Day 7

Have not had a smoke in a week, the cravings are all but gone and I think I will be fine now. I had to restart my diet today due to some cheating this weekend, but, all in all I am feeling better.

5th Day

Beginning of Day 5 on not smoking, think I will be okay on that one. Other then that I cheated on my diet pretty big last night so I have said I am going to restart the diet hot and heavy monday, it has just been very difficult because of the quitting smoking to deprive myself of everything.

Day 4 Smoking

261lbs
Day 4 Still Smoke Free :)

I am tired as hell, I will write more when I feel better.

Weight Loss and Quitting Smoking

I will start keeping track on here of my total weight loss since the beginning (May 1st) and also of quitting smoking (July 31). So:

May 1 2006: 288lbs
July 31 2006: 258lbs

Total over 2 months is 30lbs on the money. My absolute goal is another 70lbs. I will keep this up in 30 day and 10lbs increments.

As for not smoking I have not had a cigarette since about 10:30pm last night. I am doing okay, a bit irritable, but, all in all I am okay. I am finished smoking..... I will try to start a before and after photo shoot ;) SekSay!!!!!

Why?

I am finding it harder and harder to work on my own projects. After sitting in front of the computer all day, going home, working out and eating dinner, I just cannot force myself to work on web stuff for some reason. Why is it so hard for people in general to do for themselves and yet give 150% to other people? I have the skills, knowledge, and equipment to make a lot of money for myself online, I just cannot find the drive to finish a project anymore. Never understood that...

Technology

Ya know. As I sit her typing this rant I find myself wondering what the hell we are doing here. I mean I KNOW we were not built to sit at a desk slamming away mindlessly at a keyboard for hours on end. Human bodies were built to work the earth, hunt, gather, and all that other stuff our predecessors had the pleasure of doing. Technology allows us to be lazy, it allows us to turn to one of hundrends of channels on the television without having to get up. We are quickly becoming the slaves to machines that need our input to think, compute, and crunch the information that keeps tabs on our daily lives. I just think people need an "awakening" of spirituality. People need to get back out to feel the earth between their fingers and realize that we are all a very small part of a macro-ogranism that we like to call earth. Mindless Rant Off..... ;)

Lord William Fidgett

I got this in my email and thought I would post it. Rest well Fidgett....

www.legacy.com/Kansas/DeathNotices.asp


A Poem For The Grieving
Author unknown


Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.

Greed

I have been thinking alot lately about the evil what is greed. We see it every time we go buy gas, we see it when we buy food and pay taxes. I see it at work to extremes. By nature, I am not generally a greedy person, of course I want enough to live comfortably, but, I am not greedy, I am human.

Reading Cai's post yesterday really helped me to understand that I should be thankful for what I have whether it be friends, family, a roof over my head, or a nice meal to eat. My wife thinks I spend to much time trying to find that "million dollar idea" and not enough time being thankful for what I do have. I tried to tell her, I think about those ideas simply because I want to make life better for the both of us....she replied...."I have no problems with my life, I would rather be poor with you then rich with someone else." Talk about feeling guilty.

Anyway, greed has become an issue lately that I have thought about at great length only to find there is no answer. Some people are greedy and nothing will change them. For me, I am going to try to be a little more thankful on a daily basis for the wonderful wife, great friends, and small creature comforts that make life worth living.

Have a great Weekend.