mmm
directions
the paths before me are many
weaving there way together this way and that
things can get confusing
if i dont remember myself
some times it is so hard to know
who is myself
especially when
the city life batts her pretty little eyes
at me whispering big city dreams
asking me to stay
and join in the fun..
as much as the desire is ther
it all seems rather empty.
i am weary of her allure
she makes me act different
it is as if i dont have enough
and i need more
more money
more friends
more things
more image
i feel like a junky around her
always lookin to score
she know s ill be back too
even if i dont want to
the material girl has her ways.
but what does bring me back here?
what is it about her-
that begs me to follow?
i see through her illusion..
yet..
can i see through mine?

to the newyear
i lie in bed to late
sun crusted in my eye
i throw clouds over the window
and ignore you
i am taking my time
last year was rough
what makes you so sure
im ready for a new year-
im still working on the old one
jeez
you taught me lots
made some what a believer out of me
and asked a whole lot from me
alot of which i struggled with
because i didnt understand why...
you kept telling me,
'dont worry about it-
have faith.'
all my concepts were smashed
my heart was broken
my life an emotional wasteland
'dont worry about it-
have faith.'
faith to what-?
faith that this pain has meaning?
i get so angry sometimes
frankly because i dont understand
the more i try the more it hurts
and you say,
'let go my friend,
let go my friend and breathe.'
you fill this dark room with presence
turning tears into diamonds
i want to lay my head in your lap
and fall back asleep again into this world-
but you nudge me ever so to keep awake.
whispering sunshine in my ear-
the best parts are still to come.
im ready 006
open and receptive as i can be