It was so nice to get away from all the Todds and Heathers around here and hang out with some straight up boozebags in Memphis. Even the bums kicked it old school. Ten minutes after me and my boy rolled in we are standing in the street drinking 40s and this dude is literally singing in front of me for some coin. I avoided his shit for as long as I could, don't play a player and all that, but after awhile I gave him a five just to get him to roll the fuck out. A few minutes later I see him again and he is eating some of those little peanut butter cracker things and has a candy cane the size of a cigar. That's hardcore.

The other hardcore thing is my boys stomach. He ate so much ribs if our plane went down the news would have reported the dead at 49 people, a dragon and a litter of pigs.

I didn't get any ass though. It sucked. At first I pretended that I was like a very important man and shit. In fact I kept going up to Bettys and saying "I'm a very important man" but no interest at all. Then I went for "My Mom just died" but when I started pulling them in with that I just started to giggle. Fucking nitrous. Finally I just started rubbing asses in this club, there were so many people out on the floor it looked like a bunch of monkeys trying to fuck a football. One chick had this little candy cane taped to her ass, and I kep trying to grab it, I so love ass candy, but the bouncers saw me and I got booted. I ended up just rubbing one out in an alley, thinking about you.