Random Ramblings

I GOT A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! (3rd and final part)

PlayaDragonfly — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 22:50:51 GMT

Since Labor Day we've seen each other almost every day, even if it was just to have a meal together. We've spent the night at each other's apartment, and are meeting each other's friends. That first Wednesday we decided to call ourselves "boyfriends" and I was going to spend the night with him when I got off work. I drove over to his apartment, found street parking, and went to his building's main door. I called him, but he didn't answer. I left a message saying I was there, and I figured he was asleep and that I would see him the next day. We had lunch on Thursday at this pizzaria near Ashley Page (the company he's doing some design work for). He told me that he was really upset that he didn't hear his phone ring. I explained to him that it wasn't a big deal, and these things happen. Later on after he was off work and before I started work (I was bartending for Matt, who was on tour with his band) he gave me a gift - a set of keys to his apartment! He said he didn't want his falling asleep to come between us sleeping together again. Well, you KNOW where I slept that night! (You can check him out by clicking on "Harwood" in my list of friends.)

I GOT A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! (pt 2)

PlayaDragonfly — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 06:59:20 GMT

After our wonderful candle-lit dinner at Fred 62, he asked if I wanted to soak in a hot tub. I LOVE hot tubs! So of course, I said yes. He has a friend with a house in the Silverlake hills with a pool and hot tub. His friend is out of town, but doesn't mind if his freinds come over to relax a while. We get there and Harwood can't find his gate key. I thought we'd have to do it another time, but he climbed over the gate and let me in. We walked down the stairs to the back yard and the pool/hot tub area. The view was fantastic! So we stripped naked and hung out in the hot tub, then the pool, and back into the hot tub - all the while making out under the stars. We decided to do something together the next day (Labor Day) and he suggested something out in nature. I have friends in Altadena who own a property up in the mountains near Santa Barbara. I told Harwood about it and he liked the idea, so we made a plan for me to pick him up the next morning and we'd go hiking. The property they own contain the "Knapp's Castle ruins" (do a Google search) and it was just spectacular. Last Summer they invited me to go up there whenever I wanted, but I hadn't found the right time or person to go with. Until now. We had a great afternoon being naked and exploring the ruins and taking pictures. At first it was just us being casually naked. Then it started getting "frisky" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). The night before we just made out (Harwood's an INCREDIBLE kisser!) but we wound up having full-blown (no pun intended) sex outdoors in this beautiful setting. We had the place to ourselves the entire afternoon. Well, almost. We had just finished our "activities" and had gotten dressed and were packing our gear up to hike back to my truck when a group of other people showed up. If they had been just 3 minutes earlier they would have gotten quite a show! We hadn't planned to have sex, it just happened. That was part of what made it so wonderful. We got back to LA (took FOREVER to get through stop-n-go traffic in SB), took a quick nap at his place (naked again), and had dinner at a Thai restaurant down the street from his apartment. So within 24 hours we had met, had 2 dates, and been naked with each other 3 times in different locations. How great is that???? More to come!

I GOT A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

PlayaDragonfly — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 08:09:53 GMT

This is a long story, so I'll probably chop it up into segments and write just a little at a time, till I'm caught up. Last Sunday (Sept 2, 2007) I was at work instead of at Burning Man as I had planned all year for. I was especially looking forward to going this year since I couldn't go last year due to filming of Pirates 3. The Sunday prior (August 26) I injured a finger on an antique fan blade at a co-worker's house. The fan was on and doesn't have any finger guards. I went to move it and my finger was sliced open. (right hand ring finger) After over an hour of trying to get the bleeding to stop (pressure, ice, elevated above my heart, etc) there didn't seem to be any stopping the blood. We went to the ER at Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital and I wound up getting 2 stitches put in. I was prescribed an oral anti-biotic and Vicodin (YAY!). The next day I went to my own clinic and had the nurse there take a look at it. He gave me some gauze pads and triple antibiotic ointment and told me to keep it dry and clean and to come back on Friday to have a look at how well it was healing. Needless to say I knew my plans for BM 2007 were over. So I talked to my boss to see if I could pick up any shifts at the bar I work at (Faultline). I knew I wouldn't be able to put any sort of pressure on it, so I would not be able to do an opening set-up shift. So I went in at 3pm and worked till 10. Normally I'm done and out of the bar at 8pm. That night I met Harwood. If I had been at BM we would not have met. If I had an earlier shift we would not have met. And I have Chris' evil Fan o' Death to thank for it! We made out in the patio by the firepit for several long minutes. He asked if I wanted to go somewhere and I asked if he was hungry. We decided to meet at Fred 62 (www.Fred62.com). It's a great 24-hour diner popular with the alternative crowd. As I was driving up Vermont Ave I noticed that the street lights were out. Then I noticed that most of the businesses were dark. I got to the restaurant and before I parked I noticed that even though the lights were out, people still seemed to be eating. They were still serving most items on teh menu since they have gas stoves. (Things like waffles and such that use electric appliances were unavailable.) So we ate by candlelight for our first meal! Tomorrow I plan to write more about our first "date" and the things that've happened over the past week.

About the Premature Burning of The Man

PlayaDragonfly — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 07:29:03 GMT

The following is an excerpt from an email I sent to one of my Burning Man themecamp lists: It was hard for me to (yet again) miss BM this year. Many of you who know me from 2 years ago have probably heard that I suffered an injury Sunday night before leaving for the Playa on Tuesday. I sliced open a finger and wound up going to the ER and getting stitches to close it up. There was simply NO WAY I could have insured that it would have been kept clean and free of Playa dust and allowed to heal. However, the Universe does things for a reason, though they may not be clear at the moment. Because I did not go to the Playa as planned, I wound up working Labor day Sunday. Because of the injury I was on a later shift than I normally work. Because I was in town, at work, and on a later shift, I met the most wonderful man! In less than a week, we have become BOYFRIENDS! He's also a Burner who was unable to go this year. We're already making plans for next years event. My point is that Things Happen For A Reason. They may not be clear now, and they may never be clear to many who were there. But the Universe sought to have the Man burned prematurely for a Reason. It may be as simple as starting a dialogue about what BM is REALLY all about. Is it REALLY about The Man burning? Or is it about the community and new friends and family we all make while there? Is it about the Art or the all-night dance parties? Is it about the drugs and sex or is it a catalyst for the personal growth we experience? Is it a week-long circuit party or a modern-day "rite of passage" where our self-reliance and inner strength are tested? Is it all of these things and more? (Perhaps 2 people who volunteered to rebuild the Man met for the first time and will fall in love or form a life-long friendship that otherwise would not have happened.) If there were no Man to be burned on Saturday night, would the experience be less special? Personally the 2 years I've been (2004, 2005) the burning of The Man was an awesome spectacle, but the Temple Burn was the real high-light for me. And even if there were no Temple to be burned, the time I spent meeting new people, having new experiences, and leaving the default world behind was priceless. I would not have traded them for anything.

America, United Stattes of (b. 7/4/1776, d. 9/28/2006)

PlayaDragonfly — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 07:41:31 GMT

New York Times Obituaries page A-22 by mikey666 Thu Sep 28, 2006 at 12:46:39 PM PDT America, United States of (b.July 4, 1776, d. September 28th, 2006) An historic moment came yesterday when the world's oldest democracy, it's greatest and youngest nation quietly passed away in her sleep. "The world is a darker place." lamented several saddened and tearful citizens. "I have known America my entire life, she knew my parents and my parent's parents and I am speechless with grief. We did all we could. I can't believe she is gone." America passed away yesterday after a long fight with cancer; cancer of the congress specifically. Her ten year battle for survival endured two presidencies and several false remissons. She nearly capitulated her struggle in 1998 during the Clinton Impeachment hearings, but somehow she managed to push through. "She lasted 230 years. She was a tough old broad, but history shows us that no gets out of this world alive not even the most vibrant, inspiring and hopeful democracy the world has ever seen", wept a Democratic senator. Born in 1776 to a cadre of European revolutionaries who raised her to be different from any nation the world had ever seen, America was fortunate to be the daughter of many brilliant and attentive fathers. They shaped her (unwittingly or no) to be a beacon of hope to the world's citizens depite their own subjugation in depotic regimes. She welcomed those who were opressed, rejected or ignored by their own countries and offered them a chance at a new life. And, for this reason, she grew quickly and grew strong. So strong that at the tender age of 85, she survived a breath-taking attempt on her life with the help of her friend and protector, President Abraham Lincoln. Once a fragile and insecure nation, she grew to be the true leader of the world, serving as a bellweather for new democracies that began to spring up around the globe. "She led by example." said former president Bill Clinton. "The world felt safer just knowing she was there. Even if they were poor, vulnerable and a stricken populus, other nations knew that help could be asked of her and more often than not, she gave and gave much. She offered money, medical supplies, food to starving populations, protection and did so with no expectation of reimbursement." Her greatest and most historic moment for which she is best remembered was, ironically, her amazing and improbable victory over the forces of fascism in Europe in the 1940's. The same type of fascism that eventually took her own life, she smashed for the good of the entire world and showed them them a better way. Never a wall-flower and always controversial, America did her best, but admittedly had some notable and egregious lapses; Rwanda, Darfur, East Timor and many others, yet her mystique and unfailing optimism again and again perplexed, befuddled and eventually won over a war-weary world who felt the flicker of hope in their own lives take hold because of Amerca's resilience. Recently, even though she refused to be slowed down, coddled or pitied, her illness had clearly taken it's toll; she had one of her basic insitutions, fair voting, removed during a painful operation six years ago in 2000 that people close to her said she had never truly fully recovered from although she maintained a brave face. She also had her fourth estate amputated under mysterious and controversial circumcstances. Through it all, however, her hope remained as did her citizens; "She had endured so much, survived so many trials that no ever really thought she could ever really die. But looking back that was foolish, complacence and naivete." said a constitutional scholar. As is the way of life confronting death, America fought to the end. Ironically, her optimism, grace, generosity and faith that helped her live so long were betrayed by her congressional cancer and even as she gave ground again and again the cancer eventually spread into her heart of hearts; spread into an area no doctor ever thought the cancer could spread to -- eventually did; her foundation, her soul, her greatest asset as well as her sometimes most frustrating trait; the heart that pumped her blood, the congressional cancer carved habeas corpus right out of her broad and warm bosom. Without habeas corpus, America's heart slowly subsided and faded until no heartbeat could be detected. And she lie there still and peaceful. Gone. And so on the afternoon of September 28th, 2006, America, like so many great and admirable entities in history, passed into and became a part of history. She went gently into her goodnight. Many of her citizens did not even know that she was ill, never mind that she had passed. Upon seeing the deep sadness and fear from some of their fellow citizens who DID know and cherish her, many of these reacted with shrugging disdain at the "over-reaction", thinking that they had known her too, but in reality had, in foolish complacence and naivete took her for granted--even in death refusing to admit to themselves she was gone. As my father would most likely say if he were alive today, who fought side by side with her in World War II, who passed away days before her mortal wound inflicted on September 11th, 2001; The wound that metastisized her congressional cancer, "She will be deeply missed and her absence will most certainly be felt for generations to come." Rest in Peace

The Man

PlayaDragonfly — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 04:11:38 GMT

The Man burned yesterday. And though I was sad that I was not able to be there, I WAS able to see him burn. Live on TV! The "Current" network showed the burn live and in full color. And since I have a large screen TV, it was sorta like being there. Just less dusty! And my roommate and Clay were able to see it, too and I got to explain some stuff to them. Guy was not sure how he felt about it being broadcast like that. Like it's something sacred and reserved only for those in attendance. And I totally see his point. Still, I'm glad I got to see it. It made me feel like I was a part of it afterall. Also the video blogs that were on the BM site helped me to experience some of the flavor of this year's life in BRC. So now all I can do is wait till tickets go on sale again and hope I can go next year.

Ticket to The Future

PlayaDragonfly — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 04:09:53 GMT

I sold my BM ticket Thursday night. A very nice girl named Caroline bought it. It was actually kinda late and I didn't know if it was gonna sell or not. In fact, she's the ONLY person who contacted me, so it was clearly meant for her. She had originally planned to go with a friend of her's from SF, but he cancelled since he had to work. At the last minute (Thursday I guess) he was able to get the time off, which was way too late to try to buy a ticket online or even at the gate. So she bought mine. I hope she had a great time! In fact, I'm fairly confident that she did. And since I couldn't go, it's nice that someone was able to participate who wouldn't have otherwise.

HOMEsick

PlayaDragonfly — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 04:34:32 GMT

I'm supposed to be in my HOMEtown this week. Black Rock City, NV. Instead, I'm working. But as far as jobs go, if I had to miss BM because of work, I'm glad it's this movie. A year ago tonight (that is, Wednesday night of BM) I wandered the playa and found myself on the pirate ship La Contessa asail on the Playa Sea. I had no idea that a year later I'd be sailing on the Black Pearl out in the Pacific Ocean (well, the South Bay, anyway!). So, that's a nice parallel. And I can't help but smile. Bittersweet as it is. Tonight (just a few minutes ago, actually) I put my ticket up for sale on the LA Burner's tribe. I'm selling it for exactly what I paid for it - no more and no less. Burning Man will be there next year. It's just that I've been eagerly anticipating my yearly visit all year long, and it's a bit of a let-down that I'm not able to go.

August 29

PlayaDragonfly — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 03:47:28 GMT

Well, my day started out hectic as hell! As usual (of late) my alarm clock was set to go off at 3 am. And it did. I just didn't wake up until 4:22! So I hurridly threw clothes on, gathered my shit, stopped at 7-11 for coffee and cigs and hit the freeway. I was about 10 minutes late, but it was OK because they hadn't started signing us in yet. My make-up artist today (each day has been a different artist each for both hair and makeup - we're not assigned any one person) is named Kenny Myers and he's the award-winning makeup artist who manufactures the different makeup palettes most professionals use (Skin Illustrator Makeup). It was a real treat to talk to him and he actually took longer doing my makeup because he was enjoying the conversation and so took his time and was meticulous. Other than that, it was a pretty routine day. I got to watch the monkey some more and OH, I was killed! Actually, I will be simultaneously alive and celebrating and dead at the same time. And I'm also alive in later scenes that were filmed yesterday. We had a REALLY long lunch (about 3 hours) and after we arrived back on the BP (we were shuttled to another boat for lunch) those of us who wound up dead at one point or another during the morning were released for the rest of the day. And there were EVEN MORE PEOPLE waiting for us to get back than were there yesterday! Fortunately, they didn't seem interested in those few of us who were wrapped early, so it took no time to get out of the parking lot. Of course, that was almost 5:00, so the freeway traffic was slow. I figured it would be bumper to bumper, but it travel fairly smooth for the majority of the trip home. Oh, and I found out I'm working every day this week. Which means that unfortunately I will NOT be going HOME to BRC this year. Now I just need to find my ticket and see if I can sell it to someone here on Tribe. And while listening to Danceteria v 46/47: Temo e Spero (DiscoPup's 4 hour BM mix for this year) on my iPod during lunch, one of the dance mixes from the PotC: DMC soundtrack came up. How fitting to be listening to music assembled by one of my AP brothers while he's in BRC, and I was working as a Pirate instead of being there myself. Ahhhhh, memories! Anyway, tomorrow is a 4 am call, so that means waking up at 2, so I'm headed to bed soon.

Catch Up Post 3 of 3: Monday, 8/28

PlayaDragonfly — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 03:16:33 GMT

Back on the BP in Redondo Beach. Today, Johnny, Kiera, and Jeffrey were on set. But the COOLEST thing was seeing the monkey up close! The break area for the animals (Mr. Cotton's Parrot was there too) was in the back of the ship on the poop deck. I was already back there resting when they came up. The animals don't really have any contact with anyone other than their trainers (3 of them) and the actors to which they interact. But I was able to talk to the trainers about them and everything. The monkey was sooo cute! And she chirps! Like a bird twirping. Made me think briefly about having one like it some day. Or maybe not. But, perhaps I'll try being an animal trainer and get to train capuchin monkeys. They have very expressive faces and are REALLY smart! After we got back to base camp, there were a TON of people there. Somehow word got out that we had set up base camp in the marina parking lot. There were a handful Friday morning and afternoon, and a few this morning. But tonight - WOW! Throngs of people. All clambering to see someone famous. (Little did they know that the main actors were driven to and from the docks to prevent gawking.) Anyway, they all had out their cameras and were snaping photos of us as we came back. And even AFTER we were done getting out of wardrobe and hair & makeup, they wanted our pictures. AND AUTOGRAPHS! Oh. My. GOD! I got a taste of celebrity tonight, and I thought it was rather silly. I'm no better or worse than all of them. I just happen to have a job that makes people go crazy over. By the time we got done, the crowd had started to dispurse and the traffic trying to get OUT of the parking lot was backed up. It took me about 45 minutes to get out onto the street. And now I get to sleep and do it ALL over again!

Catch Up Post 2 of 3: August 26

PlayaDragonfly — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 02:41:24 GMT

Check out my new wheels! I've been trying for several weeks to buy an '06 Element EX (Atomic Blue Metallic) and I FINALLY did it! This is my very first brand new car. And I'm 36 years old. Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!!!!! It's gonna cost be about $100 more each moth than I was paying for the PT, but I think it'll be worth it. I just hope I'm able to work enough that I don't miss any payments. I've built up my credit rating over the past year, and I don't want it to decrease. Incidentally, my credit score is 665 - 1 # short of HELL!

Catch Up Post 1 of 3: Friday Aug 25

PlayaDragonfly — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 02:33:46 GMT

Ok, I've got several days' worth of postings to catch up with, so here goes: EARLY day on the set! 5 am. Oy Vey! We were out in the Black Pearl a couple of miles from Redondo Beach, which is where our base station was set up. We shot a scene that takes place shortly after a major battle. And the cool part was that the camera was IN THE AIR! Attached to the front of a helicopter was a bubble that housed the camera. It circled overhead watching us running around and preparing for another fight. Most of the principals (main actors) weren't there, but during our lunch Orlando Bloom was seated about 5 or 6 seats down from me.

P3 - 8/21

PlayaDragonfly — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 06:59:03 GMT

First day of filming (for me anyway). I had to be down in San Pedro by 5 o'fucking clock - A M ! Which meant I wok eup at 3:30. But, I got to spend the morning and the first part of my day in the Harbor on a Pirate ship. And, probably the fuckin COOLEST Pirate ship in existence. And with a family of sealions lounging on a bouy and barking every once in a while. Considering the vast number of people working on the movie, we all got through wardrobe, hair, and makeup in a relative quick time. Of course there were probably 20 or so make-up artists making us all look dirty and with bad teeth, and an equal number of hairdressers attaching wigs and stuff. I couldn't find a full-length mirror anywhere, but I got a look at myself while sitting in the makeup and hair chairs - I looked good! Well, "good" may not be the word. It's quite possible my friends won't recognize me. Really, the only give-away is my beard. You've heard the term, "Organized Chaos"? That doesn't even come CLOSE! On the Black Pearl today, there were probably 50-60 or so New World and Asian Pirates total. Maybe more. Plus AT LEAST 30 crew people. PLUS the photo doubles for Keira Knightly, Orlando BLoom (whom I saw at lunch sitting a few chairs down from me), and Geoffrey Rush, AND the members of Jack's crew - Gibbs, Pintell, Ragetti, Cotton, and Marty. So there were almost 100 people on board. Considering all the people getting in everyone esle's way, I'd say it ran fairly smoothly. The stuff we shot today were "pick up" scenes. Close-ups of action or reactions or whatever of scenes shot in the Bahamas last year. I actually got some camera time today, but who knows if I'll be visible. Look for me on Captain Barbossa's left side reacting to something incredible happening. (I don't want to spoil it for ya!) Many of the guys today never even got in front of the camera. They wrapped us right after lunch, which seemed REALLY odd to me. I think they had planned to do some other stuff, but had to postpone or cancel for whatever reason. If they had planned all along to let us go, they probably would not have fed us, so I think something unexpected happened. Ok, it's late. I've tried to make some sense of this post and tried to put it in some kind of order, but I'm not sure I succeeded. But what the fuck. The name of my blog is Random Ramblings, which is EXACTLY what yer getting! It's nearly midnight and I've been awake since 3:30 this morning - let's see how coherent YOU are after being awake and active that long! There are a surprising number of actors working as Pirates who previously worked together as Cowboys on Deadwood. Must be the long hair and beards! So here's a question I'd like you to answer. Yes you. You who are reading this blog instead of working or somehow making yourself useful or getting something accomplished. Which would you rather be - a Pirate (traditional or contemporary) or a Cowboy (again, traditional or contemporary)?

P3 Update - 8/15/6

PlayaDragonfly — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 19:47:57 GMT

Yesterday was AMAZING!!!!!!!! Around 8:00 am I found myself on the main deck of the Black Pearl, the Pirate ship captained by Jack Sparrow. (Sorry, photos aren't allowed, otheriwse I'd have posted my own photo above.) Right now it's docked in San Pedro. We spent much of the morning learning how to load and fire the cannons, and the duties of the members of the cannon crew. Then, we learned the proper way to hold, aim, and fire flintlock pistols. And after lunch, we learned maritime terminology as it relates to the ship and then about the massive rope rigging. We even made ready the ropes from the pin line and did some haul away and slack away exercises. FUN!!!!!!! And if you are reading this and have absolutely no idea what I'm writing about, I kindly refer you to my earlier posts.

It's Official

PlayaDragonfly — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 18:18:42 GMT

I'm now Middle-Aged. Life expectancy for an American male is 72 years, and I am now (as of Monday) at the half-way point. So, I'm middle-aged. I guess it's time to go through my mid-life crisis now.

"PotC3" Wardrobe Fitting

PlayaDragonfly — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 06:41:35 GMT

Well, I had my wardrobe fitting for "Pirates 3" this morning. I had to be there at 9, so I set my alarm clock for 7:30. I shouldn't have bothered setting the alarm - I wok up on my own about a quarter till 7. Actually, I didn't sleep very well last night - kept tossing and turning - just couldn't get comfortable. Anyway, my friend Jimmy Jay who is working in the wardrobe department on P3 (and worked on P2 as well) was the one to get me outfitted. Let me just say, I hope to GOD that wherever we're working has air conditioning!!! There's layer upon layer upon layer of wardrobe, and it's gonna get HOT! I actually started out wearing a jacket, but the main wardrobe designer nixed it, and that's probably a good thing. I was sad to lose it, but I'll probably be more comfortable without it. I was also issued my sword, gun, and shoulder bag, and then sent to the ladies in the hair and makeup room. The wig I'll be wearing isn't very long, and it's straight - no dreadlocks or anything. But still, looking at myself in the mirror while I was being fitted for it, I have to say I looked GOOD! I mentioned in an earlier post that I was gonna be a French pirate. Well, I'm not so sure that's still the case. The director, Gore Verbinski, apparently wants actual French guys who speak the language fluently to be the French pirates. So right now, I've been classified (as far as wardrobe, props, and hair goes) as a "Non-Descript World Pirate". And I got paid for it. Not bad for a few hours worth of my time. And since they've gone through the trouble of outfitting me and everything, I now KNOW I'll be working on the film. Up until now, I didn't want to get my hopes up. And there's still a chance that for whatever reason I may still not work on it, but I'd say my chances are 95%. You never know what'll happen between now and then. And speaking of "then" I have no idea when I'll be working. Jimmy said he thinks there's a small group of pirates working around the 21st of this month, and the rest not until September. Of course, even if that is true today, it could change before I wake up tomorrow. That's just the nature of this business - "Hurry up and wait". So it looks like my chances of going to Burning Man agian this year are pretty good, if i can afford it. In other words, P3 probably won't get in the way. But if it does, the movie has to take priority over BM. As much as I thoroughly enjoy my annual retreat into the desert, work has to come first. Speaking of work, I'm STILL looking for a job that'll keep me busy when I'm not acting, and allow me the time off to be on set when needed. So if any of you artsy/alternate types know anyone who's hiring, let me know! I've pretty much exhausted all the resources I have. Thanks! And I'll keep you posted.

Aug 2, 2006

PlayaDragonfly — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 05:03:37 GMT

Let us worship the power The power which moves the universe For behold the lords of light Have set their stars upon the heavens The earth spins and the moon holds her course Let us walk proudly and hold our heads high For the sky is our father and the earth our mother And we are the children of the gods

Death Poem

PlayaDragonfly — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 20:03:08 GMT

Anyone who's ever been born, Knows what it's like to die. The darkness unfurling, The curiosity pressing you on. One world, waiting. Another left bleeding behind. ~Clive Barker, 25th August 2001~

This Just In

PlayaDragonfly — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 01:06:20 GMT

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A Pirate's Life For MEEEEEE !!!!!!!!! I've been cast as a French pirate in the next "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, due to hit theatres next May. It's WONDERFUL news, but I still need other employment. I have no idea how much work I'm gonna get on the film. It could be just 1 day, or it could be several weeks. I'll find out more info hopefully later this week.

Jobless and Confused

PlayaDragonfly — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 00:50:42 GMT

"Here I am!!"* I've not posted in quite a long time, so I guess my "Random Ramblings" title is appropriate. (*Bonus points awarded to whomever can identify the quote. Hint - 70's comedy about a folk hero.) I found myself unexpectedly unemployed at the beginning of the month. I started out being all Zen about it (having recently seen "What The Bleep Do We Know?") but since then I've grown more and more depressed. There are lots of jobs available I'm sure and yes I check out the jobs listings on Craigslist. My problem is that I feel that I'm not qualified to do the vast majority of them. And the ones I think I may be qualified for, probably won't pay didly squat. I'm college educated - I have a Bachelors of Fine Arts in Theatre, emphasizing on acting. Quite possibly THE MOST USELESS degree on the face of the planet. (But that's a blog of a different color.) Almost all of my non-acting/performance jobs I've had were customer-service related, in one way or another. Pizza delivery. Fast Food cashier. Retail store management. Theme park attraction host. Waiter. Retail sales associate. And most recently, Bartender. And sprinkled amongst them all has been acting, but that never paid the bills. Now I find myself in my mid-30's, with a need and desire to start earning money to go toward my retirement. I don't want to have to work until the day I die, which is where I'm currently headed. I'm a fun and creative person, but I don't know how to put that on a resume! I don't have any sort of computer programming skills or other similar skills required to do any sort of office work. Besides, I don't think I'd be happy working behind a desk. I'm not an "in-the-box" kinda guy. I LOVE to perform, and am really comfortable on stage or in front of a camera. I just want to act and be able to make a decent living. I don't have a desire to be a huge Hollywood mega-star. I value my privace and my ability to go where I want when I want and be seen with who I want. I'd be perfectly happy joining Kathy Griffin on the D-list. D-listers don't have to worry so much about their "reputation" and can be seen out in public sucking faces with their gay male lovers. As long as I can live comfortably, have some nice things, and be able to travel some, I'd be happy. But until I get my "Big Break", I want to do something artistic in order to pay bills. So I'm thinking about becoming a make-up artist. Unfortunately, it'll take at least a year of schooling, and I still need some sort of income to pay bills, etc. Yes, I've considered doing porn, but I'm just not quite ready to go down that slope. So if there are any creative/artistic "burner-type" businesses that are looking for more creative/artistic "burner-type" employees, PLEASE let me know!

Pete Kuzak

Dop — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 17:19:51 GMT

Will I ever find love? Am I destined to be alone for the rest of my life? Will I have to make do with my friends and my cat? Are the "Religious Right" correct that gay men can't find true happiness and love? I'm tired of going to bed alone. Waking up alone. Going grocery shopping alone. Seeing movies alone. Driving to the Playa alone. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep at night, wondering "What's wrong with me? Why can't I find love?" And I know this all sounds terribly whiny and full of self-indulgent pity, but I'm basically an optimistic, up-beat kind of guy. My friends tell me I'm attractive. So what gives? Tonight I started to seriously contemplate signing up for eHarmony or Match.com. Maybe that's the only way I'll find love. And then I think to myself that only desperate losers use those services. Am I a desperate loser? And then my self-confidence hits rock-bottom, and I think, "Yeah, I am." So what am I looking for? And is what I'm looking for actually the right person for me? Let's start with looks. My "ideal" mate would look like Colt model Pete Kuzak, but without all the narcissism that someone who looks like that probably has. So let me start over. Looks wise - handsome. NOT a "pretty boy" necessarilly. Butch. Facial and Chest Hair big pluses. About my height (5' 10") or a little taller. Around my age - 35. Probably not much more than 5 years older or younger. Muscular is preferred, if for no other reason than to have someone motivate me to work out and stay in shape. Metal and ink (tasteful & artistic, of course) are also big pluses. Now for the things that aren't apparent when you see him. Intelligence. I would prefer that he have at LEAST some college or post-High School education. He has to have a sense of humor. After all, once we grow old and our looks fade, we'll still need to talk to each other. And I want someone I can talk to about a wide range of subjects and who'll make me laugh. He's got to have a job and a car. I don't care if he lives in an apartment, a house, or a condo. Just so long that he's enough of an adult to have his own place and wheels. I don't care how much money he makes. More is usually better (especially for dinners, movies, going on road trips, etc) as long as he's not materially obsessive. He's got to have some sort of Spiritual practice. I'm an ex-Southern Baptist quasi-agnostic pagan. I believe in a Higher Power, though I don't know exactly what it is. Sexually, he's got to be versatile. More bottom than top would be good, since I'm more top than bottom. But as long as he likes to fuck and get fucked, I'll be fine. And here comes some potentially controversial stuff. I'm HIV Poz and I would prefer him to be as well. There are numerous reasons for this. One of them is the fact that I hate, Hate, HATE condoms. Even with a cockring on, I usually tend to not be able to keep a hard-on when I'm wearing one. So I would prefer that my mate be a barebacker as well. Yes, yes, yes. I know that condoms prevent other diseases as well. I'm well versed in the condom dogma. I even encourage Neg guys to use them. That doesn't make me a hypocrite. It makes me an Adult who has made an informed decision for my self. Condoms are fine to use with a trick or annonymous encounters at sex clubs, but not for a long-term relationship. For me. Ok, now that that's done, what else? Well, he needs to be adventurous and creative. Someone who will be completely at home in the Black Rock Desert*, as well as the beach or the mountains. And the adventure shouldn't stop at his front door. He should be sexually adventurous as well. I'm NOT looking for a "Daddy" or "Master". Rather, I'm looking for an equal who likes to be a bit kinky and have fun in the bedroom, living room, kitchen, balcony, etc. If he's a nudist, that'll probably be a good thing as well. Now, let's talk about "substances". I'm not a PNPer and I don't want one for a mate. HOWEVER, I see no harm in OCCASIONAL recreational, medical, and/or spiritual uses of pot, shrooms, alcohol, etc. I absolutely would not be able to be in a relationship with a CM user. I've done that in the past, and it's messy. I have no desire to go through that again. Well, I think that's about it. Does the above described man exist? If he does, is he right for me? Who knows? But I do know that I won't know unless I find him or he finds me. So I'm putting this out into the Universe. Now I just have to see what the Universe decides to throw back at me. *Black Rock Desert - location of the annual Burning Man art and counter-culture festival

Katrina

PlayaDragonfly — Sat, 17 Sep 2005 10:35:00 GMT

So I'm driving back from The Burn on Monday the 5th. The AstroPups broke camp the day before and exited the playa shortly after the Temple Burn, and stayed that night in Reno. Anyway, I'm listening to NPR on the radio and nearly everything focused on Katrina. Now, during Burn Week we got occasional updates on the playa concerning New Orleans and the levees breaking. However, because all the news was focused on N.O., I had no idea there was also lots of damage in Mississippi. So I started realizing that from the news reports. My paternal grandfather, Poppy, lives 5 blocks from the beach in Biloxi. I tried calling my parents and could not get through with power and phone lines down. So I started to freak out. I called my brother who lives in Jacksonville, and he updated me as much as he knew, which really wasn't very much. As it now stands, Poppy's house is still standing, but he's lost everything else he owns. The previous storm which was the benchmark disaster for the region was Camille back in 1969. During that storm, water came to within a foot of being in his house. During Katrina, he had nearly 5 feet of water inside. The beachfront cemetary where my paternal Grandmother is buried, was looted by grave robbers. My parents' home, which is about an hour & a half drive north from Biloxi (a little town called Petal outside Hattiesburg) had a tree go through a wall in the living room and another tree came down on their motorhome, totalling it. My maternal Grandmother, who lives another hour and a half north of my parents in a little town called Newton, also had trees down and some damage to one of the bedrooms. All in all, my family is lucky. No one died. Yes, there was property damage and loss of belongings, but those are material things. My grandfather is now living with my parents, and probably will not move back into his house, according to my father. Still it was stressful to return to the default world and have all of this thrust upon me in addition to the depression that accompanies leaving the playa. I know there were Burners who lost everything and even friends and family members. So, I'm greatful that my family's loss is not greater. My anger and frustration towards the Bush administration knows no bounds at this point. Much of the damage, especially the flooding from the broken levees in New Orleans, was totally preventable. But this "President" would rather line his pockets and the pockets of his cronies......... I'm gonna stop there. If you are a decent, fair-minded person then I'm sure you know where I was heading. Anything I have to say has already been said many times over. I urge you to tune your radio dial to whatever Air America/progressive talk station that is in your area. I stopped listening to regualr radio in my car quite a while ago. I was listening to the various NPR and alternative radio stations. Then about 3 months ago a friend told me about AM 1150 here in LA. Now I'm hooked on it, and am very grateful to be able to get my news from people who tell it like it is. If you don't know where the Air America station is in your area, go to their website (www.airamericaradio.com). Randi Rhodes - You are a Goddess! Anyway, I'm off my soapbox now.

1st Ramble, 1:28am, Sept 14, 2005

PlayaDragonfly — Wed, 14 Sep 2005 09:37:35 GMT

I've got a lot of things runnin' through my head, especially after Burning Man and the Katrina disaster, that I feel like I need an outlet. So here it is. God! Why is it so hard to return to the "default world" every year after Burning Man? At times, I'm energetic. At times listful. Depressed. Excited. Some times many conflicting things all at once. If you've never been to Burning Man, you may not understand. It's sort of like taking the Red Pill in The Matrix. I've "woken up" in the real world, after having been asleep in the default world all my life. And now that I've experienced the real world and had a 7-day meal of it, I've been forced back into my pod and reconnected to the machines. I'll be forced to remain here for the next 50 weeks. And each year I'm allowed to leave my pod behind and exist in the real world for 1 week, until after many years I'll go mad. It's also like the first few moments after regaining consciousness after being given anesthesia. Where everything around you is a bit hazy, you feel a bit confused, and you're not quite sure where you are but feel like you don't really belong there. I don't belong here. I belong Out There where I can fully be who I am, knowing I won't be judged or ridiculed for the way I dress, or my hair, or piercings, or tattoos, or sexual preference. I can use substances knowing that my friends will be there for me when the drugs kick in, and I just need someone whose lap I can lay my head in for just a few minutes, till I get used to the experience. Knowing that I would do the same for them. And not being judged by them, because they were probably the ones who supplied the substances to me in the first place! Or someplace I can roam on my own and discover a Spanish Galleon pirate ship that's run aground. And pull my strength and courage together to climb the rope to the Crow's Nest where I'm afforded a remarkable view. And while there helping another guy up, and then his sister as well. And then having even more courage to climb back down in my semi-drunken haze. (You know how cats are - it's easy to climb up things, but terrifying to come back down!) To make my way through a funhouse maze where the ultimate goal is to find the hidden staircase that leads to The Man above. To feel the energy stored in the offerings and prayers left in an intricate Temple. To fall on my knees weeping, because to do anything else would be blasphemous. Sometimes, music somes to me out of the blue, and is perfect for a given situation. Like just now. Re-reading what I'd just written, I suddenly heard a very lonesome and sad voice singing to me. A voice coming out of foam, blue fur, and other materials - Gonzo, from The Muppet Movie. I heard him singing "I'm Going To Go Back There Someday." (Written by Kenny Ascher and Paul Williams.) "This looks familiar, vaguely familiar, Almost unreal, yet, it's too soon to feel yet. Close to my soul, and yet so far away. I'm going to go back there someday. Sun rises, night falls, sometimes the sky calls. Is that a song there, and do I belong there? I've never been there, but I know the way. I'm going to go back there someday. Come and go with me, it's more fun to share, We'll both be completely at home in midair. We're flyin', not walkin', on featherless wings. We can hold onto love like invisible strings. There's not a word yet for old friends who've just met. Part heaven, part space, or have I found my place? You can just visit, but I plan to stay. I'm going to go back there someday. I'm going to go back there someday." Well, there it is. My first Tribe Blog entry. I decided to call my blog "Random Ramblings" because I have no idea when (or even IF) I'll post another entry. And when I do, I'll probably just write whatever comes to me like I did this time, so I'll never know where my ramblings will go.