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"If you have only three seconds to explain it, the most you can say is, it is literally saving people's lives."

"If you have a few minutes, you can go into how it's saving people's lives and how it's the most fun thing on the planet you could ever do with your time."

"If you have twenty minutes, you could add how it's single-handedly responsible for changing the face of the earth and history as we know it."

"But if you have thirty five minutes, it becomes like the most disgusting, awful fuck in the ass wihouth a reach around bastardization and the exclamation point at the end of the word sellout and a disgustiong experiment in how far people will go to debase and disgrace themselves in pathetic social climbing."

"And if you have two hours, well, then -- it must be stopped!! The impact on the environment and on this small town and these people following it with this blind faith, a cult, disgusting, sucking money out of a healthy art scene and leaving it awful, and spreading disease and danger, and it's a miracle hundreds aren't burned to death...

"But when you can explain it for two or three days, write an entire book about it, you can show the negative in comedic context while still postulating the positive. But please remember: The Burning Man arts festival is like taking a VW bug with ten thousand miles on it from 1956 that's been abandoned in a garage with no humidity, in perfect condition, and getting it tuned up and then building a catapult out of thousand of pieces of wood formed from felling old-growth trees by hand with an ax, whittling the pins and releases, and taking two years and three million dollars to take that catapult and send this perfect VW bug into orbit just so this guy with money can stand and listen to this perfectly tuned VW bug fly through the air and smash against the fucking ground just because he can"
--From "This is Burning Man" by Brian Doherty, paraphrased words of Chicken John

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Now life has become more passive and white collar and most people in America don't work dangerous jobs that beat you up. You can't expect people to go from hunters and gatherers for millenia and then for this hundred years oh, were going to be office workers! And everything is going to be alright and there isnt going to be anything pent up from that. But there is obviously a lot of pent up shit. And People Need Release. And Fear is Never Boring.
-- Brian Doherty (This is Burning Man)

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An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
- Mitch Hedberg

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"You know what I mean. Always that same LSD story, you’ve all seen it: 'Young man on acid, thought he could fly, jumped out of a building. What a tragedy.' What a dick! Fuck him! He’s an idiot! If he thought he could fly, why didn’t he take off from the ground first? Check it out. You don’t see ducks lining up to catch elevators to fly South! They fly from the ground, you moron! Quit ruining it for everybody! He’s a moron, he’s dead, good. We lost a moron, fucking celebrate! Boy I just felt the world get lighter - we lost a moron! Put on the Hammer album, I’m ready to dance! [dances] 'We lost a moron!' I don’t mean to sound cold or cruel or vicious, but I am so that’s the way it comes out."
- - Bill Hicks

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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die." --Roy Batty, "Blade Runner"