The Occasional Rant

Can it get better?!? I mean, really?

PatriciaRavarra — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 08:37:22 GMT

I can't be the only one who feels like they've awakened from a very long, very bad dream. I've been trying to get to the bottom of this strange sense of disorientation I've been experiencing. It's not a bad or unpleasant sensation; just ... odd. Familiar, sort of. Just in the way that I feel like I've been here before, and that I keep expecting it to end -- to wake up, as it were. Back in late August of last year, despite all evidence to the contrary, a large part of me remained cynical and doubtful that the status quo could be upset. My co-worker and I counted down the days until early November, each day subconsciously expecting the boom to really drop, for martial law to be declared, for the absolute end to any possibility of anything vaguely resembling, er, ho- ... ho-p ... just couldn't bring myself to really say it .... hope. That was it, hope. November came and went. Hope started to surge up from the place I'd lost/buried it back when the oil fields were ignited in Kuwait. Luckily, I got really busy and so the days sped by and I didn't notice that that ... hope thing was hovering around. Probably rising. But it could be ignored in the crush of rehearsals and performances and parties and and and being too busy and tired to notice. Then somehow, January 20 arrived. Without mishap or tragedy. And I was joyful, like so many people around the world. It felt like belonging to the entire human family, simply sharing that joy. I got up just in time to watch the unfolding of the day, with relative peace of mind, thanks to C-Span. No nattering commentatoring, just the images of faces, smiling faces, so many smiling faces. Then the words began, and there was that thing, that hope thing, that sensation of life bursting out of my chest, rolling down my cheeks, forcing disbelief into the shadows. Even on that cloudy day, there was such shine, such sunshine. No catchy soundbites, just straight true talk. Talked to me like a grown-up, like I would understand, like I could see the sense of it, like I was seen, like I deserved respect. No nasty threat talk, no Big Daddy Knows Best dumbing down babble, no ... lies. Just a man with a vision and the determination in the set of his jaw to see it through. Whoa. What a way to start a morning. Thanks to the Rev. Joseph Lowery, the ceremonial stuff ended with words that had me laughing out loud. You got your "Amen!", Mr. Bushy-Browed Preacher Man!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pEH37JIgBU&feature=related The rest of the day was hazy, even when the sky cleared. Dreamlike, it was. An afterglow. A rainbow high. This morning, I awoke with more thoughts in my head about what might be going on in the nation's capitol since since since there was a funeral in that majestic place and the whole world watched, weeping. THIS morning, though, my head was buzzing: shouldn't they replay the oath bit, just to make sure it's done right & proper? Which balls did they go to? Did they stay out late? Will he really start working today, first thing? Can he dance? OK, OK, I'll explain that last bit. I'm a dancer. Being able to dance is really important to me. Dancing is about being in your body, not just in your head. And when you're in your body, it is possible that you can live closer to your heart. Things that your head would accept may not pass muster when you live closer to your heart. At least I do so believe. It's because I'm just starting to wake up again. I'm just realizing how much I've missed joy and hope. Dancing is joy. See? Makes sense, right? It does to me, at least, and when I got my answer, the joy just burst out and wouldn't stop bouncing me around the room: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exPT3iFTyks Once I had that answer, I had to find out about the rest. The balls, that was enlightening. Ten. In one night. Fortunately for them, most of them were in the same convention center building. But still!!! And they danced at every single one. So I surprised myself by not anticipating that he'd take it easy today. I didn't really have a clear opinion, one way or another, but I did have a mighty curiosity. And as the day spread out before me and the news reports started building, I just woke up. I saw myself and felt my feelings and I realized hope had won. I HAD been asleep, or doped, or duped, or all of the above. It had been such a long, long, unimaginable stretch of months and years that I had felt benumbed. So much sorrow, so much despair, so much pain, frustration, anger, impotence: a recipe for checking out. So much more hopeless than hopeful. And on a dime, it turned. This is what helped break the shell that had engulfed me: OBAMA'S WHIRLWIND FIRST DAY: ECONOMY, WAR AND MORE (from an article by David Espo, AP Special Correspondent) In his first day at work (after dancing at inaugural balls past midnight with first lady Michelle Obama), President Barack Obama entered the Oval Office and: • summoned top military officials to the White House to chart a new course in Iraq • issued new ethics rules for his administration • hosted a reception at the presidential mansion for 200 inauguration volunteers and guests selected by an Internet lottery • took the oath of office again • presented a draft of an executive order that would close the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, within a year and halt all war crimes trials in the interim • presided over the White House meeting on the economy • made phone calls to leaders in the Middle East to convey his "commitment to active engagement in pursuit of Arab-Israeli peace from the beginning of his term" • announced to his staff that "As of today, lobbyists will be subject to stricter limits than under any ... other administration in history." The restrictions included a ban on gifts by lobbyists to anyone serving in the administration. • imposed a pay freeze for about 100 White House aides who earn $100,000 or more • dropped by a party for his staff at a packed DC Armory, telling his supporters that they deserve credit for his historic election victory, in part because they didn't know any better. (He said they simply didn't know that a guy like him shouldn't win, that their fundraising model wasn't typical and that the odds were stacked against them.) • Obama and his wife also played host and hostess for a select 200 at an open house. "Enjoy yourself, roam around," a smiling Obama told one guest. "Don't break anything." [Yes, Virginia, he has a real sense of humor!!] Furthermore, within hours of Obama's inauguration on Tuesday, his administration froze last-minute Bush administration regulations before they could take effect. Among them was an Interior Department proposal to remove gray wolves from Endangered Species protections in much of the northern Rocky Mountains, and a Labor Department recommendation that would allow companies that manage employee retirement plans to market investment products to plan participants. No, I haven't gone silly. OK, all right, sillier. Barack Obama is not a magician, and he certainly cannot solve all of our nation's ailments in a single stroke. If he could, he'd be a superhero, and he wouldn't need the White House. And he's not a progressive with an agenda just like mine. But what he is starting out to be is an ethical man with a solid moral compass who can and will serve as the example our poor bedraggled nation needs. With a laundry list like that for his first day at work, he's impressed me enough that I dare to hold hope in my heart that my homeland can be saved -- and to give me a reason to get back to helping that effort with energy and trust. Starting with recalling how to honor and respect the President of the United States. Giving him his due props, and giving him a chance to do right by all of us, his fellow citizens. Near the end of the day, I got this from a friend. Despite all the rambling above, it pretty much sums up how I feel at this moment: Dear World, We, the United States of America, your top quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for our 2001-2008 interruption in service. The technical fault that led to this eight-year service outage has been located, and the software responsible was replaced November 4, 2008. Early tests of the newly installed program indicate that we are now operating correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional on January 20, 2009. We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage. We look forward to resuming full service and hope to improve in years to come. We thank you for your patience and understanding. Sincerely, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Good night America, and may whatever deity you choose to believe in (even None) bless you.

Secretary for the Arts!

PatriciaRavarra — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 08:05:17 GMT

During an interview on WNYC's "Soundcheck," musician, composer, producer, arranger, and conductor Quincy Jones stated that he planned to ask President-elect Barack Obama to create a Secretary of the Arts post. Jaime Austria, who plays bass for the New York City Opera and the American Ballet Theatre Orchestra, started a petition to ask President-Elect Obama to appoint a Secretary of the Arts after hearing the podcast of "Soundcheck." While many other countries have had Ministers of Art or Culture for centuries, The United States has never created such a position. We in the arts need this and the country needs the arts--now more than ever. Please take a moment to sign this important petition and then pass it on to your friends and colleagues. www.petitiononline.com/esnyc/petition.html If you're interested in the petition, you might want to listen to the Quincy Jones interview. Here's the link: http://www.quincyjones.com/

Stunned, overjoyed, and humbled

PatriciaRavarra — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:39:28 GMT

My cynicism for and about my country has been silenced. My capacity for hope has been rekindled. I'm stunned -- just as I was when the Berlin Wall was chipped apart. I'm overjoyed -- a majority of American people have spoken and wonder of wonders, I agree with them. I'm humbled. Someone I had come to loathe, Senator John McCain, spoke words of conciliation and cooperation that I had thought outside of his purview. If he can go there, I cannot continue to hold him in such scorn. Life is amazing. So let me say "Thank you, American voters!" You've convinced me: Yes, we can!!

Palin stylist draws higher pay than policy adviser / Evita Song: Rainbow High

PatriciaRavarra — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 08:37:01 GMT

Photo caption: AP –Republican vice presidential candidate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin speaks to a crowd during a rally By JIM KUHNHENN, Associated Press Writer WASHINGTON – An acclaimed celebrity makeup artist for Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin collected more money from John McCain's campaign than his foreign policy adviser. Amy Strozzi, who works on the reality show "So You Think You Can Dance" and has been Palin's traveling stylist, was paid $22,800, according to campaign finance reports for the first two weeks in October. In contrast, McCain's foreign policy adviser, Randy Scheunemann, was paid $12,500, the report showed. McCain's campaign said the payment covered a portion of her work in September and a portion of October. An earlier campaign finance report showed Strozzi was paid $13,200 for a portion of September. In recent days, McCain and his running mate have tried to douse a furor over how their side spent their money. The Republican National Committee came under scrutiny after the party committee reported earlier this week that it had spent about $150,000 in September on wardrobe and cosmetics after Palin joined the GOP ticket. In an interview with the Chicago Tribune and Fox News on Thursday, Palin said the clothes bought for the Republican National Convention were not worth $150,000 and said most have not left her campaign plane. She also said the family shops frugally. "Those clothes are not my property. We had three days of using clothes that the RNC purchased," Palin told Fox News in an interview that aired Thursday night. There was no evidence of additional clothing purchases in the most recent reports. The Obama campaign has said it paid for hair and makeup costs associated with interviews or events, but neither the campaign nor the Democratic National Committee has paid for clothing. *************************************************************************************** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zD8kNCxsjwA [Eva’s dressers:] Eyes, hair, mouth, figure Dress, voice, style, movement Hands, magic, rings, glamour Face, diamonds, excitement, image [Eva:] I came from the people, they need to adore me So Christian Dior me from my head to my toes I need to be dazzling, I want to be Rainbow High They must have excitement, and so must I [Eva's dressers:] Eyes, hair, mouth, figure Dress, voice, style, image [Eva:] I'm their product, it's vital you sell me So Machiavell me, make an Argentine Rose I need to be thrilling, I want to be Rainbow High They need their escape, and so do I [Eva:] All my descamisados expect me to outshine the enemy I won't disappoint them I'm their savior, that's what they call me So Lauren Bacall me, anything goes To make me fantastic, I have to be Rainbow High In magical colors You're not decorating a girl for a night on the town And I'm not a second-rate queen getting kicks with a crown Next stop will be Europe The Rainbow's gonna tour, dressed up, somewhere to go We'll put on a show Look out, mighty Europe Because you oughta know whatcha gonna get in me Just a little touch of Just a little touch of Argentina's (Alaska's?) brand of star quality

You think they'd have learned by now

PatriciaRavarra — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 02:29:17 GMT

The Republicans, that is. I mean, they didn't dig too deeply into Palin's credentials, or somehow they missed the at-the-time ongoing Troopergate scandal; the pregnant teenaged daughter; the son with so many DUIs he had to enlist in the Army; the secessionist hubby history; the librarian firing incident; the travel expense fiasco. Etc., etc. You think they'd have learned, you know, that they have to do their homework. But noooooooooo -- now they foist "Joe the Plumber" on us. I'd feel sorry for old Joe if he wasn't cut from Palin cloth: screw my past and/or my present, I'm goin' for the Big Time! So I'm not competent for the job? Who gives a fuck? I'M GOIN' FOR THE BIG TIME!! http://news.aol.com/political-machine/2008/10/17/mccain-wrecks-joes-life/ This would be moot except for the interview I heard today on "As It Happens" with some woman who's still undecided, and who thinks McCain et al. have some good points. (big sigh)

Save your vote -- vote absentee

PatriciaRavarra — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 22:00:31 GMT

There's still time to register to vote using an "Absentee Ballot." You don't have to be out of the country to use it; and for many of us, it's the only way to guarantee that our votes will not be hacked into someone else's favor -- or outright destroyed. You can make a copy of your ballot choices this way, too. I've had my own troubles with an electronic voting machine, and I will never use one again ...

A brilliant idea for $10

PatriciaRavarra — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 23:57:00 GMT

Dear Friends, Hope you'll think of lots of people who will also think this is an inspired idea! Instead of (in addition to?) us all sending around emails about how horrible she is, let's all make a donation to Planned Parenthood. In Sarah Palin's name. And here's the good part: when you make a donation to PP in her name, they'll send her a card telling her that the donation has been made in her honor. Here's the link to the Planned Parenthood website: https://secure.ga0.org/02/pp10000_inhonor You'll need to fill in the address to let PP know where to send the "in Sarah Palin's honor" card. I suggest you use the address for the McCain campaign headquarters, which is: McCain-Palin for President 1235 S. Clark Street 1st Floor Arlington , VA 22202 P.S.: make sure you use that link above or choose the pulldown of Donate--Honorary or Memorial Donations, not the regular "Donate Online"

No blank check for Wall Street

PatriciaRavarra — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 06:14:17 GMT

Dear Friend, Congress is on the brink of making a one-sided deal to give George W. Bush a blank check to bail out his pals - offering nearly (or perhaps more than) a trillion taxpayer dollars to Wall Street to cover its bad debts. That works out to somewhere between $2000 and $5000 from every American family. So what do the taxpayers get in return? Nothing. No new regulation or oversight to help avoid this kind of crisis in the future. No public interest givebacks to help people whose homes are in the hands of the banks. Perhaps most shockingly of all, the taxpayers get absolutely no share in the profits if and when these finance giants bounce back, even though we are now assuming a great deal of the risk. This is worse than a bad deal - this isn't a deal at all. This is a blank check to some of the richest companies in the world. I just signed a petition calling on key members of Congress to impose a few sensible conditions to this bailout in order to protect the American people -- I hope you will too. Please have a look and take action. http://act.credoaction.com/campaign/no_blank_check/?r_by=944-1082230-6GHMIrx&rc=confemail Thanks!

Truth by Repetition by Calvin Trillin

PatriciaRavarra — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 22:20:35 GMT

(Sarah Palin, via speeches, and the press, via news accounts, discuss her position on the "bridge to nowhere.") I told them thanks, but no thanks, Palin said. We'd rather pay for it ourselves instead. But here's a tape on which you clearly say You're for the bridge. The federals should pay. I told them thanks, but no thanks, Palin said. We'd rather pay for it ourselves instead. You weren't opposed at all until the day That Congress made that project DOA. I told them thanks, but no thanks, Palin said. We'd rather pay for it ourselves instead. And then you thought it perfectly OK For you to take the money anyway. I told them thanks, but no thanks, Palin said. We'd rather pay for it ourselves instead. But... oh, skip it. This article can be found on the web at: http://www.thenation.com/doc/20081006/trillin

VP 2 B?

PatriciaRavarra — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 00:10:55 GMT

It's too long. I want folks to read, not be overwhelmed. So I've broken it up into bits. I still hope you'll read everything. The evidence just keeps mounting and mounting and mounting up. The choice of Sarah Palin by John McCain frightens me more than he does. And he scares the shit out of me. I was worried for a while there that the Repubs had succeeded in snookering almost every woman in the country with this choice; I'm ecstatic to learn this isn't true. But I don't want to keep bombarding my friends with the latest bits I find out about her, and the great news stories that are surfacing in print and on the net (but not on TV, apparently), so I'm going to list them here. I'll keep adding as "comments" whatever I find. Please, please read on: Fwd: Women Say No to Palin See email address for response after letter Friends, We are writing to you because of the fury and dread we have felt since the announcement of Sarah Palin as the Vice-Presidential candidate for the Republican Party. We believe that this terrible decision has surpassed mere partisanship, and that it is a dangerous farce-on the part of a pandering and rudderless Presidential candidate-that has a real possibility of becoming fact. Perhaps like us, as American women, you share the fear of what Ms. Palin and her professed beliefs and proven record could lead to for ourselves and for our present or future daughters. To date, she is against sex education, birth control, the pro-choice platform, environmental protection, alternative energy development, freedom of speech (as mayor she wanted to ban books and attempted to fire the librarian who stood against her), gun control, the separation of church and state, and polar bears. To say nothing of her complete lack of real preparation to become the second-most-powerful person on the planet. We want to clarify that we are not against Sarah Palin as a woman, a mother, or, for that matter, a parent of a pregnant teenager, but solely as a rash, incompetent, and all together devastating choice for Vice President. Ms. Palin's political views are in every way a slap in the face to the accomplishments that our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers so fiercely fought for, and that we've so demonstrably benefited from. First and foremost, Ms. Palin does not represent us. She does not demonstrate or uphold our interests as American women. It is presumed that the inclusion of a woman on the Republican ticket could win over women voters. We want to disagree, publicly. Therefore, we invite you to reply here with a short, succinct message about why you, as a woman living in this country, do not support this candidate as second-in-command for our nation. Please include your name (last initial is fine), age, and place of residence. We will post your responses on a blog called 'Women Against Sarah Palin,' which we intend to publicize as widely as possible. Please send us your reply at your earliest convenience-the greater the volume of responses we receive, the stronger our message will be. **PLEASE FORWARD WIDELY! If you send this to 20 women in the next hour, you could be blessed with a country that takes your concerns seriously. Stranger things have happened. Judith T. Sowder Professor Emerita, Department of Mathematics and Statistics San Diego State University Center for Research in Mathematics and Science Education Alvarado Road Suite 206 San Diego, CA 92120

So, this is what I've been up to

PatriciaRavarra — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 09:54:57 GMT

I've been AWOL from tribe for a while. Yes, the slow loading of pages started to get to me; but I was also really really really busy. My hula hālau (school) has been in practice mode for a major local hula competition, which took place the first weekend of this month. I decided to go for it, and -- YES!! I got selected to represent the Academy in the Gracious Ladies category (ages 35+). I know there are some of you who turn your noses up at the idea of there being age categories, but in a culture which honors elders and has built-in respect for its older members, this kind of thinking is more of homage than discrimination. In other words, it's not a bad thing, believe me. But back to my saga: after practicing (a lot! Tuesday and Thursday nights and Saturday afternoons) for over a month, I was fortunate enough to be chosen to join nine other dancers to compete. We took the stage at around 1:00 p.m. on Saturday, November 3rd. Results were announced the following evening, and to our joyous amazement, our group took second place out of a field of 11 competitors. The scores in our category were 447 (first place), 422 (second place), and 417 (third place); 450 points was the highest score. What's particularly remarkable about this win is that our group of 10 had never worked together before as a unit (although we have danced together in class situations; three of our number have danced together for at least 20 years with the same teacher, or Kumu). By comparison, our competitors had most probably been dancing together for a number of years. Half of our group are experienced "senior" hula dancers -- the other half are real dance "newbies" who've been dancing hula less than five years! It was a remarkable experience of mutual respect and amazing sisterhood. Our "big sisters" offered constructive criticism in gentle and helpful ways, encouraged us to keep trying, laughed and joked with us through our clumsinesses: they made it fun along with helping us understand the importance of doing a good job. On the Thursday night before our Saturday presentation, we finally "jelled" -- we became that one mind/one body/one dancer that is the essence of good troupe performance, for me, at least. When we took the floor on Saturday, we were such a unit! I think I'm still in shock about it all. I know I was there ... but it's still so hard to believe, considering that I started studying hula in August of 2003. I think this is my reward for getting through the drama that was last year ... ;}

Winners!

PatriciaRavarra — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 01:59:39 GMT

Congratulations to the Kâne (Men) of the Academy of Hawaiian Arts for their 4th place win in the Hula 'Auana category at this year's 44th Annual Merrie Monarch Competition. And congratulations to the Wâhine (Women) of the Academy of Hawaiian Arts as well: although the judges did not see it within their scope to award these wonderful dancers, their Hula Kahiko performance garnered the greatest audience response of the entire three-day competition. Ho'omaika'i!! Here are links to a feature Honolulu newspaper article about the Academy, links to photo galleries of the wâhine and the kâne performances, plus a video link to the men's winning performance: http://starbulletin.com/2007/04/16/features/story01.html http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2007/Apr/14/il/academy.html http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2007/Apr/14/il/academy_kane.html http://www.thehawaiichannel.com/video/12188916/index.html

Takin' a little break ...

PatriciaRavarra — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 00:46:23 GMT

... 'cuz we're off to Hawai'i again for the Merrie Monarch Festival. I REALLY need this break. I'm tired ... More when we get back -- or not. I may be taking a break from all this for awhile. Time to get on with the rest of life!!! Me ke aloha, ;}

My Hula Teacher Was On TV

PatriciaRavarra — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 00:22:55 GMT

I was going to entitle this "And Now For Something Completely Different ...," but I think that line has been taken. Moving right along, YES! KGO-TV, our local ABC affliate, has an afternoon show, "The View From the Bay." One of the co-hosts is Spencer Christian, formerly of "Good Morning, America." I guess they're giving away a vacation in Hawai'i and wanted some local color [so to speak] to perk up the project, and I think because we're putting on a show next weekend, they decided to feature the Academy of Hawaiian Arts and Kumu Mark Keali'i Ho'omalu on their show. They filmed on Monday night, and the show aired this past Thursday, February 22, at 3:00 p.m. So for anyone who's been following my hula drama of the past year, here's a chance to put faces and places to the tale. This is the link: http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=viewfrombay&id=5057117 Enjoy!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PatriciaRavarra — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 00:05:03 GMT

I have to get this outta my system -- I just got off the phone with our friendly internet service provider, AT&T. The phone call lasted 3-AND-A-HALF-HOURS!!!!! I was put on hold for 30 minutes after the offshore tech failed to fix the problem (which was THEIR fault). I had to blow both hula practice and my voice lesson for this. I'm going back to bed and cry for a while ... goddammit --- Gotta give props to Selendra in Texas, who fixed the problem. In under 10 minutes. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa------

My New Career ... again

PatriciaRavarra — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 21:44:03 GMT

So last night I auditioned for the Oakland Symphony Chorus -- and I was accepted!!! It was the first time I'd ever auditioned for anything. It was also the first night of learning the chorus part of "Porgy and Bess," the great Gershwin opera, and I was invited to jump in. What a difference from what I'm used to!! This may sound naive to anyone who does this sort of thing regularly, but I've been singing in a community chorus (for a long time, but still) where there are no auditions, and where experience doesn't matter. In the Community Music Chorus, sight reading is a plus but not required because there is regular review of the individual voice/section parts; the accompanist will even play the parts so that the singers can hear it. The Symphony Chorus, on the other hand, is sort of the opposite: it's ALL sight reading, and almost NO reviews of individual section parts. You gotta know your stuff. Here's my props to my voice teacher, Eleanor Cohen, who's been working hard with me in the last year to teach me how to sight read. Without her help, I'd have never even considered auditioning for a group like the OSC. It's more work than I'd expected, but hey, work is good. And I don't know where this is going to lead, but it feels, oh, I don't know, sort of promising. Oh, yeah, and I have a singing gig accompanying the fabulous Eileen Hazel with harmonies on Saturday, January 27, and the Nomad Cafe in Berkeley. Showtime is 7:30 p.m.!

Time Heals

PatriciaRavarra — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 10:02:34 GMT

And a bandaid or two here and there can't but help. I'm back!!! At my old, first hula school, that is. Back with my old friends, my old teacher, my hula family. I'm SOOOOOOO glad to be back! Last Thursday was my first class there in just over a year. Although I had shared the news that I'd be returning with a couple of the older dancers who been a support to me during the trials and tribulations of the last year, I hadn't told anyone in my class. I just didn't want to have to deal with "When are you coming back?" or "Just a few more weeks!" and "Aren't you excited?" I was doing enough of that on my own, thankyouverymuch. Thursday afternoon I did call the one classmate who has consistently expressed her desire for my return, just so I wouldn't shock her -- or hurt her feelings that I hadn't shared this news with her. Other than that, mum was the word. So it was interesting to observe folks' reaction, considering that the place is in a hubbub getting ready for the next big show (March 3). What surprised me is how many people expressed to me how glad they are that I'm back. I know I'd missed them; I'm truly humbled to learn that I was missed as well. One of the most remarkable reactions was of the person who walked right by me as though it were no big thing, but then turned and walked up to me about 5 minutes later. He just stood and stared at me for at least a minute, and then smiled, and said, "This is awesome." What else was awesome for me WAS TO BE DANCING AGAIN!! Not drilling, not repeating the same basic exercises over and over and over and over again, but dancing, really dancing. I learned two of the three new dances they're working on that very night. I was challenged, physically and mentally, I worked hard, and I had the best fun I've had for a while. Relief, joy, exhilaration, they all mingled into a sweaty rush, and three hours (!) went by in a blink. And yes, I was hella sore the next day, but it was that good kind of sore that's your body telling you "You needed that." I had class again on Saturday, but I to leave early -- for a hula gig, helping out some of the folks who'd helped me out with my performance back in September. When I told my teacher I had to leave early, he responded that it wasn't a problem. But then out of the blue he said, "It was good to see you back on the floor." Hearing that ... well, let's just say that I AM really glad to be back ... home.

See you next week

PatriciaRavarra — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 23:30:24 GMT

It's around 3:30 in the afternoon and it's the day before the day before Christmas. I'm just about to change out of my street clothes into what will be my uniform for the next day-and-a-half: a pair of sweat pants, a thermal shirt, and a pair of comfy shoes. I'm going to be busy. The picture here is not my kitchen, but it's in the kitchen that I'll be working. My tradition for over 25 years has been to host a big party on Christmas Eve. This tradition began when I married a man I met during my studies in Poland, and Polish Christmas Eve became a regular feature in our home. The man went away, but Polish Christmas Eve dinner with its 12 dishes continued, involving my preparing -- from scratch -- rich ruby red beet soup with wild mushroom dumplings; savory sauerkraut with mushrooms; baked fish; boiled potatoes; a couple of "bouquet": one of vegetables, one of fruit; plum cake or poppy seed cake; and Polish-style cheesecake. Pickles and pickled mushrooms, and herring in a cream and a marinade rounded out the meal, with lots and lots of vodka on hand to wash it down. This year, my (new) husband and I decided to transform this event in a Major Way. We'll still celebrate on Christmas Eve, that will probably never change; but starting tomorrow, and continuing each year for the next twelve years, we plan to shift out or alter one Polish dish for a Hawaiian or Japanese one (to pay respects to his Japanese ancestry and our mutual passion for Hawai'i). This year, the cheesecake will take on a Hawaiian flavor, as mango and pineapple flavors replace raspberry and raisins. So I'm signing off for a few days. Time to leave my cyber-friends and cater to the ones I see in the flesh. Here's my wish to you all for a wonderful, magical holiday, with lots of joy and love to spread and share. See you next week!! ;>

As Keith said, cancer sucks

PatriciaRavarra — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 01:26:15 GMT

It sucks the life out of people, and it succeeded again last Tuesday, taking the life of my friend Larnie's brother, Tim (http://people.tribe.net/hap). This marks the third time this year that someone I knew and cared for (or close to someone I know and care for) died of cancer. I know lots of people, but someone that just seems like too many people at one time from one circle of family/friends/colleagues/associates. It feels like an epidemic ... Tim was also a poet: http://www.infoflow.com/larnie/timspoems/. He wrote the following just three months ago; I offer it here as an epitaph to a life lived full throttle: In these chemical minutes I spend my time Lost to precious time Lost to you to myself And the world Caught in the chemical smile That too easy way to say goodbye. Nevertheless I admire My ability to suffer And withstand I will die not so much as an explosion but more The dam being breached Clean water spilling forth That time is not now Thankfully but be handy As all of our times are numbered. We share this With everything. Keith and I will be joining Larnie and local family and friends tomorrow to acknowledge Tim's passing at an Irish wake (as he requested), from 3:00 - 7:00 p.m. If you have the chance during those hours, toss one back for Tim, too, wherever you are. He'd like that.

My new career

PatriciaRavarra — Mon, 06 Nov 2006 09:17:37 GMT

That's a joke, really. Or at least it's not really serious. But there is a facet of my life that is expanding, and I have no idea where it will go from here. It's something for which I have a passion, but which is also unweighted; I do it because I enjoy it, deeply, but I could care less if it ever "develops" into anything other than fun. It's singing. I grew up in a household where music was welcome. My mom and dad played no instruments, and my mom was self-described as 'tone deaf.' She wasn't really, but she had no illusions about having a great voice. My dad whistled and hummed. There was always music in the house, whether it be radio or records (remember them?). I remember my little girl days, waking up on school days to a Benny Goodman tune that was the theme song to some radio show my mom listened to. In high school, I joined the school chorus, and performed in plays and concerts. Marilyn Thickett was the star singer at my school, a soprano whose voice seemed such a gift. Back then, I was a little envious of a voice such as hers. But I didn't really pursue either that emotion or any training. My interest was stronger for the visual arts. And college. And boys. I don't recall singing much after high school. Oh, sure, around the house, and always in my car. It wasn't until 1994, when I suggested to a boyfriend that we sign up for the annual "Sing It Yourself Messiah" that singing outside of the realm of house and car occurred to me. My ex before this fellow had not liked hearing me sing much, whereas the boyfriend encouraged it. So I guess he's to blame! Anyway, I thought it would be a fun date; his response, though, was less than enthusiastic. He said something like, "Why pay to go and sing when I can go somewhere else and sing for free?" Turns out he belonged to a community chorus and orchestra which had recently begun performing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and the Ode to Joy chorus every New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. The conductor of the orchestra and chorus was Swiss, and it's apparently a tradition there to perform this work at that time. I was intrigued -- and enamored -- so I decided to give it a try. I've been singing it every year since. The boyfriend is now a friend, instead, and a few years back my husband joined the chorus, too. About 3 years ago, the chorus director surprised me by suggesting I take voice lessons (no, not because I sucked!). He said, "It would be good for you." Well, I have complete trust in him in this regard, and so I took his suggestion to heart. A few months after that conversation, I began weekly voice lessons. The first thing I learned is that I had a _lot_ to learn! But I enjoyed it, finding a new strength, and beginning to develop the kind of vocal quality I had admired (and even envied) in folks like Ms. Thickett. In the interim, I've performed solo and in duets at voice parties, recitals, and chorus parties. I've performed the alto solo from the Ode to Joy at small concert events. I'm a member of a Hawaiian music ensemble which has performed at parties and a local festivals. And this fall, I've performed at two events with local singer Eileen Hazel, singing harmony with her on her own songs. Last night was the second time I sang with Eileen; another performer on the bill suggested that he'd like me to sing with him, too, sometime. And I'm having a blast! Even with the work of training -- and it is work: think isometrics for the inside of your mouth and throat -- even with that ... it seems easy. It's fun. I work at it, but it's not like 'work,' it's just something I want to do well. Even memorizing new songs, and getting notes wrong in the process ... it's easy. Not effortless, but not hard or scary. Maybe because I have nothing to lose. I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone, or gain anything, or make an impression, or money. Would I be heartbroken if I could never sing again? Perhaps. But then again, I could still sing in my head, so it wouldn't be gone forever. I love that I can have this attitude about something I enjoy so much. It would be great if I could learn how to transfer it to other aspects of my life. Maybe. My mind's not completely made up on that one yet. Anyone out there have any opinions to share on the subject? In the meantime, I'm going to see if I can figure out how to post some of last night's show on YouTube!! ;>

What a Wonderful Week!

PatriciaRavarra — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 08:54:23 GMT

This past week encompassed it all: long days and late nights sewing a performance costume; hula class and practice; driving late at night through northern California farmland; celebrating a friend's daughter's Bat Mitzah; hula performing; and dragging my ass across the floor in a hula workshop. Not all in that order ~ but that's a fair description of "all," isn't it!! ;> I'll start at the end and work my way backwards with the highlights, since the beginning of this mayhem held a special and magical moment for me: The hula conference finally arrived on Friday, and I went, and I had a blast. Even though I was all by myself and didn't know a soul there, I felt so much joy and met with so much friendliness. It's kind of hard to describe, except to say that it felt like being in Hawai'i (but I was in Sacramento!). So much aloha ~~ I was simply in a state of bliss. The workshops were challenging but in a stimulating way; I learned two new hula, and that's always a good thing! I even got some insight into the drama that had encompassed my life for so many months from the best friend of my former teacher. Gentle support from an unexpected corner ... life can really be surprising. And I found the perfect [fake] floral headpiece for my performance of last Saturday night. In addition, I had another treat: because I arrived at the hotel so late -- near midnight -- (I was delayed because I went to my evening hula class) the only room they had available for me was ... a suite!! With a GIGANTIC Jacuzzi, with a mirrored ceiling area. What a blast!! After those two workshops, it actually came in handy: I got a liquid leg massage, which I sorely [giggle] needed. And then there was this extra special thing, which happened on Wednesday. I had a rehearsal for the benefit concert I was dancing in on Saturday night. It involved members of the orchestra and chorus I've been singing with for 12 years. After seeing my dance (a hula), one of the orchestra members asked me what my Hawaiian name is. And in my true smart mouth manner, I said, "I don't have one, but if you'd like to give me one, I'll take it!" So she replied, "Naleilehua." And I almost fainted. I asked her, more than once, if she was kidding, and she said, no, she wasn't. She went on to say that it had been her mother's name, and that her mother would be proud for me to have it. I have to interject here that giving names is a Very Big Deal in Hawaiian culture. It's not something that's done lightly, and as a consequence, a Hawaiian name is something that is deeply cherished (especially if one is not Hawaiian). To be given a family member's name is very, very special. Among non-Hawaiian hula dancers, having a Hawaiian name is also something to be desired; however, it has to be given, it really can't be seriously asked for. It's sort of like, if you let people know that you really, really, really want a Hawaiian name, no one will ever give it to you. So I was so stunned by this great gift that I didn't even think to ask until a few minutes later if this person, who I've known for years, was Hawaiian. I mean, she has a Hawaiian name -- but I knew her name before I knew really anything about Hawai'i, and I'd always thought it was a just nickname. But she told me her mother was half-Hawaiian. And then I realized that she knew exactly what she had done, and knew the depth of the honor she had offered to me. So now I have a new name: Naleilehua [NAH lay e lay WHO wah], which means, among other things, "the garlands of the lehua flower." The new photos on this page are images of the lehua, and of a lehua lei. The lehua blossom is the flower of the Big Island of Hawai'i, which is the Hawaiian island most dear to my heart, and which feels so much like home to me. The lehua blossom is also the favorite flower of the goddess Pele. There are tales and legends about the lehua, and many songs are sung about its beauty. I have been honored and I feel blessed; and I am just beginning to take in the impact of this seemingly simple gesture that nonetheless feels like a sea change in my existence.

It's A New Day

PatriciaRavarra — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 08:37:59 GMT

And it looks bright and sunny. Hula class was fun tonight. It's finally starting to be a bit more challenging, and I'm meeting some nice people. And I realized something new earlier this week: I got an e-mail announcing an annual hula conference taking place at the end of this month. There will be workshops and guest teachers, some of whom are Big Names in the hula world; they travel over from Hawai'i for this. I've known about this event for some time, but I never made the effort to go, even though it's only about an hour-and-a-half drive away. I was a hula snob (the mindset is something like this): I don't need to go to that. My teacher is the best. Nee-ner, nee-ner ... But since leaving the old school and experiencing other teachers, my nose has dropped back out of the stratosphere. What I realize I'm learning is the wisdom of this old Hawaiian saying: " 'A'ohe pau ka 'ike i ka halau ho'okahi," which means "knowledge doesn't end in a single school," and which is popularly translated as: "All knowledge is not taught in the same school." I'm learning this with every new class I attend, and so I signed up to attend the conference. I'll only be able to go for one day because of a pre-scheduled performance (mine), but I'm really looking forward to it. It's in three weeks, so get ready for my "report!" ;>

It's been 30 days now ...

PatriciaRavarra — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 00:51:16 GMT

... and I don't remember exactly where I learned this tradition, or when I adopted it, but I now honor the practice of a 30-day remembrance or observance of the death of a loved one. Yvonne passed away 30 days ago, and so it is now time to lift the veil of sorrow, and look out into the world with dried eyes and a renewed sense of hope. Just after Yvonne's death, I started reading a book called "We Are Their Heaven -- Why the Dead Never Leave Us," by Allison DuBois (the "Medium" is about her). I don't know that I believe everything she says -- I have big questions about reincarnation, for example -- but early on in the book, I was fascinated by this passage: "When someone who died appears in our dreams, it's a visit. It's that person's way of telling us that he or she is still with us and a part of our life." I had had a dream about Yvonne a few days after her death. In the dream, she had been very ill, but had recovered completely. She was much younger, even younger than when I had first met her, and she was radiant. Overjoyed and full of love. She gave me a big hug, and I could feel the love flow out of her into me. I could still feel the joyfulness of that hug when I woke up, and the feeling stayed with me all day long. It continues to sustain me, knowing she is at peace and loving us all the while. Today I received an e-mail from her sister which seems like the perfect way to end this post, so I'm going to share it: "Aloha Pat, "I forgot to tell you today when we spoke, the owner of Red Onion, Johnnie (one of Yvonne's favorite hamburger joints) just recently opened up a Sushi Restaurant in Pinole called Happy Sashimi (GREAT SUSHI!). Anyway, Johnnie was greatly affected by Yvonne's death. He had gotten to know her through the years that Yvonne patronized the business and brought so many of the family members there as well. The last time we went into the Sushi Restaurant we gave the Sushi Chef an idea for a sushi dish and Johnnie agreed to call it after Yvonne (kinda of funny since Yvonne really didn't like fish), it's basically California roll with Poke salad over it - it tastes GREAT and it's called the Yvonne roll now. "Looking forward to getting together with you and Keith. "Love to both of you, "Carmen" Aloha 'oe, pumehana hoaloha!!

... and now for something almost completely different ...

PatriciaRavarra — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 07:48:12 GMT

'Way back on July 5th, I got tagged again. I finally came up with a new list: :P 1. I didn't learn to swim until I was in college. I had learned to "float" as a kid, but because of sinus troubles, never mastered breathing in and out, etc., etc. I'm still a lousy swimmer (my legs sink), but I've swum in the Bay and gone snorkeling at night. With a manta ray (and other people). In Hawai'i. 2. I didn't own my own car until I was in my mid-20's. I'd learned to drive in high school (yey, Driver's Ed!), but always -- sob! -- let the guy do the driving. All in all, maybe that's not such a bad thing (see below ...) 3. I once had 40 houseplants: it was me, two cats, and the plants. No time for a boyfriend in those days ... one of the plants was a gardenia, and I got that baby to bloom indoors. Unfortunately, it also attracted yellow jackets into my apartment, which is a perfect segue for: 4. I hate bugs. Crawling, leaping, flying, jumping, I don't care, I HATE them. Actually, I'm afraid of them. Irrationally so. You know that scene in the old version of "1984," where the hero gets freaked out by being confined next to a cell full of rats? If that were me and it was bugs instead, I'd just keel over dead from heart failure. No shit. 5. On the other hand, I really like snakes. My brother and I had them as pets when we were kids. I love the coolness of their skin, and how they seem to move without effort. I like the word "slithering," too. One of my favorite photos of all time -- which is in a box, in storage, somewhere -- is of me with a boa constrictor wrapped around my waist, draped over my shoulder, and down one arm. (It was a summer day at the Bronx Zoo, I was hot, and man, that snake was COOL ... ) 6. I can be a very pissed off driver. Not that I drive recklessly -- not really! -- but I usually have very, very pointed remarks to make about other drivers. I surprise myself, sometimes, with how irritated I get. It's a good thing people can't hear what I'm saying about them!!! OK, that's it. Everything else is either too boring, or 'way to private to broadcast on the internet. So last time, I tagged Baby K, Sandi, Waihili (are you game for this?), Autumn (ditto?), Anita, and Elizabeth/Mahina. I don't think any of them took me up on it, so this time, I'm tagging Keith, Molitov (if she ever checks in again), hOtGuAdLuPe', Ms. Fred, and all the folks I tagged the first time!! You're IT!!!

Synchronicity, or a Tale of Life & Death in Hula

PatriciaRavarra — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 20:55:10 GMT

Yvonne took me to my first hula competition in 1997. I had never seen competition class hula before, and I was enthralled. So I think it's fair to say that Yvonne was the midwife to the birth of my life in hula. Over the ensuing years, Yvonne and I would just about always go to hula performances together. The most special ones were those of both Kumu Hula [hula teacher] Mark Keali'i Ho'omalu (of Oakland) and Kumu Hula Patrick Makuakane (of San Francisco). The most special of all, though, was the Merrie Monarch Festival in 2005, Yvonne's first. She and Keith and I were there together! At that first competition back in 1997, there was one dance with chanting that gave me goosebumps: it was one of the most exciting things I had ever seen. It was performed by Kumu Ho'omalu and his school [halau] Na Mele Hula 'Ohana. Fast forward to August of 2003: I began taking classes from Kumu Ho'omalu at his new halau, the Academy of Hawaiian Arts. When I told Yvonne, she just beamed at me. Didn't say a word, just grinned this big-ass grin. A little later that same evening, though, she warned me: she knew him and his reputation, and reminded me that he can be "difficult." Fast forward again to 2006, when I learned personally how "difficult" Kumu Mark can be. Yvonne was one of many who urged me to sever ties with him, which I did, as amicably as possible, in June. I wasn't going to give up on hula, though. She was delighted -- again, with silence but this time with a sly smile -- when I told her I'd be starting classes in July with Kumu Patrick Makuakane. A little while later, when the topic came up again, she just said, "It's about time." 'Nuf said! I took my first class with Kumu Patrick on Thursday evening, July 6. Yvonne passed away about five hours later. One door has closed, and another has opened ... make of it what you will. As for me: mahalo nui loa, Yvonne!