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the sickest buddhist video is back

rayann — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 21:08:43 GMT

finally !! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gCU5uplB4A

500 days of summer

rayann — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 02:28:47 GMT

is a fantastic movie. not a romantic comedy as it looks.

2011 unplugged

rayann — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 03:39:02 GMT

starting now, but for 2011 i plan to spend a max of 25 min / day online. computer time is killing my awareness and body and making my world feel small. well thats the message of my last two solitary retreats anyway. so phone me. time for phones again.

so you don't microwave plastic anymore...

rayann — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 20:06:59 GMT

but do you drink hot liquids from paper cups with a plastic lid? heat + plastic = :( don't do it, especially if you want to have a healthy baby

a new love

rayann — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 05:20:39 GMT

i do not know that i have ever loved anything as much as painting.

must see movies?

rayann — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 02:02:04 GMT

so since i just figured out how to use vuze i am rather excited to have movies at my fingertips... so what are you absolute faves or recent pleasures? i have been completely and totally out of the loop! thanks

$40 pilates privates still available

rayann — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 15:02:31 GMT

In Vancouver on Wednesday and Thursday mornings and afternoons. Reformer, Tower, Chair, arc, bosu, and mat. message me for more info

had i forgotten

rayann — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 21:55:56 GMT

that break ups hurt so bad and that meditation means that these aches can not be ignored. i feel in one of my deepest depressions, but life is still going, i am still working, still practicing, still listening to people functionally weighted, inside the meat grinder i am remembering that i asked for this wearing down of my hard edges

Why It Is Wise to Worship a Woman

rayann — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 16:15:42 GMT

Why It Is Wise to Worship a Woman Arjuna Ardagh A few days ago, after a particularly exquisite evening with my wife Chameli, I put this post up on Facebook before going to bed: "I have had many, many great teachers in my life. A super abundance. No one and nothing comes close to the woman who is now asleep in the bedroom. My marriage has become the guru, the salvation, the muse, the crack through which the divine shines through." When I woke up the next morning, there were the usual offerings of people who liked the post as well as comments. One man had the vulnerability and courage to post this on facebook: "Thank you Arjuna for this sharing, I feel like [I'm] in front of a choice which is between feeling envious of what you have and I don't, or instead to decide that 'I want that too,' and, as you show, it is possible..." I was touched. Over the next days, I got several more messages like this from men: vulnerable men, honest men, rare and courageous men. They came in as private messages on Facebook or through our website, and they all said basically the same thing: "I read your Facebook post. I want what you have. Show me how to get it." So, friends, here it is. The short guide on how to worship a woman, and why it's the wisest thing that a man can do. First of all, lets pop a few very understandable doubts that you might have. I'm familiar with all of them. 1. "I'm wounded and damaged in my relationships to the feminine." So am I, dear brother, so am I. My parents divorced in a messy way when I was four. I grew up alone with my mother. She did her very best to provide for me, but she was unhappy and insecure. By the time I started to have relationships with women myself in my early teens, I discovered that I had a mountain of resentments, fears, and separation in my relation to the feminine. The conscious practice of worship can become a part of healing the wounds. 2. "Arjuna, you're lucky. You've got an incredible partner. I'm together with a woman who's not like Chameli." I really don't have the ultimate answer to that doubt or question. It certainly could seem to be the case that I've been lucky in finding a great woman, but here's how it happened for me. I've had a lot of less lucky connections in my life. I've experienced my share of the manipulative side of the feminine: the victim, the rageful, the vengeful. And I have seen the ugly side of the masculine psyche in myself. A few weeks prior to meeting Chameli, my wife, something deep and profound shifted in me, which I believe can shift for anyone in the same way. 3. "I don't have a partner at all, and I sometimes doubt if I'll ever meet anybody." Being with a partner where worship is not flowing, or not being with a partner at all, are basically two aspects of the same situation: you've had an intuition or a glimpse of the possibilities of a deeper love, and you want more of it. The solutions are the same. 4. "I feel my heart is closed down. I live in my head a lot, and I wouldn't even know what worship was if it broke into my house at 2 o'clock in the morning and held me at gunpoint." That's where the whole thing starts for all of us, when we realize that we don't yet know how to love. And that's that the big question that you have to consider: "Is that okay with me?" Never mind how much money you make, or how many friends you have on Facebook, no matter how nice a house you live in, or no matter how big a car you drive, no matter how impressive your partner's bust size, or how much you meditate and become spiritual... have you loved for real, in a total and undefended way? If not, and here's where you have to be honest with yourself, is that OK with you? Is it OK to die one day without the heart's gift having been fully given? Eight or nine years ago, I came to that question in myself, exactly that, and I discovered that the answer was, if I was was raw and vulnerable and uncomplicated, that it was actually not OK. If I died one day without having fully loved, it would not have truly been a life well lived. Many many years ago, I went to Bali for a vacation, on my own. I met up with some other young travelers there and we hired a Jeep to take us on a tour of the island. We drove up right to the highest point of the island, where Tourists don't usually go. Our guide took us to one of the most sacred temples. It was surrounded by a big brick wall with an ornate entrance. After removing our shoes and wrapping scarves around our heads, we stepped together through this entrance. Inside, there was a short courtyard and then another brick wall with another entrance. After more preparations of lighting incense and giving offerings, we stepped through the second entrance. We were allowed to go through the opening in one more wall, but that was it. All together there were ten walls around the deity in the middle. Hindus could go beyond the fourth wall. Devotees of that particular deity could go beyond the fifth wall, and so it went on. The only people allowed to approach the deity directly were those who had given their lives completely and totally to its worship. Everyone else could come a little closer, a little closer, to the innermost beauty, but not all the way to the center. I'm not a big believer of the worship of statues, but there's a beautiful symbolism to what I saw there, because a woman's heart is just like that. At the essence of every woman's heart is the divine feminine. It contains everything that has ever been beautiful, or lovely, or inspiring, in any woman, anywhere, at any time. The very essence of every woman's heart is the peak of wisdom, the peak of inspiration, the peak of sexual desirability, the peak of soothing, healing love. The peak of everything. But it's protected, for good reason, by a series of concentric walls. To move inwardly from one wall to the next requires that you intensify your capacity to devotion, and as you do so, you are rewarded with Grace. This is not something you can negotiate verbally with a woman. She doesn't even know consciously how to open those gates herself. They are opened magically and invisibly by the keys of worship. If you stand on the outside of the outermost wall, all you have available to you, like many other unfortunate men, is pornography. For $1.99 a minute, you can see her breasts, maybe her vagina, and you can stimulate yourself in a sad longing for deeper love. Step through another gate, and she will show you her outer gift-wrapping. She'll look at you with a certain twinkle in her eye. She'll answer your questions coyly. She'll give you just the faintest hint that there is more available. Step through another gate with your commitment, with your attention, with the small seedlings of devotion, and she'll open her heart to you more. She'll share with you her insecurities, the way that she's been hurt, her deepest longings. Some men will back away at this point. They realize that the price they must pay to go deeper is more than they are willing to give. They start to feel a responsibility. But for those few who step though another gate, they come to discover her loyalty, her willingness to stick with you no matter what, her willingness to raise your children, stick up for you in conversation, and, if you are lucky, even pick up your dirty socks now and then. And so it goes on. You've got the gist by now. Somewhere around the second wall from the center, she casts the veils of her personality aside, and shows you that she is both a human being and also a portal into something much greater than that. She shows you a wrath that is not hers, but all women's. She shows you a patience that is also universal. She shows you her wisdom. At this point you start to experience the archetypes of women, who have been portrayed as goddesses and mythological figures in every tradition. Then, at the very center, in the innermost temple itself, all the layers of your devotion are flooded with reward all at once. You discover the very essence of the feminine, and in a strange way that is not exactly romantic, but profoundly sacred all the same, you realize that you could have got here with any woman if you had just been willing to pass through all the layers of initiation. Any woman is every woman, and every woman is any woman at the same time. When you love a woman completely, at the very essence of her being, this is the one divine feminine flame. It is what has made every woman in history beautiful. It's the flame behind the Mona Lisa, and Dante's Beatrice, and yes, also Penelope Cruz and Heidi Klum. You discover the magic ingredient which has lead every man to fall in love with a woman. When you learn how to pay attention to the essence of the feminine in this way, you fall to the floor in full body prostration, tears soaking your cheeks and clothes, and you wonder how you could have ever taken Her, in all of Her forms, for granted even for a second. So just a couple small questions remain. First, do you get what I'm talking about? Does it jive for you? Does it make sense? And second, if yes, how are you going to get from where you are now to being able to the full capacity of your heart to love for real? I'd be glad to share more about this if we get to know each other better, but here's how you get started. First, do what I did, and create an altar in your room dedicated to Divine Feminine. Put only symbols of the feminine on it. I have a painting called "Beatrix" by Dante Gabriel Rossetti. I have a statue of Quan Kin. Populate your altar with anything that reminds you of the feminine, and spend a few minutes of the day in worship. Yes, worship. Adoration. Devotion. Offer up rose petals. Offer poems. Offer everything, and beg Her to reveal Her innermost essence to you. This will work miracles whether you're single and waiting to meet the right woman or whether you're already in relationship and long to meet your woman in a deeper way. The second way to get started: make a practice, a discipline, of telling your woman, or any woman, ten times a day something which you adore about her. "I love the smell of your shampoo." "I love the way you laugh." "The color of your eyes is so beautiful." Of course, you need to keep it appropriate. You can go as far out on a limb as you like if you're in relationship with a woman, but with anyone else remember the gates. Keep you communication appropriate to the gate number that you find yourself at. Appreciation the curve of a woman's breast, for example, if she happens to be the cashier at the supermarket, would equate more to harassment than worship. So here's enough to get started. Of course, there's a lot more we can say about this. Feel free to post your comments below, and I'll use them as the foundation for future blogs.

why can't i own a canadian?

rayann — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 18:37:13 GMT

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative: Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your adoring fan. James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)

july

rayann — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 04:27:01 GMT

my bed is a fort my man is an angel my ice cream is 20 blocks away but with a fort and an angel who cares

the new age struggle

rayann — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 15:30:30 GMT

the thing about new age spiritually that really challenges me is that everything has to be all good: love and light that we cant exist as beings pursuing awakening WITH our dominator energy WITH our obnoxious insecurity with all of the human gifts that are there to bring pain that causes eyes to open as i meet people new to a spiritual path swimming in books and 'good energy' and spouting eckhart tolle constantly i see such a struggle in them sad eyes with a huge smile because they don't feel they can be themselves (ugly, insecure, dominating humans) they must be joyous and luminous and get all the yucky things out so they struggle and pretend and the greatest tragedy to me is the beauty of who they are now, in all its sickness and health is completely rejected an inauthentic self is grasped at, and built up and they have missed the truth they have missed acceptance and they have missed the reality of the human journey i will articulate this further later.

East van sweet sublet July/August

rayann — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 22:02:26 GMT

My room is up for july and august or just july if you like. hardwood, large bright room in a large house right across from trout lake. $625 / month including everything quiet vibe right by libbys coffee!

you know something has changed

rayann — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 06:39:39 GMT

when you look at dreadlocks and are actually grossed out

i dreamed it

rayann — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 07:23:42 GMT

we are born to die. again and again in this life.

the best quote ever

rayann — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 03:51:49 GMT

Note: Dharma refers to Buddhist meditation "Never think that you will be able to settle your life down by practicing the Dharma. The Dharma is not therapy. In fact, it is just the opposite. The purpose of the Dharma is to really stir up your life. It is meant to turn your life upside down. If that is what you asked for, why complain? If it is not turning your life upside down, on the other hand, the Dharma is not working. That kind of Dharma is just another one of these New Age methods; the Dharma should really disturb you." - Dzonsar Khyentse Rinpoche, from "Entrance to the Great Perfection"

10 favorite things

rayann — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 05:37:22 GMT

10 things i love to do in particular order. please share yours if you like. 1. dancing 2. rearranging my room 3. meditation 4. making schedules 5. teaching people how to be in their bodies/move their bodies 6. hiking in the desert 7. eating delicious food 8. star gazing 9. touching animals, being close to animals 10. dreaming / sleep

Ever wonder why candida diets dont work ?

rayann — Fri, 21 May 2010 03:54:10 GMT

I have done different versions. Maybe 5 or more in the last few years. Sometimes I feel good for a short time, but often my health declines. They say it's 'die off' but my body distinctly feels dry, malnourished, weak....i sense that it can not sustain itself in that state, i get burned out easily, get needy, feel out of alignment. it has never felt right. And why? Because candida diets do not take who you are into account. They do not look at your constitution, your makeup, your tendencies. The one size fits all with slight modifications blanket advice I feel I can quite confidently say now is dangerously limited. For example (pardon my simple language here but we have all seen the 'eat' and avoid lists): lemon juice is good. apple cider vinegar is good. sweet things are bad. grains are bad. all vegatables are good. My recent candida diet put my body in a crisis, that ayurveda started healing within 2 days of a diet change. Why? Because I was eating a lot of pitta (fire) aggravating foods and avoiding pitta pacifying foods (like sweet fruit and rice) and guess what? candida is made from too much piita (with a kapha component) in ayurveda. so what is my candida treatment? eat asparagus, basil, parsely, white rice, dates, and a huge array of other foods, avoiding sour and spicy. seriously amazing. and yes of course probiotics. so i can not recommend enough a consult with a ayurvedic doctor. i know a great one who does phone consults for 40$ if you are in need. it is s not all about the sugar.

Ixaya School

rayann — Mon, 17 May 2010 20:43:32 GMT

Hey all, I used to volunteer here when it was just an orphanage - before they expanded into a school for neighboring communities. its pretty amazing what this small group of yogis (6) have done. Please check it out and see if there is any way you can help http://www.youtube.com/tashiratkids#p/a/u/1/GodS-7e8xlQ Greetings! As most of you know, our school has been in financial crisis due a loss of monthly sponsors over the course of this past year; the economic recession has really hit our school hard! But thanks to a few of our supporters, who inspired some of their friends to become new sponsors, we are able to assure our students that Ixaya will be open next year! We'd like to take this opportunity to give a special thank you to all of you who helped us get the word out about our funding needs! Unfortunately, as things stand, we will have to close 5th through 7th grade and reduce the number of students per classroom to 10 in order to remain open next year. Two weeks ago we had to explain all of this to the parents, and we were deeply moved by how adamantly they fought for a last chance to raise the necessary funds themselves before the end of the year! Inspired by the parents faith and efforts, we ask you also to join us in one last great effort to continue to serve all of our students again next year. We only need $2,000. USD more a month in combined consistent sponsorships. Hopefully bythe end of June we will have raised enough sponsorships to avoid turning away any of our students. Please help us spread the word! If the efforts of only a small group of our friends and supporters managed to keep the school open this year, we can only imagine what could happen if every person who receives this newsletter today simply spread the word among their friends and family! Ixaya Group Ways you can help us turn things around: * Spread the word through any social networking sites you are a member of, through personal emails or word of mouth. * Be a monthly sponsor for ANY amount OR sponsor one of our students entire education for $60 dollars a month. Everything helps! Simply go to DONATE OR SPONSOR. * Send people you know the link for our latest Ixaya school video at www.youtube.com/tashiratkids * Simply forward this email! * If you would like to help us raise funds please respond to this email so we can brainstorm and share ideas! Even just inviting close friends and family over to have a little get-together fundraiser is a great way to help us. Please remember, donations are greatly appreciated but sponsorships are what keep the school alive. What's new this spring! Due to some of our students' unstable childhoods and learning disabilities, we have recently implemented a "high school preparation class" for our older students with learning challenges and/or a history of absences during the course of their education, who are about to enter high school next fall. Teen Class They are catching up on all that they never learned from first grade onwards. Many have struggled through secondary school, very handicapped by the fact they never learned what they needed to in younger years. We have taken many very young and/or learning disabled children into our orphanage especially this past year, and found it necessary to open a preschool, kindergarten and special needs first grade classroom, which our Tashirat staff members teach. Abundio & Lupita Ixaya Group We have received help from two great volunteer tutors, Saya Knox from Australia, who was with us for three months this year and Antares Hernandez, a Mexican volunteer who has just returned to help for another two months! Saya These dedicated young women have been great tutors and motivators to several of our young special needs children who need a lot of personal attention. Ixaya Group Our students have also been enjoying the service of one great parent volunteer who has been setting up her own small mobile library in the parking lot every Friday during recess. Cristina Library As the children browse for books and play checkers and other games she made at home, she reads to the little ones and invites them to dress up in her collection of funny hats! School Library As we don't have much of a library for the school yet, her book mobile has been a great way to get the kids enthusiastic about reading. Fortunately, we did just receive a surprise donation of brand new books from our friends from New Jersey, Debra Trofe and Nancy Mazgajewski. Thank you all so much for helping us to keep our little school alive! Wishing you a wonderful spring, Ixaya School students, teachers and staff

summer

rayann — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 00:25:40 GMT

4 months to find the authentic dance of the body. or a hum of it.

body-work

rayann — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 15:34:12 GMT

god i love my job!

candida die off

rayann — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 05:06:49 GMT

will the exhaustion ever end?

TRUNK April 9-17

rayann — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 05:43:36 GMT

TRUNK April 9-17 - Vancouver bc Trunk: A Theatrical Installation How is trauma transmitted through time and blood? Seeking revenge for years of abuse, Holick locks himself inside the physical manifestation of the trauma his father suffered during the Second World War. As his father’s psychosis becomes more dangerous, Holick becomes trapped in a phantasmagorical nightmare. A story about personal catastrophe and communal redemption, Trunk, is written and directed by Jeremy Waller (director of last year’s controversial smash hit, Biographies of the Dead & Dying). Trunk will transform Box Studios into an unhinged Alice in Wonderland world, totally immersing the audience in a site‐specific location of the sub‐conscious. The set, designed by Edith Artner and lit by Kyla Gardiner, will be constructed largely from moving scaffolding, giving Trunk a dynamic of height and depth to support Waller’s compelling, visual imagination. The production also features original music and soundscore by David Meshia. Trunk is sexy, violent theatre that turns over the hard packed earth of our waking states and in the process examines the deepest secrets we carry. What Trunk written and directed by Jeremy Waller, featuring Luisa Jojic, Kathleen Pollard, Jordan Bodiguel, and Simon Driver; original music and sound design by David Mesiha; lighting design by Kyla Gardiner; set design by Edith Artner; projection design by Majid Bagheri; costume design by Nina Hirlaender‐Hinton. When April 9 – 17 8:00pm Where Box Studios; 1622 Franklin Street (1 block west of Commercial & Hastings) How Tickets are $15.00. To reserve call 778 846 8776. Who Craning Neck Theatre, for more information go to www.craningneck.org.

TYPOGRAPHIC ENTANGLEMENT (APRIL 29-30)

rayann — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 20:09:12 GMT

Come see a dance/technology experiment - and how i have spent my last 6 months ! “Typographic Entanglement” is a collaborative new media performance in which dancers interact with a character represented as projected words and letters. The movements of the dancers are tracked using computer vision and become forces influencing the movement of the type. Upcoming Shows: April 29, 2010: 6:00pm, 8:00pm April 30, 2010: 4:00pm, 6:00pm, 8:00pm Emily Carr Motion Capture Studio Vancouver, BC Admission: Free Art Direction/Project Management: Jonathan Aitken Sound/Computer Vision/Programming: Greg Corness Graphics/Programming: Ben Bogart - http://www.ekran.org/ Choreography/Performance: Kristin Carleson and Rayann Gordon

A quote (reposted from leon)

rayann — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:30:27 GMT

A young couple is led to imagine that a relationship is a box full of goodies... and that they can sit down and eat out of this box all their lives, and it will never be empty. But it is empty. There will never be anything in it unless the partners put it in there. And if they do not want it to be empty, they must put in a lot more than they are in the habit of taking out. But the young romantic who imagined it ought to be full of goodies, institutes a law suit against God and against his partner as soon as he discovers the game. He feels swindled. Yet he imagines the next box he buys will be full, even though the last one was empty. W &B Beecher