I can do anything... i can, and will, do everything


however, right now i'm pretty tired.

Apartment booked for one night in frankfurt
car booked for one day from frankfurt down to eagles nest in munstertal, germany.

I did not realize that i will be studying for 2 weeks in Hitler's summer vacation resort. I'm interested to see it, to see if anything is still standing from that era, to see what the energy is like. I can't imagine that Juliu and Gina would have chosen any place with bad Juju for the european educational headquarters of Gyrotonic® so, well, i'll find out the rest of this on sunday.

It's been a long day. Apparantly the clutch needs to be replaced on our car, which is fine. It was a great deal at 1700 for a miata with less than 100k on it, and we've already put 5 k on the thing, but it certainly added to the work load tonight, and i still want to sew a few items out of bamboo fabric before we head to bed.

Meeting up with friends in Frankfurt tomorrow will make this all seem a lot better.

Steamed artichokes, fruit crisp for the plane ride

extra fruit crisp packed along with 2 huge packs of sabra hummous for easy snacking once we reach the black forest.
It's going to be an amazing rest of the month.

now this,

i know.

Pleasure is a freedom song,
But it is not freedom.
It is the blossoming of your desires,
But it is not their fruit.
It is the depth calling unto a height,
But it is not the deep nor the high.
It is the caged taking wing,
But it is not space encompassed.
Ay, in very truth, pleasure is a freedom-song.
And I fain would have you sing it with fullness of heart; yet I would not have you lose your hearts in the singing.
Some of your youth seek pleasure as if it were all, and they are judged and rebuked.
I would not judge nor rebuke them. I would have them seek.
For they shall find pleasure, but not her alone:
Seven are her sisters, and the least of them is more beautiful than pleasure.
Have you not heard of the man who was digging in the earth for roots and found a treasure?
And some of your elders remember pleasures with regret like wrongs committed in drunkenness.
But regret is the beclouding of the mind and not its chastisement.
They should remember their pleasures with gratitude, as they would the harvest of a summer.
Yet if it comforts them to regret, let them be comforted.
And there are among you those who are neither young to seek nor old to remember;
And in their fear of seeking and remembering they shun all pleasures, lest they neglect the spirit or offend against it.
But even in their foregoing is their pleasure.
And thus they too find a treasure though they dig for roots with quivering hands.
But tell me, who is he that can offend the spirit?
Shall the nightingale offend the stillness of the night, or the firefly the stars?
And shall your flame or your smoke burden the wind?
Think you the spirit is a still pool which you can trouble with a staff?
Oftentimes in denying yourself pleasure you do but store the desire in the recesses of your being.
Who knows but that which seems omitted today, waits for tomorrow?
Even your body knows its heritage and its rightful need and will not be deceived. And your body is the harp of your soul,
And it is yours to bring forth sweet music from it or confused sounds.
And now you ask in your heart, "How shall we distinguish that which is good in pleasure from that which is not good?"
Go to your fields and your gardens, and you shall learn that it is the pleasure of the bee to gather honey of the flower,
But it is also the pleasure of the flower to yield its honey to the bee.
For to the bee a flower is a fountain of life,
And to the flower a bee is a messenger of love,
And to both, bee and flower, the giving and the receiving of pleasure is a need and an ecstasy.
People of Orphalese, be in your pleasures like the flowers and the bees.


- Khalil Gibran-

so i'm posting notes up on facebook, but it's not quite the same.

I know too many people there through work, or people there who haven't known me in as deep a context as my friends here on tribe.

so here are some of the things that i couldn't really find context to say on facebook.

I've been practically straight-edge ( with the exception of sex and the occasional cigarette) since the first of this year. I'd been severely curtailing my partying up until that point since about september, but there were always backslides. So now, with the wedding looming close, and wanting to have a kid in a year or two, it's time to clean up my act.

It's caused all kinds of changes. I go to bed at nine or ten sometimes, and i wake up at seven or eight. I'm now trying to get a handle on my " oversleeping" . ( it's still oversleeping when you get ten hours, even if you're waking up at eight am when you went to bed by 10) and i'm remembering that oversleeping makes you as tired as undersleeping.

I'm considering adding in a nightly practice of hatha yoga like i used to have. Everything was so good when i did that, but i no longer have the drive to stand at the edge of my mat when i'd love to just lie down and watch a movie.

Being in Maui is really the perfect thing for me right now, given all of this. I miss Iran quite a bit, and Tamara ( my master trainer) is also sad he's not here because she envisions us co-teaching the courses that i'm assisting her in right now. But we call each other and it's only a week apart.

Apparantly, after they'd dropped me off at the airport, and he'd gone to work, Domino Fats tore apart my nativity scene. She'd not touched it since i scolded her for playing fetch with the donkey. This was her way of saying " what's up?!?!? i'm alone !!!! where the hell is mommy!!?!?!?". I woke to a text today from Iran assuring me that baby jesus was back in his manger and all was safe. Snarf Snarf.

I'm realizing how much i killed time by having a drink and standing at my cutting table, letting the night take shape around my chaos.
It's very different now. There is a lot of spare time. Good. I have a lot of things to do.

With that, i'll close off this blog and open my book.

on to the research portion of my break.