My Thoughts

The Service of Pain

   Mon, March 15, 2010 - 10:11 AM
Pain believe it or not serves a purpose. It keeps us in line with reality in ways we don't always connect with.

On a phyiscal level, pain allows our body to know sometime is wrong and needs our attention.

Emotionally pain allows us to know that certain situations are not ideal and should not be tolerated. Yet, we do our best to avoid pain it as if its a sign of failure or weakness.

We fear pain. We run from it. Or when we do have pain we try to quickly eliminate it through all means possible. We either over eat, overdrink or engage in all types of numbing actions to reduce our awareness of pain.

Unfortunate in our speedy need to feel no pain, we also lose the valueable lessons and messages that are part of the package. I'll be honest I don't care for the new age explanation of "we create" our misery bullshit. But I do believe that in listening to our emotions we learn a lot about ourselves and our realities.

This month as many of you know I've had major losses. I'll be honest I've had intense days of different types of feelings. My therapy for my feelings has been to blog, be quiet and just be. Its not easy to do these things. Its easier to blog, but you run the risk of getting overloaded with tons of advice that can be more confusing then helpful.. However it gets the feelings to the surface in a truly healing way.

The hardest thing to do is be quiet and just be. For me its easy to get busy and forget things through the fine art of distraction. Not having a job right now means not being able to get distracted with other people's pain or problems. Being alone at home means facing myself 100%. Being quiet means listening to the sound of my pain. For me pain is not so hard to feel, but not having a quick solution is the hardest part. I am doer and a action type of person. Just sitting is torture, but a valueable lesson in patience.

To "just be" means not always taking action. Not always having a solution to every damm problem. Pain sometimes just requires time and nothing more.

For me pain has served as a creator of patience and a valeuable instrument for change. Its has allowed me to redefine what work really means to me, what being consumed by strong emotions can do and the power of external support.

My pain has not made me weaker. If anything its awaken me in a different level. Its allowed me to take action in a positive manner. I've actually created a "real" budget which means I will be able to afford things I didn't think i could while making less money. Plus its allowed me to reduce my credit card bills and overhead which i didn't think was possible. Yup. I've trimmed my budget by $1000 so far. Its taught me not to worry about things that are not permanent anyway...

If you're in pain today...ask yourself what is behind this pain? Is it time to change what no longer works? Is it time to face what is unhealthy and outgrown? I outgrew my job but was hanging on since I didn't have faith in my budget skills. I still have some discomfort about the future, but I it doesn't mean my feelings have to consume me. They just alert me to what needs attention...

For today..I'm quiet...mellow.. a little scare..and also a little excited about the good stuff as well.


add a comment
Mon, March 15, 2010 - 11:46 AM
Yes Misstress
pain is an educator, to be sure,
it has much to teach us all,
if we allow ourselves to learn from it...

he/she/z who has not graduated from the school of pain is truely ignorant...

"a day without pain , is like food without flavor" - Marquis de'Sade
Mon, March 15, 2010 - 1:24 PM
Pain and loss are great teachers...
Allow yourself feel the feelings, but draw your attention back to focus on the excitement about the good stuff, and to get in touch with what will serve your higher self. I've been on a long journey with this process, and I am only now able to let the excitement, and my own intuition about what is best for me, to guide me through the changes, and to be proactive in choosing what experiences I will create and express through this inevitable change.
Mon, March 22, 2010 - 3:47 PM
I split up with my ex about 3 weeks ago and it was emotionally painful for a little while, however about 5 weeks ago she subjected me to a completely unprovoked attack and my arm, from the shoulder to the fingertips, still hurts. It's a great helper with whatever emotional pain I might otherwise feel.