this is a cut and paste of a comment i posted on Jahla's blog about sexiness and tribal gatherings...
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my 2 cents

i have a similar feeling about most "tribal" gatherings i go to in (Ont and BC) witnessing the strong emphasis on "sexiness"...

nowadays i reject the shallow superficial concern about our physical appearance and de-sanctifying our sacred sexuality... in the guise of being "liberal" and "countering conservativism / puritanism"...

i can be modest and be seen as sexy. but i dont wish to go out with an interest or intention to be seen as sexy. if others percieve me as sexy is not in my control.

when i was younger i did want to be seen as sexy and often dressed in a way that i thought would bring about that perception from others. feeling like i was seen as sexy made me feel powerful and valuable and loved.

now it is not important to me for others to want to have sex with me. isnt that what looking sexy means is happening?

now i am more mature. i also have persued my spiritual growth and have more dedication to meditation and being a student of a Zen Master. My Master has taught me many ideas about higher mindedness and about sexuality. i am grateful that my path has been brought where it has.

i can respect and honour my sacred sexuality and still eminate beauty. beauty is not the same as sexy. someone can be both or either. they mean differnt things.

i am beautiful. that beauty comes from within. it is the beauty of my spirit shining thru.

i am constantly reminded that outward physical beauty is an illusion. it is nothing. it is a test for us to see past everyone's outer appearance and see into each others' souls instead.

when we see and respect inner beauty - that can lead to being attracted to another and that may lead to sharing intimate exchanges and maybe sex.

thats just a bit of what i think.