So pleased with ourselves

what the FlickR??

phoenixgoa — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 20:59:39 GMT

so FYI: if you had a pro account on Flickr.com and let it expire your account reverts to a free account... which means if you are forgetful like me and take a little too long to resubscribe: YOU LOSE ALL THE PHOTOS YOU'VE UPLOADED IN THE LAST 2 YEARS!!!! omg... i'm pretty annoyed right now... there were at least 2,000 photos up there!!! wtf? i wish they had explained the urgency of the situation when they sent me the email to pay for my pro account... i don't even think i'm gonna buy another account now, that really pisses me off... geez... seriously... i'm speechless (not typeless obviously, but it takes a lot more to make that happen)

i want a man who... #11

phoenixgoa — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:54:56 GMT

sorry it's been a while... thought i "found a man who..." turns out i was wrong... and i'm a little worried... and here's why: i want a man who can handle his RAVE... it's ok to go all out every once in a while... as responsible as i am, my friends all know i have been prone to excessive raving from time to time... anyone i hang out with is the same way... and, since i am looking for a guy within the scene then i expect no different of him: "everything in moderation - including moderation" ~ Benjamin Franklin it's no secret that i'm an alcoholic... so how dare i look down on anyone else who enjoys their spirits, but there is a limit... and if you haven't found it - or ignore it - you aren't the man for me... there was a time when i did not know my limits (like getting carried out of 1015 like jesus) there was a time when i ignored my limits (like that dark period after february 2007) and this is something i know everyone must go through... at some point in every raver's life we go through both of these periods... well i want a man who has been through this and is done with it... i don't want to have to take care of you at a club... i don't want to be embarrassed to be seen with you, or ashamed of your behavior, or find myself avoiding you most of the night... i don't want to avoid taking you into public because i know you will hit the point of no return... and it would be nice if i didn't have to watch you slowly poison yourself to death (been there, done that, have the scars to prove it, not gonna do it again) again... i would love a man who knows how to let loose on the weekends, days off, occasional birthday party what have you... i love to party/rave too... but if it's a constant struggle between having fun and having me worried about your welfare - then you need a mommy, not a lover... and i will not put up with dating another manchild... get your ducks in a row... even if they are rave ducks... just get them in a row... then come talk to me... till then: sorry, but: "Fuck your rave! let's just be friends"...

CHEETOS!!!!

phoenixgoa — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:59:51 GMT

i love cheetos... can't explain it... and i swear to god every fucking time i see a cheetos comercial on tv i have to restrain myself from grabbing my car keys and jamming to the store to buy some... and usually it ends in me not being able to stop thinking aobut them and going to the store anyway... but... i absolutely hate having stuff on my hands... i'm very finicky about my paws... so when enjoying my favorite snack... it gets a little difficult... i can only eat 2 or 3 before wiping my hands, and i make it through about 2 handfuls before rushing into the kitchen to wash my hands... luckily... i'm a smart little lady... yesterday while lounging i felt the urge for cheetos and decided to snack on them... then i saw my eating utentils left in the bowl from my lunch of udon earlier... "hmmmmm... chopsticks... wait... CHOPSTICKS!!!" that's right y'all... eating cheetos with chopsticks out of the bag... and i'm sure XANH http://www.xanhrestaurant.com/ loves that i chose their restaurant for my little photoshoot... *lol* they have a nice chill happy hour btw...

i want a man who... #10

phoenixgoa — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 05:32:47 GMT

i want a man who has class... and some style would be nice on the side... a man who knows how to tie a tie (or ascot, be that the case... lol) a man who knows anything about grooming... the just rolled out of bed look is sexy, but not when you really "just rolled out of bed babe" a man who knows how to use one of those classic shaving brushes would be a bonus but that's not a necessary thing... i mostly just wanna watch a guy shave with one of these bad boys... i find it ultra sexy... i want a man who has enough of a grasp on personal style to go buy clothes without me holding his hand, and look chic... i'm not talking about boxers and socks... i mean know what good denim should look like, figure out what kind of shirt looks best on you, in what size... and which colors you can pull off... be able to pick out a nice dress shirt and slacks that match... perhaps i'm far too preoccupied with aesthetics... or i have unrealistic standards... or maybe i'd just like to meet a guy who looks better in a fedora than i do: http://a641.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/5/l_efdc1cf4038a651b53f78b6a5b806820.gif ;) that might not happen... i can hear some of you saying already: "phoenix, if you want a gay guy i'm not sure how far that relationship is gonna get" well, no... i know there's a guy out there with impeccable style and utmost class with just the right amount of arrogance and snobbery to pull it off... and he's waiting for a sexy sassy signora like me to come find him!

i want a man who... #9

phoenixgoa — Wed, 28 May 2008 23:04:59 GMT

i want a man who sleeps on the left hand side of the bed... the right side is my side...it's my favorite side... i sleep better on that side... so if you'd like to be my man you need to sleep on the other side of the bed... and don't try to pull the ol' switcharoo after sex either!

i want a man who... #8

phoenixgoa — Wed, 21 May 2008 03:51:35 GMT

i want a man who talks more than me... but also about more interesting things than me... which wouldn't be saying much, but i'm interested in weird things... basically i'm sick of my own obnoxious rhetoric, unfortunately not as sick of it as i am with other people's mindless chit chat if i'm bored in a conversation i'll just start talking over people... super mean i know and i apologize, and i really only do it when i'm drunk... if i'm sober and bored by conversation i just zone out and/or walk away ;) i want a man who can counteract that, but regardless of his and my sobriety level and arrogance level i like hanging on a man's every word... it's sexy... the more intelligent you are the more often i'm going to imagine your clothes falling off...

THANKS for the lovin' Uncle Sam

phoenixgoa — Tue, 13 May 2008 08:05:06 GMT

not only do i find it absolutely HILARIOUS that most american themed things are "Made in China" but i LOVE where the chinese designer of this uncle sam decoration decided to put the air valve... geez it took me like half an hour to blow Uncle Sam... i mean, we all "blow uncle sam" i just never i thought i would be doing it literally aw i should have called this "i want a man who... doesn't make me spend half an hour blowing him"

i want a man who... #7

phoenixgoa — Fri, 09 May 2008 08:06:39 GMT

i want a man who trusts me honestly i can't imagine thinking you love somebody, when you don't trust them? that's how i know for sure if my love is reciprocated, if i trust someone and they trust me back... (sorry this one wasn't funny, i've been thinking that i might actually like to attempt dating again and this is something that's been on my mind)

i want a man who... #6

phoenixgoa — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:01:41 GMT

i want a man who LOVES deftones... at least half as much as i do... i've had 3 boyfriends not want to go to deftones' concerts with me... this is unacceptable... i'm not asking that you get their logo tattooed on you (although i do have a friend who does have one of their album covers tattooed on him) just asking that if you drag me to some band you love, you should be able to handle listenening to my favorite musicians... actually, no, fuck that... if you love me, you should WANT to listen to my favorite musicians... who i am has a lot to do with deftones... i grew up with them, they grew up with me... some things about my personality can be directly attributed to listening to their music... so if you don't like them, i can automatically see that there are going to be problems later down the road...

most entertaining interview ever...

phoenixgoa — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:42:56 GMT

i had an interview at Red Rock today: http://www.redrockcoffee.org/index.php so i have a sinus infection or bronchitis or a cold or something... stupid me decided to take some sudafed... i thought it would be better to be a little groggy than to be sniffling and coughing around food and beverages... oh boy i was a total space cadet i explained to my interviewer that i had taken some medicine and was pretty out of it... luckily i am on very friendly terms with one of the workers there already and he vouched for me that "phoenix is usually a pretty quick cat" i wasn't completely shocked when he tasted the latte i made and said "you're hired" but i wouldn't have been surprised if he thought i was some sort of looney cookoo bird and didn't hire me... we agreed that it had been the most interesting interview either of us had taken part in... i start training tomorrow and vowed that i wouldn't take medicine before i came in again... since i'm kind of sick i'll only be doing register and cleaning this week, but after that come on by and i'll make you a super fabulous drink ;)

pictures from the past

phoenixgoa — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 23:46:13 GMT

friday is matt's 28th birthday... i've been very sad lately, and a little angry... i should be out shopping for a present, not sitting around my house crying... anyway, some very odd things have been happening to me the last couple days... besides dreaming about him almost every night... i found this disk... it was hidden behind a mubali disk of mine, i found it when i was backing up my itunes... it had matt's writing on it "c o 6" or "e o 6" or "e o G" anyone familiar with his writing knows how hard it is to read... so i put the disk in and it's all his pictures from europe... most of which i've never even seen... happy tears? happy tears? i'm not used to that... well i put all the photos that have him in them up on my flickr here's the link: http://www.flickr.com/gp/8704478@N06/900a73 i thought i would never see them again... i'm so relieved...

i want a man who... #5

phoenixgoa — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:19:42 GMT

i want a man who is not a Muse fan... yunno the rock band Muse or "the saviors of rock and roll" as i like to call them well the last 3 Muse fans i've dated have kinda broken my heart... so, no more of that! Interpol, Modest Mouse and Deftones fans are still welcome to apply

Japanese Translation Please

phoenixgoa — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 17:20:35 GMT

So my housemate is a very adventurous eater... sometimes to the point of ridiculousness... but everyone needs a vice right? he often enjoys going to asian markets and finding the most outrageous thing possible... sometimes it's kinda gross, to each him own but "American Burger Flavor" potato chips isn't something the world is ready for... so one evening my housemate and his friends bring home this interesting box... enter the infamous and mysterious and slightly debated: Rice Cakes http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3215/2355201186_fe01e4fd11_o.jpg um... one is missing because they tried to eat it... it was more like wax than rice and one person even had a theory that it was actually a candle... but it obviously smells like rice and according to the back of the box it is edible... but the cute little plastic orange, only edible to my cat who ran off with it at her earliest oportunity... I think they are meant to be shrine offerings rice cakes and oranges are a common thing to leave for your ancestors in buddhism (i guess you crave pure substance and citrus when you die, right on) and it came with nifty gold backdrop which also points me in the direction of decoration purposes can anyone help me by telling WTF the box says?? FRONT http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3037/2355200394_877aed653b_o.jpg BACK http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2249/2355199636_bcd530daf5_b.jpg INSIDE http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3185/2354371169_a385121003_o.jpg

i want a man who... #4

phoenixgoa — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 11:14:02 GMT

I want a man who understands house music... not that i'm not open to many different types of music... i enjoy everything from metal, ska and Indie rock to IDM, acid jazz, and electro i just can't see myself with another man who doesn't LOVE house... it's a big part of my life... i'm in the scene and i don't plan on ever jumping out of this scene... especially now that the SF house scene has 60% less snob (your welcome breaks scene, you can keep that by the way *lol*) house music moves me... makes me happy when i'm sad... tells me to get up and dance when i'm feeling tired or shy... encourages me to shake hands with the people bumping into me on the dance floor... urges me to put on headphones and waste an entire sunday listening to records with a nice bottle of sauvignon blanc... anyway... my next man needs to embrace house at least half as much as i do... i can't feel guilty ever again for my love of this genre & scene...

amazon.com

phoenixgoa — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 02:31:08 GMT

first off: did any of you understand the concept of the amazon.com logo the first time you saw it? the second time? the third time? i think it took me the 100th time ok, for years i've thought to myself: "why is their logo smiling... an A makes an eye, but an M doesn't! why didn't they use both of the A's that's just stupid" turns out I'M just stupid it's not a smile, it's an arrow pointing from a to z "From A to Z" as in they have everything... gosh i'm really dumb sometimes...

interview!

phoenixgoa — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:13:45 GMT

OMG! i have an interview at UCSF today! i'm dancing on clouds!

i want a man who... #3

phoenixgoa — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 00:23:07 GMT

i want a man who makes the world stop when our eyes meet across a crowded room... everything turns to slow motion and a sublime amnesia sets in... it's such a magical feeling... movie magic... i hadn't felt it in so long... and i finally felt it again... last night... i only wish i knew if he felt the same thing... there was definitely a lingering in his gaze both times... i guess i'll just have to hope on stumbling upon those amazing eyes again...

vacation

phoenixgoa — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 06:21:11 GMT

so as many of you know... the 18th was the anniversary of Matt Jakes' suicide... when i went to Fresno this past weekend i must have broke into tears i don't know how many times... before Saturday even... after a little car trouble we realized we would miss kyle's party... so my dear friends down there suggested to me that i just stay until the storm of emotion passed... my apologies to anyone who was offended, as somebody pointed out, perhaps my voice mail gave the wrong impression "*giggling* hey it's phoenix i'm on vacation until tuesday leave me a message i'll be checking them" maybe it sounded rude and like i was unaware of what the day was... or worse, didn't care what the day was... oh well, i just wanted everyone to not worry about me... i was hoping to convey a feeling of "i'm ok, and i'm going to continue to be ok" and i was ok... yes we all did a fair amount of drinking... but i also had time to reflect clear headed and plenty of time to walk alone in an orchard... and time playing video games and cards games with adults and kids... and all of it was very therapeutic... i even accomplished something i wasn't expecting, i re-bonded a damaged friendship... and took it to an entirely new and exciting level... i was mourning the loss of one of the closest people in my life... i let Matt into my soul further than i had ever let anyone... him killing himself left me with a feeling of betrayal... he had said "i will never give up on you" which had given me a feeling of comfort, like maybe he really did love me... but 30 minutes later he decided to give up on me, give up on himself, give up on everybody and just hang himself... ever since then i haven't been able to let people in... it's one thing when somebody betrays you... but when it's the person who held the hugest part of your essence, it causes almost unrepairable damage... so now as i still feel like my hurt in unbearable at times... as i still have the looming shadow of love lost & life lost... as i still get crushed by the tragedy of it all... at least there is a glimmer of hope... a chance that i may be able to love again, and live again... and we were even shown that hope in tangible form that morning... (above picture from the orchards) that line ran through the entire sky and it looked like a line of pure hot electricity... we just assumed it was our boys giving us a sign that they miss us and are watching over us... perhaps literally...

i want a man who... #2

phoenixgoa — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 08:51:11 GMT

i want a man who doesn't try to kiss me in a club after knowing me for 3 minutes... i'd rather have you buy me a drink, not try to kiss me... and call me a few days later and ask me out to dinner... that is much more preferred... besides randomly making out with people in bars is quite tacky...

"i want a man who..." #1

phoenixgoa — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 17:53:27 GMT

i want a man who: can tastefully pull off wearing an ascot without looking gay or looking like a tool above is an instructional diagram below is how you wear it in relation to your shirt http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/files/2006/08/ascot6.jpg and here's a places to purchase ascots http://www.forzieri.com/usa/deptd.asp?l=usa&c=usa&dept_id=7 once you have the tools and the technique down please feel free to call upon me and request my company for an evening... ;) in general i do feel it is time for the ascot to come back into style... especially since fred from scooby doo ruined it's image back in the day wrong way to wear an ascot! http://www.theoriginof.com/images/scooby_doo/scooby_doo.jpg that's how you wear a scarf under a jacket by the way guys... trust me it looks good ;) you'll have the ladies all up ons...

VOTE VOTE VOTE

phoenixgoa — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:38:29 GMT

don't forget to go out and vote!!! my suggestions: NO on EVERY Prop... they are all bad... i <3 Obama... (every though i'm very libertarian) http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=30025791&blogID=354905023&Mytoken=3B976C6D-D07F-4BE3-A1E2C7DE044DD96780086284 Good Links for the confused Democrat or Independant in the comments of lorin's blog he posted some great links that were forwarded to him :) so don't forget to get out there and make your voice matter... every vote counts!

go ahead start rueing

phoenixgoa — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 04:47:50 GMT

my newest piece of advice: when in doubt about what to wear to a social function, "dress like the person who broke your heart is going to be there..." i am a callous and bitter person... but i've heard that will make me live longer so i guess i'll keep it up... p.s. he wasn't there... oh what a waste of my precious malevolence...

house to myself and all i wanna do is play tinygrow?

phoenixgoa — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 08:19:37 GMT

yeah, i'm bored... house to myself ALL weekend... and what have i been doing? playing tinygrow (in my defense, it is super addictive) here: http://www.box7box.com/tinygrow.html get hooked on it too been playing hobowars and dopewars on facebook... been doing laundry... watched 3 harry potter movies... have the classic sinbad trilogy i bought for somebody for christmas... but since we aren't speaking maybe i'll just keep it and watch it by myself... or rave in the kitchen... http://www.dirtybirdrecords.com/audio/mixes/Worthy_HotOvenHand.mp3 download that & you can rave in your kitchen too!

what are you having for dinner?

phoenixgoa — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 06:00:11 GMT

i know i know kinda old... we've all seen it... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gg590RzMenk but i fucking LOVE it! can't get enough sometimes... was just listening to the album today and realized i hadn't seen the video since it's premier at shine a year or so ago...

go vote for my lol cats

phoenixgoa — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 13:46:47 GMT

that's right, i made some lol cats... when can't sleep a lol cat is fine too... anyway there's this one: http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/View.aspx?needzpraktiss128439275449481250.jpg and http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/View.aspx?thinkstookwron128439260364481250.jpg :)