My Blog

Is there somebody who still believes in love? I know you're out there..

RedRob — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:41:20 GMT

Today on FB, a friend asked: "Is there somebody who still believes in love? I know you're out there.." My reply (and I mean it): ------------------ love is more powerful than self, and true love will create something magically beautiful and amazing -- so amazing that in the face of our ugly human moments, we let grace and respect still wrap their spirited arms around both our self, and selves. I believe in love. I am love. You are too. Just don't believe it. Know it, accept it, and see it all around you -- it is there. Share your smile with friends, strangers, and the still tree outside your window. And you will find what you are searching for.. or it will find you.... xo

Please Help Me by VOTING for this video...

RedRob — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 06:46:45 GMT

OK.. I'm trying something out here to see where it goes... http://videocontest.ecompliments.com/index.php?vid=60 The topic: Why do some videos go Viral, and others don't? My question is this: How the heck is it that one guy will post a video on YouTube that gets MILLIONS of hits in a short period, and another person posts an equally-funny video (subjectively speaking) and it gets like 100.. or 1000? Sure.. I get that people love cats and kids (in videos) and stupid stuff. But even if I made the coolest cat video, if it didn't get past my circle of friends.. well, you get the question. The question came up because I've been fascinated with it and started doing a little "playing". - I have a decent collection of bellydance videos on my YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/candlelightvideo, and yet the most popular has under 10,000 views in a year. In contrast, I just watched another tonight that has over 7 MILLION views in 3 years. - I created a "funny wedding dance" (comes up #1 when searching youtube for 'funniest wedding celebration dance')... no worse or better than others I've seen out there... and nada... - I NEED 1,000 VOTERS to vote for my video (at http://videocontest.ecompliments.com/index.php?vid=60) by end-of-September. It's for a video contest on eCompliments.com.. is free and quick to vote. My video is called "28 Narvelous Compliments".. and I managed to cram 28 funny/strange compliments into 60 seconds. (you think that's easy?!!) It's #1 when searching YouTube for: funniest compliments, strangest compliments or narvelous compliments http://videocontest.ecompliments.com/index.php?vid=60 And yet views are only fair, and votes just aren't getting up there. Even if it wasn't the best, so what? Voting is free and people can vote for more than one... So I sit here wondering... how or where does one spread the word to help videos circulate like mad? Do I need to create the "flatulent fruit" video I thought would surely go viral? I stopped myself, cuz why make an awesome-funny awesome-crazy video, and then not win (and the company gets a million $ commercial idea for free!)? Do I need animated cats that compliment their masters? I mean .. seriously.. c'mon.. what does it take? PS if you're reading this, please vote for my video using the links above :-) (and then tell your friends) PPS OK, I know that's a cheap attempt to get you to vote... but HEY.. I really really need people to vote! So sue me for trying? I promise to give you an extra piece of dark chocolate next time we see each other!

Living alone vs. Being alone -- Perspective and the Temple Dancer

RedRob — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:29:34 GMT

Do not underestimate the incredible influence you're existance in this round has had, on those who have crossed your path. If they talk about you ("make fun" or otherwise), you are with them. And despite their knowledge, you have given them opportunities to grow. And I'll bet many have. At my temple, there is a woman we call our "Temple Dancer". She was a child fleeing WWII with her parents in Europe, grew up in "The Village" taking acting classes with the likes of Barbara Streisand, lived alone in the mountains of California with her cat, has had multiple husbands, and lives alone in subsidized housing, never having earned over $4000 any single year of her life (according to her SS statement). Lilia lives alone in her home. In her mind. With the 3, 4 or 5 injured birds which she's taken in from outside, who live freely to fly around her mostly-furniture-free apartment. I suspect some people think she's crazy. The Crazy Bird Lady. Some might avoid her because of her uniqueness. And yet in others, she has touched their hearts and become an inspiration. At age 72 now, she attends services every Friday and Saturday, behind the last row of seated worshippers, standing in the center, moving fluidly motion-inspired by prayer, with prayer, music, sound, feeling -- energy. When there is a bar mitzvah, children present quickly notice her -- they are tickled. Some parents probably "try not to look." Others think she was hired as entertainment. And then there are the "seniors" in our community who watch her in awe -- WOW. She is so youthful -- so mobile -- so expressive. I adore Lilia. Indeed she is inspiration. And no doubt, so are you. Be well my friend, with your love and loves until such time as your spirit has had enough. And until then -- keep being YOU.

The base is so much more than what stands above it

RedRob — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 20:38:45 GMT

When in NJ shooting Rakkasah East this past September, m'wife took m'daughter to see the Statue of Liberty. I learned a whole lotta trivia about lady liberty that evening :-) I think one bit of trivia that stood out for me the most was that the Statue weighs 156 tons (about 78 two-ton cars), while the base it stands on weighs 27,000 tons (about 13,500 cars). HOLY CANOLI batman! It makes you think about how much needs to go out the foundation of something, so that what's built above it can last a long... long... time, eh? (either that or there's a top-secret spy lore underneath the statue with lots of rocketships and cool stuff!) (you thought I was getting all "deep" there for a second, didn't you! <insert evil laugh here>)

Oh DEER!

RedRob — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 05:53:22 GMT

Going to bed the other night/morning I looked out into my snow-covered back yard lit by moonlight, to see silhouettes of three deer out there.. one was looking for food under my bird feeder, the other was just staring at a tree and the 3rd slowing approaching those two. I stood there watching for what seemed like an infinite moment in time until they walked off... Something so simple and yet I was tickled, calmed, and just loving being in that moment. :-)

Quote of the day.... sometimes kids just get carried away

RedRob — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:36:26 GMT

My daughter just got home from school and was so excited about her day, and sharing it with her mom downstairs. I hear her say she didn't wear her coat home... rumble rumble... mom asks "what's in your coat?!" and my daughter replied "rocks -- I collected them during the day today!" 1 minute later I hear bang.. bang... bounce.. knock.. roll... as the rocks tumbled across the kitchen floor. E! cried mom.... to which E replied "sorry Mom. sometimes kids just get carried away!" I think we all ought to get carried away as often as we can. :-)

Preying Mantis with an A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

RedRob — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:43:31 GMT

In the Spring, we purchased a preying mantis "kit" for E's preschool class.. well, school ended and the egg sack didn't hatch yet... so we took it home. A few weeks later, we had like 150 itsy-bitsy stick-like things on the edge of the cage (a net and clear mylar enclosure)! We let most of them into the garden and kept 15. Today, I have one left. I'm guessing it's a "she" because I once read that the females will eat any males (and we had them all in one home most of the time). She has grown from that tiny 1/4" brown line into a 3" MOMMA with an ATTITUDE. Did you know that preying mantis are among the few insects with a segmented head that can look in all directions (like humans?!) Did you know that they metamorphasize several times throughout their lives (overnight pretty much, shedding their old shell), and apparently grow WINGS in their later stages?! After the last change I noticed the back side looking very different... BEAUTIFUL bronze coloring with a green lining.. almost looked like a wing?? Sure enough, I decided to take it out the other day and VOILA... it *WAS* a wing! They use the wings not to fly, but to coast down from trees. MY Preying Mantis has an attitude... she climbed this artificial tree I have and was hanging upside down, completely unwilling to let go and go back into her cage. When I tried lifting her off, she lashed at me with both hands (they have little pricklies on them), then stuck her head high in the air, flared her wings and gave me SERIOUS attitude. If she were a cat, she would have hissed and spit! Ultimately, I won the battle... but... WOW..... :-) (I flipped the pic. so it's easier to see... but she was upside down actually) (if it's too dark, let me know and I'll try lightening it.. looks good on LCD screens but some CRTs don't show it so well) PS I can't upload the pic?! Arg.. telling me "Please upload a valid image file."

Leon Redbone is smooooth...

RedRob — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:20:57 GMT

Went to see a Leon Redbone concert last night at the Tralf... before yesterday I had no idea who he was.. what a HOOT! Soooo smooth, and a very funny stage presence.. great musicianship all around and a good time had by all :-) He's kind of blues, jazz, ... and has been around for a gazzilion years... Oh.. and I had the first person ever say to me that she didn't like "sex with the captain"... I didn't take it personally though (someone else made it) :-)

Transformation Phase II

RedRob — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 02:28:04 GMT

Everything in our lives comes and goes like the tides of the seas, the phases of the moon. Birtth and death. Happy days and those less cheerful. Optimism and Pessimism. Regardless of the phase we put on, when the Elderberry Wine kicks in, you start to ponder the signs around you, and the cycles in your life. A year ago (give or two months in both directions) I was begain my exciting journey. Lech Lecha. I left 13+ years of martial arts training, and for why I did not know. 3 weeks later my job downsized me, and I was relieved to have the opportunity to work towards a more compassionate empathetic place in this universe. I met some great spirits, and guides along my way. I attended ritual, have floated beyond the physics of my body to the ethereal (no, not drug induced!), and received gifts of friendship, hope, understanding, and gifts of protective energy. I opened up and exposed my relationship to truth, in search of a more honest and fitting romance. The dream. The love. The freedom to be. So here I am. There you are. We. We each are in our transformation.. on our journey. Where are you going? Do you actually think your destination is how you envision it today? Maybe. Probably not.. not exactly at least. Transformation Phase II. So here I am.. asking some of the same questions as a year ago. The same person. Some more clarity in my next steps. And still disclarity in others. But something is changing again. I have begun losing things... .. my checkbook and ATM card a few months ago... .. this week... a very special hat which spoke to me at many levels.. very much, a perfect match. I know.. it's "just a hat." But it represented more, and how it made me feel when I wore it, is indescribable. .. this week... a leopard jasper necklace I was gifted for protection.. has vanished. Bewidered I am.. just this past Wed. I had it, as a friend commented on it... and it is not to be seen. I only take it off for sleep and shower... and yet I vaguely recall also removing it recently to "protect *it*" Where are they? Why am I losing them? What is the message? Do I no longer need protection? Is it time to let change back in, and move forward on my journey? And the hat... is it time to define myself and not be defined, to shed anybody's image of who I might be, to show just how vibrant my colors can be, how high I can fly, and how much I have to give? Am I losing the icons which served to protect and embrace, that maybe were also serving unintentionally to constrict? I have friends that began their transformations before mine.. I wonder if they had similar annual epiphanies, or moments of loss, creating moments of growth? I've started re-paying attention to this bit of litergy... it seems to speak mounds of truth... nothing and everything... ---- BECOMING Once or twice in a lifetime A man or woman may choose A radical leaving, having heard Lech lecha — Go forth. God disturbs us toward our destiny By hard events And by freedom's now urgent voice Which explode and confirm who we are. We don't like leaving, But God loves becoming. by Rabbi Norman Hirsh's

Changed... for good - Wicked

RedRob — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:38:56 GMT

In 2006 I sang in a cabaret show (which I do every year). This show was the final performance I had with Cantor David Goldstein, an incredibly talented musician and vocalist who held high standards for himself and inspired others to grow musically and creatively... David's in Chicago now, but his friendship and mentorship has very deep roots in everyone he touched, myself included. As a parting tribute to David, two of the woman sang the closing song from the musical "Wicked" that says "because I knew you... I have been changed... for good." I saw WICKED this past Wednesday... what a FUN show.. and WOW.. the woman who played Elphaba had such an INCREDIBLE voice.. ah.. what a gift to have such a voice, and no doubt climb inside the soul of adouring fans and theatre-goers. Anyhow.. reminded of the Cabaret show, I've uploaded that one tune to YouTube for all to enjoy... Cheers to you all, :-) Rob http://youtube.com/watch?v=sIXdrx2tZ74 (click "watch in high quality" if you want slightly better output))

the GREAT Blue HERON

RedRob — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 03:38:35 GMT

Spent the July 4th weekend at the Great Blue Heron music festival... we volunteered this year so we got in a day early (yay!) .. had a full day to chill before the fest began, which was nice. For the most part, it was an AMAZING time for me.. and I got to do an all-nighter, a prelude for the upcoming Starwood festival. Only less-than-great parts were (a) didn't get to buy my 5YO daughter a new tie-dye dress (our tradition) and (b) felt like my wife and I barely connected... not that I had expectations differently... but still... Anyhow, here's the short of the long from little notes I jotted down upon return: Packing--- packed 50% too much, glad to have options.. so much for "packing light" LOL arriving early... what a great thing! co-camped with a bunch of friends we usually camp with, and we had a great big spot we made our haven away from home... :-) sex with the captain... sharing love with friends... I have this drink I served recently called "sex with the captain".. and even made up an awesome pirate button reading "I had sex with the captain".. brought them both to GBH and shared the love with friends.. many many many folk thanked me for the love... I sooo enjoy bringing people happiness... Jim Donovan's drum the ecstatic... I love what Jim does. Look forward to his performance and workshop each year.. missed his workshop at GBH since I was sleeping/recovering Sunday morning from a WAY good time Sat. night... so hopefully I'll catch him/it at SW in a few weeks. Big Leg Emma... such smooth sounding music.. such raw talent. Among many great bands there, these guys are up there in my favorites collection :-) Shabbat with friends... an annual tradition.. wherever I go, I love sharing Shabbat with friends.. candles.. wine. (70% honey mead, 30% strawberry wine... mmmmm.....), Challah, and blessing expressing our gratitude. Real special when it's under the stars... loud horn at 7:30am... a "funny" neighbor decided to blow a cow's horn fitted with a trumpet mouthpiece at 7:30 to wake the camp... ggrrrrrr.... neighbors.. blue tarp.. tequilla bar... Sat. afternoon I went back to the camp to pick up another bag of my toys (bangy and blowy percussive things) to bring to my work shift at the Cafe that night, and walked through several neighboring campsites to make friends.... FUN people! Much music from them in the AM.. and during this little walk they invited me to join them in a few communal treats.. including.. a TEQUILLA SHOT at their tequilla bar! :-) Of course, I shared sex with the captain no the way back up... Volunteer shift.... I worked the 10pm-4am shift at the cafe in the woods... what a BLAST! We ended up staying open until the AM shift because it was too much fun, energy, etc. ... serving others.. I loved it. ... helping others.. I loved it. One gal I befriended (Valerie) was super-cold... so I comp'd her some coffee. she said it "made her night".. such a simple gesture, so well received. THIS is life. ... helping others. the stolen drum being recovered. A drum disappeared around 6am. Someone thought they saw who walked away with it. The BF of Valerie chased him down and within 10 minutes the suspect was apprehended by security. 10 minutes later, the drum was recovered from his campsite. Good Karma is perpetual... :-) ... limbo and the broomstick... 4:30am a gal walks into the cafe asking "hey, got a broomstick to play Limbo"? So I become the initial co-limbonator... and after over 1.5 hrs of drumming, whistling, banging and limboing, I declared the GBH first official Cafe Limbo King & Queens (and we recorded it all on paper :-) These two were AMAZING.. he was a tall and flexible gumby IMO, and she was a beautiful shimmying balance from the heavens.. don't know how they did what they did.. but surely deserved the titles! Kudos to the gal who started this whole Limbo thing that night.. oh.. and my title "percussionist/MC"... I think my whistles and energy helped bring it up at times it started going down... ... building the energy... the drumming dancing and madness.. Some guy walks in around 2:30am after yelling "Would you 3 Shut the F*** up!" He apparently was yelling at the few drummers outside who he thought weren't sounding so good. So I pulled out my dumbek and a bunch of shakers and we started bouncing and drumming and jumping and before you know it, dancers were coming INSIDE the cafe to get their groove on... so wonderful to be AWAKE at 2:30AM with other ZANY WACKY PEOPLE (OK, many were drunk/wasted/stoned probably... not me though... mine was a natural high)... so wonderful to let my self fly.. and help lift others off the ground. ... sharing my toys... seeing other friends... colleen and ?bill?, ken and co, etc. ... got to see old friends.. was nice hanging with them all. hats... lots and lots of hats... I only wore three of my hats, but probably packed like 6 or 7 head coverings from pirates to kipot, to hats. An old friend complimented me on a hat I was wearing, which my friend Garon picked out for me last September... I love wearing this hat... it feels so very much ... me... and also reminds me of the thoughtfulness that went into picking it out. phils grill... mmm.... nothing more to say here. Well, great food.. and mostly great people.. one tall skinny guy apparently was putting out some bad vibes to many people (including me)... I don't think he's long-destined to keep working for Phil. juggling sticks.. yay! A vendor was setup just OUTSIDE the KIDS AREA... with tons of demo juggling sticks... they sold a TON no doubt... an *excellent* location.... and I bought a pair too.. always wanted to try this out. Fun! And they are purple, of course.. I'll give you one guess who picked them out.... ? sleeping in and fear of missing the parade... I slept in Sunday AM .. crashed around 8:30am... woke at 1:45 and thought my daughter was in a parade at 2pm... I RAN up there just to discover after much running around she wasn't even in the thing, and was still having fun playing at the "beach" with a friend... *sigh* packed up and giving flowers to the mermade... thunder tube, my space, our space.... after being all packed Sun. evening we walked back up to "town" (the stage/vendor area) to do some shopping and eating. Sadly, the vendors we wanted to peruse were already CLOSED/PACKED! :-( Walking up, we gave some fresh flowers to the mermade in the pond. I brought my "thunder tube".. I like to shake up and create my own musical energy when I walk sometimes... and just like last year, this aggrevated my wife as we walked. She asked me to stop. I did. What's the big deal to stop, right? I dunno... but what's the big deal? Is it a big deal? How many small things add up to one big deal? coming home... uneventful.. a bit hard of a drive but we were happy to be home. first shower... what is to be said about this? I liked the scruff look... and was amused by the color of my towel that evening when I splashed water on my face and rubbed it on my bath towel... (hint: it was the color of these letters :-) Monday's shower felt really Really good ! Well, that's about it... lots of pix I could post.. one day maybe I'll add some more.. My daughter starts camp tomorrow... :-) should be fun.. Next up... Starwood!

Nuts in the City

RedRob — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:58:13 GMT

So I stopped by my buddies in "the city" on the way back from Rakkasah (sorry we couldn't meet up Ro!).... and all I can say is "Only in Manhattan".... here's a short recap ... - car breaks down in garage in entrance. I go to push it out with my buddy and they block the car and say "that'll be $30" or you can't leave... call the police... we leave no problem... LOL - we're about to push-start the car and some guy in a wheelchair (homeless) is beggin' for money next to us in the streets... he sees we're about to push the car and he JUMPS out of his wheelchair and starts pushing with us yelling "go.. go.. go... push.. POP IT.. POP IT"... we turn the corner he's still running.. the car starts.. he gives a high five ... "YEAH!".. to frickin' funny... his wheelchair is still two blocks back and around... ONLY IN NYC - a COOL vintage bike store... new and opening in the village .. "Landmark Vintage Bike".. gotta go check it out if you like bikes... friend's friend.. - Tamara and Tamara... Tomomi... Jiin... Chung... Sean... FUN NIGHT... and Max Fish... fuckin' Cowboy.. what a hoot... spilled glass... refreshed bears for the two gals who lost their drinks and one calls me "a saint" because I bought them the drinks and didn't notice her friend's skin-tight dress... too funny. Happy to be coming home.. hope the car starts :-)

Magic... and opportunity

RedRob — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:33:59 GMT

I once wrote an article for my martial arts school about "the Magic and Mystique of martial arts training". I think it was more about life.... I'm so psyched.... I'm flying out to Tribal Fest in Sebestopol Fri-Sun.. YEAH! What started as an idea morphed entirely, but thankfully the beautiful and talented dancers there appreciate the art of videography enough to say "YES! I'm going"... OK.. so it'll be in-and-out... short and quick... would stay longer but there are still too many "if's"... and it's going to be a *blast* I hear this festival is totally awesome (well, especially if you're a bellydancer, which I'm not)... so looking forward to just getting away for two days and meeting the wonderful and wacky... and the magic... calls are coming in like magic... I know I've been planting many seeds... but so exciting to see things slowly unfold... and to think that my vision for this next part of my career still is just in its infancy of realization.... it's so wonderful to see the connections and deposits growing... the people, places, opportunities... ahhh... magic. so much of it still to discover and unfold... it's not over by any means... Oh yeah.. and I shaved half my face yesterday for "Odd Day" at my daughter's school... no-one notices of course, but it's preeeeety wacky! (and yes, I'm wearing a tie... don't ask) :-) A good day.... exciting... stressful... wonderful all the same!

Animal Testing

RedRob — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 02:32:29 GMT

I wonder if a book like this would help put "animal testing" into perspective for High School kids?

Pregnant Moments

RedRob — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 20:56:18 GMT

Precious Soul, You Bring to our World Your Holy Spirit. And grace my life from the inside out. How Glorious is this miracle called Life! That my Heart should beat so heavy, My Joy Overflowing, Wholeness In my Being. To Carry You is my Honor and Nurture You with Loving & Guidance is my Will. I Lay Awake Wondering Who You Are. Your Strength grows daily -- I feel you moving. You must be preparing for your day; I know I Am. You are my Child I am Your Friend. I will teach you to Be, And You Will. Grow and Grow our Oneness will never end. And I will forever cherish these pregnant moment. To be pregnant is to carry a spark of the Divine.

two of hearts -- what suits you?

RedRob — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 20:37:49 GMT

symbols abound around us.. shapes, spirals, seeing faces and familiar figures. and the heart. one of those symbols that we so understand to associate with love... and I have been seeing these symbols all around. the shape of a rock. a shadow. an apple. (see pic) Where, or when, in your life, do you see "the heart"?

Where my heart lies

RedRob — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 05:37:23 GMT

How would you interpret this picture? (self portrait at Delaware Park)

Too much light?

RedRob — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 05:32:34 GMT

In too much light, can we ever see our true colors (this leaf is not black)?

Songs about rainbows...

RedRob — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 05:50:58 GMT

http://wnyonline.com/media/rainbowconnection1_64.wma A few years ago, while singing at a Cabaret show, I had Kermit the Frog (a puppet) sing on my behalf ("It's only a Paper Moon"). To "warm up" he did the beginning of "Why are there so many songs about rainbows?" -- was cute and a real crowd pleaser. Don't know why, but for some reason the song got stuck in my head today while driving around before and after a second visit to a career counselor. Funny thing about counselors... I talk 90% of the time LOL... good thing this one is no-cost :-) So here's how I felt this morning. Pretty mellow, nothing fancy, "natural voice" (vs. "performance").. may need headphones or a little volume to really hear. http://wnyonline.com/media/rainbowconnection1_64.wma FWIW, it was a good feeling, not a bad one. A relatively nice day, and a wonderful time with my daughter, once again. Pic: Beaver Meadow trail, approaching the "magic hour"

Red Hot Tamales -- healing for the Children

RedRob — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 01:10:08 GMT

This weekend I volunteered for an organization that helps children heal after the loss of a loved one. This event was a retreat at a beautiful lakefront campground and beach, exhibiting magnificent sunsets, filled with many special moments for both the children, volunteers and staff members. I'm so very thankful/lucky to have had the universe land this volunteer opportunity upon my path. It was my first volunteer experience of this kind, and thankfully any initial anxiety I felt quickly faded away after meeting friendly faces and going through our "icebreaker" Fri. night (which included 3 songs... a "relaxation" song [modern 'somewhere over the rainbow', a dance-then-freeze silly song, and then a song where an inner circle frequently rotated so we danced with/met each other [I think I was the few really dancin' w/my partners :-) ]. Despite feeling like I wasn't "doing enough" when I was there, I had enough people thank me for my "additions" that I suppose I should believe them... some gratifying comments included: "you're so wonderful with the kids" "the kids just naturally gravitate and look up to you" "you should consider being a music teacher" "it was very generous of you to let the kids keep those eggs" "your presence was a positive addition to their experience" "I hope you come back next year" "you're wacky!" "you're the best counselor ever!" The cabin I slept in was cold (the only unheated cabin), but despite my limited sleep I felt completely rested and wonderful in the AM. :-) I love life... In my next incarnation (coming soon to a theatre near you) I think I'll be a social worker, teacher, musician, or something related to the arts or giving to people in a "real" way. -------- Some gratifying moments..... ----- - seeing the most beautiful sunsets - knowing there's such a wonderful beach dedicated to helping to give children, often handicapped, a magical life experience - helping a child feel comfortable upon arrival by giving a shaker-egg and offering my friendship - watching a boy "come out of his shell" and letting his self, shine. he was one of our group's (of 8) "featured dancers" to our team theme-cheer/chant. - helping guide our team as they worked together to create a name, invent a cheer/chant, and build pride by performing it (and being the best team/chant there IMO :-) We were "the red team".... Name: The Red Hot Tamales Chant: RED. HOT. BLAZIN' ON FIRE. WE'RE THE RED HOT TAMALES AND WE NEVER GET TIRED. <repeat, adding some solo break-dancin' moves after 2 repetitions> Shake eggs, clap, and groove while repeating. - watching kids establish friendships - listening to kids open up with other kids about their losses. in their daily lives, they may not have the chance to really express how they're feeling, with the loss of their dads, moms, grandparents, brothers, sisters. but here, they know they were not alone -- it was safe to share, and express. they learned from each other. they were not alone. - the play -- lots of time to play, creatively and physically... kickball, basketball, football, steal-the-bacon, a way-cool playground... woo hoo! it's been a while since I did that stuff... so much fun! - quiet walk in the woods, and on the beach, alone with the Universe, myself, God, at midnight while the rest of the camp slept. And spiritually, in that moment, I was also with You. - bringing music to my group (shaker-eggs).. they LOVED them, and they became a big part of their day... gave them something to do as a group, build group identity, but also something to do by themselves. One kid was so upset when he lost his egg (it was replaced)... we sang, shook, boogied. :-) Sat. night bonfire drumming.. all my toys became part of the bigger pool of bangies and shakies.. everyone had fun, and I know my drums will be better off from the energy they exchanged :-) - talking with Aaron about his life and relationships... and about the communication/expectations/relationship problems caused by e-mail and txt-msg communications (will post a RW thread on this) - "the magic door" -- one of the magic words: Allicapizza! - Connections - Dirt pudding :-) and teaching kids the "secret" about Gummmy Bears (little known fact I discovered years ago: you can lick the back of a gummy bear and it'll stick to anything!) - shirt-signing at the end. lots of new memories.. lots of these kids never experience this kind of thing in their daily lives.. the playing, the friends, the safe environment to talk and share with others in the same situation, the LOVE and caring, and even the Food. and the Amazing take-home bag of "stuff" (blankets, stuffed animal friends, things they made, lots lots more). All for $15. My "rose" drawing became a sought-after shirt-emblem :-).. only topped by my self-portrait drawing (with the kitty-hat :-)! -------- Some symbolic ritual..... ----- first thing: putting the names of the lost loved ones on a cloud or sun, and pinning to a memory quilt writing a painful emotion or regret on a blown-out eggshell (I helped blow eggs), then crushing it. writing on a colorful helium balloon (not sure if it was a name, a hurt, or what... I wasn't part of the creation event), then us all releasing them at the same time on the beach, after group singing "lean on me". watching them fly higher and higher and higher. very powerful. PS they were biodegradable balloons closing circle: family prayer. frank acknowledgement of our losses. removal of the names from the quilt, reading out loud who was being remembered. Most just said "my dad", "for my grandma", etc. One kid said "my daddy died. his name was ABC." This kid was special.. very sweet.. latched onto me immediately upon arrival. We heard one child say "WOW. I lost my grandma.. but THAT girl over their lost her MOMMY. And she's a lot younger than me.".. the realization of someone else's loss, the compassionate connection. Wow. -------- Some awesome adults: ----- Rita... loved the walk into the treehouse -- the most INCREDIBLE treehouse in the world. Wheelchair accessible, probably could hold 30 easily, with a balcony and sun-peak, overlooking the lake. Thank you! Joe and MaryEllen... calm newliweds. You guys are too cool... Mark... way to go... first time too! Aaron... You lead one MEAN game of poker! Good thing da' gangsta's didn't bust the game :-) Loved the talk on the beach... nice to hear about some common behaviors between too guys... hope your recent love works out (stay away from those evil e-mails and txts! :-) Wendee... love your smile... so familiar so familiar.. just when I was trying to escape, there you are. Loved hearing about the/your work of/as a social worker.. inspiring (thanks for sharing). Best of luck with your May wedding! Nichole... 2nd grade teacher... nice talking too.. teachers and social worker and nurses.. what beautiful souls. Anne... enjoyed bein' on the Red team with you.. a real hoot! Allison... organized this whole thing... holy COW! Great job. Jim... thankful for connecting with you. Your original guitar songs rock, and it was way fun jammin' with you Sat. night! -------- Some bumper-sticker quotes/thoughts: ----- 1) Don't Think. Believe. (quote) 2) Make. Love. Happen. (thought) 3) Today, in this age where we have "better communication" via cell-phones, are we not more fearful a society with higher expectations of "being connected" (e.g. our kids *should* call us because they *can* call us)? At age 13 I took a train ride with a friend to a Mets game.. just the two of us. In the suburbs today, who would let their kid do this?! Why are we so much more afraid? (thought)

Temptation by my dream...

RedRob — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 15:04:17 GMT

I see your smile wherever I go. Resist the call Resist the fall Temptation by my dream. Teased by your double, your twin Far from my mind you are "supposed" to be gone Cut off for my self to learn, to grow. I know. I know. But here you are again. I see your smile wherever I go.

Horizon Beauty

RedRob — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 14:52:03 GMT

Subtle Light. Subtle Light. Sweet blues to red, firey sun setting to greet the night. Almost dark Subtle glow Horizon Beauty let me go. Rest. Be Still. I am Coming.

Selfish Selflessness

RedRob — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 20:34:43 GMT

Today Two weeks. My day. Too weak. Tweak. Two. Eek! Tomorrow. Self. Searching. Me. Found. Two weeks. Today. My self.. Two days. Tomorrow. One. Self. ----------------------- It is amazing what can happen in two weeks… in two days… two hours… two minutes. One moment you’re hopeful that tomorrow will deliver the answers to your questions. Tomorrow delivers, but not the answers; Tomorrow you discover the real questions. And some answers. And so the journey continues. Selfless. Selfish. Selfless Selfish Shellfish. She sells selfish by the she saw. And if you’re reading this--- consider yourself HUGGED with a big warm comforting embrace. We may not be near, but we’re closer than you realize. (spirits in the mirror are closer than they appear) Have an awesome day! :-) PS the image is original RR

A New Day

RedRob — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 11:43:46 GMT

Quietude Heartbeat Bedazzling Wonder My eyes open to a new day. Colorful Pink Gentle Blue Potential Soon the sun will arise. Gentle Breeze. Cool. Warm. Together. Melodic Chimes. Soothing. Singing Bearly Awake. Quietude. Breath. Crickets. Breath. Breeze. A blue jay. A New Day. ------------ I woke up this morning and was thankful for the morning sky, air, peacefulness of the sunrise. Photo is outside my bedroom window... hardly does the moment justice. I think the words do better. :-) RR

Earth Water Air Fire

RedRob — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:49:38 GMT

She is youth, she is mature. She is flirty and she is wise. She is desired. She is hidden. She is the Universe. She speaks what needs to be heard. She keeps her guard high. She gives but is cautious to receive. She is Beauty. She is compassionate. She is deep. She is strong. She is scared. Learned independence through solitude. She is diverse. She is learned and she is learning. She is Art. She is Passion. She is growing. She is healing and she heals. She dances with the Spirits. She is a dancing spirit. A silent scream. She is gentle. She is giving. She is light. She is dark. She is loved and respected. She is feared. A child. A mother. The wind. A friend. Most thankfully. She is. --RR