I'm posting this as a resource for anyone who is wondering if the relationship they are in is a healthy one. Please feel free to pass it on...

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is threatening behavior that seeks to control and exercise power over another. This behavior can include one or all of the following:

Emotional abuse
Psychological abuse
Sexual abuse
Verbal abuse
Physical abuse
Financial abuse
Threats of abuse or violence to children or pets

Domestic violence is never the fault of the victim. Abuse is always the responsibility and choice of the abuser. Violence is learned behavior, which can be unlearned with education, counseling, and the will to make non-violent choices.

Violence Affects Children

It is parents’ responsibility to make certain their children are safe. Although parents often believe they can hide domestic violence from their children, even if children do not see a beating, they hear the screams, see the bruises, or feel the fear.

Witnessing violence is stressful and it puts children of all ages at risk for long-term physical, mental health and behavioral problems. Children who grow up in a violent home are more likely to become abusers or victims of domestic violence as adults.

Many people stay in abusive relationships because of their children. Children need to be safe. Keeping children in a violent home teaches them the cycle of violence and patterns of behavior, values, and attitudes that perpetuate the cycle of violence.

Are You in an Abusive Relationship?

Does the person you love:

Threaten to hurt you, your children, or pets?
Say it’s your fault if she or he hits you, and then promise it won’t happen again (but it does)?
Put you down in front of others or keep you from doing things you want to do, including contacting family or friends?
Make you feel like “there is no way out” of your relationship?
Throw you down, push, hit, pinch, choke, kick or slap you?
Force you to have sex when you don’t want to?
Treat you well in front of others but say degrading things to you in private?

Whether you are a woman or a man, and regardless of your economic status, educational background, age, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion or beliefs, just one “yes” answer to any of these questions means you are involved in an abusive relationship. If so, you are not alone and you have choices. No one deserves to be abused. You have the right to a safe, non-violent relationship.

Positive Dating & Intimate Relationships

These are the hallmarks for healthy dating and intimate relationships:

Non-threatening behavior.
Honesty and personal accountability for one’s actions.
Negotiating and fairness.
Communicating openly, truthfully and compassionately.
Making decisions together in a spirit of fairness.
Respect, understanding, being non-judgmental.
Trust in and support for one another.

Safety Plan

Always call 911 if you are in danger.
Call the National 24-Hour DV Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 to discuss with an Advocate what you can do to prepare to leave, especially how to get your children and pets to a safe place before you leave.
Keep an overnight bag packed with money, change of clothes, and important documents (driver’s license, Social Security card, birth certificates, bank account information, pink slip for your vehicle, immigration papers) for yourself and your children. Keep it in a secret place or at a friend’s.
When you leave, make certain your partner is at work or that your partner will be gone for at least two hours. It is always unsafe to tell your partner you are leaving and when.

www.ndvh.org/ national dv hotline webpage

loveisrespect.org/ national teen dating violence webpage

Always be careful about what pages you visit on a computer that your abuser has access to, and get to a safe place before calling the hotline. Connect yourself with local resources, you are not alone. Take a stand, but don't be stupid - be safe, get help. peace...

read a book

www.youtube.com/watch

seriously. the. best. rap. song. ever.

check it!

You are now in control of your life. You see, the ego is never in control. The ego is controlled by wishes for comfort and convenience on the part of the body, by demands of the mind, and by outbursts of the emotions. But the higher nature controls the body and the mind and the emotions. I can say to my body, "Lie down there on that cement floor and go to sleep," and it obeys. I can say to my mind, "Shut out everything else and concentrate on this job before you," and it's obedient. I can say to my emotions, "Be still, even in the face of this terrible situation," and they are still. It's a different way of living. The philosopher Thoreau wrote: If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps he hears a different drummer. And now you are following a different drummer--the higher nature instead of the lower.

- Peace Pilgrim en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peace_Pilgrim


Invoke yourself as the source
Merging with the whole entire universe

- Dakini, The Goddess Alchemy Project


finding inspiration everywhere
dealing with the mundane
creating fun to share
and feeling so very
proud
my heart swells
eyes dampen
and i open
deepening into the very
center
arms encompassing
everyone
all
of
u
sweet fine humans
gracefully navigating
life
as you remember
who you are
and why you are
intending
that you will see
yourself
as you touch those around you
as you move forth in strength
fill yourself
with what you love
and then give it away
to everyone you see
even the ones who try
to hide
because they might need it most
reflect what you want to increase
focus on the shiny bits
and polish the dull
until you fair glow
and know
you
are
loved

- me

well, I'm not exactly sure where to start

everything is shifting

I swirl around myself

like tides

the rock that is my center

the me i know

has changed beyond recognition

and yet I feel the same

its only the appearance

the habits

the behavior that is different

No longer willing to react

to allow some other song

to dictate my dance

I initiate

and wait

Watching myself with kinder eyes

i see this me

and i know her

I know her heart

of this i am certain

She feels so deeply

she used to wonder if she might crack in half

but now

no need to hold it all at once

she opens

shifting

and flows to a depth

that is higher than any she's known

Anchored in this tide

she is the wind

impossible to hold

difficult to see

but felt

everywhere

someone just sent me this, and I wanted to share...

video.google.com/videoplay

it's the hubble deep field...commentary's a tad bit snarky, but fun nonetheless

enjoy!