could have told us this all at once. See RULE 1.
RULE 7~ Pull the redirect (or the bait 'n' switch). Usually used after the money wave or the whistle, this is when the gentleman passes his turn to the lady behind him. Yeah, um, don't do that okay? Chances are she's not ready, and your weak attempt at chivalry just lost you your turn. See you in 30 minutes.
RULE 8~ Try the confused, lost look. This is usually accompanied by the question "what kind of beer y'all got?" while looking at all the beers we have. You did know you were in a bar, right? You didn't just appear here, did you? Refer to RULE 1.
RULE 9~ Order high maintenance shooters. Example: "Lemme get an Alabama Slammer, a Red Snapper, two Kamikazes, a Buttery Nipple and a Lemon Drop." Usually followed by a small tip. People, these shooters are fine by themselves, but there are multiple steps involved with each one. Translation: TIME SINK. You may get them this time, but you'll probably be waited on last the next time we see your face. Here's a clue as to whether or not you are high maintenance; if two bartenders are working and they see you, and they flip a coin and the loser comes over to take your order, pretty good chance you are high maintenance. If after reading this you still feel the need to order multiple shooters of different varieties then be absolutely sure to TIP BIG. overly big or you might just piss off your bartender. Do that and you run the risk of everyone becoming pissed off at you.
RULE 10~ Assume we know you period. Unless you've followed the first "DO" rule below, we don't remember you. You are one of a thousand faces for us, and when you point at an empty glass or beer bottle that's invariably facing away from us, your attempt at a shortcut backfires. Tell us what you want.
RULE 11~ Apologize for sucking. Don't apologize for not tipping. Acknowledging that you suck is not the same as not sucking. Oh, and don't say "i'll get ya next time." We know all about you.
RULE 12~ Assume soft drinks are free. Are they free at McDonald's? Are they free at Walmart? Are they free anywhere? I blame M.A.D.D. for this myth.
RULE 13~ Put pennies and nickles in the tip jar. We don't want that crap in our pockets any more than you do (i beg to differ on this one. It all adds up! gimme, gimme). We don't have anything smaller than quarters. Have you ever ordered a drink that costs $3.17?
RULE 14~ Be "The Microbrew Aficionado". Usually a pseudo-hippy who can't tip a quarter but can't bring himself to drink "schwag", and who has to sample some new berry-wheat-harvest-ale that he heard about at Burning Man (yes, a random mention of Burning Man...author unknown). "do you have the new Vernal-Equinox Special Welcome Fest?" "does anyone?" Here's your Newcastle. Go!
Rule 15~ Be "The Daddy Warbucks". Dressed in classic day-trader wear, this loud, boisterous guy smokes cigars and orders martinis and generally exudes an air of money. Until the tip. We hate you.
Rule 16~ Be a "Whiney Baby". Under no circumstances should you ever whine to a bartender when asked to see your I.D. Our jobs depend on them, and when we spot a fake/expired I.D., don't argue, we've seen and heard it all a million times before, and it will get you absolutely nowhere. If you "don't have one" or "forgot it", forget it; you don't belong out on the town in the first place. That's the law, plain and simple. Remember RULE 1 from a minute ago?
Rule 17~ Don't tell me the bartender at the front bar hooks it up cheaper". Bullshit because if he did you wouldn't be at my bar getting it from me! If you can't afford the drinks you are ordering then don't drink!

DO!~
Tip! Tip heavy right off the bat, and you're the first person we aim for every time you come up to the bar. Did you get that? Go back and read it again. The word will spread to other bartenders and you'll be treated like a prince. It will pay off in better drinks and the occasional free one.
Be Patient. All you really need to do to get waited on is make eye contact. We see you, and we'll get to you before the guy right next to you waving money and whistling. Remember, this isn't insulin we're passing out here. If you really need a drink that bad, you've got a problem to address, Jack. The meek shall inherit the bar.
Understand. We are human not machines, we know you're there however you are not the only or most important one in the bar...
Bartenders hate it when you:
1. Ask us to split the bill.
2. Expect us to replace your drink for free because you ordered the wrong thing.
3. Tell us the bill is wrong when it's not.
4. Ask us to make it stronger. Ask for a double next time.
5. Don't understand the concept of "Last Call".
6. Are a cheap tipper.
7. Flag us down & you don't know what you want and don't have your money ready.
8. Ask for ice water.
9. Think the fruit tray is a salad bar.
10. Are an asshole!
And Remember..."Thank You" doesn't pay our bills!...(it is appreciated along with a tip however)...and yes... you did order that much!

Please watch this enlightening documentary

American Drug War 2007

yet again...technology breakdown.
my cellphone is not working properly. I keep hearing the beep of incoming texts yet I can't respond.
I'm not being rude:)
my contract allows me new phone on the 13th.
until then...I'm enjoying the freedom from that leash :)
blessings~

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed

What guarantee is there that the five senses, taken together do cover the whole of possible experience? They cover simply our actual experience, our human knowledge of facts or events. There are gaps between the fingers; there are gaps between the senses. In these gaps is the darkness which hides the connection between things... This darkness is the source of our vague fears & anxieties, but also the home of the gods. They alone see the connections, the total relevance of everything that happens; that which now comes to us in bits & pieces, the "accidents" which exist only in our heads, in our limited perceptions.

~from The Listener. Idris Parry.

It's funny how right now things may not seem like "traditional" good day in that our roomie is moving out as we speak without having given us the two month notice he promised us, bleh!!! bad roomie, BAD!!! & since mike is working on healing up from yesterdays hernia surgery. Normally I would be feeling fairly stressed & a bit worn thin but instead I am feeling incredibly grateful & blessed. I am seeing very clearly the innerworkings of my "mind" & taking each & every thing as it comes. Things have been fluid & beautiful. I am loved, I am love...incredibly good stuff!!!!