in less than a week, i turn 21. im excited but i know that really, deep down nothing will *really* change, unless you count the cells in my liver.
what i do know is that i have an offer from two schools to study. wait 1 semester, i might have more. i know that in the spring i will have the oportunity to study abroad.
what i think is, will a school for art have enough food for my brain? will a state school be good enough to really tickle whatever bone it is that needs tickling in order for me to really *want* to learn? because i do, you know, i do *want* to learn.
last semester i had a great teacher who is by far the best ive had in a very very long time, if not the best ever. we remain friends outside of school and it makes me sad to think he wont be around forever (long story).
i also have found myself suddendly immeresed, here, in san franciso, in people who WAY to cool- from genuinly wonderful people, to excelent roomies who hang out with me and eat donuts with me and cook brunch with mimosas with me; to musicians that know other people i know... for the first time in 5 years, i ahve a community around me that is a connected, thriving, supportive, adventurous, charismatic and ambitious..and i dont know if i really want to give that up yet. but then again, when i see the way people's minds work in school..it makes me jealous.
ive been riding my bike every day, pushing my body to recover still from the way it betrayed me 2 years ago (if you dont know, you can ask). i still have tummy fat (whatever) but i can feel myself able to push harder and go further than before and thats neat- this is no sitting around in a room with someone yelling at you to push harder, this is going up a hill and you are going to fall and die if you dont push harder SO FUCKING PUSH HARDER.
anyways, back to my birthday. it's pirate themed. its a pub crawl at night, a games party earlier in the day. you can come if you ask. and any advice on pubs (as i dont have much experience) is much appreciated.