6 feet of white feathered boa and a spool of red thread later, I managed to trim my Who-dress in time. The next time I think a dress would be improved by hand-stiching 6 feet of boa to it, someone whack me upside of the head with fruitcake.



Now I must bedazzle and befeather the hat. BOING!

Here is what I learned while spending nearly 86% of my week in Nevada:



- Crabs do not make good gamblers, but my boyfriend is an exceptional sport for carrying around my GINORMOUS crab with adjustable eye stems when my hands grew weary.



- The problem with Smooth Jazz is that guitars should never pretend to be horns.



- It costs strippers more money to walk in the door of a strip club to work than the door cover for a standard patron. I also learned that this is technically against law but is still the standard.



- I am woefully, painfully tired of burlesque. There. I said it. Ariel dancers, hoola hoops, drag queen mcs, tiny breasted naked women. Over it.



- Prom really is wasted on the young.



- When you walk into an SOA tradeshow of a thousand, as a women, you are already HAWT, just for showing up. You might as well have the gelato. And when you walk into an SOA tradeshow with a rose and JBF hair and a smile, you are a rockstar.



- Bonnie Parker was only 4'11" and 90 lbs. Quite a little powerhouse of beauty and nastiness in that little frame.



- My body prefers sea level.

Today we discussed having Hawaiian BBQ, but after much debate on the health concerns of that much fried meat and carb and which of the three Hawaiian BBQs within office distance had the best pork ribs, we scrapped it all and drove over to the Pho place.



I usually order bun with grilled shrimp, but I was craving broth. So I ordered the chicken pho and filled it with fresh cilantro, lime, jalapenos and a little rooster sauce. The spicy broth made my eyes burn, but it went so well with the delicate pieces of sliced chicken. It was the perfect winter lunch.



We discussed our favorite Japanese ramen place and we all agreed that they make the freshest and tastiest gyoza. Lunch there next week or perhaps on my birthday. But really, I think I want fried Japanese small plates for my birthday lunch, with perfectly grilled bits of mackerel and dancing bonito flakes and sweet slices of fish cake and crunchy, julienned daikon pickle.



To round out this afternoon of Asian cuisine, I drove myself over to Cafe Verde, because of the 7,000 tea places in the immediate vicinity of my office, they make the best bubble milk tea, not too sweet, plenty of pearls. I stood in like and watched the skinny college kids nibble deep-fried cuttle fish balls off of chopsticks. And then, this is a first, I ordered my drink... in Mandarin.

Three best words in the world: Pineapple Taro Bun!



The boss just brought me a fresh pineapple taro bun from Marina Foods. I really love working within inches of really good dim sum and pho and a few miles from decent mongolian bbq and ramen and sushi.



Speaking of Marina Foods, I went there to get my Thanksgiving crustaceans from their Wall O' Live Seafood on the day before Thanksgiving. However, even before I managed to get a parking space, while I was waiting for a woman to pull out of a space for me, my car was rear-ended. For those of you keep track. New Car: 0, The Enemy: 2. This is, in fact, my third car accident in 2007 and prior to 2007, I had never been in a car accident.



The good news is, after a hit and run on 17 during rush hour traffic, being rammed into while at a complete stop by a woman going less than 10 miles per hour didn't even raise my blood pressure. I told her not to worry, joked that this is why we both have insurance and told her not to let it ruin her holiday. So her insurance called me yesterday to tell me that she had admitted it was her fault and just wanted to make sure that they took good care of me. This sort of thing restores my faith in people. We aren't all terrible.



I must take these little things and wrap myself up in them like a blanket. I am doing my best to cheer myself up. 

I must admit to missing the turkey a wee bit, but only two days later when I started experiencing phantom open face turkey sandwich pangs as I shuffled through the refrigerator, searching for leftovers. I had to settle on leftover tagliatelle souffle, which I paired with five Trader Joe's turkey meatballs. Turkey and lobster cravings are satisfied for quite a while now.