I dropped the ball
Yeah more than once
A formal apology
And not a lightly, just because.

I dropped the ball
And I’m sorry, it’s true
I dropped the ball
I gave it some thought, though, a few

I didn't’ think it could happen to me but now its’ true
I dropped the ball for some reason
I’m so sorry, it’s not just you

See I did it again I fumbled it up good
I thought I knew what I was doing but
Some how it ain’t all that in tha hood

I dropped the ball again more than just a few
I’m sorry It happened to more than just you.

Seeing something wrong in it
Or so it seems

A thorn in the side
Or a blessing that gleams

So you were guided to do so
And you were wondering what you missed
But return to trust your guide for everything you did


Because fear is instinctual, illusional, and dark
its heavy like a shroud and dillusionarally stark.

Intuition on the other hand
Alerts you when it’s time
But you need to decipher
The grit from the brine

Try to see the veil first, then you’ll see what’s wrong
It’s got you tuned to the key of a mourning song.
Pull the shroud off from your eyes
And the world is unmanifest and you will… you’ll soon realize

That fear creates an instinct that forms intuition that becomes manifest

Some try to
Some try not to.
Be sexually attractive
Be romantically stimulating.
WE both *sigh*
And cringe
At love
And smile and dance (regardless)

To pull is to push
And to block is to reveal.
We want what we don’t need
(But, why are our wants only wants because we don’t need them)
And we don’t want what is in ours?
We are playing a game with our power of free will
That can consume if we forget
that we will always win.

OK fine, I’ll start again a bit further along than where I was. I’ll just hose off this mess and find myself with a cold. So I’ll light a fire and brew strong teas and write and write till solutions emerge and I forget your grace and I build stones around certain memories while I try to keep the good ones in photos in my computer… it’s been a while sine I’ve smiled for you, only because I’ve been foolish. Feeling Fooled and ridiculed by you.
Only Anger has the power to negate my tears.

I’m lucky my heart is not so attached to cause me any longing.
I’m lucky my heart is able to love my love so hard
I’m lucky this heart that loves so much is mine.
I’m lucky I’ve shared it.

The pattern that’s emerged came from a trust so clear. It makes me think of kainite and how the power of letting go can be so intoxicating.
One false move on a stack of cards only a prince can maneuver with grace

I love so hard I’m hard on my love.

You were a
Dissolver
Resolver
Revolver
Revolution
Solution
Reverie

Look up ally,
You weren’t one to me.

Loyalties to royalties
Every man has his way.

Damn, I wish you liked me for who I am.
Now I’ll be on my way.

o cosmic birther of all radiance and vibration! soften the ground of our being,
and carve out a space within us where your presence can abide.

fill us with your creativity so that we may be empowered to bear
the fruit of your mission.

let each of our actions bear fruit in accordance with our desire.

endow us with the wisdom to produce and share what each being
needs to grow and flourish.

untie the tangled threads of destiny that bind us, as we release
others from the entanglement of past mistakes.

do not let us be seduced by that which would divert us from our
true purpose, but illuminate the opportunities of the present moment.

for you are the ground and the fruitful vision, the birth, power
and fulfillment, as all is gathered and made whole once again.