My Eccentric Rants

I CREATE THIS!

raerae — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:34:05 GMT

Wow, it's been a wonderful couple of years of creating. Creating new art, learning great leasons, developing a wonderful relationship, and beginning new ventures. I am truely blessed! Over my life I have always been a creator, though I only thought it was in the avenue of my art. Then I began to embrace the conceptual idea that we all create our realities, but couldn't really grasp how beyond the mental construct of it. Movies like The Secret and What the Bleep Do We Know further intriged me and tugged at that inner knowing that lay dormant. Now, the culmination of my art and psychology studies in school and my research and experimentation in various spiritual belief systems has brought me a greater understanding of Manifestation. As a student of energy, I've noticed that the same way in which I create my art, I create in the world. Thought. Concious or not, thought creates. I staged an experiment for myself (as sometimes I am a bit to logical and my ego likes proof). I decided that I would create something in the real world that I did not have direct control over, but was so odd and unimportant that I would know that I had created it when it happened. I had never seen a Peptobismal pink VW Bug before. Now, to me, that would be funny, so I went about creating this picture in my mind and knowing that it would happen. I began to look for it. About a week later, I saw red and a while VW bug parked one in front of the other at a gas station. I laughed and thought "almost, but no - Peptobismal Pink!". A couple of days later, a friend of mine named Barbie was all excited about this picture she wanted to show me. She was excited because it was a picture of the limited series Barbie VW Bug. Guess what? It was Peptobismal Pink. She had no idea of my experiment. She was the bartender at a bar I used to work at and just happened to have this picture that someone else gave her on the day I came in and showed it to me. At that time, they were not on the road yet, and I had created "seeing" it. Not specifying real or picture, I got picture. This experiment excited me since it confirmed the practical application of creating. Now, the focus was on how to create the big things in life. Love, Peace, wealth, health, success. All of the things that most people who have not surpassed the ego (which is most of the population of the earth) are looking to create in life. Now, at the core of every habit or issue or lack is a program in the mind. These come from nature and nurture. Our genetics and our life experiences. These are our perceptions. Our minds file this information away and it runs in the background of minds, creating the thoughts and actions that create our reality. In many spiritual practices they teach meditation or "no mind" in order to move beyond the chattering monkey mind or ego mind. And really, that is the ultimate goal, but I find different tools work for different people. I've developed a tool that I feel brings the responsiblity and power back to the individual. I CREATE THIS! is all about individuals creating and changing their thoughts in order to create the life they want to live. To see more on this tool, please visit www.icreatethis.com

Life altering experience!

raerae — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 19:40:37 GMT

I've just come back from my first meeting with Ammachi. Though I have met many teachers and supposed gurus, many of which had some beautiful qualities, but none that I would consider a "Master". I had been told that having a master was the way to go. That it was some how a more efficient path to the divine. The only way I would find this to be possible was if the Master no longer had ego. From my perspective, anyone claiming to be a guru or master and still having ego may be able to teach me a few things, but would always still be seeing through all of their own stuff and therefor could not possibly give me clear guidance. Besides, I've always been strongly independent, so excepting outside help is very much a challenge. So, having said all that, I come upon an opportunity last weekend to meet Ammachi. She is said to be not only a Master, but an avatar. So I took all of my scepticism and curriosity to this Darshan. I thought I would never kneel at the feet of a person, and I guess I can say that I still have not, because the entity at whos feet I knelt was not of this world. As I knelt, and I could do nothing else, and was humbled in her presence, I realized that this was the Divine animating a body. I was kneeling at the foot of God, not the body that sat in front of me. And when she held me to hug me, I went somewhere....she smelled of flowers and her voice in my ear pulled me back to my body. I choose to recieve a mantra from her that night. This ment that I commit to working with her as my Master for the rest of this life and beyond. There was no other choice for me......I have been changed..... I now see that all of this talk of maters and gurus had challenged my beliefs and led me to this moment and this was the "right" path for me. But I also would never claim to know what is right for another....just wanting to share....

Why......

raerae — Mon, 20 Jun 2005 20:06:52 GMT

Why is it that anything that smacks of dogma raises my hairs and makes me growl? Why is it that "shoulds" and "should nots" piss me off? Why is it that boxes make me clostrophobic? Why does "exceptable" behavior make me want to scream naked through the shopping mall? Maybe it's that I am not tamable. Not willing to surrender to a sick worlds view of complacency. Is it wrong to want to swim naked in the ocean? To feel the increadible intimacy of the blood of the earth caressing my most vulnerable parts? If you ask society, the answer would be "that is illegal", "perverse", or some religions would even say that it is "immoral". How many of you have actually risked all of your fears to experience this amazing feeling??? The freedom of such amazing beauty and communion? I can not covey what only experience can teach.......

Death for Life

raerae — Fri, 17 Jun 2005 05:42:37 GMT

To truely live one must except.....surrender to death. Hmmmm. What a concept. I'm starting to get a glimps of what that might look like. Having just lost my grandfather, I'm having to really address death for the first time. I've had friends and animials die and that is rough, but there is something in loosing my grandfather that is triggering something deeper. First of all, I knew it was coming. That is different than any of the other experiences. I felt it last Christmas when I saw him. Looking back, I realize that I start doing things that might keep it from happening. I thought if I moved back to where he was, maybe I could be of help. Of course, no one knew that he was on his way out....or not at least conciously. Then he had a stroke in early May. I had not been able to sell my house and get back there by this time. A couple of days after he had the stroke, I felt I HAD to go back to see him before he passed. I got there, spent a couple of days with him and then left, knowing that he was going to pass very soon. I now realize that I left so that I wouldn't have to see him go. Again, my way of trying to control it. If I didn't see it, maybe it wouldn't be real. He passed a few days later. I didn't go to the funeral and promptly got so busy, I couldn't see straight. How convenient. Now, I'm sitting here facing the fact that he is truely gone. My grandpa was my dad for the first 10 years of my life. He was the only man that has been there my whole life and now he is gone. He was the archetype of the strong male. He was an artist, a craftsman. He was so much to me. And he was stability. Stability has died. Everything dies. We have no control over when it happens. We have no say. Stability is a farse. So if nothing is stable and we can loose anyone or anything at anytime, what is left but to really live the moment? Knowing that he was going and I had no control over it, I was able to truely be with him in those days. To really be present and love him like I have not done since I was a child. What a blessing that was. We usually don't have the forsight of when death is coming, so why don't we live each moment in full presence rather than waste it on past or future? If you wasted the moment with a loved one worrying about past or future and they died tomorrow, would you regret it? Of course we would, so why chance regret??? Besides, why is it called the present? Because it is a gift. Thank you Grandpa for all of your love, your life, and beyond.