KentuckyJones and the Carpet of Doom! 4 Nights Only!

In a world where terrorism runs wild and evil is slowly destroying hope, only one man has the ability to save the world...

GOD HELP US ALL!

Join Kentucky Jones and his band of Adventurers as they scour the globe looking for the Legendary Flying Carpet of King Solomon, while battling deadly hitmen, sophisticated traps, and deadly monsters!

Doors Open at 7:00pm

Shows Begin At 8pm Sharp!

Live Performance at :THE BRAVA THEATER

Tickets at: www.sfindie.com/

To our fans...

It's been a year since our last show, and during that time we've been working hard on our next production. It seems our reputation for being a bit messy has spread far and wide and we've been denied and banned by all the theaters and warehouses throughout San Francisco and the Greater Bay Area. But you have to admit, with puddles of blood an inch thick on the floor and people's clothes being soaked and dyed in red liquid, you really can't blame them.

In January, our friends from the Hole In The Head Film Festival found a theater for us to perform in, and asked us to do a show for them again this year. The catch was that we would not be able to spray blood or any other type of liquid.

Now, The Primitive Screwheads enjoy being known as "The Blood Guys." We absolutely love seeing people drenched in fake blood and screaming for more. But we also take a lot of pleasure in being the group who works hard at making live theater fun, exciting and different. We've been able to bring in and entertain a lot of people, many of whom would not normally go to a live theater performance. And this is something that we're really proud of.

So, we decided to take the challenge of doing a show with absolutely no blood. And over the past few months, as we created this show, we didn't just start thinking outside the box; we broke the box down, rebuilt it, and found a way to redefine live theater once again.

For only four nights in June (18th to the 21st) at the Brava Theater, the Primitive Screwheads will be BONE DRY, with our new show: Kentucky Jones and The Carpet of Doom, a wacky takeoff on all the adventure movies we grew up on. It's got action, excitement, romance, monsters, and Killer Teas.

Same silly fun. Same crazy excitement. Same unpredictable show. The only difference is we emptied our buckets of blood and we filled them up with OTHER things (tee-hee!).

You can watch two of our mini teasers as well as buy tickets at this link:

audience.withoutabox.com/festi...em.php

We really hope you can make it out to the show. You're going to have a lot of fun at our first ever BONE DRY show. Just remember: No blood, so Anything Goes!

Our website is jacked right now so for More Info email:

information@primitivescrewheads.com

or

aprilmarch@primitivescrewheads.com

But don't worry. The Blood will be back soon ; )

Hello to all of our blood crazy fans

It's been too long (way too long) since we last had fun together. We needed to take some time off to recharge our batteries, but we also needed some time to create and develop more carnage and mayhem for you to enjoy. But now that we are ready, we've unfortunately run into a rather nasty roadblock.

It seems our reputation for being a bit messy has caused theaters and spaces to be afraid of us (and if you've seen our shows, you know their fear is warranted.) Simply put, we can't find a place to perform. Owners and managers have refused, denied, and backed out because they find us too messy for their tastes.

So we're reaching out to all of you, our fans, for suggestions or contacts. If you know of a space or someone with a space who might be willing to rent out to us and our antics, please let us know. We really need your help. We're just about out of options on our end. Ideally, we'd like to stay in the San Francisco Bay Area, but we're open to any and all suggestions.

If you could please email us at admin@primitivescrewheads.com with your ideas or suggestions, that would be great.

So, it might be a while till we see each other again and get to spray blood all over you, but don't worry, we will find a way somehow, because much like the killer who won't die...

We will be back.

Buckets of Blood Forever,
The Primitive Screwheads

Night of the Living Dead now open!!!

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: LIVE!


Six strangers are trapped in a small farmhouse in the countryside of Pennsylvania… Why? Because the dead are coming back to LIFE and want FLESH!!! You’ve seen it millions of times, but now see it as you’ve never seen it before—RIGHT IN YOUR LAP! Night of the Living Dead: LIVE! is a live, interactive, theatrical production that parodies, yet remains faithful to George Romero’s classic horror films.

Combining elements from Night, Dawn and Day of the Dead, this show will blow your mind if zombies don’t eat it first. Be ready for Nudity! Brains! Dismemberment! Gore!

And as always, lots and lots of BLOOD!!! as only The Primitive Screwheads Theatre Co. can bring to you!


WARNING: BLOOD AND GORE WILL SHOWER DOWN UPON THE AUDIENCE IN AN UNHOLY THUNDERSTORM FROM HELL!!!!

June 13,14,15,16 and June 20,21,22,23

Doors Open at 7:00pm


Shows Begin At 8pm Sharp!

To be performed at: Hole Head Playhouse 1333 Indiana @ 25th

DO NOT WEAR YOUR NICE CLOTHES!


Tickets at: www.sfindie.com/catalog/ind

www.primitivescrewheads.com

Up Next

Night of the Living Dead: LIVE!!!!!

When: June 13th-16th and 20th-23rd

Six strangers are trapped in a small farmhouse in the countryside of Pennsylvania… Why? Because the dead are coming back to LIFE and want FLESH!!! You've seen it millions of times, but now see it as you've never seen it before—RIGHT IN YOUR LAP! Night of the Living Dead: LIVE! is a live, interactive, theatrical production that parodies, yet remains faithful to George Romero's classic horror films. Combining elements from Night, Dawn and Day of the Dead, this show will blow your mind if zombies don't eat it first. Be ready for Nudity! Brains! Dismemberment! Gore! And as always, lots and lots of BLOOD!!! as only The Primitive Screwheads Theatre Co. can bring to you!

Tickets: $20

To Get Tickets, go here: www.sfindie.com/catalog/ad..._result.php

WARNING: BLOOD AND GORE WILL SHOWER DOWN UPON THE AUDIENCE IN AN UNHOLY THUNDERSTORM FROM HELL!!!! Don't wear your nice clothes.

Final Weekend of H3D!

Finally, the true story about the Haddonfield Babysitter Murderer is revealed in this suspense-filled, gorefest comedy by the Primitive Screwheads, who will be performing this show for the first time in SCREW-U-VISION, a revolutionary sensory process in which audiences will be given special glasses that will make it seem like the actors are not on stage, but they'll swear the actors are sitting on right in their laps.

This time around, we are performing at the Xenodrome Theater, which is a small 80 seat Venue, which allows our shows to be more intimate and it also brings the entire audience right up close to the action and excitment. The Xenodrome has also given us full permission to spray as much blood as we want, which means we are going to shower the entire audience without remorse. No one will be safe. NO ONE!

There will be beer and wine and snacks for sale.

WHEN: Thursday, Friday, Saturdays
March 22nd,23rd,and 24th
8pm Shows
Doors open at 7:15pm
WHERE: Xenodrome Theater
1320 Potrero (@ 25th Street)
San Francisco
Tickets: www.brownpapertickets.com/event/11223
$20 plus service charge online
$25 at the door.

Get your tickets early. Our shows sell out fast especially since we are at a smaller venue.
Thank You for your enthusiasm and support. And may God have mercy on you, because we sure won't!

www.primitivescrewheads.com

Crazy Go Nuts Show!

2 FOR 1 TICKETS WITH THIS FLYER!

Starring
The Primitive Screwheads Theater Company
and
Sketch Comedy Group Tossing Alice

A widely experimental musical, comedy variety program that harkens back to the glory days of Creature Features, The Donnie and Marie Show, and Rowen and Martin’s Laugh-In.

The Show features a wide variety of outrageous comedy sketches, musical performances, and improv routines so offensive, so risqué, and so controversial that it can only be shown at the stroke of 11:45pm.

The center piece of the show is the return of the legendary and notorious Stand-up Comedy Contest: Driest Comic Standing, in which Bay Area Comedians perform their routines and audience members get a chance to toss water balloons at the contestant if they do not like them. Think the Gong Show, but with water balloons.

In addition to this, The Crazy Go Nuts show will mark the unveiling of the most outrageous skit ever to be performed live on stage:
THE EVIL DEAD PORN.

And if that’s not enough, audiences will get a chance to see a 20 minute sneak peak performance of the Primitive Screwheads’ brand new blood splatter show H 3-D: The True Tale of The Haddonfield Babysitter Murder. A parody based on John Carpenter’s cult horror classic Halloween due out in March.

The Victoria Theater
16th & Mission
February 9,10, 16,17
11:45pm
Tickets: $15.25
www.sfindie.com/catalog/
For more info:
primitivescrewheads.com
myspace/primitivescreheads.com
Or contact:
admin@primitivescrewheads.com

Come and get it!

We're gearing up for the new year! Blood, violence, mayhem, comedy, nudity, loud music - what's not to love?

Jan 5- The Fangoria Convention in San Jose
- we'll be doing Friday the 13, Part 4 in 10 minutes, and the cat scene from our play, Re-Animator of the Dead

Feb 9,10, 16, 17- The Crazy Go Nuts Show @ The Victoria Theatre
- we're teaming up with our pals from indiefest and performing our violent, derranged comedy/variety show for two weekends of Mayhem. Featuring the immensly popular, Driest Comic Standing! The audience gets water balloons!


March- H 3-D, The True Tale of the Haddonfield Babysitter Murderer
- Our first 3-D play! you'll ba astounded as we present this live version of the Halloween movie!

June- Night of the Dawn of the Day of the Dead
- This will be the end all, slap a baby in the face, best show EVER!!!! All three Romero zombie movies in one show!?!?!?!?!!! Yes indeed.

"Best Goofy Gore"

We Were Voted Best of the Bay 2006 by the SF Gaurdian!

Severed arms, gushing entrails, and rivers of blood everyfreakingwhere! Yep, must be another Primitive Screwheads extravaganza. Beloved by local horror fans since its 2003 debut (the groovy Evil Dead: Live), this energetic company lures nontraditional theater crowds with its movie-inspired productions, most recently The Chainsaw Massacres. If you make a date with the Screwheads, it..s best to leave your favorite all-white outfit in the closet .. either way, though, prepare to draw stares as you shuffle home looking like a refugee from the set of Dead Alive. But mastering the art of modern Grand Guignol ain't the whole story: These thespians are side-splittingly funny. Their shows are so tech-heavy that improv is par for the course (allowing for spontaneous hilarity in case of a malfunctioning prop .. a mischievous axe, say). The future looks gruesomely bright for the Screwheads, who are in the process of becoming a nonprofit and plan to fling gore into their ever-growing audiences for years to come. Spray it, don't say it!

"Madcap Masters of Mayhem" - SF Guardian

Get your tickets for this weekend while you still can!

SLAY TIME

If you love comedy, horror movies, and the singular sensation of being doused with oddly fruity stage blood, you're probably already a Primitive Screwheads fan. If you're not, its time to familiarize yourself with the madcap masters of mayhem behind such spectacles as Re-Animator of the Dead: The Tale of Herbert West and the inimitable Evil Dead: Live. Named for a favorite Army of Darkness quote, the young company was founded by a group of San Francisco State theater students in 2003; now something of a splat-stick phenomenon, they've also mounted two hugely successful shows as part of the Another Hole in the Head film festival.
A few weeks back, a rowdy HoleHead crowd greeted their latest, The Chainsaw Massacres — a riff on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (with The Devil's Rejects, Saturday Night Fever, and other pop culture insanity tossed in) that's now returning to CELLspace. Codirectors Sean Madeira and Robert Selander — the troupe's standout ham, who played Evil Dead's Ash and has a juicy role in Chainsaw — are in the process of attaining nonprofit status for the Screwheads. It's an exciting development for a group that basically runs on a self-fueled (and self-funded) mix of ingenuity, enthusiasm, and a staggering ability to multitask.
"Sean is our main writer, and I'm our main blood technician and fight choreographer, but we split directing evenly," Selander explains. Madeira, who dreamed up the Evil Dead play while at a comics convention, drew on his screenwriting background for the company's first production, filling a previously undiscovered niche in the San Francisco theater scene in the process.
"Everyone's seen Shakespeare," Madeira says. "I figured I'll just give them something different, something wild." The Sam Raimi cult classic was chosen because of its single location and handful of characters and, of course, its gore-tastic possibilities, though the company's audience-splattering ways (now a trademark) were stumbled upon with utter spontaneity.
"I knew we were gonna have a lot of blood, because it was Evil Dead," Madeira recalls. "But then once it started accidentally hitting the audience, they went crazy."
"By the end of the first run, Sean was, like, 'Well, they liked it! We should just spray it at the audience,’>” Selander adds. "Ever since then we've been trying to invent new ways to do it. I think where we are now, we have a good basis for trying to get the audience involved that way. It's almost like a 3-D movie: We started doing the blood, then we started putting more actors dying in the audience. Now we have full scenes that happen in the aisles."
With a loyal following in place, the tight-knit Screwheads hope to do another comedy, Ã la their vaudevillian Crazy Go Nuts Show. "The horror stuff is cool," Madeira says. "But we don't want to be known strictly as the blood and guts guys." One day, he hopes to write an original play for the troupe without having to keep copyright laws in mind.
"That's why we stopped doing Evil Dead — we'd like to do it again, but go through the proper channels. We're not out here to steal anybody's property," Madeira says. "It was just a fun thing to do and it caught on. We had no idea it would be that popular."
Finding popularity isn’t a problem for the Screwheads anymore, since their gruesome gospel has spread as their productions have become more technically accomplished. With an eye toward attracting an even bigger nontraditional theater crowd, each night of Chainsaw features a live band before the show. But one burning question remains: What's in the blood?
"Can't tell you," Selander explains. "The blood is made of secrets." (Cheryl Eddy)
THE CHAINSAW MASSACRES
Thurs/29â “Sun/2 and July 7, 7 p.m.
CELLspace
2050 Bryant, SF
$20.25
www.sfindie.com
www.primitivescrewheads.com