i have trouble talking about myself. i have trouble talking in general. i don't know if it's shyness. it's more likely a general apathy and contempt. though sometimes i feel as if i may be a little autistic. but here i can imagine i'm being sociable, and you can pretend that i'm talking to you.

i think words are silly things. laryngeal noises with only tenuous links to objective meaning. but until a postverbal age comes when we'll jack into eachother via subliminal sideband, i'll continue my struggle with these hominid grunts.

i chaff labels like goth, rivet, raver, and burner. i bait tags like cyber-, xeno-, crypto-, neo-, post-, and meta-. i ambiguate, androgynate, and anomalate.

i am a configuration of one hundred billion neurons, hardwired for terminal pseudointellectual pretentiousness, running elliptical algorithms, processing streams of memetic mutation into sophistic singularity, resulting awareness self-indulgent in presumability and self-depreciating in cynicism.

i am the magickal childe of kalaratri and hermes trismegistus, twisting magic hypercubes into lamentable configurations, plumbing setian catacombs to feast remains of strange aeons, dodging eschatons and illuminati, chasing chaos and catastrophe.

i am a spurned unseelie prince pining of some quixotic sublime, a road warrior in drag after some queer apocalypse, an alien glamour hatched from a faberge egg from mars, a charade of a fiction of the imagination of myself.

i am the linguistic construct of my own meaningless gibberish, an unscripted metaprogram in this vestigial reality, an unspoken word spelled in a secret alphabet, a synchronicity wave equation on the edge of non-locality.

i am ana and cata.

i am an unknown figment.

i am a starfish dreaming.

. G E N E R A L

aethyric topology, alien entelechy, amanita buddha, [a]political [r]evolution, androgynous glamours, armchair theory, astral mechanics, baroque psychocosms, being invisible, black science, byzantine plots, chakral nodes, concrescing novelty, contrived cosmologies, covert artistry, creative apathy, critical enlightenment, current i, crypto[blank]ologies, daemonic scriptures, designer angst, desperate pretensions, deviant erotognosis, dream logic, eighth circuit activation, elliptical thinking, epic(urean) decadence, eristic catma, eschatonic timewaves, e[x/n]tropy, eye lines & shadows, feigning idiocy, feigning intellect, fiction science, fortean projection booths, fractal tesseracts, fringe occulture, games of belief making, gematric calculus, grokking slack, guerilla mysticism, hack pulp, hedonic rapture technology, high-order [post/pseudo]intellectualism, hindu shadow dancing, hyperconscious singularity, hypercritical paranoia, iconocaustic argotisms, ideoplasmic reticuli, imaginary words, immanentizing pandaemonaeon, improvised solipsism, ingressions into lunacy, innovative abuse of artistic license, invoking gaian maya, iterative complexity, kaomantic thaumaturgy, keep it realism, kulturjacking, lascivious ambiguity, lateral engineering, lepufology, linguistic ontology, magic(k) hypercubes, malcontented brooding, martian spelunking, meaning in meaninglessness, meaninglessness in meaning, melodrahma, memetic mutation, meta[this & that], meticulously scripted gibberish, misanthropic superhumanism, moorish science, morphogenetic manipulation, mythic resonance, (mytho)poetic (eso)terrorism, neobeat transbohemianism, negative matter fetishes, neuro-linguistic enchantment, non-aristotelian reasoning, non-euclidean geometry, non-newtonian physics, not talking, obnoxious whimsy, odd humours, off-the-cuff sleight of mind, oneirogenic chemognosis, orgonomics, pandimensional synergies, paradigm tunneling, paraidentity, perverse sensuality, plancktechnology, pop existentialism, post-apocalyptic aesthetics, post-cyberpunk technoshamanism, post-hermetic prestilumination, post-surreal grotesquery, pretending to be cool, psychedelic prophets, psychick yoga, quantum alchemy, quixotic romanticism, rebel vanity, recreational dissolution, repetitiv elektronoiz, respirator fashion, revisionist cliology, rogue planets, scrambled egregores, self-depreciating cynicism, self-indulgent presumability, semantic holography, sensory exaltation, serial megaverses, shadow-time travel, sigil bombing, sirius enigmas, spurious flair, stochastic demiurges, strange aeons, subconscious cyphers, [sub]versions of the con, superfluous nonsense, surfing the indranet, sychronicity wave functions, symbolic machines, synaesthetic semiotext, tantric manifolds, tautological sophistry, technical remote scrying, the fancifal qablahblah, the black rock illuminaughty, the kitschgeist, the mauve zone, the tarot of cynocephalus, thirteenth hour intrigues, tragedy theory, transentient psychognosis, trickster gods, ubiquitous grooves, ultraterrestrial migration, umbral reaches, uncomfortable psilences, unscripted metaprogramming, unseelie servitors, ur, vestigual reality, viral [syn]tactics, vulgar karmas, wu wei boxing, zen hacking

. T X T U A L

robert anton wilson, terence mckenna, aleister crowley, peter carroll, hakim bey, joseph campbell, ray kurzweil, douglas hofstadter, douglas rushkoff, grant morrison, alan moore, neil gaiman, h.p. lovecraft, jorge luis borges, william s. burroughs, phillip k. dick, neal stephenson, china mieville, tom robbins

. A U R A L

crunk, glitch hop, breaks, dubstep, techstep, dark psy, tribal house, power noise, IDM, minimal techno, dirty electro, electroclash, darkwave, ethereal, dreampop, shoegaze, postpunk, dark cabaret, neofolk, noise, ambient, indian classical, tibetan chants, bossa nova, tango, top 40

. O P T I C

david best, sinthetex, paul laffoley, luke brown, alex grey, dave mckean, david carson, joel peter witkin, h.r. gieger, hieronymous bosch, salvador dali, m.c. escher, brian froud, alan lee, frank quitely, leif jones, moebius, austin osman spare

. S C E N I C

alejandro jodorowski, jan svankmajer, the brothers quay, larry carlson, jeunet & caro, david lynch, david cronenberg, david fincher, terry gilliam, floria sigismondi, hayao miyazaki, cheech and chong, the wachowskis, sam raimi, wes anderson, richard linklater, quentin tarantino, baz luhrmann, luc besson, spike jonez, michel gondry, peter chung, tim burton, survival research labs