Môrosophoi

I <3 fun

perpetual_Dawn — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:56:21 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0qFDQFzGr8 Saturday Circus with the Vancouver Juggling club. :) Dawn

complex

perpetual_Dawn — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:20:37 GMT

Things deep inside are unraveling, it's an ineffable experience. I can't seem to make words linear anymore. My diary writings are webs of thought, any my blog gone dry. rest assured, I'm still listening to who's left here.

healing forgotten pain

perpetual_Dawn — Tue, 26 May 2009 02:49:12 GMT

Busking is getting harder, I need to change my show. I have some serious body pains I need to look into healing & going hard core isn't helping. Shoulders, hips, knees & neck all through the back... I'm not supposed to be in this much pain as a 28 year old, i don't think? I stretch everyday...I forgot about the pain while doing other things. So begins another renewed healing path. This was a video of the warm up & crowd building I was doing in English bay last Thursday. I need to slow down.. I can see many things I could do for improvement. Ryan and I are going to choreograph more tomorrow, but I am glad I got this to see myself, the reflection really helps my perspective. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izAGauOdi3U

reason

perpetual_Dawn — Mon, 18 May 2009 19:44:07 GMT

I busked hard this week and it is fulfilling, inspiring, humbling and personally creates so much magic. Contact juggilng gives me reason to talk to so many strangers of different ilk, of all ages and class, ethnicity and origins. I get to hear so many stories of what my lucid ball brings out in them. "Is that made of electricity?" a little boy asks, a cute little girl demands more "tricksies" to which only my most difficult moves can impress the 5 year old, then business men tell me that it's pure magic when I do a palm circle. It's exhausting, and although I do have many photos taken of me, I have none to show. I have been on the beach for the past 4 days, working as hard as I can - but I know I could push harder. I stretch before I leave, and in my breaks. I bath and stretch when I get home, but my back still feels like it wants to seize sometimes. Ryan has been giving massages ~ I am so grateful for them. Although I am always juggling, school gets in the way most days and now this is back to training. I am out of shape in my training regimen, but it gets better with time. My body rolls feel flowy like and isolation after 5 days on the street, and I can head roll the 4' acrylic now. My shoulder is still in pain at times, even after 6 weeks break and I'll be honest when I say I am glad it's raining today. I need the day off to get my life in order, my body rested and my mind together as I prepare. Busking is a strange and lonely job, yet it puts me into this meditative state. The world glows after a day of training my bliss, sharing it with anyone who's around to see, get paid a wage I could live off of. It becomes a state where my thoughts form in poetics, where the world feels perfect.

one ends, one begins.

perpetual_Dawn — Mon, 04 May 2009 17:38:23 GMT

I have been meaning to write About the gratitude I have for the DIY cultures, Tribe, Tribal Harmonix, Om, and all they are connected with. The gratitude I have for what they have taught me, The ability to create beauty, for no rhyme or reason better, Than to create an interconnected community. I am so grateful to be a part of this whole, to represent these ideas, and inspire the same in others. I fulfilled all of my accomplishments this year. I will be attending the social work program, the juggling fest was a grand success. I believe wholy that it is the community that inspires these accomplishments in me and I feel this connection to the core. Thank you for being a part of that connection. A special thank you to Cassandra for your words on Sunday at the festival.

AlienJon Workshops in Victoria!

perpetual_Dawn — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 14:08:54 GMT

http://www.poipixies.com/ajworkshopdetails.html I am excited about the juggling community here in Victoria. It has been fairly solid for years, but now people are importing the amazing ones and showing the remainder of non-believers what flow is really all about. I can't wait to become obsessive about juggling again. Busking this summer will provide me with a great amount of time to work on my stuff. Its almost getting to the next level, and if I work really fucking hard this summer, I'll surpass 3 more. Then, I will have over the head rolls and up & down the leg rolls solidified finally. Then, maybe, I'll be good at juggling. :)

A little too far to the right

perpetual_Dawn — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:02:20 GMT

There's one week to go for the festival and I feel pain, so I go to the doctor. She believes that there should be assessments, rehabilitation, there there is built up scar tissue because I waited too long and of course No juggling. No juggling for my juggling festival? Man, life is hilarious. Nothing like working on a full creative project for a year and I will have to be passive and gimpy throughout the whole thing. I'm glad the world has a sense of humour about it, otherwise what would make it interesting and challenging, right? I suppose If I brace my right arm properly I can re-balance myself by practicing everything left dominant. Le sigh. (and 4 days to go!)

It's all coming together...

perpetual_Dawn — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 18:13:09 GMT

Victoria Juggling Festival 2009 Amazing. Its these moments of creation that you realize what you were working towards all along. Dawn

The race

perpetual_Dawn — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 20:11:42 GMT

Finals remind me of when I used to competitively run in high school. The last stretch, when you can see the finish line is the sign to push it. The time when you look for the last reserves of energy you have, analyze the time it will take you to get to the end, and learn to use every last drop of will you have to go go go faster... Empty the reserves, feel your strength, go past the burn and watch the world whirl by as your focus becomes narrower, you can only see directly ahead and its time to giv'er everything you've got to get to your goals.

phone call

perpetual_Dawn — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 02:47:14 GMT

I got a phone call today. It was nearly the call that said "Hi Dawn, I'm calling to remind you that your dreams exist and that we'd like to work with you soon." It validated my priorities I have chosen, it brings me a step closer to whatever that dream is in reality. Things are clear, forward, straight ahead. Unrelated, after the Victoria Juggling Festival I will be moving back to my old apartment on Commercial Drive. I'm stoked, I miss the tribe.

Victoria Juggling Festival April 3-5

perpetual_Dawn — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 01:21:00 GMT

So, the plan is in, the place is booked, and we have Tony Duncan coming to our festival this year! I'm so stoked. More info to follow. COME COME! We want all playful people coming, spinning, throwing and tumbling around our fun space... and its FREE! :D Dawn

PLAY dammit!

perpetual_Dawn — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:18:11 GMT

It's needed. http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=the-serious-need-for-play Scientific American Mind says so. But seriously, I think this is where barriers can be dropped for emotional healing. Only the Western religions count spirituality as a solemn affair. Apparently the need for play goes into the brain stem, which means it's as deep as all of our fears. I'm so happy people are studying this.

losing my voice

perpetual_Dawn — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:45:51 GMT

I have attempted many blog entries, and I cannot seem to post. My diary entries are short and dispersed. Forced writing for school takes my time yet, I have stopped crying while writing papers. (Until now, I cried through everyone one) I found something new. Understanding I can't explain. My ideas seem so clear until I try to speak them to you. Something resonates deeply, and I nearly want to shout it. There are no words to describe the loss of confusion. but it's gone. no meds. no meditation. some complicated uncontrollable chaos left. I hope it never comes back. but you can never appreciate mental silence grounded happiness more than when its on the far side of depression. The farther I go on my journey, the more I seem to leave behind. letting it all go, one thing at a time.

there was a moment

perpetual_Dawn — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 03:57:54 GMT

a few moments, really, ebbing in, and flowing out, lapsed over a few days to a week, I felt peace. It is the only time I remember feeling peace in my life, and I can't reach it at this moment, but it was there, and can be again. That's nice.

Powerful and peaceful

perpetual_Dawn — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:20:07 GMT

There was a powerful collective wave yesterday, everyone embraced change, look forward to change and are excited for change. Who knows what this change will bring, but there was a shift towards the future and everyone's taking it one day at a time.

Imp flow

perpetual_Dawn — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 17:58:22 GMT

There was once a yelp for joy each time I landed a behind the neck roll, yet now there's a yelp of frustration if I drop it. I got this trick the first time I tried, but it was lost on me for years after that one time that had me believe it was possible. I finally achieved it solidly after 3 years, then it required smoothing. Smoothing and smoothing a hundred times a day, left and right, inside, outside, drills until my body knows the path, until the ball was still while I walked underneath it. Upside down, twists, corkscrews, up and down, learning about all this space and so many variations of body movement. I tried popping the ball across, daaamn. Yet, for body rolls my correction lines can have a wide margin sometimes, but for me, I am finally starting to achieve this feeling of complete freedom to let the ball go where it wants, I just have to align the track nicely so it has a smooth journey. So, There is an person accomplishment I need to recognize that I have achieved: Absolute freedom to move around any improvised flow of the ball. This has been one of my most disciplined accomplishments. I take away confidence knowing I achieved it. :)

Happy Holidays everyone!

perpetual_Dawn — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 18:58:16 GMT

I love snow. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=ttHe9UpLKAg

New snow, new phone

perpetual_Dawn — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 18:57:31 GMT

and I lost my good gloves. I really enjoy this quote from Obama "We're not going to agree on every single issue, but what we have to do is be able to create an atmosphere where we can disagree without being disagreeable and then focus on those things that we hold in common as Americans," if only he said 'as humans' it would resonate with everything I feel.

Great flow

perpetual_Dawn — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:39:20 GMT

I had this day on Salt Spring Sunday where everything magically flowed. The bus pulled up as I got to the stop, both hitches I had were acquaintances whom didn't realize till half way through the car trip. I was able to get creative and see new friends. It was so refreshing to follow the path that day. Check out the mask I made. Its inspired a whole costume tree idea, I just need the stilts to start making it. Andrea on Salt Spring is having another leather mask workshop this Saturday, check it out - I had so much fun - and all the proceeds go to her circus project for refugee camps in Thailand. Weeee! One more paper and I'm really freeee! (for 3 weeks anyway)

Radiance!

perpetual_Dawn — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 21:08:38 GMT

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo STOKED DJ's and Black lights and spinners and jugglers and glowy-firey goodness all wrapped in a nice blanket of videos for 5 hours of the night! SO COOL. :D

The end of a long few weeks

perpetual_Dawn — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 04:25:51 GMT

I feel like I have been working hard, without a day off for 3 weeks. The last week I have left the house at 7:30 every morning not to return till 9 or later every night. Efficient, and long days of work. It feels good, exhausting and like my bed today is the grandest place in the world. My body aches, so I took a hot bath, then stretched for an hour today. I feel my muscles slowly coming undone. I still feel the deep bruise on my leg from that bike fall 2 months ago when it's stretched. Releasing the stress from the whole month, letting my mind tie up its random thoughts about everything I have been cramming in my head. I rearranged my furniture so I could juggle more & study more. There are a lot of epiphanies happening, too fresh to speak of, but things finally feel grounded in Vic, and are rolling along. except today because I'm not leaving bed. Mmmm...

I heart HHC

perpetual_Dawn — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:11:23 GMT

I love happy hardcore. It makes me soooo happy. I know the arguments against it. I am aware of its simplicity. In fact I love its simplicity, its cheese the happy happy fast beat. It gets me going in a way not other music does. Obviously, its somewhat nostalgic, as the scene is practically dead. That only means I get to only enjoy it myself now, where there used to be a community that shared my passion for it. This is what gets me going at this early 5 am rising. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=hsbHMZe0hIA

Going through old footage

perpetual_Dawn — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 15:17:36 GMT

I found a nice version of something I have tried to accomplish for a long time. Behind the Neck Isolation http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=cb-MZfrGyTE

Spanning the fauclty

perpetual_Dawn — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:34:13 GMT

This semester I am not in a program, I had to take a couple credits to get into one for next semester first. Instead, I am in a philosophy course, a Art Film course and a Social work course. Its amazing to see the dichotomy that lives under one name. My brain is breaking from all the logical contradictions each class has compare to the next class. I've learned something about myself though, apparently my philosophies are on the "radical" side of logical analysis. Still recognized in many ways, but not convincing to many people. It explains a lot of frustration I have with that end of the dichotomy. I can't believe how conservative much of the rhetoric is over on that side of school. While in another class I read about the patriarch and how it is found in our every day actions, I learn about how white privilege greases the wheels for my living with very liberal mindsets, kind of like my own...

Max

perpetual_Dawn — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 04:26:18 GMT

I'm so goddamn tired that I don't want to sleep. I just want to lie here. I want to lie here and think through all the thoughts given to me, giving me lead. I want to sink through the waking reality and let the waves flow. and ebb and flow. I'm tired. I've been working hard. I feel like I'm working at capacity, an accomplished reality and a well used body. tension allowed to dissipate. This weekend I get to be with me, and we've got some serious catching up to do.