"Lifestyle" is Number One on my list of oppressive terms that I wish to disappear from the Queer lexicon, "Committed relationship" is pulling up a close second. We let the media talk about heterosexual married couples repeatedly without using this phrase, but we allow them -- and then parrot them -- in having to add it to the mention of any same-sex partnership.

I often wonder what subtext we're intending to add by having to tack on this phrase. Is it seeking unnecessary approval? Is it glossing over the sexually-inexclusive nature of many of our long-lasting partnerships? Is it trying to be superior, as if so many heteros can't possibly be committed, like those celebrities who appear to participate in nuptuals as a hobby or a publicity stunt?

I have a spouse and a partner, and we're in it for the long haul. Still, I'm likely to bludgeon anyone who feels the need to qualify our relationship as "committed," as if "partner" or "spouse" could mean otherwise.

>>Stepping off soapbox and reaching for the Midol<<

Cheers,
David