Rants of a Passionate Bear

LGBTQ Survivors of Partner Violence, SPEAK OUT! No Silence On Violence!

redhotmuslbear — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 02:37:37 GMT

Over the last three weeks I have embarked on a new volunteer project, assisting The Whitman-Walker Clinic in D.C. with the development of LGBTQ-focused resources on Intimate Partner Violence. As we perform an exhaustive literature review, we also eager to collect and publish stories from LGBTQ survivors of IPV; and I have established a blog at http://www.NoSilenceOnViolence.org for that purpose. If you are a survivor, please share your story to help end the silence. And, of course, please forward this message through all channels available to you. Peace, David Phillips

getting off the Leather treadmill

redhotmuslbear — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 01:04:54 GMT

After several weeks of reflection, I recently decided to refrain from Leather circuit events, except for one, and to focus my kink associations and play with more thought during the coming year. WHAT???!!! Miss IML???!!! Um, yeah! Think about it--for every weekend away from home at some big event strutting about and fucking other wild beasts, we're spending several hundred dollars to a couple thousand, usually on credit. One buddy whose stepping down from a title soon said the last year year has put him deep in debt keeping up with the Leather Joneses! In my case, that's money I can better use to pay for grad school, save for a new home, or put into causes I care about like LGBT domestic violence and empowering people living with HIV.

Help Free Eric Volz, Innocent American Imprisoned in Nicaragua

redhotmuslbear — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 01:02:47 GMT

From the blog of a dear friend regarding a longtime friend of hers. Original post found at: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=42955856&blogID=236061181 And on a more serious note . . . I have a friend who I've known since he was eight, his name is Eric Volz. He's a grown man now, a solid brother and the victim of injustice in Nicaragua. He has been falsely accused, and convicted of a horrible crime. Any of you in Law know how crazy it can be for Americans accused in foreign countries. This is absolutely unbelievable. Please pressure your Senators and Congressman to respond to this situation. If you follow Eric's link on this page, it will bring you to your own representatives. If you want, copy the text below or part of it and paste it in your note. Please join me in this campaign to correct this. Thanks so much! Maggie ERIC STANLEY VOLZ Imprisoned in Nicaragua FEBRUARY 25, 2007 I. The Facts: Doris Jimenez was killed Tuesday, November 21, 2006, between 11:45 am and 1:00 pm, in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua. Her body was found at about 2:00 pm inside a clothing store she owned. She was tied, strangled and asphyxiated. Doris was popular and attractive and her murder deeply unsettled this small tourist town. Eric Volz was two hours away in Managua at the time of the murder. Eric, a 27-year old American, had been living in Nicaragua for some two years. Not only were there 10 witnesses who saw him in Managua during the time of the murder, none of the physical evidence recovered from the scene linked Eric to the crime. Indeed, none of the blood, fluid, hair, or other physical evidence collected at the scene had any tie to Eric. Throughout the day of the murder Eric was in Managua at the house where he lived and worked. Eric's house in Managua served as the offices of EP Magazine -- a sustainable development and lifestyle magazine. Eric awoke there early that morning and entered the office area at around 9:15 am. The housekeeper, security guard and no fewer than five EP workers were there at the time and saw Eric. At about 10:30 am, Eric received a visit from two women interested in EP Magazine. They met with Eric until approximately 11:00 am. Around noon, Eric met with Ricardo Castillo, a well-regarded journalist and a potential contributing editor for EP Magazine. The meeting between Eric and Castillo included a telephone conference call between Eric, Castillo and a US business contact in Atlanta, Georgia, Nick Purdy. That 54-minute conference call, which ended at 1:14 pm, is supported by phone records. Nick Purdy also had digital time-stamped instant messages from Eric showing that in total the two men were engaged in intensive business communications from approximately 9:21 am until 2:07 pm. After the call with Nick Purdy, Eric, Castillo and Adam Paredes (an EP employee) had a curried fish and vegetable lunch prepared by the EP housekeeper, Martha. This lunch was witnessed by several EP colleagues. Castillo left the EP house around 2:00 pm. Eric was at the house in Managua and in the presence of 5 people when he received the news that Doris was dead. He received that news from a friend of Doris' who called his cell phone and spoke to Eric at 2:43 pm. At about that same time, yet another witness, Rossy, arrived and saw Eric at his house in Managua. At around 3:00pm, Eric rented a car to go to San Juan del Sur quickly and assist her family. Eric's own car was old and slow and he often rented a car for the one-lane trip to San Juan. The car was delivered by Hertz Rent A Car to the Managua house. Eric did not meet with the rental car staff himself, however, one of his employees brought him the rental car credit vouchers for Eric to sign. The rental car contract was printed by Hertz Rent A Car at 3:11 pm. In addition to the witnesses above, Eric's defense was also able to secure cell phone records (known as "cell site" records that show the location of the cell phone at the time a call is received or made) for Eric's cell phone which showed that Eric was using his cell phone in Managua that day. The cell site records show that Eric's cell phone was used in Managua during the time of the murder and until late afternoon when he departed for San Juan del Sur to be with Doris' family. Indeed, the first call that Eric made outside of the Managua area did not occur until 4:38 pm. II. The Arrest and Prosecution of Eric Volz: Despite the conclusive evidence placing Eric two hours away in Managua at the time of the crime in San Juan del Sur, the police issued an arrest warrant for Eric, as well three others: Armando Llanes, Nelson Lopez-Danglas and Julio Chamorro, for the murder of Doris Jimenez. These arrest warrants were based on the prosecution's first theory that Eric and Llanes, Doris' current boyfriend, went inside the store with Danglas and Chamorro - two known, petty criminals and drug users from San Juan - and raped and killed Doris. This version of events appears to have come from the unsigned "confession" of Chamorro. A few days after his arrest, Lopez-Danglas apparently "confessed" that at 1:00 pm he was outside the store and saw Eric and an unknown man inside the store. Lopez-Danglas, who at the time of his arrest had injuries to his penis and scratches on his neck, torso, forearms and hands, stated that Eric asked him to meet him at 1:00 pm in front of Doris' store and paid him 50 cordobas to move two bags into a white car. In return for this testimony against Eric, Danglas was released and all charges against him were dropped. Llanes, who is from wealthy Nicaraguan family, presented a piece of paper from a registrar's office in support of his alibi that he was registering for college classes at the time of the crime. Based on this one piece of paper, the prosecution dismissed all charges against Llanes - without any questioning of him and without securing any hair or blood samples from him. Indeed, Llanes was never even arrested despite the fact that he was charged and that a warrant was issued for his arrest. Eric and Chamorro, on the other hand, were ordered to go to trial. The prosecution moved forward in spite of the facts that: (1) no one other than Lopez-Danglas, a known criminal, claimed to have seen Eric in San Juan; (2) that the police interviewed several people who testified that Eric was in Managua at the time of the murder; and (3) that absolutely no physical evidence (blood, saliva, hair, fibers or semen) linked Eric to the crime. On the date that Eric was ordered to stand trial, there was a riot outside the courthouse in Rivas where Eric was almost killed by a street mob. The prosecution presented several witnesses at trial. Only a few had any connection to a case against Eric. Specifically, the prosecution's evidence against Eric was as follows: As to physical evidence, the prosecution called several medical examiners who testified that they reviewed the physical evidence collected at the scene (i.e., hair, fluid, and blood) and that none of their tests showed a link to Eric. For example, the medical examiners testified that a small amount of blood that was found on a sheet used to wrap the deceased was O blood type and that Eric was A type. There was also testimony that although over 100 hair samples were collected from the scene, not one could be linked to Eric. In short, there was no physical evidence connecting Eric to the crime scene. The prosecution called Gabriela Vanessa Sobalvarro, a friend of the deceased, who testified that she called Eric on his cell phone and told him that Doris was dead. The cell site records confirm that Eric was in Managua when he received her call at 2:43 pm. She testified that Eric told her that he would rent a car and go to San Juan. Doris' mother took the stand to testify that Eric's family offered to pay her $1 million to drop the charges. To be clear, Eric's family made no such offer nor do they have any such means. Indeed, the family has cashed out their savings, held benefit concerts and sought donations from friends to provide Eric a defense. In what has been nothing short of a full blown media campaign in Nicaragua against Eric, Doris' mother, in her effort to inflame the passions of the people of Rivas and San Juan, has launched a series of preposterous accusations, wholly unsupported by the facts and the evidence. The prosecution called Victor Jose Morales Gutierrez, a Hertz employee who testified that he delivered a car to Eric's EP house in Managua in the afternoon of the date of the murder. He also testified that a friend of Eric's wanted him to testify that he saw Eric at the time of car delivery although he did not. Rental car documents, however, show that Eric personally signed the credit card vouchers, and that the car was delivered after 3:00 pm – after Eric heard that Doris had died. The prosecution also relied on Chamarro's unsigned "confession" that he was in San Juan del Sur and saw Eric and Armando Llanes commit the crime. The introduction of Chamorro's unsigned confession into evidence was particularly egregious. First, because Chamorro did not testify at trial, Eric's defense was not able to cross examine him regarding that statement. Second, because Chamorro's "confession" identified Llanes as one of two other murderers, the prosecution had already obviously discredited and disregarded the "confession" when it dismissed all the charges against Llanes. Finally, by presenting an alibi witness to testify at trial that Chamorro was eating lunch at the time of the murder, Chamorro himself recanted his own statement of confession. Thus, despite the fact that Chamarro recanted, that the defense had no opportunity to cross examine Chamarro as to either version of events, and that the prosecution had already disregarded the "confession" in dismissing the charges against Llanes, Chamarro's "confession" implicating Eric and Llanes, was admitted into evidence, but only against Eric and Chamarro. Finally, the prosecution called the only witness who could offer direct trial testimony against Eric -- Lopez-Danglas, the former co-defendant now turned government witness, who testified that he saw Eric leave the store on the afternoon of the murder, and that he was outside of the store because Eric had asked him to be there. By several accounts, Danglas was visibly incoherent on the stand, and appeared to be under the influence of narcotics. He also admitted his drug use and bad character, admitting that he was a drug user and lazy "but not a liar." In short, when the prosecution rested its case only one witness placed Eric in San Juan – a drug user and former co-defendant turned government witness, Danglas. Perhaps more importantly, while no fewer than 103 individual hairs were collected at the scene there was no physical evidence linking Eric to the crime. Indeed, although the prosecution tried to argue that Eric had some scratches on the back of his shoulder (their sole argument on the physical evidence), the forensic tests conducted on the deceased's body confirmed that she had no skin or blood underneath her fingernails. This easily proved that even if Eric had scratches on the back of his shoulder there is no link between that and the murder. Further, the prosecution failed to establish that Doris had been raped, making Eric's conviction for that crime equally unsupportable. III. The Defense Case: As noted above, no less than ten witnesses were available to reaffirm their prior sworn statements that Eric was in Managua at the time of the murder. However, due to a limitation on the number of witnesses allowed to testify about this critical fact, only four witnesses (including Eric) were allowed to testify that Eric was in Managua during the time of the murder. Even so, the defense case was overwhelming. Indeed, it was conclusive. The following witnesses were permitted to testify on Eric's behalf: Ricardo Castillo, a highly regarded Nicaraguan journalist who is internationally recognized and has worked with the BBC of London and the Washington Post, among other papers and news media, testified that he was with Eric on the afternoon of the murder. Castillo, who had only recently met Eric and had no financial interest in EP Magazine, testified that he was meeting and having lunch with Eric from about noon to 2:00 pm. Nick Purdy is an American businessman and journalist who was exploring the possibility of contributing to EP Magazine. On the day of the murder, Mr. Purdy testified, and telephone records confirm, that he was on the phone with Eric and Mr. Castillo for approximately 54 minutes, from 12:19 to 1:14pm. ---again the exact time that the prosecution claims Eric was in San Juan committing the murder. Mr. Purdy also produced his instant messaging notes and testified that he and Eric were communicating for most of the morning and early afternoon. Rossy Aguello is a hairdresser who had an appointment to cut Eric's hair the afternoon of the murder. Rossy testified that she arrived at the EP house to cut Eric's hair at approximately 2:00 pm and saw Eric at the house and was also present when Hertz delivered the rental car to Eric. Finally, Eric took the stand and testified that he had been at his home in Managua throughout the day of the murder. Needless to say, Eric denied that he had any involvement in Doris' death. The testimony of the defense witnesses and the lack of evidence presented by the prosecution would not prove sufficient – residents of Rivas were congregating outside the courtroom and at one point the police fired warning shots at the crowd that clearly served to scare the judge. IV. The Court's Sentencing: During the Court's preliminary sentence on February 16, 2007, the Court barred US Embassy personnel who had traveled the two hours from Managua from the courtroom. On February 21, 2007, when the Court was to give the full basis for its ruling and sentencing, the Judge never appeared. Instead, the Judge had a clerk read her decision to those present in the Court. Although we hope to have full transcripts of the trial and the sentencing within days, this is what we know: The Court disqualified and rejected the testimony of Ricardo Castillo -- an internationally recognized journalist. Her verdict also required her to reject the sworn testimony of Nick Purdy, of Rossy Aguello and of Eric. She also refused to credit the testimony of the medical examiners that testified that none of the evidence at the scene could be linked to Eric – specifically, the evidence that the blood, fluids and hair samples collected had no connection to Eric. She refused to accept any evidence of the phone records that showed Eric was on a telephone conference call in Managua with a business associate in Atlanta. She discredited and ignored the cell site records and the instant messaging notes provided by Mr. Purdy. Instead, the judge relied on the testimony of admitted drug addict Lopez-Danglas, who had been charged with the murder and released after being given full immunity in exchange for his testimony against Eric. The judge also appears to have relied on a picture of Eric that she claimed showed he had a scratch on the back of his shoulder. She relied on this even though the physical evidence showed that the victim had no blood under her fingernails, and therefore, did not scratch her assailant, and in the face of Eric's testimony that he was scratched there as a result of carrying Doris' coffin during her funeral services. Despite the lack of any supporting physical evidence, despite the fact that ten people were with Eric in Managua when Doris was killed, despite the fact that Lopez-Danglas is a known (indeed, admitted) drug addict, despite the fact that Lopez-Danglas testified in return for full immunity after having been charged with the murder, the judge declared Eric guilty and sentenced him to thirty years.

Cover Boy of the Year photos

redhotmuslbear — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 21:20:14 GMT

I added to my album the photos from my spread as 1st Runner-Up for Metro Weekly's 2006 Cover Boy of the Year contest, As I posted previously, I'm very proud of the pics and the article that accompanied them. Not bad for a guy who had two dozen brain surgeries, spent six months getting control of his body back, a couple years that followed trying to self-destruct, and nearly a decade coping with HIV after being infected over a decade already. While I treasure this little victory for fellow Leather folks, Bears, and other Queers who don't fit the pretty images focred on us by GLBTQ media, I desperately wish that the dozens of friends lost during the Dark Years were here to share the joy.

committed relationship?

redhotmuslbear — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 23:25:24 GMT

"Lifestyle" is Number One on my list of oppressive terms that I wish to disappear from the Queer lexicon, "Committed relationship" is pulling up a close second. We let the media talk about heterosexual married couples repeatedly without using this phrase, but we allow them -- and then parrot them -- in having to add it to the mention of any same-sex partnership. I often wonder what subtext we're intending to add by having to tack on this phrase. Is it seeking unnecessary approval? Is it glossing over the sexually-inexclusive nature of many of our long-lasting partnerships? Is it trying to be superior, as if so many heteros can't possibly be committed, like those celebrities who appear to participate in nuptuals as a hobby or a publicity stunt? I have a spouse and a partner, and we're in it for the long haul. Still, I'm likely to bludgeon anyone who feels the need to qualify our relationship as "committed," as if "partner" or "spouse" could mean otherwise. >>Stepping off soapbox and reaching for the Midol<< Cheers, David

Thanks for the support, happy with the finish

redhotmuslbear — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 13:52:41 GMT

Second place is just fine with me in D.C.'s Metro Weekly Cover Boy of the Year contest. Never before has a man with as much facial and body hair placed to so high, nor has anyone over 40 ever cracked the Top Ten, much less the Top Three. I'm thrilled that so many people here and in other networks took a stand for something other than young and hairless as an object of beauty and sex appeal. I'm also very proud of the profile that accompanies my finalist photos. More than anything, I wanted to use the opportunity to connect with other Queermen on a deeper level than fabulousness in the process of putting a number of my struggles out there. http://www.metroweekly.com/feature/?ak=2456 Cheers, David

four more days to vote in Cover Boy finals

redhotmuslbear — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 22:04:28 GMT

http://www.metroweekly.com/coverboy/topten.php OMG! And I hear there are twink clone death squads out to get me now. Good thing I'll be surrounded by friends for dinner tonight at the DC Eagle, and that I'm going out of town Friday morning through Monday evening to Toronto. Hmm.... I hope they haven't arranged transborder conspiracies against the Daddy Bear!

shameless self-promotion -- help a Daddy break the twink barrier

redhotmuslbear — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 23:32:36 GMT

As some may remember, last January I had the delightful experience of being featured in D.C.'s local Gay bar rag as a "Nightlife Cover Boy," providing a proudly graying Leather alternative to usually boyish models for the magazine's Mid-Atlantic Leather weekend edition. OMG!...and I showed my biohazard tatoo and a surgical scar <gasp!> Now, the time has come for the magazine's readers and visitors to vote for "Cover Boy of the Year, and the sexy Daddy on the second row of models on their site -- ME! -- could use your help in gathering votes. He's not just sexy, he's a grad student, too. And he's involved in the health of his community and enjoys spreading the Good News of alternative sexuality. Vote early. Vote often. <EG> Tell a friend. http://www.metroweekly.com/coverboy/index2.php Thanks, David

stop messing with my gaydar!

redhotmuslbear — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 01:25:33 GMT

Between Mark Foley, Ted Haggard and Neil Patrick Harris, my aging gaydar is getting messed up badly. While I had a thing from the beginning for Doogie Howser and wanted to shag him rotten as he grew older—it’s my weakness for “dorky cute”--the appearance of homophobes-come-homos on the spectrum of sexuality has me confused. It was bad enough already that flagrantly heterosexual men at the gym take many times more mirror time than me with their moisturizers, concealers, and hair product! Now, I can’t take the hateful words spewing from one’s mouth as proof certain that I can’t have you! I’ve thought about Gay men going back to legendary system of putting a gerbil up the butt of each man we bring into our ranks, but that’s so two generations ago! Instead, let me propose that we take Foley and Haggard as archetypal and act accordingly. If you’re man who champions anti-Gay causes, we’ll automatically assume you are Gay and treat you accordingly – no questions asked! There’s plenty of drag names to go around – Georgina Bushwhacker and Karlotta Rovinskya, for starters – and lots of good campy fun to be had – “Hey, Ms. Allen! You wanna sucka mecaca tonight?”

Set my people free!

redhotmuslbear — Sun, 05 Nov 2006 23:51:45 GMT

The saddest thing about living in the National Capital Area all of my life is that I have known since childhood how duplicitous, insincere and downright evil people can be when they lust after political and economic power. I grew up with Gerald and Betty Ford as neighbors. I went to school with the sons and daughters of members of Congress and Presidential staff and appointees. My first childhood obsessive friendship -- I won't call it a 'crush' at ages 6 to 7 -- was with Richard Nixon's press secretary's daughter.... awesome behind-the-scenes tours her dad pulled off for the class! The exposure to politicians and power games screws with one's sense of normalcy in a big way. As an adult, I have had members of Congress as banking clients; and I learned from those experiences how remarkably ordinary many of them can be. I've also gone to the grocery store late at night to find myself behind Newt Gingrich, and I've found myself alone in an elevator with Satan incanate... oops, I mean Jesse Helms. However, in neither of those meetings was the presence of darkness and evil as palpable as when I wad in a room with KKKarl Rove in October 2005 and wound my way over to blow off some anger at him. Still, in the overwhelming majority of our daily contacts with political figures, we bite our tongues and, more shamefully, keep scores of 'private' secrets, especially in the LGBT community. Over twenty years ago in the Reagan administration, dozens of Gay men knew that Terry Dolan, founder of the National Conservative Political Action Committee, was a prolific cocksucker at the Cinema Follies, a Gay moviehouse and sex club. Jon Hinson had been seen cruising there and other places. Mary Foley was known to frequent certain bars, and there have been highly-placed Hill and White House staffers who have hosted regular parties featuring bareback sex and crystal meth. No one talks openly about any of this. We've had Gay bloggers threaten to out powerful people, but they don't. Why? Because they do not want to be perceived of as indiscrete, even by the party out of power. Now that one of President Bush's closest religious advisers has been caught fulfilling his long-held sexual desires and purchasing drugs, I have a proposition for the Congress--Democrats and Republicans alike-- the President, and the states: Let my people go! GLBT Americans are your fellow citizens, not political pawns. We pay tazes. We serve in your Armed Forces. We heal your sick. And we make your country run. You have sinned again us and generations of Queers past and present. Declare our unquestionable equality now!

22 years, and all I got are these rotten flashbacks

redhotmuslbear — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 01:09:15 GMT

In a few minutes the clock will tick past a magic time for me, 8:15 PM Central on October 16. At that time in 1984, I was raped at the end of a coercive, abusive, drug-crazed relationship in an event that rivals my Queer coming-out three weeks later for influence over the rest of my life. Three years before that night I was quadriplegic, weighed 132 pounds and thought I'd never be enough of anything for another man to love. Though I leanred to walk and care for myself again, I never let go of the feelings of emptiness, and I resumed college deeply bruised and still closeted. When a guy who seemed like a god took an interest me, I was quickly willing to go anything for him, including having sex with other men for money and drugs. What seemed at the time as exhilerating was, in retrospect, subconsciously suicidal--with what seemed like all of my adult friends and playmates growing sick and dieing, I was envious of those who got to be free of mortal suffering. The lines of cocaine I snorted, the MDMA I dropped, the high-risk sex and the constant verbal abuse heaped on me didn't kill me, though. And when I chose to leave the relationship, I foolishly made a private stand against my lover and oppressor, only to be overpowered and abused for the last time. That I am left with the vivid memories reminds me that I have been strong enough to survive and that I need never be a victim again.