waking to the resolution
Memory of a(n irradiant) Ddark Saint...
Thu, May 29, 2008 - 10:18 PM
You were the one who would go deeper into other states pulling them up int o our world like a possessed child, holding her babydoll.
She was my dream Circus co-founder. Dear friend and collaborator 1994-1998.
Felicity, Harvest, Rex, Melissa Margolis, Kate warrior girl, Brian Goggin, Tirza, myself.
Very important time for me,
the marriage of the sacred mystical forms and the profane sex dances,
the wild magic and the raw meat of mosh pits
the desert's flower spilling it's youth to the eternal.
Damn woman, you took the ball, you rolled with it.
You lived the Circus life.
You took it to the road with your love. You did it.
I remember the first conversation we ever had,
she told me she wanted to become a performer because there was the Los Angeles Earthquake and
she was sitting in a park afterwards with thousands of others and thought...
"I want to know how to create life and joy and play when this crisis happens again,
i want the skills to catalyze an audience and give them safety support and joy."
She earned that.
We walked the hippy wasteland in Golden gate park for Jerry garcia's memorial,
chanting "GET A JOB" and playfully morphing it into "MAKE A JOB"... make a job.
brutal critical, uplifting. Hopeful with a spiteful smile.
she was one of those posse that you know you can take on the world with, wolf pack, won't back down...
She played the Devil on the Tarot deck, savagely tending bar with whiskey and cigarettes and bones,
she was tender and commited, she was all on would want in a partner when we were there,
holding down the Dream Circus, and we were Dream Circus for some time...
The woman was a girl when i met her and now she is ever.
Blessings on your Raven's wings as they stretch to take flight my dear.
I am cradling your heart while my warrior's armor takes in your strength...
Great whip cracker,Cantankerous Lolly, Spy.
I will miss you.
there can be no imposter for her,
I now carry deep language for another just her annd me,
jigsaw spirit I hold my peace in the land of dreams, see you there...
peiceof the heart that was her so spotlight epic.
this is me knowing this is true for you.
Totally will be missed her brash sensitivity, shit, kindess, she is helping me to write, though., I am writing at the computer, kind of not stopping except to practice whips, so there you have, it, some we love enough to allow them to haunt us on occasion...
Love,
with peace.
Pdox
Thu, May 29, 2008 - 10:18 PM -
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 11:03 PM
Life is unfair. Hard like steel. Fuck the gun the thing that takes and takes and gives nothing and takes more and more. Fuck the ore in the rocks that we command to melt into form and forge the shapes that enslave the people and kill the innocent. Fuck the store that sells the bullets that go in the guns for 20 cents like that's all a precious life is worth, the price of a bullet on sale at the counter sold to you by a 15 year old bored drone. Fuck the grain fermented into the booze that we swill to dull our senses so we can cope with the guns and the lies and the pollution and the advertising and the lack of satisfaction and junk mail and the disease and corruption.
We are impoverished by Felicity's passing. I am sickened by this. |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 1:09 AM
Yeah, what he said.
It's beyond incredibly sad.
For us. She's a beautiful bright light. She's shining. |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 1:13 AM
More details from www.sideshowworld.com/M&F-ws.html" Felicity Perez wanted to learn about guns, and tragically, it killed her. Perez, 36, was shot and killed Wednesday afternoon in east Bexar County. At about 1 p.m., a friend of Perez and her husband were target practicing and teaching Perez how to shoot. The friend, who neighbors say is a highly decorated Vietnam veteran and an avid gun collector, was loading a high-powered rifle. They had been shooting a .22 and were about to teach Perez about higher caliber guns when the friend loaded the last round into the rifle, and deputies say the men told them the rifle just went off. "The gentleman had loaded the ammo and he was putting it into the rifle. Apparently something happened that caused the rifle to discharge several times in a row. And as he was stepping back apparently the barrel of the rifle came down in her direction and one of the rounds that had discharged, struck her," Lt. Robert Talbert said. " |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 1:08 PM
noooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
cantankerous will never sound the same! my tears are sheading! |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 7:45 PM
it's hard y'all...
I went out today to crack my whips in heer honor and just fell down weeping, felt her hard surface and soft interior, remembered how dedicated she was to finding the secrets, to seeing what was behind the veils, now, spirit, move on, don't stick around, I cried cuz I felt she might stick around, and I wanted her to be free, and then I just let her go, i said, do what you will shall be the whole of the law, felt fuckin cheated at not being able to sit around the fire as old people with her and have our fuckin stories, and remember through the veils, remember through the history to the amazing stories we shared.
i guess it hit me that when we worked together, we were punk as fuck and we were radical and in your face with spirituality in a very visceral way. SHE WENT HER WAY AND I MINE, BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE A REUNION, A TIME WE COULD COME TOGETHER.. I'm trippin that she won't be there. simple sweetness, I'm affording myself alot of greif and a few moments of simple sweetness where I ccan really let go... |
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Sat, May 31, 2008 - 12:36 PM
I am in shock. Felicity always took life to the deepest limits. She never let fear stand in her way. She was someone I could share my darkest secrets with and know I would not be judged. She was the most fun to play with and I swear we would channel entities together. She was very grounded but could enter the most altered states at the drop of a hat. She sought truth. She took chances and explored, catalyzed discoveries. She was a great listener and full of compassion. She had the most beautiful smile. We were out-there punk rock shamanic sisters, playing music, rolling around as circus freaks, being sexy, dressing up, exploring the outer realms and creating style from scratch. I was so proud of her for following her dream path and I am shattered that it ended so early...I wanted our paths to cross again...xoxoxoxoxo wherever you are my beloved sister...
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Sat, May 31, 2008 - 1:40 PM
www.sideshowworld.com/M&F-Tribute.html
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Fri, June 6, 2008 - 4:57 PM
Until we meet again...
Seeing Felicity laying in state was strange. I kept expecting her to sit up and say PSYCH!!!!! But it did not happen.
After learning of her leaving this world, I kept hearing her laughter, even standing before her body. Her laughter and her belief in me even when she was unsure of life herself. She left with all of her dreams coming true. A life on the road doing shows, marrying Mathew and getting closer to her family. "Sister, where have you gone?" Until we meet again. Love and Light my dear friend. Eveline |
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Thu, June 12, 2008 - 2:15 PM
couldn't believe it when i heard it. still can't.
so wrong its all been said, i can only agree. impish angel. 100% authentic. never gave up. sorely missed. |
