Fool Me Once Shame On You....

PandoraMorticia — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:49:33 GMT

Fool me twice, Shame on me. I wish I didn't live so far away from the timgs I wish to do. I do feel some things were unfair in the attendance policys of the thing I wish to do but I will learn and try again at another time. I invested over $1000 just in gas into this venture and I am sad to be given the boot but I understand. What I don't want to be is a charity case. I will continue with the classes here.

It hurts too much to cry...

PandoraMorticia — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 21:47:16 GMT

So I found out yesterday that I did not make it into the bellydance tribe that performs at the Southern California Rennaisance faire. Im really not all that supprised. I sucked. I had the least amount of experience of all the people who showed up and the least amount of talent. Come on. Who was I kidding? I got my hopes all up. I spent over $200 on costuming and the like for the audition, spent hours on my piece, and tried to quiet the bees in my belly. It was all for naught. I showed up, didn't get to go until second to last which ruined my nerves, and made the biggest fool of myself ever. I've been up pretty much most of the night crying and thinking. At first the hurt came, but I could not cry, it bubbled there below the surface making my chest burn and my eyes water but no tears rolled dowm my face. It hurt just too much. Then I felt anger and vindictive and started thinking off all the ways I could get back at the people who hurt me. "I'd do something to blow up their tents at faire" or "I'll start making the same goth stuff she does and run her out of bussiness." soon i realized how foolish I sounded and how childish my thoughts were. I did remeber that I had met a lady named Leilainia of The Shimmy Sisters in Ocean Beach who owned a little gothic bazzar and tought Tribal Bellydance and she even gave me the information to two tribal/goth tribes here in San Diego. "I'll learn with her for a year" I thought to myself, " then next year I'll try out for the SCRF Tribe and be a sure thing." At that time Lucifer jumped on the bed and pushed his wiggly nose into my face smelling of celery and hay, I pulled him under the blanket and told him all the things that I was thinking and how hurt I was. As I drifted off to sleep I realized that all was right in my little world here in San Diego. As long as I have Ricky and Lucifer, a beautiful little home, and my new friends, what more could I ask for? wondering what I am going to do with faire season. I was so set on being a part of the middle Eastern tribe that I hadn't thought that far forward.

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Fool Me Once Shame On You....

It hurts too much to cry...